My best friend is acting very wierd

[Credos]

Hey guys,

Me and my best mate go way back, we've known each other since we were about 5 years old. He's alwayse been a bit of an outsider from groups. At the age of 16 he couldn't say a good word about his parents anymore. Probebly because they have no confidence in him whatsoever. Most of the people in our class in highschool thought of him as kinda a wierdo. The teachers told his parents he probebly wouldn't be able to do more than a bachelor in college and so they kinda forced him into doing that.

So since college he got alot more popular, but still it was with ups and downs, sometimes he seemed pissed at people to which I couldn't really find a good reason to. When I talked about it with him it seemed he was kinda jealous, cause they made him feel inferior in some way. Anyhow recently that seemed to stop. In the last few years he quite some girlfriends, most of them pretty hot.

Anyhow, now he's acting really wierd. We talked and he told me about his future plans. He told me how he wanted to prove to everybody how "fvcking" wrong they are about him (he told it like this to me). He wanted to something great in the world, he wants to be remembered. When he told his dad about this thing of his, he just laughed at him. He told me it gives him insomnia, he constantly is thinking about how to forefill his dream.

Then he started talking about becoming more than just an average guy. So now he's studying super hard, neglecting his old friends, started working on his body, started playing games like chess, bridge and backgammon ("because he sucks at stategy", its training to him).

He started his bachelor and finished that in 3 years and now he's doing a chain program of 2 years to an engenier (like me). He wants to graduate as an engenier to surpass his father, then he wants to get a high economic degree to surpass his brother (and everybody else in his family). Then he wants to work for the biggest firm in Belgium and leave the country. After he earned "the big money" and gained "the experiance" hes going to start his own thing.

Than he was babbling about how he doesn't want to be a puppet like everybody he knows, but that he wants to be the puppet master. He wants to be the guy who pulls the strings...

I get most of what he wants, but still it all rather strange to me. Seems like he got some obsession with greatness...
Any advice or anybody who knows anything about these situations?

 

[Centaurion]

What is there to say?


It looks to me like he wants to take charge of his life and succeed in this world. I would wish him all the best.

:cheer:

 

[Credos]

I guess you're right, I'm probebly overthinking what he said but some stuff just sounded kinda strange, so thought i should ask an opinion from outside.

 

[synergy1]

looks like he got a taste of power and likes it. I see nothing but a all out effort to get what he wants, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. He might have been removed due to his boredom with people, and now sees a way to percolate above the masses. Some folks just don't do well being a monkey doing the 9-5 thing. His efforts in multiple areas suggest he might get bored easily...

 

[Warrior74]

This is the opposite end of the "should I ditch my old friends" question right here. The point is...do your friends accept and support the new you and your new found ambition? If not...let them go, they will only remind you of the crappy life you are trying to leave behind and keep trying to fit you into that mold.

 

[6-heads lewis]

he's a communist. Report him to authorities at once!

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

Though it may seem ironic coming from me, your friend is an egofiend right now. It takes one to know one.

I have often seen a man's ego stand in his way. But I have also felt the power of my thoughts manifest in my body, surging forward in an unfathomable torrent of will and sustaining me in challenging circumstances. Sometimes your ego holds you back, sometimes it has you scaling mt. olympus in your very soul.

I am only offput by his lust for control, it implies about his motives. A leader does not salivate at the prospect of holding men under his dominion, he bares it like a cross and takes responsibility for the well-being of those under his command.

I would not disown anyone for their ambition, but only if his motives were shallow and putrid.

 

[spider_007]

good for him.

 

[ENIGMA16]

It's a reaction to the way he was treated when he was growing up; it is not a healthy way to go about it and in the end he is going to be just as empty inside as he is now. He thinks in his head that all his life he's been the "puppet" and to be the "puppet master" he will hold all the power and that will get rid of all his issues stemming from being the "puppet". In reality we both (I mean you - the OP - and me) know that that isn't how the world works. There isn't really a "puppet" or a "puppet master". That's a false dichotomy that he's created in his mind and how he sees the world.

Until he realizes and accepts that this is a false dichotomy and not a real representation of the world he isn't going to grow out of his old insecurities. He uses that view primarily to escape from the responsibility of his own actions and beliefs; if that is how the world is actually divided up, then the problem isn't with his self but rather his position. He's just trying to fix internal problems with external band-aid solutions. That doesn't work. He could have all the money and power in the world and he wouldn't feel any better because he's not actually addressing the insecurities themselves.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

He's just trying to fix internal problems with external band-aid solutions. That doesn't work. He could have all the money and power in the world and he wouldn't feel any better because he's not actually addressing the insecurities themselves.

RIGHT> He´s trying to show the people how powerful he is. He´s still in the seeking approval mode. He will get there, but will be alone. He may feel powerful because he´s setting a goal, but this goal will not solve emotional problems.

Imagine how is the life of a soccer player who has EVERYTHING he wants?? Money, hookers, fame, power, status... It may lead to boredom.

 

[Credos]

RIGHT> He´s trying to show the people how powerful he is. He´s still in the seeking approval mode. He will get there, but will be alone. He may feel powerful because he´s setting a goal, but this goal will not solve emotional problems.

Imagine how is the life of a soccer player who has EVERYTHING he wants?? Money, hookers, fame, power, status... It may lead to boredom.

I guess he feels chained and held back by his parents. Guess that's where the puppet thingy came from aswell... He doesn't want people to control him, thus he sees being the puppetmaster as the only solution to that.

The fact of the matter is, HE is being held back by his parents. Well his mother actually, alwayse telling him he won't make it and that he can't do it. It must be very demotivating (I saw his mom once, damn that woman can nag). Yet on him it has a reverse effect, it makes him even more willing to reach his goals than anything else (and angry which I find understandable).

Even though he's strange, I must admit I admire him for that... He won't give up and he just keeps proving everybody wrong...

I hate the fact that some people still have so much trouble acknowledging that he really has alot of potential (especially his mother). Maybe that's what he's trying to prove, not his parents, not me but himself.