"My Boyfriend" breaks rapport.

[Pepe Le Pew]

Hey guys,
I just noticed (understood) today that when a girl talks to you and tells you she has a boyfriend, it's kind of a rapport breaking experience....for me at least...............it's almost like she's testing your sincerity......
Anyway, if you don't react to this the girl gets confused......and flustered......like her secret weapon is powerless.....

the same thing happens to newly married women, or married women who throw out that "I'm married" signal..........
they'll say they have a husband 10000 times, hold their hand out so you can see their ring, and be really really nice to you when they first meet you!.........anyway these women too, are trying to still find out wether they have what it takes w/ men....and they'll be really nice and the second you begin to accomodate they will throw you the ole "my husband" thing......I've seen it happen LITERALLY 1000 times. At first I reacted, now I don't, and I see the smurk on their faces turn into, a surprised look....anyway...please share your insights!
P.S. Not saying that all girls that say they have boyfriends are doing this, but I believe that 90 percent of girls are unfaithful to their boyfriends,..........they're always looking for something better....let me correct myself 95 percent.......from my experience!!

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

P.S. Not saying that all girls that say they have boyfriends are doing this, but I believe that 90 percent of girls are unfaithful to their boyfriends,..........they're always looking for something better....let me correct myself 95 percent.......from my experience!!

Funny how true that is, eh?

If we act the same way, and dump a girl for the better girl, we're the bad guys.

Chick logic hard at work.

 

[jlujan]

What do you say to a woman that tells you she has a boyfriend?

I am not jealous and i am willling to share.

 

[htemorp]

What do you say to a woman that tells you she has a boyfriend?

I say next. In my own experiences, if the girls are interested in me they never mention their boyfriends, even if they do have one. But in few incidents where I mentioned my girlfriend (I do the same if I am interested in someone, I don't mention I have a gf), they then reveal they have boyfriends. So when a girl starts to talk about her boyfriend in a conversation, I know she's not interested. Plus I don't believe in going after someone in an exclusive relationship, because I don't want anyone to do it to my relationship.

This is after like at least a week long of flirting and conversation.

 

[crowes22]

Interested chicks are MUCH more likely to mention a BF. There are MANY reasons why. Search the forums and you'll discover some real life reasons why, I haven't the time to elaborate.

But, don't take this the wrong way! She has a BF!

You cool w/ that?

Then, and only then spend time seeking WHY he was brought to your attention, learn it anyway, but don't let that that quest of knowledge stop you from interest in other chicks. And yea, the interest you have NOW!!!

Good luck.

 

[SexPDX]

I used to think that an interested woman would not mention a boyfriend. Mystery said that a while back and got all of ASF thinking it and it's just flat wrong.

It's an interesting coincidence that crowes22 replied to this thread because he has held the view he expressed here for a long time and I remember disagreeing with him about it on at least one occasion. Well, he's right.

Discussion of relationships is also a big component of Juggler Method. The trick is to make relationships a FUN topic to talk about. It's the beginning of a deeper level of rapport and you should welcome the dicussion.

If she does have a BF, that does not mean she might still hook up with me. In fact, she will feel BETTER about hooking up with me if her relationship situation has been DISCUSSED beforehand. I feel if a girl with a boyfriend is attracted to me and I have strong rapport with her, I can get her unless she is very satisfied with her current relationship (in which case I would want to let her be anyhow).

-PDX

 

[Shiftkey]

Often when a girl casually mentions a BF she's just using "him" as social proof. Odds are she doesn't even have a BF, or if she does she's just looking for the BBD.

 

[becker]

Wait, let me make sure I have this straight. This post is in support of the argument that when a girl mentions a BF, she is more likely interested than not interested? That's the first time I've heard that one. Interesting if true though. I'd love to test out that theory. Has anyone had this happen and then end up with the girl?

 

[htemorp]

I think this is a perfect example of people on this forum over analyze things.

If a girl says she doesn't have a boyfriend, it means:

A. She doesn't have a boyfriend.

If a girl says she does have a boyfriend, it means:

A. She doesn't have a boyfriend but she's saying it because she's interested in you and testing you
B. She does, but she's still willing to hook up, and it's a good sign.

OK ya, this makes perfect sense now.

 

[SexPDX]

Originally posted by becker
Wait, let me make sure I have this straight. This post is in support of the argument that when a girl mentions a BF, she is more likely interested than not interested?

That's not what crowes22 and I said. He said "an interested girl is MUCH more likely to mention a boyfriend (than if she were not interested)", that's different from saying "if she mentions a boyfriend she is more likely than not interested".

The point is not that her mentioning the BF is an IOI (it isn't necessarily), but rather that you should not assume disinterest BECAUSE she mentioned the BF and you should discuss relationships (and relationship SITUATIONS) whether she says she has a BF or not.

I hope that clears it up.

-PDX

 

[trajhenkhet]

There are no definates, only principles. As far as dating goes, if its one thing I have learned, it is this, there are no definites.

 

[htemorp]

there are no absolutes in life...that's the ultimate idea.

 

[Pepe Le Pew]

Some girls I've hooked up w/ have happened because I've been willing to talk about their boyfriends........almost like negative anchoring........telling the girl "you're so good" "he's so bad".......but like some of you said....nothing is set in stone to relationship interactions, so the more fun you're having the better........furthermore, most girls will vent to you........letting you know how dissapointing their relationships are.........coz they're w/ AFC's.......I also agree w/ the social proof thing...and what crowes22 and SexPDX said........................

 

[Y Trallwng Am Byth]

BBD?

IOI?

ASF?

What the hell are you guys on...

 

[-Zero_h0uR-]

Originally posted by Y Trallwng Am Byth
What the hell are you guys on...

... the Don Juan Bible , of course.


-- Zero-

 

[krd]

Originally posted by SexPDX
The point is not that her mentioning the BF is an IOI (it isn't necessarily), but rather that you should not assume disinterest BECAUSE she mentioned the BF and you should discuss relationships (and relationship SITUATIONS) whether she says she has a BF or not.

I hope that clears it up.

-PDX

I always thought you should avoid discussing topics like her boyfriend. Otherwise, she'll think of you as just another one of her girlfriends, and you'll be LJBFed before she even starts discussing her PMS.

 

[becker]

Originally posted by krd
I always thought you should avoid discussing topics like her boyfriend. Otherwise, she'll think of you as just another one of her girlfriends, and you'll be LJBFed before she even starts discussing her PMS.

Yeah, I thought that was the general consensus here too.

SexPDX, I understand what you mean, that's what I meant, but I guess it came across the other way.

 

[crowes22]

Originally posted by htemorp
I think this is a perfect example of people on this forum over analyze things.

If a girl says she doesn't have a boyfriend, it means:

A. She doesn't have a boyfriend.

If a girl says she does have a boyfriend, it means:

A. She doesn't have a boyfriend but she's saying it because she's interested in you and testing you
B. She does, but she's still willing to hook up, and it's a good sign.

OK ya, this makes perfect sense now.

First, thanks Nick for elaborating, I concur of course and know we are on the same page.

Guys I know this seems contradictory (what we are saying that is), but trust me you'll see it, but it does take time. First you have to be made aware, then in your interactions w/ women, you'll see it OVER AND OVER AND OVER, to the point it can actually become annoying.

The social proof aspect Shiftkey mentioned is dead on.

We are not saying if she mentions a BF she wants you, her saying that can be a sign, or maybe not, no absolutes, I agree.

Girls are INSECURE, big time, mentioning a BF gives her security, and also like Nick said to clear her of guilt for fvcking you anyway.

It is not hard to tell when she is mentioning him out of interest or as a "I'm taken" statement. But you have to work for the answer, like Nick, Shiftkey and myself did. Search the forums, it's not even hard work. Then get out there w/ the hotties and check it out!

There is no magic key to this. You simply have to make yourself aware.....then you'll notice things happening around you and TO YOU that you were oblivious to for some time.

Again: It's not hard to tell when she is mentioning her boyfriend because she really wants YOU!

Motivated?.....Good.

 

[becker]

I still can't quite tell whether a girl is mentioning her BF out of interest or as an "I'm taken" thing. Could you elaborate?

 

[Ol'BlueEyes]

counter-strategy

I always try to pre-empt this problem by asking girls "so, where's your boyfriend," especially if I'm at a bar dancing away. If they mention that he's away/out, I go for a neg hit: "He's not with you on a Friday night? Mustn't be much of a guy."

I'm always a bit surprised at how many women admit they don't have one when I ask them. It's more than you think.