My confession:

[squirrels]

I have reached a point where I have to admit something to myself and everyone else...I SUCK WITH WOMEN.

DJ philosophy or not, I cannot get or keep high-caliber women. I know a lot of noobs see me post and think, "Damn, he knows what he's talking about." I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING. Even with this site at my disposal, I have no knowledge of how women operate, nor do I have any ability to attain them.

I thought maybe I had improved after all my successes last summer, but since then I have been a constant failure with women, to the point where I'm starting to think that those prior successes were just dumb luck.

This isn't just with women, either. This is something that seems to carry over into EVERY aspect of my life. I'm guessing what I'm supposed to be doing at every turn. I don't feel like I'm living, just surviving...and that's what it feels like with women too. I can hold conversations now, flirt, dance with, get close to women, but I'm not CONNECTING with any of them.

And I have NO idea how to change this.

I feel like Ed Norton's character in Fight Club. I honestly want to just go out somewhere and fight people, just to feel alive again. Just to get close to death and feel some passion about living. People make me sick. Working all day in cubicles so we can buy houses and cars and then go get drunk on the weekends and try in vain to pick up women so we can forget about the meaninglessness of our lives for a while.

People make me sick...and I'm one of them.

But I don't know where to go. And I don't know how to get out of this little cage I've built for myself, or where I'd go if I COULD escape. They say when you take a goldfish out of a bowl and throw it in a lake, it'll continue to swim around within a bowl-sized area of that lake because it's become so accustomed to that it doesn't know any better.

That's how I feel, in the back of my mind...like I'm trapped in this bowl, I don't know how to break out, and, assuming I coudl breathe once I got out, I feel like I'd just be swimming in the same circle over and over and over again, re-discovering the same stinking plastic castle again and again.

Average Frustrated Chump? No, I'm a Deeply Frustrated Chump. An INSANELY Frustrated Chump. I look deep inside myself for the answer to the question, "What do I do next?" But the answer just isn't there. I don't have it. So I make it up from one day to the next based on what other people do.

That's my deal. Maybe this is beyond SoSuave's capacity to help. I just don't know what to do any more, though. I want to lose my mind, just to make sure I still have a mind to lose.

 

[slipstreamer83]

I think that you have serious self-image issues. Don´t worry about it, we have all had them.

Maybe you have other major problems in your life that do not have to do with women. Maybe problems that you are not aware that they exist. I recommend you to take some time thinking about this: What problems do I have that prevent me from being happy?

And I´m not talking about women here. First you have to be happy enough without ANYBODY.

Once you have identified your problems, ask yourself: what can I do to solve them? Always with a positive attitude.

If you can´t solve your personal problems, I recommend you to visit a psychologist. It´s not a crime. I do it at the moment. She is helping me to solve my personal problems, and once I have solved them I see a buch of possibilities in front of me, including women.

Good luck mate!!

 

[iqqi]

squirrels, you'll be aiiight.

 

[atlantis]

love might help, under certain circumstances.

 

[ManOMan]

Squirrels,

Ive read alot of your advice, and most of it is pretty darn good. So yes, I think you DO know what you are talking about THEORETICALLY.

you sound like you are in a slump (we have all been there)

Id like to know exactly what area you are grappling with when you say I SUCK WITH WOMEN

is it the introduction phase? the rapport? phone numbers? dates? follow through?

if you could tell us exactly where your trouble area is maybe we can give you some advice for a change

I see you give alot of advice, yet I rarely see you asking questions to improve your game? and let me tell you, giving advice all day (although commendable) is not going to help you any with your OWN game

so spill the beans

 

[iqqi]

he just isn't excited about life, he is tired and lethargic, and it comes through when he gets around girls. he is devoid of energy (all kinds), so he has nothing to offer at the moment. he is the equivalent of a large black hole in space, sucking up the universe's energy.

but he'll be aiiight. happens to most. they call it growing pains. there was a tv sitcom named after the concept.

 

[ManOMan]

ikki please stick with topics you are well versed in - Nothing

since when does a black hole suck up energy?

and isnt that presumptuous of you to say squirrels has nothing to offer at the moment?

this will probably lead to senseless drivel, but what exactly do YOU have to offer a guy, that Squirrels cant offer a girl??

 

[iqqi]

i'm not bustin on squirrels. just read his posts, hell, im sure he'll even admit it. he is devoid of energy at the moment and no fun to be around whatsoever. he'll confirm, i'd wager. he's definately not in denial.

and this isn't about me. i don't have the same problems as squirrels. i am doing very well in the opposite sex area, if you MUST know.

peace.

 

[ManOMan]

Id feel very sorry for you if you were female and NOT doing well with the opposite sex. And if you were doing so well, you'de have a boyfriend by now and spending quality time with him and not on some male forum trying to figure out what makes men "tick"

Ive seen women with triple thick milkshake asses with boyfriends. Whats your excuse? let me guess, you are too picky.

and there you go again, what makes you think he is no fun to be around?

just because he expressed that he isnt doing well with women at the moment doesnt imply he isnt fun to be around or has nothing to offer a woman

 

[gentleman193]

He's a philosopher. They learn from observation but abstain from action. Therefore they lose faith in their own arguments and end up writing cynical crapola to get attention. I think he's a perfect match for Eileen, actually

Trans-atlantic chatroom love matches aside, though, the antidote is a philosophical one: read Steppenwolf. A meta-physical one: read Nietzsche. A physical one: hit the gym. And an obvious one: approach women.

Sound familiar, squirrels? It's your own advice . . . thank me later -- in your next field report.

 

[Eileen]

Originally posted by ManOMan
since when does a black hole suck up energy?

Since always actually. They suck up light, light is energy ...

That aside …

- Squirrels get off your butt and go find some hobbies you enjoy. Start doing things that interest you. Along the way you'll become a more interesting person and probably meet some people who you find interesting. One of them might be a girl. If not, at least you're spending time doing something you enjoy.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Squirrels,

How about focusing on other things that make you happy, and not dwell on women, pickin' up, and the game. Take a little vacation and do other things that make you happy. You sound like you're a little burned out. The more you pull back, the more you'll start to attract the things that belong to you. Its one of those universal laws.

Remember, women are just here to supplement the rich, happy life you are already living. They are not to fill, or complement and fullfill your life.

If women are starting to just drag you down, and complicate your life rather than improve it, then what you are currently doing is not working. Step back, recharge the battery, and figure out what it is that will make you happy.

 

[iqqi]

the reason i am saying what i am saying about squirrels is because i follow his posts, so i know whats up. unless you too are doing this, fcuk off.

we keep giving squirrels the same advice. over and over. there are like 8 of these same posts by squirrel, one like every month. the advice is solid, but obviously not right for him. or he'd be "cured".

i think he just needs to succumb to darkness and wallow in his own lifelessness for a moment, until he just can not stand it anymore, to the point where he will begin to have appreciation for the most mundane details of life, and be resurrected. so to speak.

this is a cycle i go through.

not many can relate to my waves of depression and darkness, and they definately can't relate to my methods of dealing with it. which is to basically "die". but i always rise from the ashes, wiser and stronger than ever. it is a metamorphus.

dig?

 

[Gangster Of Love]

iqqi,

you been posting too much in just 6 months. Do you cancel dates with guys because you are too busy in front of the computer screen?

 

[ManOMan]

Interesting eileen, since you are so well versed in astrophysics maybe you can tell me since black holes suck up energy and stars..where the energy goes?

perhaps it is redispersed as a different form of energy to the rest of the galaxy. If I remember correctly, black holes are a type of "stellar recycling", so in essence its not really sucking up the energy of the universe.

Gentleman, very well put. The philosphers dillemma. All theory , no practicality.

 

[gentleman193]

iqqi -- That was really deep. I dig it. Post more stuff like that sometime.

 

[iqqi]

Originally posted by Gangster Of Love
iqqi,

you been posting too much in just 6 months. Do you cancel dates with guys because you are too busy in front of the computer screen?

(sigh)

for the millionth time, i am at work. i am getting paid. and i like this site. that is 3 for 1! don't hate.

 

[am4591]

Quote by ManOMan:

maybe you can tell me since black holes suck up energy and stars..where the energy goes?

It goes into the black hole itself. Making it even more dense than it already is. That's why the hole is black--it absorbs light. I'm not sure what you mean by stellar recycling, unless you mean that the energy is redirected into another universe--which sounds like science fiction to me.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by ManOMan
Id feel very sorry for you if you were female and NOT doing well with the opposite sex. And if you were doing so well, you'de have a boyfriend by now and spending quality time with him and not on some male forum trying to figure out what makes men "tick"

Ive seen women with triple thick milkshake asses with boyfriends. Whats your excuse? let me guess, you are too picky.

and there you go again, what makes you think he is no fun to be around?

just because he expressed that he isnt doing well with women at the moment doesnt imply he isnt fun to be around or has nothing to offer a woman

Iqqi didn't miss the point...you did.

I'm NOT much fun to be around, especially lately. I've been thinking about it and I'm starting to think it's because I haven't been listening to my own advice...I haven't been taking responsibility for my own life.

I don't know where it started, maybe with my parents. Who knows? All I know is that it's been a long time since I've been able to do something just because *I* want to do it. I want someone to give me the answer because I can't find it for myself...someone, my parents, my friends, women, God...SOMEONE who can tell me what to do with my life.

But the truth is they don't know. How is God going to know what I should do with my life? It's MY life. And my parents...they give me the answers that THEY want me to hear..."get a job, get a house, get a wife, get some kids..."

Seems like when I go to make a decision I'm constantly afraid of making a "mistake", of doing something wrong. So I constantly look outside of myself for someone to tell me if I'm doing it right. Sometimes I just want to do something utterly crazy just so I can claim the decision to do it as my own. I guess that's how psycho-killers feel...empowered by their actions.

They don't have the answer and they never have had it. So that leaves me with me. But what do *I* want in life?

I don't know. I just don't know.

I don't know what I want to do with the life I'm living. But it's my project, so I guess I need to do SOMETHING. But it won't be MINE until I do it on my own.

I think that's what women see when I approach them, that I pull every punch because I'm waiting for their reaction, or because I'm thinking about what a Pook or a Mr. Fingers would do in the situation, would say if they saw what I was doing. I don't own any of my words/actions and I don't take the praise/blame for the results.

It's not JUST a chick problem. It's a life problem. If you watch Fight Club, when they're in the limo, Tyler steers into the wrong lane and asks, "What do you wish you did before you died?", and like Jack, I don't have an answer to that question. Up until now, I've let others answer it for me.

I don't think there's anything that anyone here can do to help me...once again, that would just be giving me YOUR answer to MY question, which may get me through tonight, but tomorrow I'd be right back where I was before.

Originally posted by gentleman193

He's a philosopher. They learn from observation but abstain from action. Therefore they lose faith in their own arguments and end up writing cynical crapola to get attention. I think he's a perfect match for Eileen, actually

Trans-atlantic chatroom love matches aside, though, the antidote is a philosophical one: read Steppenwolf. A meta-physical one: read Nietzsche. A physical one: hit the gym. And an obvious one: approach women.

Sound familiar, squirrels? It's your own advice . . . thank me later -- in your next field report.

LOL...sounds pretty close. Funny thing is I never advised anyone to read Steppenwolf or Nietzsche. Even funnier thing is I was just at the bookstore the other day looking for some stuff to read (I've gone too long letting my mind rot on TV) and I picked up "Basic Writings of Nietzsche". And I just got back from the gym.

I DID lose faith in my own philosophy a long time ago...somewhere along the line I feel like I stopped thinking for myself. Worse, I stopped feeling for myself. I let (sometimes FORCED) other people to spoon-feed me my thoughts and emotions so I couldn't possibly make a mistake by thinking and acting for myself. LOL

As a result, sometimes I wonder if I've forgotten how. And "faking it" just isn't cutting it. It just makes it worse...people know when you're pretending to be yourself.

Originally posted by Eileen
- Squirrels get off your butt and go find some hobbies you enjoy. Start doing things that interest you. Along the way you'll become a more interesting person and probably meet some people who you find interesting. One of them might be a girl. If not, at least you're spending time doing something you enjoy.

Yeah, yeah...the hobby bit. Little by little, I'm trying to find things I want to do. But once again the issue becomes:

-I don't KNOW what I want to do.
-I end up letting other people TELL me what I want to do, so I pick up hobbies and end up dropping them again...I can't find passion in them.

I'm still working on it. I think I'm going to take up martial arts again this winter/spring...I had to quit that back in high school and I never did make black-belt. I'm still climbing, though not as frequently, and my skill level has plateaued (I feel like I'm not improving any more). I don't have the money to work on my car any more now that I've got this house...maybe in summer when I get my raise from work. And I started reading again. I really don't KNOW what else I'd like to try. I'd ask for suggestions, but that'd defeat the purpose. I hear where you're coming from, though.

 

[Eileen]

Originally posted by ManOMan
Interesting eileen, since you are so well versed in astrophysics maybe you can tell me since black holes suck up energy and stars..where the energy goes?

perhaps it is redispersed as a different form of energy to the rest of the galaxy. If I remember correctly, black holes are a type of "stellar recycling", so in essence its not really sucking up the energy of the universe.

Gentleman, very well put. The philosphers dillemma. All theory , no practicality.

Actually, I saw it on Discovery! I claim only to be an expert in the fields of Biology and Chemistry, not Astrophysics.

Though I do find quasars very interesting.