My confusion about and realization about women

[Rushie]

I just got out of a bad relationship I am 23 and the girl is 21

the girl I was involved with fits with ambivalent and somewhat avoidant love type.

I was friends with her for about 2 years before I fell in love with her.

Upon falling in love with her I noticed that she shared the same feelings as me.

After confronting her with my feelings I was rebuffed. OK I handled that.

But afterwards she gently hinted that don't trust anything she said before.

And I still could tell by her behavior that she had feelings for me. For example you can tell by the look in the eyes. And I don't mean a spark or something faint. I mean full on. She also got jelous easily.

Now started to treat her nicer than before I noticed she grew more ambivalent. Like she would be annoyed at me and generaly put me down. And only times did I get any sort of affection is either rearly or when I was in danger of leaving or dropping the relationship, or I payed less attention to her.

After about a month of that I got tired and confronted her about everything. She denied ever having feelings for me and could not explain my proof away.

She also said she had another boyfriend now.

So and so she said we shouldn't speak anymore.

Anyway after telling my sad story to my friend at work he told me about how he handled relationship back when he was in the 16-23 age phase.

He noticed that when he started a relationship with a girl at first it's fine but gradualy like within a months time the girls lost interest and started to see him less and less

and he would come off needy when trying to handout with them.

He also had lots of girls who were just his friends. and all those girls complained about their boyfriends and how their boyfriends wouldn't call them or generaly act ambivalent to them. basicaly they were jerks.

now he noticed that all the boyfriends that stayed were jerks while the nice guys wouldn't last a month.

So next time he was with a girl he acted bad to her one day and nice on another.

this way she wasn't too sure if he wanted to be with her.

This actualy worked. being bad to girls actualy worked. they might get fed up and leave but in the end they came back. The trick here is that the girl wanted him more when she wasn't sure if he was hers or not.

Upon hearing this I realized that all my romantic relationship are basicaly this.

At first they like you but over a short period of time they lose interest. and after they lose you they want you again.

My sister is like that . She told me that you want a guy and when you have him and know he won't leave you get bored with him and throw him out. But once he isn't there you want him again.

Also most girls stop doing this after 24 or 25. They start to be able to have normal romantic relationship. without all this manipulation drama.

So my question is there any educated opinions on this.

 

[bp1974]

I liked your post, except for this bit:

Also most girls stop doing this after 24 or 25. They start to be able to have normal romantic relationship. without all this manipulation drama.

If only this were true, but it's not.

Apart from that, it sounds like your friend has it right.

 

[chlywly]

Most all blabla, generalisations... look you didn't fall in love, you simply became highly infatuated with her, she had a princess complex, you of course totaly disregarded that and saw only her cuteness...

Sounds like she's a lying flake.. Let her be Good that you are now single. She's just one of the bad seeds.

 

[DJ_Dork]

I disagree with the age 24-25 thing - Most women start getting more desperate around the ages 27-30 because they're looking to find a man that will marry her , etc. It doesn't mean they won't play games.. most of it stops around age 33+ when their looks cannot win anymore.

 

[Player_Supreme]

Uhh yeah there is total gospel in that. here is a post from another site...excuse all the cussing...just be man enough to over look it:

1. I let her know that I've had better. This will **** them up and make them work harder to please you. ex: 2 of the last *****es I told them that my ex gave the best head. I then told them don't ever try to do that to me. what do you think they always wanted to do after that.


I told them that my ex gave the best massages and they would have to do better. *****es hate to be compared to other *****es and they are competitive as ****.


You don't have to use the phrase my ex: I told one ***** she didn't know how to make love just **** or rutted like a goat. She begged me to teach her how to...Of course I fine tuned this ***** to the way I wanted **** done up in my bed.


2. I pick apart their bodies and their style of dress. Hell *****es do it to men after they land them. I'm just reversing the game.


3. I catch a quick temper at the slightest piece of ****. *****es are use to mutha ****a's bowing down. I don't bow down to no ho'


4. I tweak them into being addicted to me. I do this by being unpredictable. One day I'm nice the next I'm moody and **** on them. They never know what they are getting. There have been studies that shows people do become addicted to unpredictable situations. These studies showed how people who become gambling addicts due to the unpredictableness of gambling. You never know when your up or down. Emotional highs & lows. Ever wonder why abused women stay? and will beat a cop down who trys to take away her man?

QUOTE:

"So next time he was with a girl he acted bad to her one day and nice on another."


Game Lessons

Lesson 1: Never ever underestimate women. When you get into this game you gotta respect their ability to do a man a lotta emotional damage if he allows it. That means a woman can really **** you up if you let that **** happen. Women by their very nature are more deceitful and manipulative than we men could ever hope to be. Don’t be fooled by a pair of sad eye’s bordering on tears. Women are great actors also. Women have learned to be players since childhood, using their looks and or apparent delecateness for personal gain all the while hiding what lie’s within.

Women learn early how to compensate for their lack of physical strength by learning how to dominate things that are intangible. Women learn how to use their minds very well at very early ages. That’s why they almost always get good grades.

They go to war with each other over who is better looking each and every day. Their most potent weapon and biggest weakness is their emotions. Take time to study them. They put everything into their image, and how they are perceived. We all know how much they love shoes, jewelry, or anything that improves their appearance.

You gotta be on top of your game when you start learning to play a natural player. Women are like human lie detectors, and they remember everything that you ever said or blab about. Watch what you say lest it be used against you later on.

Lesson 2: Women’s greatest down fall is their constant need for attention. Your greatest weapon is manipulation applied to her weaknesses. For you aspiring players, macks, pimp-tights if your shy, you better get over that ****. Shyness with women will not serve you in this arena. Most of you have heard women talk about shyness being an attractive quality, well it’s a lie. Women are drawn to aggressive, confident real men types. Shy boys may be cute to women, but real men make their panties get wet with desire. Which do you want.

So how do you use manipulation in the area of attention? Ok you know that they are crazy obsessed with their images. Take advantage here. Your approach as I’ve learned is the real key. You gotta be calm and reserved, confident with your mouth piece and manner. Your whole aura should draw her in to how manly you are. When I say manly I don’t mean being a ******* type. I mean being in control, cool, confident. James Bond like.

Never approach a woman (with your hat in your hand, stuttering and hemming and hawing, shuffling your feet trying to look shy and cute) that means putting her up on a pedistal and worshiping her cause she is pretty. Just cause she is fine don’t start sweating and getting all worked up over it. Pretty is a dime a dozen and you deserve a pound of it for every life year you’ve lived.


Now some fools have ******* and a jerk confused. There is no such thing as a Jerk. A Jerk is someone who exhibits the following qualities:

The Jerk has:

1. his pleasure comes first
2. he will quickly dump a woman who gives him trouble
3. doesn’t suck up to women or put them on pedestals
4. doesn’t let women or people disrespect him.
5. Gets pissed off and isn’t afraid to show it
6. Aren’t afraid to hurt women emotionally.
7. Doesn’t care what others think about him and isn’t looking for approval.

It’s women who complain about a man being a jerk. And this is because he is un-tame-able.

And women love this shyt. As you've learned!

So now keep spreading the new's to all the pleebs on here who want to supplicate and be all nicey nicey.

You can have the above qualities just don't be an *******...there is a difference.

 

[Trogdawg]

Player summed up a lot of things for you Rushie. I'd print it out so you can look back on it when you feel like buying her something. Or start getting weak because a girl doesn't like you anymore. It's all about control. Basically remember one line about relationships and you'll be much more successful. "The one who cares least about the relationship, controls the relationship."

 

[Player_Supreme]

I believe this is from DYD newsletter. I pulled it out of my mailbag file of emailed news letters from different places:

Have you ever noticed that:

1) The most attractive and interesting women seem to be
attracted to men who don't treat them very well?

2) That the "nicer" you are to a woman the more she often
seems to act like "just a friend" to you?

What's going on here? Didn't mom say to be "nice" to
girls?

Here's the deal: Women aren't usually romantically
attracted to "nice" guys. Women are attracted to men who
are funny, confident, and mysterious. Good looks don't
hurt, but if you're not 6'4" tall and model-handsome, then
you have to learn how to attract women with your
personality.

And being "nice" isn't going to do it for you.

Awhile back, I mentioned an interesting book that was
written about the band "Motley Crue". Remember those
guys?

Well, the book is called "The Dirt: Confessions of the
Worlds Most Notorious Rock Band." As I read through that
book, I realized that these guys have dated more of the
world's most attractive women than anyone (except maybe
Hugh Hefner).

In case you didn't know, the guys in Motley Crue are
not very "nice". They're famous for taking every drug
known to man, beating their women, fighting, and having a
lot of people die around them.

Now, the first thing most guys say is "Yea, but they're
rich and famous..."

And this is true, they are rich and famous. But, and
it's a BIG ONE... all of the women that they have dated,
married, and beaten up are ALSO RICH AND FAMOUS TOO!

These are supermodels and playmates of the year and
such. These women can date whoever they want. Tommy Lee
was MARRIED to both Heather Locklear AND Pamela
Anderson... remember?

These women didn't need Tommy Lee for his money or his
fame... they're dating these guys for some OTHER REASON!

Are you with me on this?

So what's going on here? And more importantly, how can
you use this information to be more successful with women
and dating?

First of all, don't go out and start taking drugs and
beating up your dates. I mean, I know that an occasional
woman will drive a man to drink, but I don't recommend
going "Motley Crue" on a girl... lol.



I believe:

1) Women make decisions very, very quickly about whether
a man is going to be "just a friend" or if he has romantic
potential, and once her decision is made, it's probably
going to stay made.

2) These decisions are made "unconsciously", meaning that
women make all of them quickly and at a "gut level".

3) If you know how, you make her feel attraction feelings
rather than "friend" feelings.

4) The way to do it is to stop acting "nice" and start
acting, well... something else... and I don't mean "not
nice".

So what DOES attract women? And how do you do it
exactly?

Good questions...

At the beginning, I mentioned three qualities: Funny,
Confident, and Mysterious.

Before I talk about each, I first have to remind you
that WOMEN DON'T USUALLY MAKE SENSE. Remember that.

Here's a good metaphor: Remember when you learned to
drive? It all made sense... turn the wheel left and go
left, turn it right and go right...

But do you remember when you learned to back up?
Backing up is a whole new game. Everything that used to
work now works in a different way. At first you feel
disoriented. Turn the wheel left and go right... and you
have to learn how to maneuver with the back wheels
staying straight while the front wheels turn... all
with your head turned around.

For most people, this takes some time and practice.
But once you "get it" then you can do it anytime you want.

Well, women are very similar. At first it's very
confusing. You have to try things that don't seem to make
sense. But once you get the hang of it, then you see how
it works and can make it work... just like backing up a
car.

As much as many women would hate to admit it, there's
something very attractive about a man who is just a little
more confident than he should be. And if you combine this
with the right amount of humor, you have a magic
combination that will charm almost any woman.

Here are a few ways to use this idea:

1) When you first meet a woman, tease her about something.
It doesn't what it is, as long as you do it early on. For
instance, you might say: "So what's with the big purse?
Are you carrying a gun in there?" or maybe "Those are some
pretty tall shoes, what are you like 4' tall without
them?" If you tease a woman, it shows that you're not
intimidated by her, and that you have a fun sense of humor.
Key: Make sure you say something FUNNY. If you don't know
how to be funny, get a book on it. The test: If she's not
laughing, then it wasn't funny!

2) Look around at other things and seem kind of
pre-occupied when you first start talking to her. Make
your funny remarks with a carefree, detached tone. You
want to sound like you're talking to your best friend.
Attractive women are approached all the time. It's not
attractive to a woman when you look like you've just met
Madonna. This "just a little too confident" attitude is
very attractive to women... especially when it's combined
with humor.

3) Don't answer her questions directly. Women love to ask
questions like: "What do you do?" and "Where do you live?"
and "Tell me about your family". Answer with funny
answers, and don't give her what she wants. Most guys
say "Oh, I'm an engineer" or "I'm a stock broker". BORING,
BORING. If she asks what you do, say "Oh, funny you should
ask. I'm a Calvin Klein Underwear Model... What do you
do?..." (This is especially funny if it's OBVIOUS that you
are NOT a model) Do you get it? Keep it up and keep her
laughing.

 

[Player_Supreme]

And finally, since I am re-organizing my files for another site here is another one of my (long assed)posts:


I’m going to talk about attraction in this posting and how to make a woman feel that “gut level” attraction to you. Let me state 3 things before I break it down for you:

1. Sometimes attraction isn’t a matter of choice.
2. Sometimes what makes folks attracted to each other doesn’t make sense.
3. If you know how you can make a woman “feel” more attracted to you everytime you have contact with her.

Now I need to too suspend your judgement for a few moments and keep reading and soaking up some game. Then try this ****. You will be surprised at how this stuff will open doors for you.

Rule number 1: NEVER GIVE A HO WHAT SHE WANTS!

Have you noticed that when women get what they want they stop wanting it? What this means is that women catch a guy, they start wanting to trade up to a fool with a higher status or makes more money or whatever their secret desire in men happens to be.

One author of a popular ebook on dating sited this as a evolutionary quirk that keeps people constantly moving forwards and achieving more from life. All people have this quirk. Look at when someone buys a new car, then they start thinking about trading up after the newness has warn off.

Now apply this to women and you get: Never give her exactly what she wants and you will always keep her head spinning trying to get it. What women want is to conquer you, and symp you out to see if your man enough to handle her. That is why I find out what turns a woman’s key and then I use that to keep her motivated.

This also apply’s to everything and every contact you have with a woman. If your going out and she wants you to pick her butt up at 6:00pm, you come back and say I will pick you up at 6:30pm. Yeah it’s that deep. Never give her EXACTLY what she wants

If a woman tries to kiss you say “what am I going to get in return” this idea was taken from a popular ebook on dating. I will be sharing it with you fella's real soon.

When you do this ****, remember to stay cool and calm. And decide to do something different instead of giving into the kiss. You don’t wanna come across as some *******. What you want to do is train her to accept your direction. You also don’t wanna seem argumentative, your too cool for that type of baby ****.

What you are setting up is the behavior of doing **** your way and being unpredictable. Believe me this will nut the woman up and amp up her interest in you. She will work harder to try to conquer you. Remember they are programmed to seek out dominant males to breed with.

Ok here is a psychology tip for you. We humans are attracted to things that frustrate us and seem interesting. Remember the popularity of the Rubics Cube? When a woman come across a person who seems interesting and doesn’t give you exactly what you want you begin to think about them all the time. It will become an obsessive challenge in most women to see if they can get you to give in to them and stop resisting them.

DON’T MU THA FUC KIN DO IT! Your goal is to keep up her interest level and control her behavior. It’s like the carrot and the stick. Keep her but working hard to keep you.

 

[Thoroughbred]

Playa Supreme,

one problem i've always had is some shyness... i am trying hard as hell to get rid of it, but i am essentially an introvert... i wish i wasn't at all.

 

[Rushie]

Yea it more or less makes sence now. thanks guys.
As for Thoroughbread try to articulate your shyness
I studied psychology and am somewhat well versed in social phobia.

By the way this site is worth it's weight in gold, for the information here is really what everyman always wanted.

 

[Thoroughbred]

Basically

If a girl is exactly my kind, I tend to get somewhat nervous around her, but that is normal. Besides that I tend to be a thinker, I think a lot before I take any action. Also I can be very self conscious at times. I don't know about social phobia, that is a little extreme.

 

[Rushie]

OK you're problems seems to be normal.
Some people have generalized social phobia which is a specific shyness that is more chemical than psychological, in fact you can't get rid of it without a psychotropic pill( I forgot the name)
the whole exersize about aproaching people until you're not shy no more doesn't work with it. in fact it gets worse. alcohol or extasy might help you with it.
So for some reason I asumed you might have it. But I guess I was wrong

 

[Thoroughbred]

That is an extreme form of shyness that I don't think many people have. I've always been somewhat shy and I'm not very social. A bit of a loner I would say.