My Best Friend's EX plus Me, Sex, Alcohol, Rumors & Truth Dilemma

omgwtfm8

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This is really not a long read, please give some advice and input to the following:

Background Info:

Best Friend - I'll just call him Joe.. I known him since back in the day since grade school (4th grade maybe). He's my best friend. He helped me when I was down, we supported and did everything together. He started going out with a girl who I met through him. They got serious, "fell in love" for about a year and then we graduated.

Best Friend's Ex-GF - I'll call her Ashley. I met her after she started going out with Joe. Joe started to really fall for her and they were in love. Me and Ashley always got along from the start. Always joking around etc. I was going out with someone at the time and then I eventually had a bad breakup. I would hang out with Ashley and Joe at the same time sometimes. Ashley would give me advice about my breakup etc.

I become single, we all graduate. Joe goes away to college 5 hours away. I became really close with Ashley. We talked about everything everyday. Summer comes, I see Ashley a lot because she's in the same social circle. Eventually we start partying together a lot for a couple of weeks towards the end of summer. Joe's away @ College, doesn't know what to do with Ashley, They were working things out still. They are so far apart. They try to work it through. Then shortly later decides to break up with her for good.

As I hang out with Ashley a lot, rumors started that me and Ashley hooked up. Joe hears these rumors. He believes them, and stops talking to me. Me and Ashley are puzzled because we know they are not true. We continue to laugh off the rumors and get along great still. We act very sarcastic about everything.

We still continue to party a lot and then Halloween night, We go to a Philly for a bus ride trip to some club. We pre-game, get really drunk, and accidentally (i guess i should say) end up hooking up on the bus ride and dancing all night @ the club, she was saying she wants to fvck and talking dirty to me on the way up. Then we get back, she gets naked with her friend (girl) and we have a 4:00am dance party. and end up fooling around more. We were ridiculously drunk. No sex though.

Time passes, we try to forget that night but think it's funny, but don't tell Joe. Joe never finds outs what really happened. But Joe hears more rumors, Me and Ashley tell each other everything and joke sarcastically about being in a relationship.

My friendship declines with Joe, we started not to talk to each other while he was away. Time passes, Me and Joe eventually make up and he was convinced the the rumors were nothing.

Sigh of relief from me and Ashley.

My friendship with Ashley declines a little amongst the "hookup", and my friendship with Joe increases.

Eventually me and Ashley makeup, forget the past and start being close and friendly again. Then she really was excited to see me and she comes down visit me @ my college.

Well we get along great, get drunk again, party, hookup, have SEX. Laughing the whole time, We agree to not tell anybody, and still get along great, and joke around about us fvcking.
Days past and me and Ashley still talk everyday, get along great, etc. Me and Ashley, don't really have feelings for each other, we just like to have fun, and party.

Now I'd figure she'd realize it's not a good idea to see Joe anymore just because of all the damage that has been done.

Me and Joe are real cool now, but doesn't know me and her fvcked, me and Ashley are supposed to keep it secret.

From your experience, what's going to happened? How should I act?

Ashley should avoid seeing Joe this weekend due to the circumstances don't you think?

It seems as if i betrayed a Joe, Ashley single since July 2006. It's been 6 months since they broke up. Is it still wrong?
 
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Livinlifehard

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I am not going to lie... you put Joe thru way to much stress... if i was him and i found out i would come down there and do something to you... i wouldnt care about her because i would just concider her a Ho from that point. Girls are replacable... best friends arnt... trust me on that. You should have not put yourself in situations like that with her... I never hung out with my friends girls while they were gone (and i lived with another couple too) because of that... You just ****ed over a best friend, now your going to get jelious because she is going to want him more because he isnt as accessable as you are, and your going to feel guilty. The reason i am being harsh is i was in joes situation once... and lost a best friend over it, i couldnt trust him anymore and i do a lot for friends.... plus i dont think he wanted me as a friend after what i did to him. Girl cheating just reduces my intrest in them, and makes me think of them as a slvt, a Best friend that she cheated on me is betrayal.
 

sav

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it seems to me you and ashley both dont give a **** about joe, so you two would make a perfect couple :crazy:
 

Pimp-sicle

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That was incredibly long, especially if you take into account the size -4 font you used to type that whole thing out...LOL

Anyways on to your situation. First of all you should be fuvking ashamed of yourself dude. If this Joe guy is supposedly your best friend, then you'd never hang out with his chick so much, especially since it was very obvious that you were attracted to her. If Joe can't trust his best friend, who can he really trust?? If you really have any game at all, you should easily be able to pull a girl that doesn't have a history with your best friend. The worst part is, you don't really even feel bad about it. All you care about is finding out whether this slvvty Ashley chick really wants you, or is just playing you.
And don't even try to say you don't like her, because if you didn't care you wouldn't be here posting about it.

So what's going to happen?? Nothing. This chick obviously isn't LTR material and if you end up with her if she ever splits with Joe then your a chump because she'll end up cheating on you too. This girl is young, insecure and just wants to have fun. If you get attached to her anymore, you'll surely get one-itis (if you don't already have it) and get played.

Even though its low what your doing, I'll give you some more advice on how to handle it since I know your going to keep hanging out with her regardless of what anyone says here. Don't see her as much. If you do, you'll get more and more attached. Start meeting more girls and keep her on the side. Remember she's a slvtty party girl, she should be your fuvk buddy and nothing more because she's proved to you that she's incapable of being loyal and she can't tell the truth. I'd see her 3-4x a month MAX!! Otherwise you'll end up on the losing team and be in deeper shiat than you think.


PS: Never trust a girl EVER! Don't think for one second that she isn't capable of turing this whole thing around and blaming you for trying to hook-up with her if thing don't go her way. She'll run to Joe and since he's a chump too, he'll probably end up taking her side.




PIMP
 

SuSHI

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you are a piece of dog doo doo. Man this is the kinda thing that you will look back on yearsfrom now and regret. But you know what sucks? Your regret will only grow over time, not decline. And remember karma
 

You essentially upped your VALUE in her eyes by showing her that, if she wants you, she has to at times do things that you like to do. You are SOMETHING after all. You are NOT FREE. If she wants to hang with you, it's going to cost her something — time, effort, money.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

omgwtfm8

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Ashley and Joe have been broken up way before our first hooked up. They were going on weeks without even talking. Technically she didn't cheat. But they are kinda off and on, but never got back "together". They are friendly.

I'm only saying that she shouldn't really see Joe so soon because of what has happened, not because I want more of Ashley. I'm not attracted to Ashley. I wouldn't want to get into anything with her.

The damage has been done, I think she should dwell, chill, and me and her need to wake up.
 

JPFromTally

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You say, "Me and Ashley, don't really have feelings for each other, we just like to have fun, and party."

Yet you don't want her to keep seeing Joe....

Who are you kidding?
 

Ripper

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JPFromTally said:
You say, "Me and Ashley, don't really have feelings for each other, we just like to have fun, and party."

Yet you don't want her to keep seeing Joe....

Who are you kidding?
Exactly. Well said.:up:

I'd hate to lead a life being a slave to desire.
 

Latinoman

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omgwtfm8 said:
From your experience, what's going to happened. How should I act?

How should you act? Like a Man.

A Man has a LOT of respect for his true friends.

A Man recognizes the importance of respecting and being loyal to his BEST friend.

Here is the thing...we have no choice on who is going to be our fathers and brothers. But our Best Friend? We have a choice as they don't become our best friend due to "chance". They become best friends because they earned it.

You are acting like a person that have problems finding women. Like a person that is envious of "Joe". And more importantly, like a person that has ZERO value for TRUE friendship. A person that allows a woman to control his emotions and values.

Dude...once you learn how to become a Man (a true one)...then everything else start falling into place.
 

Latinoman

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omgwtfm8 said:
Ashley and Joe have been broken up way before our first hooked up. They were going on weeks without even talking. Technically she didn't cheat.
No excuse. You are STILL betraying his trust. Which is the only trust that truly matters in this issue.
 

Charm

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You are a terrible friend and I am glad you are not one of my friends. Joe deserves better than you and you use "having fun" as an excuse for having no integrity and backbone to support your friend at all. You are pathetic.
 

omgwtfm8

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I need to mention that Ashley has been single for 6 months before the first hookup. Does this change anything?

Joe and Ashley weren't together and Joe never said anything about me hanging out with her, and Ashley never said anything about if she was still "talking" to Joe.

Does this change anything?
 

Latinoman

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omgwtfm8 said:
I need to mention that Ashley has been single for 6 months before the first hookup. Does this change anything?

Joe and Ashley weren't together and Joe never said anything about me hanging out with her, and Ashley never said anything about if she was still "talking" to Joe.

Does this change anything?
Change nothing.

Betrayal is betrayal.

You betrayed HIS trust.

Do you thing Ashley cares about you or Joe? She can move on. She was only a year or 2 in your lives. But joe and you? You guys has been friends for at least 10 years! Perhaps, more than half your life!
 

omgwtfm8

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Update: Rumors are starting, I haven't been asked directly, but people have been asking my friends about it.

I obviously headed towards the feeling of regret, giving the circumstances, What should I do, does a DJ ever lie?
 
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