My Best Friend Tries to Bang My Girls

[gravityeyelids]

so over the past few years, i've become great friends with this guy, we'll call him steve. He's a cool, laidback guy... but something i've noticed that has been bugging me... He has this horribly annoying tendency to try to get with girls that are clearly his friends' girls.

For example, im friends with his roommate, jake. The two of them are band mates and (supposedly) really good friends. Jake confided to me one time when we were partying that Steve has been constantly hitting on Jake's girlfriend, and he wasnt sure what to do about it. Jake is a beta dude and gets really jealous easily and is pretty insecure.

A few months ago, in my hometown, i met this cute, tall blonde girl. We hooked up after the bar, and she was digging me. So we made plans for her to come visit me at school and party a bit later. The implication is clear here: she's clearly with me. She's coming up to visit me, and staying in my apartment, in my bed, and we're going to have sex because we didnt get to the first time we hooked up.

This is common sense: you wing your buddy and don't hit on his girl. Steve came out to the bars with me and this girl when she came up to visit. but from the first beer he had, he CONTINUALLY HIT ON HER to an annoying degree. I don't mean the playful, innocent flirting that you typically do with your best friend's girl when you're drinking or whatever. I mean like touching her and basically everything short of making a move or kissing her. This continued the entire fvcking night. Untill eventually i got rid of him and proceeded to bang her once he left.

I was unsure what to do. I'm not going to fight or hit the guy; he's a close friend of mine. I was hesitant even to call him out because i didn't want to A) start sh!t while drunk, B) come off as a needy, insecure guy to this girl. To be fair, he was very drunk. I kept shooting him glances and stuff, but he should know better. I would never try to get with a girl my good friend was sleeping with.

Here's the rub. Apparently they've still been in contact via Facebook or whatever. I noticed a bit after that he became friends with her on FB. Okay, whatever. No biggie. I've also been seeing him comment on her sh!t, and visa-versa, and her post on his wall. And even in his comments he's blatantly flirting and putting winky faces and sh!t. I dont want to be a psycho, but this is honestly very disrespectful, seeing as how they had never met in their life prior to her coming up, and have no mutual friends or anything to connect them. You're trying to tell me that a red-blooded, straight, american male is talking to a 6 foot tall, busty, attractive blonde girl and just being friendly??

I havent brought it up with either. Honestly I don't even talk to this girl anymore. I really don't give a sh!t about the girl. I just find it disrespectful. Mostly because i'm at school until i go home for the summer. I was going to hit her up once i got back to my (her) hometown, but now i doubt it.

It's to the point where i don't like hitting him up to go out and party anymore because i dont wanna have to deal with his sh!t. I'm a bit concerned because this other cute girl whom we're both friends with, that i've been gaming for a while, is coming up to visit next week and Steve and I will be partying and going out with her. Now, there's no "dibs" on girls for the most part. But if you're with a close friend, and a cute girl is attracted to you, it's common man-courtesy to establish that you're going for her, and for your friend to help you out and facilitate you banging her.

What is the best way to handle this if he does it again? I'd anticipate that if i confront him, he'll either get really defensive and angry, or simply brush it off and say "chill man, i'm just being friendly", and then proceed to keep doing it.

TL;DR: My best friend started flirting with and talking to a girl that i slept with behind my back, when he has no previous connection with her and i find this very disrespectful and am unsure how to confront him or deal with it.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

This is why I go out alone. Sleeping with my girlfriend or flirting with them is one thing I won't put past any of the guys I hang out. Especially the way they talk about girls, their buddies girlfriends and women in general. I have one guy who is to shy to initiate contact with women at the club or bar, so when he sees me gaming a chick he will try to talk to her to and butt in to the conversation. Its so damn annoying, and I am not willing to compete with some sloot at the bar. Another friend of mine will tell me "Hey if you don't start gaming this girl better or I am jumping in" And you know what I respect that and enjoy the challenge. At least he is man enough to tell me in my face straight up like a man. Opposed to my other friend who just waits for me to game a chick and waits a few minutes and inserts himself in the conversation and tried to flirt when he has no balls of making his own contact with women by himself. I know how it is when one of your boys girlfriends come on to you or flirt with their eyes, I have some weird experiences with that for what ever reason.

I wouldn't call this guy Steve a friend he is an acquaintance and somebody you socialize with. If you feel he is being disrespectful, bring it up indirectly. For example if you see him doing it to one of his buddies or mutual friends, ask him a few days later how he feels about that or what does he think about it, does he find it disrespectful. As for the blonde I would wait for her to hit you up to gauge her interest, seems like she is moving on

 

[Tictac]

He's a parasite.

Get rid of him.

 

[jurry]

Definitely a super douche move on his part, never heard of someone doing that.. Why are you friends with him?

Thats a tough call, on one hand you can play it cool flirt with other girls and dont pay attention to it which seems to have worked with the first girl. If you confront him and make a big thing out of it you do look butthurt..

Be interested to hear other peoples thoughts

 

[gravityeyelids]

Definitely a super douche move on his part, never heard of someone doing that.. Why are you friends with him?

Thats a tough call, on one hand you can play it cool flirt with other girls and dont pay attention to it which seems to have worked with the first girl. If you confront him and make a big thing out of it you do look butthurt..

Be interested to hear other peoples thoughts

I'm friends with him because aside from the things i mentioned, we get along great. We work on projects all the time and are basically partners in crime and hangout all the time, drunk or sober. He's super reliable and always there for me when i need him to do me a solid, and visa-versa.

To be honest, this is like the only incident. I can't think of other times where he's done stuff like this. I'd chalk it up to him just being super drunk and fvcking up, however, continuing to contact her after rules that out.

In addition, last time we went out with Jake and his GF, Steve was super cool, and wasnt hitting on Jake's GF at all, so maybe jake talked about it with him.

If this was something that keeps happening when we go out, i would probably have talked to him about it already or stopped hanging with him. However, it's really only just this one time. And i'm not even sure if he's talking to the blonde a lot or whatever...it's just that the two posting on each other's FB suggests they are.

I dont want to jump to conclusions and start sh!t over something prematurely. I guess i'll just see what happens. If he does it again, then action will need to be taken.

And PeasantPlayer, as for the blonde, i don't even care. i'm not even trying to game her. Honestly, i kind of pumped and dumped her. Had her come up and we had sex and i politely responded to her texts in the few days after, but we just didnt talk after that because my hometown is like an hour away.

 

[mikey2012]

You let him move in on your bitvxh. Never let a guy do that . Hos before .....

 

[YawataNoKami]

He is not your friend , period.

 

[Lozboss]

Is this a joke post?

This guy isn't your friend- he's a parasite as Tictac said.

Get rid and make friends who have got your back.

 

[zekko]

You may like the guy, but it sounds like he has a major flaw. I'd quit hanging around him.

This relates a little to something I was saying in another thread, about male friendships. Men tend to compete with each other as friendly rivals. This is the nice thing about female companionship, women don't compete with you, they occupy their feminine space while you occupy your masculine space.

Really, you had no long term plans for this girl, so maybe this guy was just positioning himself for his turn after you were done.

 

[Suspens]

Here's the rub. Apparently they've still been in contact via Facebook or whatever. I noticed a bit after that he became friends with her on FB. Okay, whatever. No biggie. I've also been seeing him comment on her sh!t, and visa-versa, and her post on his wall. And even in his comments he's blatantly flirting and putting winky faces and sh!t.

And why are you surprised? You didn't give a fvck while he was touching "your" girl in front of yourself lol. You acted like a ***** and it's a turnoff.

 

[BrainDamage92]

Well I have this bud, him and his cousin used to be thinck as thieves, then his cousin stole his GF

I remember when I was with my gorgeous ex, my friends of course, werent blind to her beauty, but were never flirting or anything, this is low dude, a guy who does this, even if he was considered a friend before this, becomes trash in my book. I dont run around stealing my friends girls, hell even when a random girl whos flirting with me tells me she has a boyfriend BUT... But what? But youre a ho? I hate this its a turnoff. Ive had women of people I know flirting hard with me but always turn them down. Ofcourse Ive had girls who are taken and cheat with me but very few cases, and honestly only when I was cheating as well. But this is low behaviour. So I treat everyone accordingly.

Also think about the fact... its harsh but... Are you a respectable person? Because whe nyou command respect noone will do this to you, and maybe if you change your thinking abit, and the people around you change with it, you would be happier?

In the end, many men became females with a co*k. Solidarity between us is getting thinner and thinner but still, I dont have any friends who are like that. Men who are willing to break a friendship couse they sensed the smell of vagina are week and meek and **** them man...

 

[Bingo-Player]

this all comes back to respect

i dont care how good friends you think you are with this guy , when it comes to mating the game changes everyone wants to get theyre **** wet and you need to have “that talk” with your male friends otherwise you find yourself in a situation like the above

I have a few different groups of friends all with different levels of confidence with women but mainly hang out with a bunch of seriously thirsty dudes there’s 4 of us including me....... and when we first started hanging out we used to clash badly over chicks even occasionally banging the same ones in the same night

This was ok for a bit with random slots not ideal especially for someone like me who isnt really into threesomes or sharing women but whatever at least i was having sex

This all came to a head when some of us started getting attached to chicks and others were still trying to hit on them ....conflict inevitably followed and there were a couple of fights

eventually we came to the agreement that if one of us displayed clear interest or made a fair call on a chick then the others would back off no questions asked

you cant give “the benefit of the doubt” when it comes to getting women into bed it dont work like that

 

[pyros]

he's clearly not your friend, so dont fool yourself.

If he tries to hit on your girl now, he will try to do other stuff in which you will be hurted/burned in the future. It could be next week, or it could be five years from now.
In any case, you cannot trust this guy. It doesnt matter that you get along very well, party like crazy, the fact that he always drives you home...all this means sh´-it if he does what he does.

Anyway, if I were you and I saw my 'friend' hitting on my girl I would tell him to cut the crap. Just say it once, in private. Dont get angry just say it, and let it be. If he stops, you can continue hanging out with him, if he doesn't you get rid of him.

Don't be silly.

 

[Bokanovsky]

He's a parasite.

Get rid of him.

This.

I don't know where OP got the idea that "Steve" is his friend. He clearly isn't.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

Agreements mean nothing, I seen these agreements before and they have been broken numerous times. When a attractive girl enters a circle all hell will break loose. There is the one guy who wants to start a relationship with her, the other buddy wants to date her and bang chicks on the side and make a example out of her. And then there is the other guys who just want a shot at the V. You need to tell this chick to bring some of her friends. You can't help who you are attracted to man or woman. If you are dating a girl, she usually is attracted to you in one way or another, but if you start bringing your friends along who is to say she won't be more attracted to them than you eventually....You might have a friend who is more confident, better looking, nice job, nice car. Not necessarily all of the above, but one or a few of those "qualities" It remind me of that Nelly Music video, the one where he moves in a new neighborhood and steals the guys girlfriend.....

 

[SgtSplacker]

One day I asked myself "how many things does a person have to do to be an ahole?" And do I want any aholes in my life at all? Maybe one? no?

Ask yourself this, really and honestly. Do I want to be surrounded by aholes? Do I want to be seen with aholes in public?

So how many ahole events to earn the title?

Is it 1,000 times?

Is it 5 times?

Do they have to perform an ahole act every 15 minutes to earn the title?

Is it just a single ahole event that does it?

Learn your number and keep people to it. Otherwise you will just gather aholes like an avalanche of shiit going downhill to your nearest bar or vagiina.

Me?

A single fuucking event is all it takes for me to lose your number and never call you again. One verified ahole move and you will never see my name on your caller id ever again. Take pride in yourself dude, cut that sucker off.

 

[devilkingx2]

if he purposefully tried to steal a girl that was yours then cut him loose forever

if it wasn't on purpose or if he wasn't trying to steal your girl, then give him a warning and keep your eyes on him for a while

 

[ThePiGuy]

Reminds me of this video I saw a while back, just apply it to your situation. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NvBKC_8TTao

 

[zekko]

It's always kind of bugged me in the movie "Pale Rider" where Clint Eastwood bangs his buddy's fiancé.

All's fair in love and war, I guess.

 

[RangerMIke]

If a buddy of mine can take a girl from me he can have her. I don't see what the big deal is.