Closer To The Heart
New Member
Sorry if this sort of post doesn't really belong here, but I thought it was a good idea this morning when I got up. Since I started reading the material here, I've found myself bursting with ideas related to the field; some of them big, small, abstract and even nonsensical. I've also worried myself over "getting tired" with this site like a passing fad -- it's something I've done plenty of times with other online communities and I think it's from sitting so long quietly without developing some familiarity with the people in it, lurking and never posting a thing, never actually BECOMING part of the community. So, if this is the wrong spot I'm sure a moderator wouldn't mind moving it for me, otherwise I'd like to keep most of these random thoughts here in this thread, posting on a daily basis at least, and if you think any of the topics are interesting then post something, if you think they're retarded then post that, either way let's get to know each other.
Today's thought:
Almost the minute I got up out of bed, a conversation I had with a friend popped into my mind. This guy, when we were kids, was a natural with the ladies and pretty much always had a girlfriend or some sordid story from a party to tell. He even had a girlfriend who was like 4 years older than him that paid for pretty much ALL his stuff, it was like he was on the pedestal and she was the AFC. I always chalked this up to his good looks -- an athletic build and perpetual tan -- giving him loads of confidence. When I was 16 I'd think to myself I wish I could be more like this guy!
But, fast forward a few years after high school, and one night while we're both drunk he starts pouring his heart out about how he doesn't understand girls at all, how it used to be so easy for him, and he lamented over his lack of job, car, or schooling past high-school as all of these reasons he couldn't approach females. I said "Man I live right next to the biggest college in town, just go pretend to be a student for a while and you can talk to girls fine," but of course, just the way I had never taken my own advice, he didn't have the confidence to do it either.
"I'm not even a student over there, they'd know I was faking" he said sullenly, I remember this specifically because even then before I really understood anything about AFCs and DJs, I remember thinking "wow, in his head he's giving them some kind of super powers now, how could he NOT be intimidated by girls if he thinks he can they can all somehow read his mind!"
The best explanation I've gotten that I think sums it up was in a youtube video, which I can't find anymore, but the gist of it was this: "People who have an easy time with women early, because of looks or money or whatever, tend to become complacent and neglect to self improve, meanwhile people who have to work to achieve success will continue to do that, and as they begin to shine brighter the high-school natural will begin to fade and tarnish because they thought it would stay easy forever." (if anyone knows what I'm talking give me a link please, would like to find it again)
I can even apply this logic in a reverse fashion to academics; I used to get A's in every class in HS without so much as cracking a book, and oh man did that complacency **** me hard when I got to college.
So what do you guys think? How does a man's confidence erode away like that? It's such a stark memory to me now because I realize from this place how little your nice car or having all that money actually matters. Has anyone else out there found themselves in my friend's shoes? How the hell should he go about picking himself up and getting over his problems?
Today's thought:
Almost the minute I got up out of bed, a conversation I had with a friend popped into my mind. This guy, when we were kids, was a natural with the ladies and pretty much always had a girlfriend or some sordid story from a party to tell. He even had a girlfriend who was like 4 years older than him that paid for pretty much ALL his stuff, it was like he was on the pedestal and she was the AFC. I always chalked this up to his good looks -- an athletic build and perpetual tan -- giving him loads of confidence. When I was 16 I'd think to myself I wish I could be more like this guy!
But, fast forward a few years after high school, and one night while we're both drunk he starts pouring his heart out about how he doesn't understand girls at all, how it used to be so easy for him, and he lamented over his lack of job, car, or schooling past high-school as all of these reasons he couldn't approach females. I said "Man I live right next to the biggest college in town, just go pretend to be a student for a while and you can talk to girls fine," but of course, just the way I had never taken my own advice, he didn't have the confidence to do it either.
"I'm not even a student over there, they'd know I was faking" he said sullenly, I remember this specifically because even then before I really understood anything about AFCs and DJs, I remember thinking "wow, in his head he's giving them some kind of super powers now, how could he NOT be intimidated by girls if he thinks he can they can all somehow read his mind!"
The best explanation I've gotten that I think sums it up was in a youtube video, which I can't find anymore, but the gist of it was this: "People who have an easy time with women early, because of looks or money or whatever, tend to become complacent and neglect to self improve, meanwhile people who have to work to achieve success will continue to do that, and as they begin to shine brighter the high-school natural will begin to fade and tarnish because they thought it would stay easy forever." (if anyone knows what I'm talking give me a link please, would like to find it again)
I can even apply this logic in a reverse fashion to academics; I used to get A's in every class in HS without so much as cracking a book, and oh man did that complacency **** me hard when I got to college.
So what do you guys think? How does a man's confidence erode away like that? It's such a stark memory to me now because I realize from this place how little your nice car or having all that money actually matters. Has anyone else out there found themselves in my friend's shoes? How the hell should he go about picking himself up and getting over his problems?
