My current situation.....can't get past her INNOCENCE

[STR8UP]

Most of you would probably KILL to have a problem like this, but it kinda sucks. I just can't get past her innocence.

She's 21, I'm 31. She's only had ONE boyfriend who is her ONLY sex partner. I've had a few ONS's, a couple of fukk buddies, and several long and short term g/f's. Not to mention the miscellaneous b/j's and such along the way.

We talked last night about cheating. She tells me she's only KISSED ONE OTHER GUY in her life besides her boyfriend. She felt guilty about it and told him it happened.

She is very receptive to petting and snuggling with me, but damn, I feel like it's gonna be a life altering experince for her when I kiss her for the first time. So I've been holding back.

This is one of those rare cases where the chick's interest level is through the roof. She shows up early every time. She went to work this morning with 3 hours sleep from spending time with me last night. She calls me before I'm supposed to call her. I could go on and on.

Now I KNOW for a fact I could get some ass from her, but it would probably be accompanied by her falling HARD and wanting a commitment.

Don't get me wrong, this chick is a looker and she has a great personality. I wouldn't mind spending some time with her. But I don't know if I want to deal with the ramefications. It would be one thing if she were a typical female that pretty much deserves to be played for the kind of sh!t she would put most guys through, but I can't bring myself to fukk her and dump her like that. She's too sweet.

So I'm faced with either:
a) Breaking it off now before any damage is done
b) Getting involved in a LTR
c) Use her
d) Explain that I can't make any promises and let her proceed if she so desires

I'm thinking d. I know that will just make her want me more, but at least I don't have to feel like an ass if sh!t hits the fan.

I've been in this situation in the past and ended up settling into an LTR as a result. I don't know that I wanna go there. I'm having too much fun not being tied down.

 

[Ronin I]

Go for d) dude.

She is an adult after all.

I applaud you for trying to be a good man but you really don't have anything to feel guilty about if you're upfront and honest with her about what you want. Let her make her own decisions.

You think you are in a position of power right now but it is all too easy for the tables to be turned. (Haven't we all seen that happen before?). Besides as innocent as she seems one thing that is predictable about these young girls is that they are unpredictable.

So be true to yourself, honest with her and let the chips fall where they may.

 

[Kwah]

I would go with D dude. The last thing you want is to get yourself trapped in a commitment you dont want. Also you have to ask yourself what kind of man you would be to use her. And if you are enjoying this as much as you say you are then why break it off?

Let her know you dont see it being anything permanent and then let her discover what a real man is while she is with you

 

[SamePendo]

D

Go for D, but, you put it out as a AFC movement, but, knowing you are a big boy (900+ posts) , I suppose you will pull it off DJ-ishly.


Well, you can always use her though!
(joking, dont use her...)

 

[OddTech]

Answer D all the way. With your experience, this shouldn't be a problem. I would like an update after you tell her.

 

[trajhenkhet]

I would go with D. Lord knows their innocence insitgated my ignorance.

 

[Slickster]

AKA Flex had a post on this very subject a while back http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=25268

If I was in your situation the temptation to get a piece of a$$ from this chick would be pretty tough to resist.

However, from what you say she's pretty innocent and I can pretty much guarantee that if you do anything with her she is going to be extremely clingy. She'll want a LTR for sure. From the sounds of it your not into that so you'll end up breaking her heart and in turn adding a whole lot of unneccessary drama into your life.

I've been thru this many times and I'm quite tired of it. Even if you warn her that you're not interested in anything long term she will nod and agree but her actions will be different. My "rule" is that if I'm just looking for some sex I try and stay away from these type of women. Those "nice" girls that you KNOW are going to become clingy just end up being a pain in the A$$.

There are plenty of chicks you can nail with less consequences.

That being said I will say it again. I would probably have a tough time resisting.

 

[iqqi]

you are a good man. i say d, but also if you care about her, also go slow. when she gets too into you, step back and let her breathe. be busy for a week. you shouldn't be rushing anyways, and who knows, maybe you'll end up falling for her.

 

[STR8UP]

I was in the gym tonite thinking about this.

I'm definitely gonna go with d, but ONLY when SHE brings it up. She still technically has a boyfriend. Why stir up sh!t when there isn't even anything there to stir?

Fukk it.

I'm a man, she IS a woman (albeit quite a bit younger). I'm gonna throw down. If she bites, great. If not, I deal with it when the time comes. I have a habit of concocting worst case scenarios for everything.

I have a feeling that AS SOON AS I try to even kiss her I'm gonna get stuck in the middle of some kind of serious discussion. I'd like to avoid that, but oh well, it comes with the territory.

 

[TesuqueRed]

She's already cheating emotionally and physically (did anyone say petting zoo?) Her innocence is one massive, well played and bullet-proof ASD defence.

ASD and then some...

The innocence is probably what she had to wrap daddy and grandpa around her finger learned from the ages of 1 thru 14. Now her innocence is close to wrapping you. At the end of the day--innocence and all--you're wrapped.

Damn she's good.

Str8up--you's in trouble!

 

[ShortyBrown]

*gives STR8UP a hug and a kiss on the cheek for trying to do the right thing*
Geezus, it's spooky how similar the situation is here.
I wish that you were the 31 year old that I got mixed up with. http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=32731
As you can see, I got the "I can't make any promises" speech a little too late. We were also sleeping together, which cemented our bond and made me a little nutty when he took the rug out from under me.
Do it now, you know if you take her to bed before you talk you'll be done like a dinner. Rightnowdamnit.

 

[isotope]

i admire your morals, you ahve my respect.
so i would say to D.

or just be honest and say youre not looking for LTR- be honest and still dump her... this might seem mean but its better than taking advantage if you two have different goals. and your honesty should not make her feel sad about getting dumped

 

[silverwex]

Id go for B man. If it doesnt work out it doesnt work out but at least ya know you tried?

Good luck with what u choose!

 

[STR8UP]

Originally posted by TesuqueRed
She's already cheating emotionally and physically (did anyone say petting zoo?) Her innocence is one massive, well played and bullet-proof ASD defence.

I know MOST women aren't truthful about their sexual escapades. Especially the more experienced ones.

One of my past g/f's was another one of the innocent types. I was only her third b/f and third sex partner. I had no reason to doubt her. She fell for me HARD.

Maybe I'm getting the wool pulled over my eyes and she's fukking different dudes every night of the week, but I'm pretty good at sizing people up and all the signs point to her being everything she claims to be.

I was talking to a friend last night. He was basically saying, "Don't believe what a woman tells you" when it comes to this. Most cases I agree completely. This time my instincts say I SHOULD believe her and that I need to proceed with caution.

 

[SamePendo]

This time my instincts say I SHOULD believe her

If there is someone you must listen to, is yourself. Great luck.

 

[Kwah]

Yeah I hope its going ok Dude. Im going to be nuts busy for the next month and a half so my DJing will be very limited.

 

[htemorp]

Here's an answer for all of this:

Give me her number.

 

[STR8UP]

Originally posted by htemorp
Here's an answer for all of this:

Give me her number.

***-***-****

Damn censor. Oh well, I tried.