My confidence is being completely destroyed from premature ejaculation. Please help.

[FigureITout]

Hey all,

Unfortunately ive been stuck struggling with PE ever since the first time Ive had sex. I currently don't have a gf, but had one in high school which resulted in a breakup mainly because the sex was just a total screw up. Every single time, I found myself only being able to last for MAYBE a minute or two. I know that sounds crazy, but I literally get the urge to cvm like no other, extremely fast, and I can't control it for the life of me. Unfortunately its not out of the ordinary for me to last under 20 seconds.

On top of that, I've had two different sex buddies so far in college and after having sex with each a few times, I don't even talk to or see either of the girls any more. What went wrong? As usual, I could barely hold my load and it wound up leaving the girl very frustrated and myself embarrassed every single time.

Yes, I have tried kegels. I've even done them during school every single day for nearly 4-5 months, and STILL I have the same exact problem. And no, it is not in my head, because I've even gone through mental exercises before in an attempt to clear my mind, relax, stay calm, and I still get the same unfortunate results.

This is absolutely KILLING my confidence. Every time in college when im hooking up with a chick and know that I can probably get her in bed, the first thing that runs through my mind is that embarrassed face after im guaranteed to cvm after a minute or two.

Ive only been able to hold my load a couple times before, and those have all been under instances where I've been drunk from alcohol. Even then, I'll still have problems because theres a chance I wont be able to get a boner from the alcohol (some call it whiskey d*ck).

Anyways, at this point im willing to try anything. And I mean anything. Whether it comes to maybe having to get surgery one day, or taking some kind of drugs, just please hit me with all options that might possibly help fix this problem of mine.

I'm starting to get extremely worried by this also because I feel like if I do meet a keeper some day, I won't be able to actually keep her simply because the sex will not be anywhere near up to par what she wants. I know for a fact that not a single girl in the world enjoys getting all horny and rowdy, just to have her man nut in under a minute and ruin all the fun.

Like I said, I'm very embarrassed by this, its become by far my biggest insecurity, and has a gotten to a point where I will simply not advance further on a girl simply because I know I won't be able to hold it in bed.

From the bottom of my heart, please try to help me with this and provide some helpful responses. Thank you.

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

I admit, even mighty Seizeher went through some of PE back in college.

It's hard not to, you're surrounded by smoking hot ass all day long and all you want to do is fvck.

My cure for PE usually involved whiskey, pot, and a rubber.

But I gotta say man, it's also in your head. Forget about the fear of PE and you will forget to PE.

 

[Voice]

Dude I get the same problem. It's like my d1cks extremely sensitive or something. Anyway what works for me is after you *** inside her wait like 10 minutes, get hard again and fvck her again. I guarantee you last longer this time. You could even try to continue to fvck her after you ***, I heard of some guys who are able to do this. Or you could try to jerk off before fvcking so that it takes longer to ***. You could wear a thick condom like a durex. Some antidepressants can help with this. SSRI's like paxil, lexapro, zoloft actually have a side effect of anorgasmia.

Really it's all in your head. The more you think about it, the more it will happen. Also I heard that missionary position can cause this because it tenses up your muscles. Other positions where you are more relaxed makes it less likely that you will *** so fast. There is always the stop and go technique.

 

[Die Hard]

I'm not sure you can really "solve" the problem as in making it go away completely but I guess you can limit the problem. I don't last long myself, mostly 5 to 10 minutes or so. I've found only two "solutions":

1. Change positions often. Everytime you change position, your d!ck gets a little break, a short while of not being stimulated and once you start fukking again it's like he gets a fresh start. It doesn't make a huge difference but it helps a little bit and every little bit counts, right?

2. Thrust slower. The faster you thrust, the faster you'll cvm, so try to do it at a slower pace. When the girl starts moving too fast, don't be afraid to slow her down. Don't feel guilty or insecure about that, you're the man, you take charge and you decide at what pace you two are fukking, goddamnit! Hahaha. Of course you can't go too slow, the sex won't be any fun then... But just try to slow it down as much as is possible, without making the sex boring.

You can also try to insert short periods of slow fukking, you fukk at a good pace overall but now and then you just suddenly slow down and do it very slowly. Girls often even like that, it gives them a different sensation, and your d!ck gets a little break again.


Hope this is any help to you. Neither "solution" makes a huge difference but at least it's something!

 

[jtlancer]

At least some of how quickly things happen relates to the
level of histamines in your body. So avoiding allergens as well
as supplementing with natural anti-histamines may help. Vitamin
C is pretty good in this regard as is Rutin/Quercetin. Do some
research and see what works for you.

 

[loveshogun]

Talk to your doctor about it. He/she may be able to prescribe you some desensitizing drugs (or placebo).

Either way, PE is very much a mental thing. I used to get really anxious too, and that would result in either limp d*ck or PE, and then I would get even more anxious.

It helps, also, to practice with girls who are cool and won't be d*cks about it. Find some f*ck buddies who are easy-going and are willing to lend a hand. Ha!

After I discovered that most girls are willing to stick with it for the long haul (I'm talking 4 hours long marathons), that fixed the problem right up.

From what I've read, heard, talked about, and understood from experience, it's a mental thing. You have to stop worrying about it.

Practical advice for now - try rubbing a few out before dates, and definitely engage in longer foreplay.

 

[Lexington]

Try PC exercises. Look them up. You want to strengthen your pubococcygeus muscle (the same muscle you use to stop the flow of urine). Exercise it daily. Also, you need to practice the stop and go technique. Next time you decide to whack the weasel, pay close attention to when you approach climax, then stop. Repeat this process all the time.

When the point of sex becomes the orgasm, it's very easy to have a premature ejaculation. You should to try and enjoy the moments BEFORE the ejaculation. Make that the purpose of sex in your mind. The orgasm is just the sensation that signals the end of lovemaking. Remember, the longer you delay gratification, the better the ultimate reward!

 

[davewe]

In addition to the PC exercises, study tantra. There are a number of techniques to develop "orgasmic mastery." Check out Amazon for several excellent books on the subject.

Try PC exercises. Look them up. You want to strengthen your pubococcygeus muscle (the same muscle you use to stop the flow of urine). Exercise it daily. Also, you need to practice the stop and go technique. Next time you decide to whack the weasel, pay close attention to when you approach climax, then stop. Repeat this process all the time.

When the point of sex becomes the orgasm, it's very easy to have a premature ejaculation. You should to try and enjoy the moments BEFORE the ejaculation. Make that the purpose of sex in your mind. The orgasm is just the sensation that signals the end of lovemaking. Remember, the longer you delay gratification, the better the ultimate reward!

 

[PokerInTheRear]

Had this a bit in my younger years too... Now it takes mr forever sometimes. It seems to me the more sex you have, you relax about it and the issue goes away on its own.

Rubbers also make it more difficult for me. I do agree most of these issues originate in your head. Slow and steady now... be the boner

The answer is getting older and having more sex Or, just imagine your harpooning a whale...

 

[Mike32ct]

Try the extra strength type condoms. The extra thickness will dull the sensation so you can last longer.

Also, rub one out before the girl comes over.

 

[LuisGarcia10]

.....

 

[Voice]

Durex and Trojan actually make condoms that have a numbing agent in them that will make you last longer. You should try them. I think it's called extended pleasures or climax control. I've never used them but they get good reviews.

 

[BigJimbo]

I admit, even mighty Seizeher went through some of PE back in college.

It's hard not to, you're surrounded by smoking hot ass all day long and all you want to do is fvck.

My cure for PE usually involved whiskey, pot, and a rubber.

But I gotta say man, it's also in your head. Forget about the fear of PE and you will forget to PE.

Moy drug (My friend), you would still suffer from this if you were in Ukraine. When I am 55 I will still feel like it was my first day at the hottest school on earth. Did you you guys know that letterman jackets are in vogue outside of America? I have one. I bought a Hugo Boss Orange one as a birthday gift to myself. I feel like a stud. I score two touchdowns and have the game saving tackle every time I slip it on. Like Charlie Sheen in that s----y movie "Lucas". Only difference is I get hot girls.

http://media.photobucket.com/image/ovechkin moscow/Brushback/Ovechkin_DG.jpg
As we see here, the best hockey player on the planet sports a letterman style D&G jacket. Great minds think alike.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SO-3GnL0vKI
Ovechkin and I wear the jacket better than this loser. I swear I would knock Lucas off his bike. That is what studs do. Right?

 

[PokerInTheRear]

I am by no means suggesting that this is a good option, but you said you are willing to try ANYTHING. And for me this is the most fun way of making it easy.

In the past I used to do drugs, stuff like coke etc. I always found that the night after NOT THE NIGHT WHILST ON THEM, but the night after, I could keep it up for ages and not *** for ages, as I used to have the same problem as you did, I don't any more.

Not suggesting it's a good idea, but if you're looking for a quick fix....

You didn't just recommend the kid use coke to control his PE?! Jumpin geezus on a pogo stick!

While you're at it, why not kidnap a hooker that no one will miss to practice on until you get things under control... Be sure to rob a bank first so you have the means to feed the hooker (who will most likely be hungry from all the sex). Oh, and be sure to shoot her pimp dead before you take her - you don't want him looking for you. Oh yeah, if you need a gun, just cold-**** a cop as he walks past and take it from him.

Good luck.

 

[Bluntmaster]

Just get some of these and you will never bust a nut with one on:

 

[Just a Shot Away]

Moy drug (My friend), you would still suffer from this if you were in Ukraine. When I am 55 I will still feel like it was my first day at the hottest school on earth. Did you you guys know that letterman jackets are in vogue outside of America? I have one. I bought a Hugo Boss Orange one as a birthday gift to myself. I feel like a stud. I score two touchdowns and have the game saving tackle every time I slip it on. Like Charlie Sheen in that s----y movie "Lucas". Only difference is I get hot girls.

http://media.photobucket.com/image/ovechkin moscow/Brushback/Ovechkin_DG.jpg
As we see here, the best hockey player on the planet sports a letterman style D&G jacket. Great minds think alike.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SO-3GnL0vKI
Ovechkin and I wear the jacket better than this loser. I swear I would knock Lucas off his bike. That is what studs do. Right?

The f.uck is wrong with you, dude?

 

[loveshogun]

Ti gavarish pa russki, BigJimbo? Ya lublyu ukrainskikh devochek.

I need to work on my Russian.

 

[squirrels]

I admit, even mighty Seizeher went through some of PE back in college.

It's hard not to, you're surrounded by smoking hot ass all day long and all you want to do is fvck.

My cure for PE usually involved whiskey, pot, and a rubber.

But I gotta say man, it's also in your head. Forget about the fear of PE and you will forget to PE.

This.

If I say to you, "whatever you do, DON'T you DARE think of a blue elephant"...what's the first thing you think of?

Likewise if you tell yourself, "Don't cvm yet, PLEASE don't cvm yet..." what do you think will happen?

Premature ejac is an anxiety-based response. You get so excited/anxious about the idea of being up inside a girl, about "performing well", about not screwing it up and getting made fun of, that your sympathetic nervous system goes into overdrive. Which ironically enough is exactly what triggers the ejaculatory response.

I've had some problems with "stay-power" myself. Let me give you what I know/have heard...

- First of all, PE for me is largely a result of not taking the time to get used to a "new girl". You've always got that monkey on your back, "gotta perform, or she'll dump me for someone who can". Look at it this way, though...if she's worth a damn, she'll usually understand that sometimes with a new girl, the first time, it might be "over quick". If she's not, you just wanna f**k her and get your rocks off ANYWAY. Lots of guys always have the anxiety because the first time they're like, "gotta perform...gotta perform..." and then the next time instead of relaxing about it, they're like, "last one sucked...gotta do better....gotta do better..." Get what I'm saying? Just don't sweat it. Laugh about it if you have to. I joke about it sometimes.

- Use the foreplay to warm a girl up. If you cvm instantly, it's not a bad thing if SHE cvms instantly too. Warm her up first...really learn to stimulate her body. Learn to eat pvssy like a champ and honestly, she won't even care after 3 or 4 rolling orgasms if you pop in 30 seconds. If she gets hers, she'll forgive you for PE, giving you a chance to once again calm down and stop putting so much pressure on yourself.

- If you have high anxiety NATURALLY in life, talk to your doc about some SSRIs. Delayed orgasm is a known side-effect of drugs like Prozac...and if you have high social anxiety they may even you out. I'm not endorsing "better living through chemistry", but some people like to try it.

- Alcohol has worked wonders for me. About 3-4 drinks in (in that magic .07/.08 range) is usually where I "perform" the best. Much less isn't gonna do anything, much more and you won't be able to control at ALL...you'll either go limp or just pop instantly.

- Use the orgasm to your advantage. If you know you're gonna be going out on a date where you MAY get laid, "take a bullet out of the chamber"...masturbate to orgasm earlier in the evening. When the act starts, you can always get her to suck you off, then go down on her while you "recover for round 2"...and you will last much longer then. Which brings me to...

- F*CK girls you're ATTRACTED to. If you're with a girl that you're kind of 50/50 on f*cking (maybe you could, maybe you couldn't), you'll naturally want to get it over with quickly and then your d!ck won't work for you afterward. If you're attracted enough to her, or horny enough, you'll find you're able to get it up 2 or 3 times...and each progressive time, you'll last longer. This girl I've been f*cking, first time, I barely got up inside of her before I came. This last Sunday, I'm sitting there staring at my wang as I f*ck her, thinking, "damn, this is GREAT! I could do this all night!"

- Don't put unrealistic expectations on yourself. Next time you watch a porno online on YouPorn or something, look at the video time from when the dude first penetrates the girl to when he finally finishes. Chances are it lasts only 10-20 minutes altogether. And these guys are professionals. The average guy only lasts about 5. I'm sure everyone on SoSuave will respond to this talking about how they're all "marathon men", but the truth is...they're not. And here's another thing you might not know...most women after 10-15 minutes get so raw that f*cking doesn't even DO anything for them any more.

- Also understand that there's no "timer" on your c*ck. Just because you only lasted 5 minutes one time doesn't mean the next time you should expect the same performance...it varies according to your body condition. Try f*cking in the morning or afternoon, instead of at night. Or after strenuous physical activity, when your body is more relaxed and the anxiety isn't quite so strong.

- Also try different positions. I find that doggystyle often makes me last longer. In missionary, my balls slapping against the girl's ass usually speeds things along, and with her on top, she's usually grinding so hard on my hips that the stimulation altogether is overwhelming. Slow it down a little and use short strokes, then lengthen it out as you get "used" to her. Use a position change as an excuse to take a break.

- I've heard a lot of people say they can "hold back" their orgasm by strengthening their pelvic floor/PC muscles. I've tried it a few times, but I haven't been able to hold it all back in the end. Maybe I'm just not strong enough yet...but there are resources there if you know where to look.

Bottom line...JUST DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. The more you worry about cvmming quickly, the quicker you're going to cvm.

There's all kinds of little mental tricks out there...

Try the old "think about football" trick. And I don't mean just think about football, I mean put yourself on the field, with playcalling and full-on color commentary.

Or one other thing you can try...get FREAKY with her...smack her ass and call her a dirty slvt while you f*ck her. TRY to cvm...just get brutal on it. You'll be half-intense, half-laughing at yourself, and won't really be able to get off.

Once you get past the idea of having sex and actually start to put yourself in the moment instead of getting swept away by it, THAT'S what you're aiming for. There's a psychological stigma that comes with f*cking a girl, that, "Oh my God I'm f*cking her! I'm f*cking her!!"...that drives the anxiety-level through the roof. Once you get over that and f*cking becomes a natural thing for you, when you start thinking of yourself as a "guy who f*cks" instead of "a guy who doesn't f*ck who got lucky tonight", it'll help./

 

[rtrev64]

weird but with one girl whom I consider the hottest one, I could not last for a few minutes but with the average looking one but very fvckable I made her *** 4 times, multiple orgs..