I've been on a few short, harmless dates with a HB8, and she seemed super sweet and into me. She even paid for some of the dates (and we wrestled over it.) She isn't a very good texter, but she does have a busy life. Anyway, because she's not very good at texting, or just doesn't put ugh effort into it, I don't put much effort into it either. On our last date, she said that she had a really nice time, and I didn't respond. She pretended to be mad at me the next day in a super adorable way.
Anyway, I said that I would call her early last night and that we'd work something out. She didn't pick up when I called, but she called me back 30 minutes later, because that's when she ended up getting off.
This is when things get super peculiar. So I asked her if she wanted to be picked up or meet for drinks (which was her idea) and she said that she gave her ID to her sister. This was weird, because she had two days notice that we were going out last night. I figured that she just didn't want to be drunk around me because she'd pull something too fast (I'm an optimistic bastard.) I said it was no big deal, and that we should grab coffee and cause trouble, because I'm a lightweight anyway. She laughed, but said that she was tired and smelly from work. I said that she could have time to get ready and to call me back if she decided she was too tired.
She then texts me ten minutes later that her babysitter cancelled on her. I didn't reply, as I assumed the date was off, and this sort of confirmed my suspicions about her reluctance and dropping all those excuses earlier. However, she then texts me thirty minutes later and told me that she found another sitter, so I called her. To be clear, I called her only two minutes after she sent the text, but the brat didn't pick up her phone, and she didn't call me back until twenty minutes later.
I assumed that she had been getting ready, but when I brought our night up, she started peddling more goddamn excuses, so I acted like I didn't care and that it was no big deal. In reality, I felt like I was getting mindraped. She said that she really wanted to go out though and that tomorrow would be better. When I agreed to tomorrow, she said "wait, I have this thing tomorrow." (which was tonight.)
At this point, I think she must have picked up on my confusion, because she said in a really cautious voice, "I know it seems like I'm canceling our plans..." and I interrupted her, telling her that she was canceling them. She became super sweet though and suggested special Tuesday drinks. I said "great, talk to you Tuesday." I see her Monday though, and she picked up on this, and I simply joked about ignoring her in mock anger like she had done to me after not responding to her text after our last date.
She was a bit more quiet though, but the call ended decently. Anyway, today I go onto Facebook, and I see a post from her babysitter saying that she my date had gone out on a hot date with her ex (her baby's father.) This was about an hour after I last spoke to her on the phone last night. edit: and note, we weren't dating exclusively, so it's not cheating. I'm asking how to handle her canceling on me for her ex.
And thus my question: I want to continue dating this girl, and I made the initial mistake of valuing her too highly. So my question to you is, how do I handle this? At first, I had the passive aggressive urge to like the status that betrayed her sneakiness and then completely ignore her Monday, but that certainly wouldn't get me any closer to establishing anything sexual. Or would it?
So, Sosuave, how do I come off as alpha in this scenario? I want her to know I noticed what she actually did, but I want her to favor me over him, even though he has a head start. I am pretty sure that I'm more of a catch then her ex, but I really only have his Facebook information to judge. Nevertheless, I'd really appreciate any advice on how to respond.
Anyway, I said that I would call her early last night and that we'd work something out. She didn't pick up when I called, but she called me back 30 minutes later, because that's when she ended up getting off.
This is when things get super peculiar. So I asked her if she wanted to be picked up or meet for drinks (which was her idea) and she said that she gave her ID to her sister. This was weird, because she had two days notice that we were going out last night. I figured that she just didn't want to be drunk around me because she'd pull something too fast (I'm an optimistic bastard.) I said it was no big deal, and that we should grab coffee and cause trouble, because I'm a lightweight anyway. She laughed, but said that she was tired and smelly from work. I said that she could have time to get ready and to call me back if she decided she was too tired.
She then texts me ten minutes later that her babysitter cancelled on her. I didn't reply, as I assumed the date was off, and this sort of confirmed my suspicions about her reluctance and dropping all those excuses earlier. However, she then texts me thirty minutes later and told me that she found another sitter, so I called her. To be clear, I called her only two minutes after she sent the text, but the brat didn't pick up her phone, and she didn't call me back until twenty minutes later.
I assumed that she had been getting ready, but when I brought our night up, she started peddling more goddamn excuses, so I acted like I didn't care and that it was no big deal. In reality, I felt like I was getting mindraped. She said that she really wanted to go out though and that tomorrow would be better. When I agreed to tomorrow, she said "wait, I have this thing tomorrow." (which was tonight.)
At this point, I think she must have picked up on my confusion, because she said in a really cautious voice, "I know it seems like I'm canceling our plans..." and I interrupted her, telling her that she was canceling them. She became super sweet though and suggested special Tuesday drinks. I said "great, talk to you Tuesday." I see her Monday though, and she picked up on this, and I simply joked about ignoring her in mock anger like she had done to me after not responding to her text after our last date.
She was a bit more quiet though, but the call ended decently. Anyway, today I go onto Facebook, and I see a post from her babysitter saying that she my date had gone out on a hot date with her ex (her baby's father.) This was about an hour after I last spoke to her on the phone last night. edit: and note, we weren't dating exclusively, so it's not cheating. I'm asking how to handle her canceling on me for her ex.
And thus my question: I want to continue dating this girl, and I made the initial mistake of valuing her too highly. So my question to you is, how do I handle this? At first, I had the passive aggressive urge to like the status that betrayed her sneakiness and then completely ignore her Monday, but that certainly wouldn't get me any closer to establishing anything sexual. Or would it?
So, Sosuave, how do I come off as alpha in this scenario? I want her to know I noticed what she actually did, but I want her to favor me over him, even though he has a head start. I am pretty sure that I'm more of a catch then her ex, but I really only have his Facebook information to judge. Nevertheless, I'd really appreciate any advice on how to respond.
