oakraiderz2
Master Don Juan
Throughout my life ive NEVER given 100% at anything i did. I would always do just enough that i was capable of to get by. In school i never really tried, i would do as little as possible. When i would play sports it would be the same thing. I would practice but never hard enough. Even with all the stuff ive learned here,i never gave it EVERYTHING i got. When i see people doing things as hard as they can and not doing as good as they should have, it makes me wonder whats the point of trying so hard. There have been times when i would study my ass off for a test only to get a D on it. For me its REALLY hard to take time for something only to end up f*cking up.
The thought of being mediocre my whole life is an unpleasent thought. The results that i get or have gotten for the amount of effort ive put in are DAMN good; however, im getting f*cking sick of not putting in more effort or taking risk. I dont know what could be worse than FAILING at something when i expect to be the best. I guess the the thought of failing is the biggest problem that i have and i suppose rejection is a part of that. Being shy or whatever is bullsh*t, a focking mask to protect my wellbeing.
This whole time i thought i knew what the real problem was, conversations. But what does anything matter if you cant actually apply it. Too many times ive held back because of what i thought people would think. But WHO F*CKING CARES! No longer am i gonna fockin merely get by, i need to soar like i know i can. F*CK THIS!!
The thought of being mediocre my whole life is an unpleasent thought. The results that i get or have gotten for the amount of effort ive put in are DAMN good; however, im getting f*cking sick of not putting in more effort or taking risk. I dont know what could be worse than FAILING at something when i expect to be the best. I guess the the thought of failing is the biggest problem that i have and i suppose rejection is a part of that. Being shy or whatever is bullsh*t, a focking mask to protect my wellbeing.
This whole time i thought i knew what the real problem was, conversations. But what does anything matter if you cant actually apply it. Too many times ive held back because of what i thought people would think. But WHO F*CKING CARES! No longer am i gonna fockin merely get by, i need to soar like i know i can. F*CK THIS!!