My City Sucks For Dating

[allancc3]

I went to a mixer in my area and it sucked. I made the best of it, but it objectively sucked. Almost all of the girls were overweight. The prettier girls (just a few) were wearing too much makeup and had/or bad skin. There was some very clear attention whoring. I had high hopes for this group; what a letdown.

The categories of girls:

1. an amorphous mass of overweight girls, ranging in age from early 20's to late 30's. They were all well dressed, nice hair, makeup, still fairly pretty, but it was astonishing how large these girls were.

2. a few pretty girls who were taller. But either wearing too makeup or had bad a complexion. It's possible I could be nitpicking here.

3. some clear attention whoring for it's own sake. One gal I've known for a year and a half for example. She has a strange tendency to date short, balding, passive guys. It's very perplexing. In this weak pool of pretty girls, she stands out a little bit: not really but you know what I mean. She loves to be the dominant figure in the relationship. She is strongly infatuated with me but she feels more comfortable with weak beta guys. When she sees me her eyes glaze over, she freezes and just stares. I always knew she was strongly attracted to me but it's pretty hardcore. She can't even bring herself to talk to me for more than a few seconds at a time. The tension dealing with a goodlooking guy is just too intense for her.

There was more there I could discuss, but I'd rather not, just because I don't want to feel depressed.

The thirstiness of SOME of my fellow bro's just continues to shock me. It's kinda funny actually. They try to be polite and smile when I show up, but they are so uncomfortable their faces just contort into this weird, pained grimace. They know they've lost instantly. I showed up very early, literally just a few minutes after the start time and the guys had already started to pounce.

It was painful. And yes, I do have many much better dating experiences outside of town and still date pretty ladies locally. But I just hate walking into a room where there should be a couple of dozen PRETTY ladies and there are only 2 or 3. I want to be able to have good experiences within a short drive.

The food and drinks kinda sucked too so I couldn't even fall back on that.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

If your area is objectively bad then you have to do something different, like move locations. I spend part of my time in the rural Midwest of the US. Women here are generally overweight very early, and not terribly sophisticated. Those who are fit & attractive & sophisticated are well and happily married and got married young. Two women who immediately come to mind are married to prominent doctors in my area. There are other women I know who are fit and attractive who are married to businessmen locally. The really good people are paired off. I arrived to this area as a married person. Being single there is awful. There are no prospects that interest me. None.

So I established another residence in an area with a vibrant social scene and plenty of people who are single after being divorced etc. I have no shortage of options in the metropolitan area I have chosen. People are fit, good looking and accomplished (as am I).

You might say that you can’t move or you don’t want to. Ok. That’s your choice. But if you want to meet/date the kind of women you know you are capable of attracting, then you need to arrange your life in such a way as to accomplish that goal.

A good relationship is more important to me than a particular job or assignment. I can always find another job or assignment. So being in an area where dating opportunities are abundant is more important to me than work opportunities.

You’ll have to set your priorities and arrange your life accordingly. Give that a think.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

BE speaks the truth. After my divorce, I found myself alone in the 'burbs. I actually liked the 'burbs.... they weren't rural, I had a really nice place on a huge wooded lot. Lots of mom and pop restaurants and stuff. Safe. But the people up there just weren't my people. The women weren't very attractive and were really stuck up and just didn't see the world the way I did. When I get on OLD, I noticed all the women I was into lived downtown. Also, most of my friends lived there too.

So, I got a new job (same industry and same role I previously worked in), finished a remodel on my house that had been stalled, sold that house, bought a new house downtown, and moved. I've been much, much happier and more successful with women since moving down here. I see way more attractive women down here than I did in the 'burbs and there are many more places to go where I know I'll run into tons of women at any hour of the day (even parks and other outdoor places).

I know it sounds like a lot, but I'm sharing my story to add to BE's that it is doable, and once it's behind you, you see the perspective that it was not a huge deal to accomplish. Bottom line is you can be frustrated, or you can do something about it.

 

[SpeedDemon]

OP, I am in the same predicament. I am in the process of selling my home and considering moving, just don't know where. I love my home, but it's in suburbs like @oldmanofthesea says and there are no single women in the area. I have to go over a bridge or vice-versa or travel 40 mins, which is fine for me, but the women give in after two or three months due to location.

 

[marmel75]

Where I am at there are plenty of women in the 'burbs...in fact probably as many or more than in the city.

 

[allancc3]

Great take marmel. There's actually a hotbed of hot girls just 10-15 minutes out. Really nice and ritzy with a solid mix of younger hotties but also some great looking women who are 29+. It's awesome during peak tourist season/s but sketchy and trashy late fall and winter.

Overall, the pool is small and very hit and miss, but there are definitely some pockets of hotness.

 

[sosousage]

wat is mixer?

 

[Thechamp]

I went to a mixer in my area and it sucked. I made the best of it, but it objectively sucked. Almost all of the girls were overweight. The prettier girls (just a few) were wearing too much makeup and had/or bad skin. There was some very clear attention whoring. I had high hopes for this group; what a letdown.

The categories of girls:

1. an amorphous mass of overweight girls, ranging in age from early 20's to late 30's. They were all well dressed, nice hair, makeup, still fairly pretty, but it was astonishing how large these girls were.

2. a few pretty girls who were taller. But either wearing too makeup or had bad a complexion. It's possible I could be nitpicking here.

3. some clear attention whoring for it's own sake. One gal I've known for a year and a half for example. She has a strange tendency to date short, balding, passive guys. It's very perplexing. In this weak pool of pretty girls, she stands out a little bit: not really but you know what I mean. She loves to be the dominant figure in the relationship. She is strongly infatuated with me but she feels more comfortable with weak beta guys. When she sees me her eyes glaze over, she freezes and just stares. I always knew she was strongly attracted to me but it's pretty hardcore. She can't even bring herself to talk to me for more than a few seconds at a time. The tension dealing with a goodlooking guy is just too intense for her.

There was more there I could discuss, but I'd rather not, just because I don't want to feel depressed.

The thirstiness of SOME of my fellow bro's just continues to shock me. It's kinda funny actually. They try to be polite and smile when I show up, but they are so uncomfortable their faces just contort into this weird, pained grimace. They know they've lost instantly. I showed up very early, literally just a few minutes after the start time and the guys had already started to pounce.

It was painful. And yes, I do have many much better dating experiences outside of town and still date pretty ladies locally. But I just hate walking into a room where there should be a couple of dozen PRETTY ladies and there are only 2 or 3. I want to be able to have good experiences within a short drive.

The food and drinks kinda sucked too so I couldn't even fall back on that.

Now in some places in the world you can get laid like a rockstar now this is for the guys in here that say money doesn’t get you laid, also even if you don’t have a lot of money this can be done.” All you have to do is download tinder gold travel on the app now find a few countries or city’s where ever you live in the world , say Australia change city’s if this does not work , go to Eastern Europe or any European country city start swiping now see where you get the most matches , now you will be able to travel to say Czech Republic etc or hungry or Ukraine , Cyprus , Estonia for safety reasons if your scared , guys in USA can try the whole country if that does not work same thing , get some great photos dress to the tens look great feel good,”Now the beauty of this is two things first you are gonna find a city country or place women are attracted to you when you have more matches so you can bang some of these girls if you choose , Or at least you know when you cold approach the women in these country’s will be more attracted to you than your on city etc!

 

[flowtheory]

My city sucks for dating = I suck at dating in my city.

Often times it’s not the city which is the problem, but our perspective which needs to be retooled..

 

[zekko]

I visit several cities in the area where I live, and it's amazing what a difference a relatively few miles can make. One city I go to is a college town, and I have never seen as many attractive women as I have seen there. And it's not just the college students, the older women there too are attractive.

There's also another city I like to visit, because the people there are so friendly. Not as attractive as the college town, of course, but there are still some attractive women there. And it's very common for them to say hello to you or talk to you about something or other. If I was on the market, I would spend more time in these places.

There are a few other places close by that I visit, but they don't stand out to me like the other two.

 

[allancc3]

My city sucks for dating = I suck at dating in my city.

Often times it’s not the city which is the problem, but our perspective which needs to be retooled..

No offense, but you are dating a lot of old ladies. You really don't have the dating background to understand the frustrations of men who consistently date and attract the hottest women.

 

[allancc3]

I visit several cities in the area where I live, and it's amazing what a difference a relatively few miles can make. One city I go to is a college town, and I have never seen as many attractive women as I have seen there. And it's not just the college students, the older women there too are attractive.

There's also another city I like to visit, because the people there are so friendly. Not as attractive as the college town, of course, but there are still some attractive women there. And it's very common for them to say hello to you or talk to you about something or other. If I was on the market, I would spend more time in these places.

There are a few other places close by that I visit, but they don't stand out to me like the other two.

This is absolutely correct. And for better or for worse, it's very cyclical. There's an upscale suburb just 10-15 minutes out. However, it completely dries up in the winter or whenever weather's bad. Then, only the local trash shows up and drags the venue down into the gutter. During the peak of tourist season, it can be outrageously good.

I've also seen several local colleges become completely swamped because of DACA/illegal immigration. All of the hot girls have been pushed out. Who knows where they went? Now it's a bunch of chubby mexican girls who struggle with their Ingles.

I can drive out of town, but it's nearly an hour to the next hotspot and again the mexican wave is infiltrating, although at a slightly slower pace.

 

[allancc3]

A mixer is a social event, often for networking or strictly for social reasons.

On the flipside, I wonder what the women are thinking. Yes, it's true that almost all of them were overweight and not ideal dating candidates. Only 2 or 3 were clearly attractive and I had hooked up with one of them already. She completely avoided me and left early.

But the guys, dang. Most of them were on the wrong side of 30 and still single. Several were balding and starting to wrinkle. Most of them had that weirdly anxious look, with that constant nervous smile betraying a lack of confidence and ease with social situations.

 

[flowtheory]

No offense, but you are dating a lot of old ladies. You really don't have the dating background to understand the frustrations of men who consistently date and attract the hottest women.

Old ladies? What