My Disrespectful Girlfriend - advice??

[soulforge]

guys update...things got crazy last night!! fu'king crazy!!!!!!!!!



i get a call from her yesterday morning (unkown number) it was her, she tells me that her friend was not drunk & she only rang me to tell me, how much my she loves me & that i should treat her better!!

and because she is due her period, she gets emotional & clingy... she told me she loves me & could we talk, as it was just a silly argument that got out of control


she said, if i want to end the relationship, then she is fine with that & understands...

because i still love her... (or i am addicted to her) i said yeh we can have a talk... but i cannot tolerate her friends ringing me up

i told her, if me and you have any issues, then it is between us both to resolve it, not your mates butting there noses in, and ringing me up, giving me a lecture, when they don't even know how things are from my angle

she came over to my apartment to talk... she told me that she loves me more that anyone before... but sometimes i am "uncaring" and when we have a fall out (i.e) "when she disrespects me, i am too tough with her


my responcse - i do love you, but that does not mean i should lose my self respect in the process... i told her that she deals with conflict in a very childish manner

she complained about how i should be more loving towards her & that when she misbehaves, i should overlook her behaviour & still make an effort to talk to her, instead of ignoring her

what...it felt like she was saying to me, that i should put up with her silly ways...

for example the other day, we had a sillyargument & she sent me a text saying "goodnight you child"


this was at 7pm in the evening...normaly we dont text goodnight to each other till 11pm at night...

so i took that as her, basicly f#cking me off for the rest of the day.... so i left her to it... did not text her or ring her anymore... later that night she sends me a text saying "i love you" then later "goodnight baby i love you"

so i ignored them... i was upset and angry about her f#ckingme off for the night...

anyhow she is now saying, i should have rang her & texted her???? but that would be me giving into her bad behaviour.


while at my apartment, we shared a bottle of wine & talked about our problems.... she kept telling me, that i am the most amazing loving guy, but some days i am not so loving & i should try to be loving all the time???

she told me,one day last week, i was a bit quiet around her, and not so happy and loving & chirpy.... wtf


i bluntly told her.... i am not a puppet on a string for you... yes i do have days when i am happy..... but everybody has off days, when you are stressed or tired, or just feeling a bit down in genral

i am not this machine that has to greet you with happiness & love every single time we meet.... you cannot expect me to treat you like a princess every single day & as soon as i have a bad day, due to stress or tirdness... you criticise me for it... you make me feel i am not doing enough for you


she then commenced to point out my failings... how i am loving, but quite heartless too, when we have argument (because i dont put up with her shiit)


she made me feel like i was failing her & was not good enough for her... so i told her straight..... if i am such a terrible person, then why come here to talk today.... why do you even want to be with me...if i am such a terrible person


her response - because i,m in love with you


me response - then let me be whom i am.... i cannot be this perfect boyfriend for you, yes i am loving towards you, but i cannot be this happy, loving, kissing you ass guy 24.7 and 7 days a week

you are trying to mould me into a guy who worships you, but i fail....then i am rubbish and i am bad person


she then started to get cold towrds me, started blanking me.... she did not like the fact, that i told her i love her... but that does not mean i should tolertate childish, or manipulative behaviour from you

she just sat there looking angry & kept ignoring me.... she then said to me...

oh maybe it will not work out between us then... huh maybe we should just be friends? i was like WTF

she then looks at me, and says i off to bed!!!


because i told her i don't have to put up with crap... but i do love her... this upset her!!!!


i went in the bedroom & said, look i dont want all this drama....

her - maybe the next girlfriend you have u will be happy with

me - next girlfriend? are you saying we arenot going to last

her - no i dont think we will if you carry on like this

me - well we should forget about marriage, living together etc then

her - yeh no problem, i,m good with that


me - look i think you should leave my house, you are upsetting me & you are making me feel this small, like i not worthy of you


she did not want to leave... i told her please you have to leave... i told her straight... i think you are a manipulative person & you are treating like crap.... nothing i can do makes you happy or is enough for you

you slag me off to you friends & generaly treat me pretty bad

i told her to leave, and do not contact me again... you are an abusive person!!! I do not want to be with you, marry you, or live with you... please leave i will get you a taxi!!!

she then blew up in a fit of rage.... grabbed my dumbell wieghts & smashed it into my 50inch television

she smashed my computer monitor, smashed my lamp, smashed my cds... then she started punching me in the face!!!!!

screaming... how dare you treat me like this!!!!!

i held her back by the arms, to stop her from punching me any further...


she then said to me.. i am going to call the police & tell them you punched me in the face & gave me a black eye!!!

she was trying to frame me for assault, yet i did not even touch her, other than defend myself from her punches!!!!


it took me about an hour, to get her out of my aprtment, and i showed her the way towards a taxi firm

she made her way towrds the taxi firm crying.... now i am certain she is going to try and stich me up for assualt

my flat & furniture a are a mess.. smashed to pieces


i told her straight that she has been treating me like crap & she does not deserve me & i am not putting up with anymore of this


her reaction was bat **** crazy!!!!!

 

[soulforge]

stupid f#cking thing is.... i feel sorry for her now... and i feel some sense of loss too... wtf is wrong with me

 

[soulforge]

I'm not going to tell you how you feel... but you say you love her.... Let me ask you this.. Do you feel addicted to her? Does she make you feel like the greatest man she has ever known? Then pull this on you where she and her friends slam on you and make fun of you..... This is classic BPD behavior, feeding off your need to "prove to her" you are not like the rest.... Here's the rub, the proving never stops and only gets harder and harder and if she deems you failed at any point well then she has a free pass to cheat and get validation of how hot and great she is from whatever eager chump there is to give it to her.... Remember you're the prize here..... Move on

yes feel totaly addicted to her

 

[JoeMarron]

Damn well she just made it easy for you. File charges on her ass and if you're still dumb enough not to leave her and never look back then you're utterly hopeless. Remember this the next time you get with a chick if you start putting up with bullsh!t.

 

[CrimsonPanther]

You realize she cheated on you that night, right? She felt guilty and told her girls about it, and her friends convinced her it was your fault - that's why they ambush-called you in the middle of the night. Anytime a girl's friends do that, 9 times out of 10 it's a dead rationalizing giveaway

QFT

that woman is cheating on you 100%. i have many girls as friends and they always act like this when they cheat. also their "friends" never tell them it is their fault, they just lie to her to seem a good friend, and tell them it is not their fault.

dump her as fast as you can. i am sure you can do better than this.

and she saying she does not answer you bc she talks to other people also is the same when you ask a girl out tuesday and she tells you to wait until friday for her answer to see if her weekend will be free (boring enough to go out with you). this also means instant no contact/next

and smashing your things in your house? i don't know american laws, but here if i had sued her, she would be forced to buy those back for me. everything she broke. with a good lawyer she could even end up in prison/asylum. and did you just watch her destroying your house? why didn't you do anything at the first act of aggression?

 

[soulforge]

i have decided not to press any charges against her, as that will mean coming into contact with her in some way...

there is a chance she might try to frame me up for assualt... cross that bridge when i come to it



what i regeret the most is, not telling her to leave earlier... i should have told her to leave ealrier, then moment she starting giving me the cold shoulder..


she did admit to a couple of wrong doings, for example getting her friend to ring me


but other than that, she just made me feel like, nothing i could do was enough for her & i was not able to give her what she wnats in life

the more love i showed her, the more direspect i got...

 

[ludis]

And the soap opera continues.

:crackup:

In the next episode, soulforge will be having his balls pilfered by his lovers cats.

Stay tuned!

 

[soulforge]

QFT

that woman is cheating on you 100%. i have many girls as friends and they always act like this when they cheat. also their "friends" never tell them it is their fault, they just lie to her to seem a good friend, and tell them it is not their fault.

dump her as fast as you can. i am sure you can do better than this.

and she saying she does not answer you bc she talks to other people also is the same when you ask a girl out tuesday and she tells you to wait until friday for her answer to see if her weekend will be free (boring enough to go out with you). this also means instant no contact/next

and smashing your things in your house? i don't know american laws, but here if i had sued her, she would be forced to buy those back for me. everything she broke. with a good lawyer she could even end up in prison/asylum. and did you just watch her destroying your house? why didn't you do anything at the first act of aggression?

i tried to stop her. but she ran around my apartment, smashing everything that came in her way....

then when i tried to stop her, she started to punch me in the face!

i think the fact that i told her to leave, that i am done with her, i don't want anything to do with her anymore, made her just totally go bat shvt on me!

 

[soulforge]

This stuff is supposed to be fun, not drama.

Treat her like a disease. Expunge her from your life, 100%.

By the way in the future breaking shyt is grounds for "domestic violence." Call the cops when a woman gets out of hand. Most men are averse to this, but who knows what kind of insanity this batshyt crazy woman was capable of? Plus what if SHE called the cops first...man I would have had her cuffed and booked. Women have to learn the law applies to them too.

she did threaten to call the police, she said she would tell them i gave her a black eye... i did not her... and she did punch me in the face 3 times

 

[soulforge]

File a complaint and a restraining order. Paper trail on her behavior.

i have decided not to, as i just want a clean break...

 

[cordoncordon]

So it sounds as if she did a good $2500 to $4000 in damage to your property and you aren't pressing charges?

 

[soulforge]

So it sounds as if she did a good $2500 to $4000 in damage to your property and you aren't pressing charges?

she smashed my 50 inch television (£800) uk pounds
home theatre amplifier (£200)
computer monitor (£150)
lamp & speakers

got punched in the face 3 times... when i told her to leave, said to her, i dont want anything to do with you again, do not contact me again... she just flipped and lost the plot... started smashing, and then punching me

she had some wine to drink, but not loads, maybe about 2 glasses


i don't want to press charges because, she said to me, she would report me to the police for giving her a black eye... she does not have a black eye, as i did not even touch her

she has a small mark on her arm, from when i restrained her from punching me in the face... my nieghbour saw her before she left & she had not black eye or anything.. so i have a witness

i have reported the incident to the police, but told them i do not want to press charges.... as i really do not want anymore dealings with her at all

i guess i have to take this financial loss...

right now to be honest.. i am kind of hurting pretty bad, because i really did love this girl & i put up with too much of her drama & crap, because did not want to lose her

when things was good, we was amazing together.. but if i ever annoyed her, or upset her, or let her down... things turned to shvt pretty rapidly

 

[Jair213]

she smashed my 50 inch television (£800) uk pounds
home theatre amplifier (£200)
computer monitor (£150)
lamp & speakers

got punched in the face 3 times... when i told her to leave, said to her, i dont want anything to do with you again, do not contact me again... she just flipped and lost the plot... started smashing, and then punching me

she had some wine to drink, but not loads, maybe about 2 glasses


i don't want to press charges because, she said to me, she would report me to the police for giving her a black eye... she does not have a black eye, as i did not even touch her

she has a small mark on her arm, from when i restrained her from punching me in the face... my nieghbour saw her before she left & she had not black eye or anything.. so i have a witness

i have reported the incident to the police, but told them i do not want to press charges.... as i really do not want anymore dealings with her at all

i guess i have to take this financial loss...

right now to be honest.. i am kind of hurting pretty bad, because i really did love this girl & i put up with too much of her drama & crap, because did not want to lose her

when things was good, we was amazing together.. but if i ever annoyed her, or upset her, or let her down... things turned to shvt pretty rapidly

and after all of this you still want a clean break? wtf .. she will destroy your life soon enough

 

[soulforge]

and after all of this you still want a clean break? wtf .. she will destroy your life soon enough

whats wrong with wanting a clean break?

 

[Jair213]

whats wrong with wanting a clean break?

if you mean to break up with her then yeah but to come back to her smh

 

[soulforge]

if you mean to break up with her then yeah but to come back to her smh

have you not read my thread? i already ended it with her, told her to leave & to never contact me again... at this point she went ape shvt and destroyed my belongings

 

[Jair213]

have you not read my thread? i already ended it with her, told her to leave & to never contact me again... at this point she went ape shvt and destroyed my belongings

wtf

bro report her to the police that is BS

 

[JoeMarron]

i have decided not to, as i just want a clean break...

Too late for that. This is already the complete opposite of clean but if you wanna let her get away with destroying your stuff then I won't try to persuade you otherwise

 

[ludis]

Soulforge keep in mind that she's probably an expert on hoovering. Which means that she will approach you in the future in an attempt to regain your favor -ofcourse only to repeat the same abandonment cycle again.

By not pursuing some sort of damage control this time, you' re essentially sending a message that it is ok for her to **** up your property.

Think twice, down the road it could cost you more.

 

[papawapa]

GTFO out while you can. It is going to be HARD. Probably the hardest thing you have ever done in your life. Be glad, that unlike me, you don't have a twelve year history and two kids with one of these demons. You need to go strict no contact. Change your number, block her from all social media. She will try to worm her way back into your life at some point in the future. You have abandonment issues bro and it would be wise for you to also seek some therapy for yourself.