My experience with Borderline Personality Disorder

[Chaingun_Lincoln]

I found SoSuave when I was searching for information about Borderline Personality Disorder. Thanks to many of the BPD threads here I managed to recognize that my ex had BPD and break it off with her. Here is my story for anyone that is curious.

The first few weeks we were together she was the nicest, sweetest girl that I had ever been with. It was like a dream that I didn't want to wake up from. The sex was AMAZING, seriously the best sex I've ever had. She'd do anything for me in bed and she would really enjoy it. She was easily a 9 out of 10 and acted like she didn't know how hot she was, which really turned me on. She'd cook for me, clean the house, do ANYTHING for me and ask nothing in return. She was the perfect girl!

After the first month little red flags started popping up. She'd talk to other guys on her cel phone, sometimes ex-boyfriends, saying that they were "just friends" and that I shouldn't be so paranoid. We used to f*ck 2 or 3 times a day, but she started refusing to have sex for days at a time, saying she was "too tired". Other times she would be blowing me or something, and then suddenly just stop and say that she didn't want to finish. She always had an excuse, and I always bought it because she was so convincing. Seriously, her skills at manipulation were amazing. The more I paid attention to her, the worse she would treat me. If I didn't say just the right thing at just the right time, she would tell me how selfish I was and storm out of the house. Nothing I did was good enough.

One day she would be the happiest person in the world, the next day she'd be extremely depressed and threaten to kill herself. She'd make up fantastic stories like how she was "almost raped" in the parking lot on her way home, and even cut a huge gash in her own forehead with a piece of glass to "prove" her story. She could make herself cry at the drop of a hat which made her even MORE convincing. She'd do crazy sh*t like burn herself with cigarette lighters, cut herself on non-visible places like her thighs and feet, even hit herself in the head with a hammer and make me take her to the emergency room. She did this because she said it "relieved the pain" when she was really depressed, though she regretted it later. If I wasn't paying enough attention to her, she'd threaten to kill herself and spend the entire day crying. The next day she'd be perfectly happy and would act like nothing happened. She didn't even notice how her actions were affecting me.

Things kept going downhill from there. She started refusing sex for weeks at a time, saying she was on her period or that she was "sick". Whenever she couldn't think of a decent excuse, she just said she was "too tired". I should have dropped her right then, but she had her hooks in me so deep that I actually believed I was in love with her. Also, I genuinelly believed she might kill herself if I walked out on her. There was always this little voice inside my head telling me she was f*ckinging psycho, but I ignored it because I cared so much about her. She was a master at manipulating people's emotions. She would always blame me for every problem in her life and actually make me BELIEVE it was my fault. I got so lost in her little world that I stopped doing my hobbies and even skipped a few days of work to stay home and cheer her up.

Eventually I listened to my gut and decided to end it. I realized that she would never be the sweet girl I fell in love with. My only regret is that I didn't listen to my gut sooner. It's been a few weeks and I'm trying to piece my life back together, but she really f*cked up my head. I feel like I lost part of myself while I was with her. I turned into a completely different person.

To summarize: STAY THE F*CK AWAY FROM WOMEN WITH BPD. The sex is amazing but it is not worth it.

 

[the-nighthawk]

Eventually I listened to my gut and decided to end it. I realized that she would never be the sweet girl I fell in love with. My only regret is that I didn't listen to my gut sooner. It's been a few weeks and I'm trying to piece my life back together, but she really f*cked up my head. I feel like I lost part of myself while I was with her. I turned into a completely different person.

Man, you'll need for this story more than just some weeks.. but month after month you'll feel better and you will also understand more about yourself. A BPD female is a perfect chameleon. She is giving you "this" what you want because she is reflecting at the beginning also your inside. At the end you'll never know what was her real personality / inside. Probably there is nothing, just this emptiness inside of her. So you were in love with her but it was just a "ghost" of yourself.
Believe me she hasn't damaged you. You will love again, like you will fvck again but learn by this situation and pay attention to red flags. BPDs can play their games only with special characters and it would be too bad, if this will happening also for a second time in your life.
Plus don't give her the chance to contact you again because she will try this.

For all the others: BPDs can't be fixed by love because they don't know what love is. They need psychological help. If you want some action in your life you can let them enter in your life but never start something serious with them, the chance is just to high that you will fall with them

 

[the-nighthawk]

...mhmmmmm..sometimes I think everyone should have made in his life a BPD experience. Just to learn about the own borders and mistakes. It's a great "psycho trip" to study the own character and the weak sides of it. So see it in this way to improve your inner game. You'll become the old guy like before but you've now also the chance to become stronger than before when you were this BPD victim

 

[brokenupinside]

Maybe you are joking,surely.....
My g/f wasn't tested she was diagnosed with depression,then after years she was diagnosed bipolar with possible m/p and then and only then BPD came into the pic.One day she said I'm cured or I'm not sick and stopped going,then after some time when she had a crises she called her therapist and the dr said don't come just call me on the phone if you really need me or get another therapist.

 

[AAAgent]

i'm starting to doubt that some of these people have encountered BPD or that even i might have. I did not come to the conclusion that my ex had BPD. i just thought she had a lot of sh!t going on for her and that's why she had problems. As we were breaking up my sister which was a nurse started to see her change in behavior and said it was similar to BPD. when i looked up what bpd was she fit almost 9/9 descriptions fully as traits that characterize it. I was never sure and never will be sure. She lie's too much for me to know the truth nor do i care that anymore but it seems like every week there's a new person coming in saying they met another bpd girl or just broke up with their bpd ex which sounds ridiculous. Since BPD is one of the hardest disorders to diagnose i'm sure the population of the disorder is probably not accurate. There are doctors that even refuse to treat BPD patients because they are so manipulative and they really can't tell if they're getting better or not.