My 'boy' sold me out

[laxplayer]

I am so sad.

Not because of girls, parents, work, or whatever - but because the guy I thought would be my friend till the end just sold me out.
We have been friends for like 6 years and he is AFC through and through.

Anyways we meet these two girls a few weeks ago and he likes both of them. I start puttin the mack on and BOTH girls like me. I pick the cuter one and mack on her even more. I - of course - ask permission for me to go after her and he says he is cool with it.

He said that he only wants friendship but he always hits on them online. He asks them really personal questions online (like if they give *******s, if they are virgins, etc etc) that he would NEVER do in person.

So one thing leads to another and I end up at the cute girls house at 11pm and we make out and have a really good time (almost got caight by her parents lol ).

I figure he should know that I like this girl I tell him that I was at her house. He immediatley wants to know how far we went so I tell him 'we made out for an hour'.

Kiss of death.

Yesterday we hang out with the girls and she is acting all pissed off at me for some reason. I act cool and act like it isnt fazing me (it isnt cuz i figure girls play games all the time).

Today we all hang out together again and she pulls me aside and says :

'i was pissed at you yesterday b/c i thought you dont kiss and tell but I heard from someone that you told them that me and you made out for an hour'

I responded with

'i only told my boy that I was at your house'

She seemed cool with that response but then she went on to say that this cant happen because she still sort of likes her old boyfriend and a bunch of other bull.

It seems to me that she is scared that people know for some reason.

The thing is that I dont really care about my relation with this girl -but I am more pissed about the fact that my boy ratted me out on purpose.

He is more than my boy though - he is a family friend. Is it worth it for me to confront him about it? Especially considering I am goin back to college in New York (Im in California now) in a week?

Im really sad and upset that my own friend could do this to me.

Thanks for your help
Lax

 

[DJ_Dork]

Your friend's not really your friend.

 

[Chaos-Knight]

Next the Friend! lol

How about "revenge" or Satisfaction"?
Or just confront him about it - or not.

I'd stop giving this person your time...
Go make new friends,
And when it comes to your ladies
don't even tell your AFC friends Anything!
especially if they know the girl.

 

[TesuqueRed]

Originally posted by laxplayer
...It seems to me that she is scared that people know for some reason.

Easy: ASD. Reputation.

...-but I am more pissed about the fact that my boy ratted me out on purpose.

He is more than my boy though - he is a family friend. Is it worth it for me to confront him about it?...

Im really sad and upset that my own friend could do this to me...


Don't confront--he's an AFC and wuss and would only apologize and explain and play if off (like you did when the girl confronted you, btw..) but wouldn't otherwise change. If you really need to hear that song and dance, then be my guest, confront him.

Now you know something about him.

It's not all his fault--the girl was right--don't kiss and tell. They kiss and tell all the time, but that's them. Rules are different for you and me. Learn to be discrete and you will acquire "class" that the women will notice on you.

I've run across a few--very few-- people (men and women) who are discrete and won't share everything with their friends. What do I notice about them--? They have a certain sense of class about them that others don't have.

Something to think about.

 

[-dM]

Ask your mate what he said to her.
Maybe he was trying to be funny and said something along the lines of

"I heard you were getting it on with so and so for an hour last night *wink* *wink* *nudge* *nudge*"

OR, he could also have said

"HAHA, making out for an hour with so and so. You're so easy!"

Just talk to him about it. I'm willing to bet he said it the first way. An honest mistake. Nothing worth getting rid of a mate over. Remeber, he is your friend, not some random girl you just met so things work a little differently in the whole NEXT'ing department

And I agree with Chaos-Knight about not telling your AFC friends anything. Not unless they are willing to learn the way of the DJ yada yada.

 

[laxplayer]

I dont know how he did it but I just have a feeling that he did it with an intention.

But Tesque you are COMPLETLEY right - NEVER kiss and tell - it makes you look like an schoolboy. I should have never told anyone anything.

Any ideas on how I can repair the damage with the girl? I sort of turned her off or at least made her a little hesistant to go at it with me again.

Out of ideas
lax

 

[GQ Prettyboy]

Does an ass whoopong rings a bell? Since he couldn`t keep f*cking mouth shut. You may need to close it for him.

 

[laxplayer]

not only is (was) a close friend but he is also a very close family friend so it is NOT in my best interest to fight him.

im just leaning towards not even confronting him about it but never telling him anything again or ever hanging out with him when girls are present.

i dunno

im still wondering what i should do about the girl now?

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

Personally, I would confront him about it. I would take it as locker-room talk we fellas do all the time. We say what we say, tell our stories, but, what is told in the locker room stays in the locker room.

He's a b*tch made male that needs to be taught some lessons about keeping sh*t private. So he's got oneitis with this girl, big whoop, you asked - he said it was cool - yet, he still ratted you out. Personally, I think of my boys before my b*tches. But, if I had no luck with the chick, and you did, then hell - bang her for me too.

Next time, like others have said, keep the details yourself. If he asks again what you and the girl have been up to, give him a big grin and say "All I do when I get to her house is eat icecream and bake cookies" hahaha..he'll beg for more details, but, don't give him any more rope that he can hang you with.

 

[KiInCollege]

You said your friend is AFC? I don't think he mistake was malicious i.e. I don't think he meant to injure your cause. It may have been an honest mistake. AFCs are idiots when ettiquete involving a female is concerned. Cut him some slack, or better yet, teach him.

"NEXT YOUR FRIEND" what kind of bull**** advice is this?! Girls come and go. A good friend is an uncomparable asset.

 

[Phrozen]

Your problem isn't your friend here.

The first problem is the girl, she doesn't want to be with you because people know about it now? WTF is that.

Secondly, the only way two people can keep a secret is if one of them is dead. You shared some not so important info with a close buddy and he blabbed. So what, you are the one who started the talk. Not him.

Third, he most likely doesn't know any better. He might like this girl, but it doesn't sound like he knew thats the way she would react.

 

[TesuqueRed]

As for the friend:

--dead on about AFCs being morons about etiquette around women. Cut him some slack. It wouldn't be a confrontation, you could just make a simple comment that "dude, if I say something about XX, you just don't go running to them and throw it in their face---you embarass me, you embarass them and it's just uncool." Maybe someone can come up with better words...

Then let it drop.

And he get's distanced, so-to-speak, where you don't reveal anything to him that can be used against you. He just lost some privileges and gets dropped back down the line. Think of HS friends who you're no longer best buddies with now that you all are older and going in different directions---this is what's happening between you two.

___________
As for the girl:

This may not be salvagable. Don't sweat it, you learned something and the cost of that knowledge is her. We all would like free stuff, but sometimes you have to pay for what you get. Be glad you got it kinda cheap -- imagine if she was a fiance!

 

[little_brown_bear]

just don't ever tell him anything that you can't risk being spread. i had a similar situation from a friend too. so now i'm very careful about what i'll tell him about.

 

[DJ Chubby]

My thought process after reading is that he ratted you out on purpose. He may try to make it seem like it was an honest mistake, but even an AFC isn't that dumb to just blow your spot like that.

Deep down, he's jealous of the fact that these girls are giving you attention and he knows he isn't capable of garnering the same attention. So he tried to even the playing field a bit by blowing up your spot. If he's not going to get it, why should you?

I know it sounds kinda screwed up, but trust me, there is definitely jealously involved between guys when it comes to girls. He might be your boy when it comes to other stuff but when it comes to girls, especially ones that he are interested in, he will be very envious if he can't have the same success as you (which he can't).

I am 99.9% sure this is the case. My advice to you is: don't break off the friendship, don't confront him because even if he does apologize doesn't mean it won't happen again, and just don't approach or do things with girls with him around. It may seem hard at first but if you want something that will last, having a jealous friend around will not help.

Don't kill the friendship though.. I'm sure he's not a bad person but he can't handle the fact that you got the suaveness and he doesn't.

 

[( . )( . )]

Originally posted by laxplayer


He said that he only wants friendship

yeah i could see how you fell for that......actually no i cant wtf.

forget about honour and loyalty if hes an AFC , when chicks are involoved your mate literally cant let opportunitys like that pass.

 

[tiburon]

LOL...

Man all i can say --don't kiss an tell--- try to follow that rule---trait of A REAL DONJUAN!



Tiburon

 

[00Kevin]

http://www.askmen.com/money/mafioso_60/98b_mafia.html

Trait #4: A real man doesn't gossip
A real man keeps his mouth shut. He shelters information and rations his words. A real man does not reveal more than he has to, and doesn't engage in girlie talk about others. A real man doesn't discuss things he doesn't know about, or people he has never met.


your friend isn't a man

 

[TesuqueRed]

Just building on Chubbs' post here--he has a point: it was probably a manipulative little play in a game where you could get the girls' attention and he couldn't.

LAX is thinking about the long-standiing friendship (bros before...etc.) and the long-standing family connections while said friend is pulling punk moves.

LAX--don't sweat it, he's a chump and you've had your head and heart in the right place all along. He's proved himself, so have you.