Master of the Universe
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2002
- Messages
- 396
- Reaction score
- 12
Hola DJs!
A few days ago, one of the guys on this board who has my phone # called me up and asked me what is the status of the Advanced DJ Boot Camp. As some of you may remember, I had posted that I would have it together and start up in the beginning of May.
However, that did not happen. And there's a reason for that beyond the fact that I have been working nonstop for the last month.
The simple truth is that I have no idea what the heck to include in the bootcamp. I initially had thought of including some speed seduction, a bit of Mystery's stuff, some ****y & funny, and a few other popular methods.
The only problem is that I don't use that stuff anymore. I've recently come to the conclusion that there's way more misinformation than information in most of these boards. And I know that I'm not the only one who thinks so. Others have discussed this privately. If they wish to present their views here, that would be great. If not, that's fine as well.
Basically, here's my gripe...
1) Most of the methods are more about power and control than about mutual attraction.
2) A lot of the "gurus" seem to think that their way is the only way. Anything else does not work.
3) They are way too complicated. There are literally hundreds of different pieces of techniques to supposedly pick up a chick, and most of those contradict each other. Getting girls should not be on the level of designing a nuclear warhead.
4) Too many rules - most of these systems have all those rules to follow. The only true rule in my opinion is that you produce results, even if you accomplish this by doing everything against the so-called rules.
5) Many of the rules only work in theory. They don't work in the real world.
Now, here are my current thoughts on a lot of stuff that DJs/PUAs believe. You may agree with me, you may disagree with me. That's fine. I am by no means suggesting that my ideas are right, while other ideas are wrong. I'm just suggesting what I've found to be true for me, by trying everything in the field.
DAYS BEFORE CALLING
Forget about waiting 7 days to call. Forget about waiting 5 days, forget about 3 days, forget about 1 day. So when do you call? When you want and when you have time. Believe me guys, if a girl is interested in you, she will not lose interest if you call her the next day, the day after, or a few days later. But I've found that the longer you wait past a few days, that's when her interest starts dropping. Why? Because "out of sight, out of mind." Now, if you're unable to call because you sincerely are busy, then that's understandable. But don't play those foolish games of waiting so many days before calling. All this will do will have her put up the player shield, and have her play her games. Then it becomes a competition of will. And that's sad.
CHALLENGE
The hell with challenge. Waiting so many days to call, canceling dates, pretending your busy when you truly are not - WTF? Believe me guys, she'll see through it. And even if she doesn't, playing hard to get will only work with a small minority of girls.
Instead, ask yourself 'for what purpose?' For what purpose is challenge? The biggest purpose is to convey value. People want something of value, and being a challenge denotes some value, assuming the girl will go along with your games.
But what would happen if instead of setting challenges for her, you truly become a person that everyone wants to associate with. A person who's got his shyt together, people who respect him, friends, the most amazing life. Guess what, she will want to be part of your life. And that motivation will be 10x stronger than any challenge. Actually the fact is that you will have many girls interested in you, and THAT will be the greatest challenge for her.
MYSTERY
Why does mystery work? Because it allows the chick to fill in the blanks. And instead of seeing the guy as banal, which he probably is, she reads more than there is. The hope is by the time she finally sees the real guy, she will have invested so much that she will not want to leave. How sad.
Instead of using mystery to cover our deficiencies, let's build our character, personality, and life in such a way that it is better than her wildest imagination can ever conjure. Take pride in who you are, both your successes and failures, your strengths and your weaknesses. Let's share with the world who we are, and be proud of that!
YOU ARE NOT THE PRIZE
Yup, read that again. You are NOT the prize, and neither is she the prize. Then who the hell is the prize? Both of you are prizes. I don't know which posts are worse, the ones where the guy is ranting about how the girl is such an amazing person and he is not worthy of being in her shadow, or the ones where the guys is screaming that all girls are bytches and should be honored to have a minute of his time.
Both mindsets reek of insecurity. The bottom line is that she is not better than you, and you are not better than her. You are both equal. You are both wonderful. You are both amazing. Let the whole world see themselves as weak and insecure. Instead, put both yourself AND the girl on a pedestal. You are both "10s."
SUPPLICATION
Buying dinner or flowers for a girl is supplication. Complimenting a girl is supplication. Telling a girl you like her is supplication -- bullshyt!
I'll tell you this, if you want to buy flowers for a girl, then do so. If you want to pay for the date, then do so. If you want to compliment her, then do so. None of this is supplication! If the girl likes you, she'll like you after you give her flowers or paying for the date. If she doesn't like you, then buying her dinner or flowers will not make her like you any more than before.
Supplication is changing yourself to give the girl the appearance that you are someone you are not, just to get something out of her (this includes her liking you). I'm not saying that you shouldn't change -- because you either change or you die. Instead what I am saying is all this on how to behave to get the chick to like you is junk.
Now, guess what. If you pay for the date, and the chick doesn't sleep with you, then you have no right to get upset. Why? Because what you do, you should do so because it makes you happy, regardless of the chick's reactions or actions. You paid for dinner because you wanted to. Period. You're not doing anything for her because you want something from her and hoping that you can "bribe" her, but rather because you want to do so.
COMPLIMENTS
The worst thing that I did for my game was when I stopped complimenting girls. And the reason I complimented wasn't because of the results that I would get, but rather because complimenting people makes me happy. Simple as that!
The problem that I find with the way most guys compliment, is that they don't honestly believe that they are a prize. And the compliment looks more like idol worship, than being raising someone to your level.
Instead, I see myself as being on a pedestal. And my goal is to have everyone I come in contact with, including ugly chicks and guys, raise to my level. So yes, I do put girls on a pedestal. Very few girls actually believe that they are 10s. This is especially true of those girls that neg-hits are designed to work on. Think about it. If they truly are a 10, then how the hell is a neg-hit supposed to lower that? It doesn't. The reason they work is because the chicks know deep inside that this whole thing is just a facade, and they're pretending to be a 10, when they know inside that they're less than the average person.
So you want her to like you? Simple. Instead of throwing a neg-hit to bring her down from her false pedestal, raise her on a real pedestal. Let her see that she truly is a 10. This is the essence of charm. Raise people to new heights... raise them to your level. See the magic, the wonder, the beauty in every person you come across. Let them realize the potential inside them.
And don't reserve this for HBs, only. Instead, make everyone you meet feel like they are special. Let me ask you this question. When was the last time you flirted with a 70 year old woman? No, I didn't say sleep with a 70 year old woman, but just flirt with her, and make her feel like a 20 year old vixen.
If you haven't, then you don't know the amazing rush of making someone feel better about themselves than they have in years. Imagine the experience of seeing someone's eyes light up, their whole soul just singing. And besides, those grandmothers are the most fun, and you will be shocked at what comes out of their mouths - they have absolutely no inhibition.
I remember not too long ago, I was at a lounge and there was this senior citizen sitting there by herself. Most of her family was on the dance floor or talking with other people. I went and started to flirt with her, trying to convince her to fly away with me to Europe so we could elope and make passionate love. Obviously she knew that I was joking around. But if only you could see the happiness on her face. Guess what? All the other girls in the club saw it, and they came up to me that evening, not vice-versa.
A few days ago, one of the guys on this board who has my phone # called me up and asked me what is the status of the Advanced DJ Boot Camp. As some of you may remember, I had posted that I would have it together and start up in the beginning of May.
However, that did not happen. And there's a reason for that beyond the fact that I have been working nonstop for the last month.
The simple truth is that I have no idea what the heck to include in the bootcamp. I initially had thought of including some speed seduction, a bit of Mystery's stuff, some ****y & funny, and a few other popular methods.
The only problem is that I don't use that stuff anymore. I've recently come to the conclusion that there's way more misinformation than information in most of these boards. And I know that I'm not the only one who thinks so. Others have discussed this privately. If they wish to present their views here, that would be great. If not, that's fine as well.
Basically, here's my gripe...
1) Most of the methods are more about power and control than about mutual attraction.
2) A lot of the "gurus" seem to think that their way is the only way. Anything else does not work.
3) They are way too complicated. There are literally hundreds of different pieces of techniques to supposedly pick up a chick, and most of those contradict each other. Getting girls should not be on the level of designing a nuclear warhead.
4) Too many rules - most of these systems have all those rules to follow. The only true rule in my opinion is that you produce results, even if you accomplish this by doing everything against the so-called rules.
5) Many of the rules only work in theory. They don't work in the real world.
Now, here are my current thoughts on a lot of stuff that DJs/PUAs believe. You may agree with me, you may disagree with me. That's fine. I am by no means suggesting that my ideas are right, while other ideas are wrong. I'm just suggesting what I've found to be true for me, by trying everything in the field.
DAYS BEFORE CALLING
Forget about waiting 7 days to call. Forget about waiting 5 days, forget about 3 days, forget about 1 day. So when do you call? When you want and when you have time. Believe me guys, if a girl is interested in you, she will not lose interest if you call her the next day, the day after, or a few days later. But I've found that the longer you wait past a few days, that's when her interest starts dropping. Why? Because "out of sight, out of mind." Now, if you're unable to call because you sincerely are busy, then that's understandable. But don't play those foolish games of waiting so many days before calling. All this will do will have her put up the player shield, and have her play her games. Then it becomes a competition of will. And that's sad.
CHALLENGE
The hell with challenge. Waiting so many days to call, canceling dates, pretending your busy when you truly are not - WTF? Believe me guys, she'll see through it. And even if she doesn't, playing hard to get will only work with a small minority of girls.
Instead, ask yourself 'for what purpose?' For what purpose is challenge? The biggest purpose is to convey value. People want something of value, and being a challenge denotes some value, assuming the girl will go along with your games.
But what would happen if instead of setting challenges for her, you truly become a person that everyone wants to associate with. A person who's got his shyt together, people who respect him, friends, the most amazing life. Guess what, she will want to be part of your life. And that motivation will be 10x stronger than any challenge. Actually the fact is that you will have many girls interested in you, and THAT will be the greatest challenge for her.
MYSTERY
Why does mystery work? Because it allows the chick to fill in the blanks. And instead of seeing the guy as banal, which he probably is, she reads more than there is. The hope is by the time she finally sees the real guy, she will have invested so much that she will not want to leave. How sad.
Instead of using mystery to cover our deficiencies, let's build our character, personality, and life in such a way that it is better than her wildest imagination can ever conjure. Take pride in who you are, both your successes and failures, your strengths and your weaknesses. Let's share with the world who we are, and be proud of that!
YOU ARE NOT THE PRIZE
Yup, read that again. You are NOT the prize, and neither is she the prize. Then who the hell is the prize? Both of you are prizes. I don't know which posts are worse, the ones where the guy is ranting about how the girl is such an amazing person and he is not worthy of being in her shadow, or the ones where the guys is screaming that all girls are bytches and should be honored to have a minute of his time.
Both mindsets reek of insecurity. The bottom line is that she is not better than you, and you are not better than her. You are both equal. You are both wonderful. You are both amazing. Let the whole world see themselves as weak and insecure. Instead, put both yourself AND the girl on a pedestal. You are both "10s."
SUPPLICATION
Buying dinner or flowers for a girl is supplication. Complimenting a girl is supplication. Telling a girl you like her is supplication -- bullshyt!
I'll tell you this, if you want to buy flowers for a girl, then do so. If you want to pay for the date, then do so. If you want to compliment her, then do so. None of this is supplication! If the girl likes you, she'll like you after you give her flowers or paying for the date. If she doesn't like you, then buying her dinner or flowers will not make her like you any more than before.
Supplication is changing yourself to give the girl the appearance that you are someone you are not, just to get something out of her (this includes her liking you). I'm not saying that you shouldn't change -- because you either change or you die. Instead what I am saying is all this on how to behave to get the chick to like you is junk.
Now, guess what. If you pay for the date, and the chick doesn't sleep with you, then you have no right to get upset. Why? Because what you do, you should do so because it makes you happy, regardless of the chick's reactions or actions. You paid for dinner because you wanted to. Period. You're not doing anything for her because you want something from her and hoping that you can "bribe" her, but rather because you want to do so.
COMPLIMENTS
The worst thing that I did for my game was when I stopped complimenting girls. And the reason I complimented wasn't because of the results that I would get, but rather because complimenting people makes me happy. Simple as that!
The problem that I find with the way most guys compliment, is that they don't honestly believe that they are a prize. And the compliment looks more like idol worship, than being raising someone to your level.
Instead, I see myself as being on a pedestal. And my goal is to have everyone I come in contact with, including ugly chicks and guys, raise to my level. So yes, I do put girls on a pedestal. Very few girls actually believe that they are 10s. This is especially true of those girls that neg-hits are designed to work on. Think about it. If they truly are a 10, then how the hell is a neg-hit supposed to lower that? It doesn't. The reason they work is because the chicks know deep inside that this whole thing is just a facade, and they're pretending to be a 10, when they know inside that they're less than the average person.
So you want her to like you? Simple. Instead of throwing a neg-hit to bring her down from her false pedestal, raise her on a real pedestal. Let her see that she truly is a 10. This is the essence of charm. Raise people to new heights... raise them to your level. See the magic, the wonder, the beauty in every person you come across. Let them realize the potential inside them.
And don't reserve this for HBs, only. Instead, make everyone you meet feel like they are special. Let me ask you this question. When was the last time you flirted with a 70 year old woman? No, I didn't say sleep with a 70 year old woman, but just flirt with her, and make her feel like a 20 year old vixen.
If you haven't, then you don't know the amazing rush of making someone feel better about themselves than they have in years. Imagine the experience of seeing someone's eyes light up, their whole soul just singing. And besides, those grandmothers are the most fun, and you will be shocked at what comes out of their mouths - they have absolutely no inhibition.
I remember not too long ago, I was at a lounge and there was this senior citizen sitting there by herself. Most of her family was on the dance floor or talking with other people. I went and started to flirt with her, trying to convince her to fly away with me to Europe so we could elope and make passionate love. Obviously she knew that I was joking around. But if only you could see the happiness on her face. Guess what? All the other girls in the club saw it, and they came up to me that evening, not vice-versa.