Hi, I am new here. I have spent the last few weeks browsing various forums for some insight into BPDS, and found the best stuff here so I figured I would post my story ... and hope for the best?
To give you some insight into my life without going into too much detail I am a 21 year old semi professional poker player who lives at home and has very very few friends and very limited romantic experience.
Anyway lets jump right into this, around 6 months ago I received a friend request from quite possibly the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen, she was mutual friends with 2 guys I went to school with so I snap accepted and didn't think too much of it, although I did regularly stalk her profile and occasionally send her a flirty message - I didn't get very far, she didn't seem interested and I was wondering why she added me.
This went on for about 2-3 weeks, until one night we started snap chatting, we were talking for like 4 hours straight about sex, life, being lonely etc. I honestly felt so good just talking to her on a personal level for the first time. I remember that night telling her I had to go away for a week which seemed to make her upset but we agreed as soon as I was back we'd meet up - I was pretty excited! During the next 4 days, we spoke every day via text, snapchat etc. I'd wake up to messages from her and it felt so so good, it was like she was my girlfriend already and we'd not even hung out!
Then in my eyes, the first red flag appeared - she just vanished, no warning nothing. I just did not hear from her again for the next few days. I was confused, and hurt naturally I mean I had been ghosted before, but this seemed different. For the 4 days we spoke she seemed literally obsessed with me, then she was gone. I spent a couple of days thinking about this, then I decided to contact one of the 2 mutual friends we had on Fb who I went to school with to discuss.
The friend almost instantly told me that he had been best friends with her for years, then they had an awkward one night stand where she started crying half way through thus asking him to stop and after that things were never the same, but what he did tell me was that she was currently in a relationship with the other friend and had been for the past 6 months ... the plot thickens!
I agree to go on a night out with this friend and after we had both consumed out body weight in beer and cheap spirits I decided to snapchat this girl, basically calling her a ***** and a bunch of other mean things that may or may not have been true. Surprisingly that night when I stumbled through my front door around 3am, she asked if she could call me, I said sure and we chatted on the phone for a bit. She explained how when we were talking she had been single but got back with her BF, shady I know but I was drunk and didn't want to fall out with her so I let it go.
Over the next couple of weeks we chatted more in a friendly way, until one night she tells me she's ended things for good with her boyfriend. I didn't take this too seriously but the next day she asked to meet for drinks. We meet at a local bar and I explain I can't be long as I have my driving test the next morning. We hit it off straight away and chat for hours, with constant make out sessions. she was so absurdly passionate I just wanted to **** her there and then ... Anyway we eventually parted ways that evening and she wished me luck for my driving test.
That night she was all I could think about but the next day I managed to pass my test and already had a pretty nice car ready. My test was on a Thursday and we agreed id pick her up from work on the Saturday evening, we drive around for a bit then stop in a car park facing the sea to chat ... I say chat within what felt like seconds my jeans were down and she performed the most incredible ******* id ever felt, instantly I was hooked.
The next couple of days she's quite distant, we meet for a drink but things seem different. She's cold and explains she might get back with her ex, also started randomly talking about an abortion she had, idk kinda creeped me out but whatever. That night she texts me asking for some space which I reacted badly too but in the end just accepted, figured it was what it was.
I'd still sometimes hear from her on the phone, and one night she explained to me she had BPD, how it had destroyed all of her relationships. Told me some long story about how she got kicked out when she was 18 for a year and her mother had only just let her back, generic sob story stuff. I didn't really take the whole BPD thing in until one day she rang me just being very angry and mean, bare in mind I'd not seen her in about a month, after the call I decide to google BPD Girls, and Jesus Christ was I scared.
I decided I had to confront her about what id read and told her we probably couldn't be friends and then in the calmest voice after flaking me non stop for a month she said "Aww I was hoping maybe we could hang out tonight" Obviously being the sucker I am. I jumped at the chance, picked her up, took her for dinner, proceeded to take her to the nearest car park. Amazing head follows, and she begs me to **** her I mean seriously begs but I just could not do it, idk why but that night we did not ****.
Over the next week we hang out practically every day, Id pick her up from work, we'd chat, it was fine but id say it lacked romance. Anyway one night we went for dinner and half way through she blurts out " Would you mind driving me to my exes after this please" I could not believe this. I of course refuse and she starts crying, asks me to take her to the beach where she sobs uncontrollably, punches the walls non stop, tries to smash multiple windows but fails, it was a scary experience honestly.
We still chat every day after this and I basically ignore it as I was going away with my father for a week and did not want to leave on a bad note. Whilst I'm there she calls me nonstop, says im her best friend, she misses me so much etc. When I get back I pick her up from work, and as always she keeps me ****ing waiting in the car park whilst flirting with the cooks, it annoys me so much as I'll get a text "hey im ready now can you get here in 10 minutes" I arrive and she still takes all the time in the world. As always though, she makes it worth the wait and blows me in a car park before letting me blow my load on her tights.
The drive home was very depressing, she often tells me that things with her won't last and I should always be prepared for her to vanish for good at any time. Not what I ideally want to hear after having my balls drained, but it is what it is. I'm an emotional person so constantly hearing this from someone I like so much is very hurtful.
A couple of days after this is when things get really quite strange, I agree to pick her up during the day to hang out and she is just in the worst mood possible. Regardless we had an ok day together and at the end of it we go back to my place, I sneak her in past midnight as my parents are sleeping and she performs the works on me. AMAZING HEAD, even let me record a solid 3 minutes worth. Then she rides me, then I get on top and eventually end up cumming inside her. She did not seem to mind at all and the next day I take her to get the morning after pill which was fine. On the drive home she says "Btw I dont need you to pick me up on friday as im going home with one of the chefs, I wont sleep with him though" This was the ultimate dagger in my heart, we had literally just spent the night together and she was already planning to see another guy in just a day or 2.
It bothered me so much, for the next 24 hours it was all I could think about, the day came and she asked if i could take her to work as she was running late. I agreed and on the drive there she assured me she would not sleep with him that night. The next morning she rang me, assured me nothing happened between them, they just drank a little then called it a night. She swore on her life, you name it. It actually made me feel pretty good, anyway we went for breakfast, i uploaded a picture of the food where you can see maybe the tips of her hair / hands ( this becomes relevant later ) whatever anyway we have a nice day. That night I get a text around 11pm asking me to pick her up which I do, as she gets in the car she tells me she feels bad as she did sleep with the cook that night and he cuddled he to sleep ... A ****ING DAGGER IN THE HEART. 2 days after having my *** inside her she ****s another guy after promising not to and having sworn on her life that very morning she didn't.
I drive us to mcdonalds to get some food but she isnt hungry so I just have an ice cream whilst she cries, we argue a little nothing major. Then on the way back we somehow get on the topic of my relationship with my father, which isn't great. She strokes my hair constantly and when I drop her home gives me a very loving hug.
The next day I pick her up from work and as I arrive she starts shouting at me for apparently talking to her ex boyfriend ... I had not. What had happened was I logged in to my other facebook account where I am friends with that ex to chat to someone and happened to scroll through my newsfeed and saw he had made a pretty funny post about virtual currency, which without thinking I liked. It turns out then he went on to my main facebook and saw the picture of her hair and lost it at her etc despite them being broken up for well over a month. Anyway she was super upset with me and I had to take her home. I feel like if anyone should be annoyed it's me after what she did with that cook then lied about it ... but no I'm the bad guy for uploading a picture where you can see her hair and liking a FB status.
That's where im at anyway guys ... any advice / comments would be grearly appreciated.
To give you some insight into my life without going into too much detail I am a 21 year old semi professional poker player who lives at home and has very very few friends and very limited romantic experience.
Anyway lets jump right into this, around 6 months ago I received a friend request from quite possibly the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen, she was mutual friends with 2 guys I went to school with so I snap accepted and didn't think too much of it, although I did regularly stalk her profile and occasionally send her a flirty message - I didn't get very far, she didn't seem interested and I was wondering why she added me.
This went on for about 2-3 weeks, until one night we started snap chatting, we were talking for like 4 hours straight about sex, life, being lonely etc. I honestly felt so good just talking to her on a personal level for the first time. I remember that night telling her I had to go away for a week which seemed to make her upset but we agreed as soon as I was back we'd meet up - I was pretty excited! During the next 4 days, we spoke every day via text, snapchat etc. I'd wake up to messages from her and it felt so so good, it was like she was my girlfriend already and we'd not even hung out!
Then in my eyes, the first red flag appeared - she just vanished, no warning nothing. I just did not hear from her again for the next few days. I was confused, and hurt naturally I mean I had been ghosted before, but this seemed different. For the 4 days we spoke she seemed literally obsessed with me, then she was gone. I spent a couple of days thinking about this, then I decided to contact one of the 2 mutual friends we had on Fb who I went to school with to discuss.
The friend almost instantly told me that he had been best friends with her for years, then they had an awkward one night stand where she started crying half way through thus asking him to stop and after that things were never the same, but what he did tell me was that she was currently in a relationship with the other friend and had been for the past 6 months ... the plot thickens!
I agree to go on a night out with this friend and after we had both consumed out body weight in beer and cheap spirits I decided to snapchat this girl, basically calling her a ***** and a bunch of other mean things that may or may not have been true. Surprisingly that night when I stumbled through my front door around 3am, she asked if she could call me, I said sure and we chatted on the phone for a bit. She explained how when we were talking she had been single but got back with her BF, shady I know but I was drunk and didn't want to fall out with her so I let it go.
Over the next couple of weeks we chatted more in a friendly way, until one night she tells me she's ended things for good with her boyfriend. I didn't take this too seriously but the next day she asked to meet for drinks. We meet at a local bar and I explain I can't be long as I have my driving test the next morning. We hit it off straight away and chat for hours, with constant make out sessions. she was so absurdly passionate I just wanted to **** her there and then ... Anyway we eventually parted ways that evening and she wished me luck for my driving test.
That night she was all I could think about but the next day I managed to pass my test and already had a pretty nice car ready. My test was on a Thursday and we agreed id pick her up from work on the Saturday evening, we drive around for a bit then stop in a car park facing the sea to chat ... I say chat within what felt like seconds my jeans were down and she performed the most incredible ******* id ever felt, instantly I was hooked.
The next couple of days she's quite distant, we meet for a drink but things seem different. She's cold and explains she might get back with her ex, also started randomly talking about an abortion she had, idk kinda creeped me out but whatever. That night she texts me asking for some space which I reacted badly too but in the end just accepted, figured it was what it was.
I'd still sometimes hear from her on the phone, and one night she explained to me she had BPD, how it had destroyed all of her relationships. Told me some long story about how she got kicked out when she was 18 for a year and her mother had only just let her back, generic sob story stuff. I didn't really take the whole BPD thing in until one day she rang me just being very angry and mean, bare in mind I'd not seen her in about a month, after the call I decide to google BPD Girls, and Jesus Christ was I scared.
I decided I had to confront her about what id read and told her we probably couldn't be friends and then in the calmest voice after flaking me non stop for a month she said "Aww I was hoping maybe we could hang out tonight" Obviously being the sucker I am. I jumped at the chance, picked her up, took her for dinner, proceeded to take her to the nearest car park. Amazing head follows, and she begs me to **** her I mean seriously begs but I just could not do it, idk why but that night we did not ****.
Over the next week we hang out practically every day, Id pick her up from work, we'd chat, it was fine but id say it lacked romance. Anyway one night we went for dinner and half way through she blurts out " Would you mind driving me to my exes after this please" I could not believe this. I of course refuse and she starts crying, asks me to take her to the beach where she sobs uncontrollably, punches the walls non stop, tries to smash multiple windows but fails, it was a scary experience honestly.
We still chat every day after this and I basically ignore it as I was going away with my father for a week and did not want to leave on a bad note. Whilst I'm there she calls me nonstop, says im her best friend, she misses me so much etc. When I get back I pick her up from work, and as always she keeps me ****ing waiting in the car park whilst flirting with the cooks, it annoys me so much as I'll get a text "hey im ready now can you get here in 10 minutes" I arrive and she still takes all the time in the world. As always though, she makes it worth the wait and blows me in a car park before letting me blow my load on her tights.
The drive home was very depressing, she often tells me that things with her won't last and I should always be prepared for her to vanish for good at any time. Not what I ideally want to hear after having my balls drained, but it is what it is. I'm an emotional person so constantly hearing this from someone I like so much is very hurtful.
A couple of days after this is when things get really quite strange, I agree to pick her up during the day to hang out and she is just in the worst mood possible. Regardless we had an ok day together and at the end of it we go back to my place, I sneak her in past midnight as my parents are sleeping and she performs the works on me. AMAZING HEAD, even let me record a solid 3 minutes worth. Then she rides me, then I get on top and eventually end up cumming inside her. She did not seem to mind at all and the next day I take her to get the morning after pill which was fine. On the drive home she says "Btw I dont need you to pick me up on friday as im going home with one of the chefs, I wont sleep with him though" This was the ultimate dagger in my heart, we had literally just spent the night together and she was already planning to see another guy in just a day or 2.
It bothered me so much, for the next 24 hours it was all I could think about, the day came and she asked if i could take her to work as she was running late. I agreed and on the drive there she assured me she would not sleep with him that night. The next morning she rang me, assured me nothing happened between them, they just drank a little then called it a night. She swore on her life, you name it. It actually made me feel pretty good, anyway we went for breakfast, i uploaded a picture of the food where you can see maybe the tips of her hair / hands ( this becomes relevant later ) whatever anyway we have a nice day. That night I get a text around 11pm asking me to pick her up which I do, as she gets in the car she tells me she feels bad as she did sleep with the cook that night and he cuddled he to sleep ... A ****ING DAGGER IN THE HEART. 2 days after having my *** inside her she ****s another guy after promising not to and having sworn on her life that very morning she didn't.
I drive us to mcdonalds to get some food but she isnt hungry so I just have an ice cream whilst she cries, we argue a little nothing major. Then on the way back we somehow get on the topic of my relationship with my father, which isn't great. She strokes my hair constantly and when I drop her home gives me a very loving hug.
The next day I pick her up from work and as I arrive she starts shouting at me for apparently talking to her ex boyfriend ... I had not. What had happened was I logged in to my other facebook account where I am friends with that ex to chat to someone and happened to scroll through my newsfeed and saw he had made a pretty funny post about virtual currency, which without thinking I liked. It turns out then he went on to my main facebook and saw the picture of her hair and lost it at her etc despite them being broken up for well over a month. Anyway she was super upset with me and I had to take her home. I feel like if anyone should be annoyed it's me after what she did with that cook then lied about it ... but no I'm the bad guy for uploading a picture where you can see her hair and liking a FB status.
That's where im at anyway guys ... any advice / comments would be grearly appreciated.
