My college approach journal

[BongDuy]

I was never very good at meeting new people. Once I got to know them, things typically are good. But Today was my first day at college, and yeah i talked to some DUDES, but no cute girls. I'm not going to lie, i'm intimidated as hell. These girls are much better looking than the girls back in Highschool. It's also a big deal to mention that im basically starting fresh with very little friends, with different schedules, so now i want to MEET people. I actually spent the first time ever eating by myself today. IT SUCKED!!!!!!!I decided now would be the perfect time to start cold approaching

Approach One
I made one cold approach. I basically saw this blonde white, somewhat chubby girl ( Id rate like a 6) sitting by herself on the couch texting her friends or something. I figured I could just try and open up to her and see how that goes. I figured Id try a direct approach. What I thought of saying was " Hey I gotta get going now, but I just wanted to come over and say hi... blah blah blah "

Turned into : " Hey, I just had to come over and say hi.... I think you're really cute. But I have to get going now" It was a little awkward, but she smiled and said thank you. There was this dude sitting around her, and he was looking at me the whole time. He kinda opened up his eyes and gave me a shocked look like either " wow you're weird." or " holy sh1t i cant believe he said that".

I personally don't care, but I just wanted to just give it a shot since i've always wanted to use a direct approach. I forgot to mention i was nervous as hell, the minute i started to walk towards her, i felt my heart almost burst out of my chest. I had a rush for the next 10 minutes, no matter how lame that sounds, It was almost the epitome of when you go down a big vert ramp for the first time or jump into a lake and you're unsure if there are alligators in there.

I will get better at this... I know it

 

[sageproduct]

Hey it made me feel better seeing that someone else is in the same bout as me--so I'm gonna tell you that I'm pretty much struggling with the same dude. I only know a handful of people at my college, and I just really want to MEET a few people and start making friends all over. And yes, it feels so much easier to start chatting up dudes instead of chicks.

About those nerves, I think we all think technically too much sometimes. It's called game because it's supposed to be fun. Also about that dude staring at you--fwck those guys, I was chatting with some chick in a class today and a fag sitting behind me reached over specifically to me to hand me some papers and interrupt our conversation. He had this little grin on his face. Whatever.

Looking forward to a great year for myself, and for you

 

[ARrocket]

To BOTH of you.

It is great that you are cold approaching and trying to meet women, but KEEP THIS IN MIND:

Besides your studies, the NUMBER ONE MOST IMPORTANT ASPECT of your college experience will be to make a strong SOCIAL CIRCLE. BEFORE worrying about girls, MAKE FRIENDS. Mostly dudes, but GIRLS TOO. This will go a long way towards making sure you have a good experience, and it WILL help you to meet women and get lot's of pvssy in the future.

 

[BongDuy]

Really fat girl with a cute face.
So im on my 2 hour break, and after hitting the school gym, i notice i have an hour to spare. I walk into the Student Union, where there are a bunch of couches , tables and chairs with wifi, a pool table, and a ping pong table. The pool table has a crazy long line, so i sit down on the couch and check my phone, and phumble around. I decided I wanted to play ping pong and saw a few ppl playing. some really short spanish girl ( shes not cute at all) and a few guys. I take a seat and notice im next to some really big girl. I see her face and its not... that bad. I figured I might as well talk to her, So i said " Am I the only one who isnt good at this? " she replies " no, but im assuming since u said so, you are good." I looked at her, grinned and said " why because im asian?" in some sort of ****y tone.
She laughs and says " no you @$$hole. you're racist" and i replied " yeah im an asian who doesn't get along with other asians. I dont like my kind!"


we talked and stuff. i wasnt too interested in her, but i guess i forgot to mention in my first post is that I want to make more friends, and meet atleast one new person a day, not really pick up chicks. I def want to build a good social circle, and it seems to be working. although i haven't had a chance to really "hangout" with anyone, whenever I see a classmate, they yell my name and always seem glad to see me, whether its in the hallways or i pass by. i feel pretty proud of that to be honest.

Honestly I feel like I struggle with the whole Eye Contact and smile. I strongly dislike my smile. Whenever I make eye contact, I either freak when they look back, or they freak when we make eye contact. I feel so weird when im looking at her, and she looks at me. like i can imagine her thinking " whoa, what is that guy lookin at".

 

[spinaroonie]

Tip for any Asian guy trying to hook up with white girls - downplay your ethnicity. Don't mention it, don't acknowledge it, don't bring up anything remotely related to Asians - especially in the first 30 minutes of a cold approach. Your goal at the onset is to crush all her stereotypes and prejudices towards Asian men. Do this and she'll soon forget she's talking to "just another Asian guy".

Keep in mind white guys doing a cold approach open with a blank slate. For Asian guys she's already assumed all sorts of things about you before you even open your mouth - and they're all negative. If white guys start with a baseline threshold of 0, for Asian guys it's in the negatives. Your goal is to get to 0. ASAP.

Also, way too many Asian guys have nasal voices with gay-sounding inflections. Stop that. An Asian guy with a deep, masculine baritone could even be sexy.

No bowl cuts.

And all the advice above is void if you've got an Asian accent. Accents are the biggest game-killer. Even Asian-American girls won't hook up with an Asian guy with an accent. Stick to FOBs.

 

[BongDuy]

Tip for any Asian guy trying to hook up with white girls - downplay your ethnicity. Don't mention it, don't acknowledge it, don't bring up anything remotely related to Asians - especially in the first 30 minutes of a cold approach. Your goal at the onset is to crush all her stereotypes and prejudices towards Asian men. Do this and she'll soon forget she's talking to "just another Asian guy".

Keep in mind white guys doing a cold approach open with a blank slate. For Asian guys she's already assumed all sorts of things about you before you even open your mouth - and they're all negative. If white guys start with a baseline threshold of 0, for Asian guys it's in the negatives. Your goal is to get to 0. ASAP.

Also, way too many Asian guys have nasal voices with gay-sounding inflections. Stop that. An Asian guy with a deep, masculine baritone could even be sexy.

No bowl cuts.

And all the advice above is void if you've got an Asian accent. Accents are the biggest game-killer. Even Asian-American girls won't hook up with an Asian guy with an accent. Stick to FOBs.

okay i can see where you're going, and ill try to remember that. but the only thing asian about me is that im 5'4'' and chinky eyes. Im actually pretty muscular ( so im told) and luckily i have NO accent. I never realized being Asian had so many negativities to it though

 

[Spartan301]

From one college student to another...brotha, you gotta start thinking BIG PICTURE.

To be THE MAN in any situation, you have to think bigger than the interaction level. Think about this, the greatest generals in the world: Napoleon, Machavelli, Washington, Tokugawa. They didn't think on a battle by battle basis unless it was a big one. They looked at the entire battlefield.

Okay, enough analogy. Take a perticular location, and my biggest suggestion is to plant a seed and create buss within it. The best way is by building allies with the most fun and talkative people within that location.

Let's take a classroom, for example. Before class starts, sit nearst to the chattiest girl in the room. Talk to her, get to know her, get her laughing and smiling and having a great impression about you. Then, invite another friendly person nearby into the fun conversation, and another, and another.

Other schools of dating call this social proof, and this makes the playing field all that much easier when you try to bring in that hottie.

So in short, use the first few days of school to build allies within your location. Classroom, libary, cafeteria, study group, everywhere. Give them that fun and charismatic vibe you have, become that fireball of social inferno, and the girl you want will not help but be caught in the blaze.

Best of luck, brotha. Let me know if you need any more help.

 

[spinaroonie]

okay i can see where you're going, and ill try to remember that. but the only thing asian about me is that im 5'4'' and chinky eyes. Im actually pretty muscular ( so im told) and luckily i have NO accent. I never realized being Asian had so many negativities to it though

5'4" ?! Yikes, that's an even bigger handicap than being Asian.

 

[BongDuy]

It seems a little difficult to talk to people in college during class, because there is a lecture going on, and its all important. everyone is taking notes. the jock in the back is taking notes. However, Whenever I do get a chance, I def talk to both girls and guys.

Ella
Today I arrived early enough in my first hour to see a white, girl with curley ginger hair, standing by herself outside of the door to my Social problems class. I remember opening the door, seeing it being pitch black and I backed out and made an " oh **** face" kinda like i was surprised no one was in there. She said something to me, and obviously i talked. I introduced myself, and when more people arrived, we walk in together and she sits next to me. She pulls out her Iphone and the default wallpage has her and a guy being basically kissing, so i'll just befriend her. She's a freshmen as well.

That's probably the only interesting thing that happen. I also tried talking to EVERYONE I had a chance too, which to my surprise, some people weren't as friendly. Get this, The gaming nerds aren't very friendly AT ALL. I Walked into a room full of them playing on a 360, and they all just starred at me like i don't belong. they were all awkawrd, and my goal here was to just make friends, with anyone. I wanted to socialize at the time and I figured they would want to talk. instead, they either stared blankly at the TV screen, scarfing down some french fries, playing WoW, or the 360. Def not what I expected from gamers. I just thought I should throw it out there.

 

[todays_news]

girl with curley ginger hair

stop right there.

standing by herself

no surprise here.

outside of the door to my Social problems class

thats just mean.

 

[sageproduct]

I Walked into a room full of them playing on a 360, and they all just starred at me like i don't belong. they were all awkawrd, and my goal here was to just make friends, with anyone. I wanted to socialize at the time and I figured they would want to talk. instead, they either stared blankly at the TV screen, scarfing down some french fries, playing WoW, or the 360. Def not what I expected from gamers. I just thought I should throw it out there.

...That's why they're gaming nerds. They don't even try to be social or meet girls.

 

[Datpiff]

in school i never once tried to befriend people who were below me, why would you try with gaming nerds? imagine you became friends with them those are the people you'd be associated with

 

[f283000]

Besides your studies, the NUMBER ONE MOST IMPORTANT ASPECT of your college experience will be to make a strong SOCIAL CIRCLE. BEFORE worrying about girls, MAKE FRIENDS. Mostly dudes, but GIRLS TOO. This will go a long way towards making sure you have a good experience, and it WILL help you to meet women and get lot's of pvssy in the future.

The so called stereotypical hollywood movie "college experience" is reserved for guys living in dorms in big universities, not community colleges and commuter colleges full of old people and single moms.

 

[ARrocket]

The so called stereotypical hollywood movie "college experience" is reserved for guys living in dorms in big universities, not community colleges and commuter colleges full of old people and single moms.

You're right, it's completely different depending on the type of campus. But this one sounds like a big school to me. At least, big enough.

 

[BongDuy]

ugh today was so wack. idk if its because its a monday, but i seriously had no luck today. I met my quota by talking to one woman sittng by herself.

I was in the Student union room, where i found a place to sit by myself. I see two options, a 5 and a 7. I decided to go to the 7 and I opened up with a " Hi, I like your purse" Unfortunately she didnt hear me at first, so i had to.. repeat myself again. embarassing. we get to talking, and she obviously thinks im hitting on her, so she throws the " Boyfriend" card up, so i come out honestly say " well i've got 50 minutes before my class starts, and i figured you looked bored" She laughs and we continue talking. I find out shes actually a teacher but at the same time a student whos going for her master's. she's from europe so she's got a thick accent. basically, we fluffed talk, and after 5 minutes she said she had to go. Very boring, and not very entertaining.

I'm going to start talkin to people who live on campus and see if I can find any parties. my school is full of too many cuties for me not to be going to parties with them.

 

[spinaroonie]

Hey buddy, I'm going to be real and honest with you. As a 5'4 Asian guy cold approaches are not going to work for you. You'll look like a friendless creep.

You're best off following some of the advice on this thread. Make friends with some cool guys, get introduced to cool girls, and get invited to cool parties where alcohol is involved. Hooking up is a lot easier this way, especially in college.

And don't neglect your schoolwork.

 

[Speculator E]

Hey buddy, I'm going to be real and honest with you. As a 5'4 Asian guy cold approaches are not going to work for you. You'll look like a friendless creep.

You're best off following some of the advice on this thread. Make friends with some cool guys, get introduced to cool girls, and get invited to cool parties where alcohol is involved. Hooking up is a lot easier this way, especially in college.

And don't neglect your schoolwork.

Bongduy,

Listen to spinaroonie. He's giving you good advice and I agree with him. In college, girls don't usually get hit on by random guys during the day. It looks creepy. One girl told me she thinks guys that do that are desperate. Parties, classes, and through friends are where you should be meeting girls. Build up your social circles. Getting girls take social skills. If you can't even make friends with guys, you don't stand a chance hooking up with girls.

 

[BongDuy]

ok i can see what you mean. i have no problems meeting people in class, because in my classes everyone knows my name, and i'm not very shy in class but i wanted to go out of my way to meet new people, since the campus is so damn huge. I appreciate the insight. I also honestly felt weird going up to random girls who were doing their own things in the hallways and talking to them, but i figured that was just anxiety approach and that i would get good enough for it to go away. i'll find other ways to meet people

 

[Elky]

BongDuy.

Create your social proof. Stay on top of your studies. Don't stop your cold approaches. From what I've read you are doing nothing wrong. Experience from failure and experience from success are both important. Just make sure you continue doing cold approaches that are not "creepy", and you'll do fine.

There is no reason for someone to stop cold approaching. You see a girl you are attracted to at the other side of the room? That could be your only chance.

Don't be afraid of rejection!

 

[Matt281]

First off, don't listen to people telling you what you can't have based on how you look or your ethnicity. Internalizing and believing that they're a problem will mess you up more than anything.

That being said, unless your school has 25,000 plus undergrads, I'd focus focus more on general social circle stuff. It's pretty easy to build a reputation in a small to medium sized college, and you want to be that cool guy who knows everyone, not the creepy guy who cold approaches.

Cold approach is awesome and irreplaceable, but I'd try to get it in off campus as often as possible.