My ex came back to me saying she wants me back

[Blacksheep]

Im getting pretty good... Until now just got 4 very hot girls and it seems the more I lose weight, more easy it is to hook up on women.

And then when I'm just having my life in order, my ex just texted me saying she is so bad, she still loves me and she wants me back. I ended up answering her and we talked. I told we were not compatible cause she don't want to follow the same path as I. And it was ok. I also said we could think about date but it would not be the same... I would not put her as a priority again and we would only enjoy our time together without any obligation.

She god mad and after that she told she would like to follow by my side and that she would put me as first priority (she asked me if I dated another women before that and I told the truth).

It seems when I don't give a fck to a woman, they chase me like a crazy horny girl. I'm feeling so good with my SMV that I definitely found that I was disrespecting myself running against any ex I ever dated.

My question is: does she really want to become like submisse or now definitely give value to me? Or this is only because she found out Im not suffering anymore?

I know its not a good idea to go back and I actually don't feel anything to her based on how she devalued me on the past. But I was curious to hear what she wanted to say. And also I would like to hear your opinions here on that.

What could have changed that she came to me like that?

Was that because I really realized how much she didn't care about me when I was in love and committed to invest on her and then Im just feeling happy doing my stuffs. Have my money, my job, my stuffs and can do the sh!t I want withou accepting bullsh1t?

I meditated so much those days, had some lonely times and used it to kept on silent and immerse in all those feelings. And after meditating a lot, Im just on a state that I really can't care about those sad feelings I was having.

I feel attraction to her, we had great sex... But that "love feeling" seems to be dead. And now she wants me back... Thats funny.

 

[Blacksheep]

Wow this is so textbook it’s eerie.

You’re going to do what you’re going to do so not sure why you’re asking for forum advice.

Sounds like you’re going to take her back when we all know this is just her attempt at seeing if she has you on the hook.

You mentioned you were already seeing multiple women. My guess is she found out and her ego is bruised. Don’t get it twisted this nonsense she is pulling on you is for HER not YOU.

Speaking from personal experience, ALL women do this if you didn’t make a fool out of yourself during the breakup. They just want to see if they still have their spell casted on you.

Thats a good point man! Thanks!

It seems just like that... Maybe she thought I would be sad and trying everything to get her back. When she didnt see it happening she got anxious because of that... Then came at me promising that now she would definitely become the woman of my dreams.

 

[TheProspect]

You and your ex only broke up 18 days ago. 14 days ago you posted a thread on how to overcome your post-breakup sadness...

Needless to say, at this point, continuing to have contact with your ex is only going to get your hamster spinning (this thread is evidence), and it's going to delay the healing process.

I would go a strict No Contact. If her reaching out gets your hamster spinning, block her.

My question is: does she really want to become like submisse or now definitely give value to me? Or this is only because she found out Im not suffering anymore?

What could have changed that she came to me like that?

Was that because I really realized how much she didn't care about me when I was in love and committed to invest on her and then Im just feeling happy doing my stuffs. Have my money, my job, my stuffs and can do the sh!t I want withou accepting bullsh1t?

Drop your desire for closure, certainty, and answers (desire can and will bring suffering should you attach yourself to the outcomes). You require none of those in order to move on. Over time you will ruminate less about her, and these questions will be irrelevant to you.

In the meantime, allow yourself to process your emotions -- remind yourself that your emotions will be volatile, but ultimately transitory, and therefore will pass.

Stay busy, talk to friends, engage in your hobbies, adopt a turtle, meet other women, and time will do the rest.

 

[Dr.Suave]

She was the one that ended the relatioship if I remember correctly. U can use her for sex and nothing more. U can never give her exclusivity again.

 

[Epimanes]

If your going to do it..... tell her straight up. Make my D!ck hard... not my life. And if it's the other way around or she reverts back to her previous behavior you will next her like she never existed.

 

[Blacksheep]

You and your ex only broke up 18 days ago. 14 days ago you posted a thread on how to overcome your post-breakup sadness...

Needless to say, at this point, continuing to have contact with your ex is only going to get your hamster spinning (this thread is evidence), and it's going to delay the healing process.

I would go a strict No Contact. If her reaching out gets your hamster spinning, block her.





Drop your desire for closure, certainty, and answers (desire can and will bring suffering should you attach yourself to the outcomes). You require none of those in order to move on. Over time you will ruminate less about her, and these questions will be irrelevant to you.

In the meantime, allow yourself to process your emotions -- remind yourself that your emotions will be volatile, but ultimately transitory, and therefore will pass.

Stay busy, talk to friends, engage in your hobbies, adopt a turtle, meet other women, and time will do the rest.

Agree!

I was thinking to keep her only for enjoying sex and not giving her exclusivity, but she clearly said she don't accept it. Also I should explore better options since it can give me the chance to meet one girl that would genuinely show high interest on me.

 

[Blacksheep]

She was the one that ended the relatioship if I remember correctly. U can use her for sex and nothing more. U can never give her exclusivity again.

True. But I doubt she will accept it... I told her we could go out but without any commitment. She god mad hahaha.

Funny is that she got mad about those stuffs, and when I addressed her mistakes she always dodges or minimize it. She also apologize but I don't know how true it is.

I think I got the nice guy syndrome with her and that's why she devalued me. Now I'm talking to other women and not caring to her anymore, she is crazy about me.

And also with those women I'm dating, not caring too much seems to be a turn on to women.

 

[Blacksheep]

If your going to do it..... tell her straight up. Make my D!ck hard... not my life. And if it's the other way around or she reverts back to her previous behavior you will next her like she never existed.

That's a good point!

I think that if I decided to go back, the time I started to be nice to her again and show that I care she would start all those devaluations again, or even worse.

 

[2Rocky]

Im getting pretty good... Until now just got 4 very hot girls and it seems the more I lose weight, more easy it is to hook up on women.

And then when I'm just having my life in order, my ex just texted me saying she is so bad, she still loves me and she wants me back. I ended up answering her and we talked. I told we were not compatible cause she don't want to follow the same path as I. And it was ok. I also said we could think about date but it would not be the same... I would not put her as a priority again and we would only enjoy our time together without any obligation.

You have "levelled up" folks you have outgrown see that. It is a mark of growth. Remember that.

 

[jimwho]

In 14 Days you got four very hot girls and lost weight. We should be asking you for your secrets..

 

[Barrister]

Im getting pretty good... Until now just got 4 very hot girls and it seems the more I lose weight, more easy it is to hook up on women.

And then when I'm just having my life in order, my ex just texted me saying she is so bad, she still loves me and she wants me back. I ended up answering her and we talked. I told we were not compatible cause she don't want to follow the same path as I. And it was ok. I also said we could think about date but it would not be the same... I would not put her as a priority again and we would only enjoy our time together without any obligation.

She god mad and after that she told she would like to follow by my side and that she would put me as first priority (she asked me if I dated another women before that and I told the truth).

It seems when I don't give a fck to a woman, they chase me like a crazy horny girl. I'm feeling so good with my SMV that I definitely found that I was disrespecting myself running against any ex I ever dated.

My question is: does she really want to become like submisse or now definitely give value to me? Or this is only because she found out Im not suffering anymore?

I know its not a good idea to go back and I actually don't feel anything to her based on how she devalued me on the past. But I was curious to hear what she wanted to say. And also I would like to hear your opinions here on that.

What could have changed that she came to me like that?

Was that because I really realized how much she didn't care about me when I was in love and committed to invest on her and then Im just feeling happy doing my stuffs. Have my money, my job, my stuffs and can do the sh!t I want withou accepting bullsh1t?

I meditated so much those days, had some lonely times and used it to kept on silent and immerse in all those feelings. And after meditating a lot, Im just on a state that I really can't care about those sad feelings I was having.

I feel attraction to her, we had great sex... But that "love feeling" seems to be dead. And now she wants me back... Thats funny.

People rarely change. And if they do change in order to "make it work" it usually just results in resentment - thus not really fixing the problem - just masking it.

I wouldn't trust a single word that comes out of her mouth and I would keep seeing the hotties you have lined up and tell her "sorry, you had your chance."

 

[Blacksheep]

You have "levelled up" folks you have outgrown see that. It is a mark of growth. Remember that.

Those last days were really good to think and learn. I went inside the pain I was feeling through meditation and it seems that it really helped.

Its weird cause Im on a state where those emotions I used to have doesnt destabilize me anymore... Maybe I gained more clarity over what happened.

 

[Blacksheep]

In 14 Days you got four very hot girls and lost weight. We should be asking you for your secrets..

Hahaha... For weight loss Im on a keto journey in the past months and Im losing weight slowly now but constantly and Im feeling better with myself and maybe this can be making me more confident.

For the girls I really didnt understand yet what changed... Maybe lucky or not, but its different and it seems they feel more attracted to me. Probably because Im not that fat as before and Im doing calisthenics exercises and some walkings/runnings... The fact is that Im happy having those outcomes.

 

[Blacksheep]

People rarely change. And if they do change in order to "make it work" it usually just results in resentment - thus not really fixing the problem - just masking it.

I wouldn't trust a single word that comes out of her mouth and I would keep seeing the hotties you have lined up and tell her "sorry, you had your chance."

Thats a good point.

Theres also a risk of that mask falling after some time. And this could be even worse (if on marriage or having a child).

 

[Barrister]

Thats a good point.

Theres also a risk of that mask falling after some time. And this could be even worse (if on marriage or having a child).

You got it, brother. Which is why you are better off giving this woman her walking papers.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Make her go through sexual hoops first.

 

[SoSuave666]

Have some respect for yourself.

 

[SoSuave666]

If you want a real answer: you’re too in your feelings for any actual interaction. Even if you could seduce her into some sex, any endorphin rush and pleasure you get will dissipate and you’ll feel worse the next day when she ain’t blowin your phone up.

 

[Blacksheep]

If you want a real answer: you’re too in your feelings for any actual interaction. Even if you could seduce her into some sex, any endorphin rush and pleasure you get will dissipate and you’ll feel worse the next day when she ain’t blowin your phone up.

Big true man.

For me its gone... My life is really way better without those bullsh1ts I had to accept.

I thought about what she was offering to me. And I was offering way more than her. Basically she offered me sex.

And I offered her money, food, sex, going out moments, feeling of love (that she doesnt show to feel the same), and my time. And also not gettiing laid with any girl. It was so easy for her... So of course she wants me back.

But as you said, I should give myself more respect.

 

[Solomon]

In 14 Days you got four very hot girls and lost weight. We should be asking you for your secrets..

LOL I thought I'm the only one who caught that, If you have 4 hot girls who cares about your ex op?