My afc friend always gets the hotties and now he has a 9

[Mr. Delicious]

It gets so frustrating watching this guy pull all these AFC manuevers (calling all the time, telling them he loves them after like 2 dates etc.) and i am getting nothing. He is a good friend of mine but one of the biggest AFC's I have ever met. He always gets girls but then he eventually scares them off after a while because he gets too obsessive and stalkerish. Tonight I got to meet his new woman on their first date. I say new woman and not casual date because everytime he dates a girl it always become serious. I dont think he has ever had just one date with a chick. Anyway, she is a waitress at Hooters and in my book probably a solid 9. I am watching him do everything wrong (talking about himself and how he loves his ex girlfriends and telling her she is beautiful) but she is just eating it up looking starry eyed at him. This is the same strategy he uses and it works everytime for about 6 months to a year of dating. UGH

 

[MindOverMatter]

What does he look like? Chances are, if the girl considers the guy to be hot and he acts like an afc, she wont care about that until the looks novelty wears off.

Good looking afcs have no problems hooking up, their main problem is keeping the girl.

 

[Bonhomme]

Let me guess...

He's very good-looking, right?

Combine that with an overall positive attitude and sense of fun, and that's all that one needs ... at least at first.

Stop noticing what he's doing wrong and learn from what is working. If he's got a good style, that tells you something. If he's just fun to be around, the other stuff won't destroy his game until after a few dates.

 

[Mr. Delicious]

No he is not hot. He is overweight, pasty white and red haired (not saying being red haired is bad but I am trying to give a better mental image)

Also he can be shy sometimes too and there will be that long awkward silence.

Update: He just called me because she asked him to stay the night with her. He was like do you think I should I dont want to ruin anything. Lucky bastard

 

[MindOverMatter]

No he is not hot. He is overweight, pasty white and red haired (not saying being red haired is bad but I am trying to give a better mental image)

Also he can be shy sometimes too and there will be that long awkward silence.

Update: He just called me because she asked him to stay the night with her. He was like do you think I should I dont want to ruin anything. Lucky bastard

Haha that is awesome. I'm very happy for your friend, wish more AFCs had this type of luck.

The only explenation I can think of is that there are girls out there who get hurt by players and guys with game, and eventually get sick of it and start to appreciate the AFCs. But eventually the novelty wears off and they go back to sleeping with their bad boy ex.

Also, some girls like having a doormat.

 

[Bonhomme]

Some sort of charm

OK. He's probably got some sort of charm, confidence, and sense of fun. One thing I noticed in your description of him is a lot of positivity. Some people can just light up a room with their good vibes. Learn from this, rather than criticising it.

 

[diplomatic_lie]

Some people do everything wrong and still become successful. Does this mean their principles are right?

No, it just means they got lucky. AFCs can get girls, but the amount of successful AFCs is much lower.

Look at the big picture, not random selections.

 

[ego]

Man - Stop looking at your AFC-friend and put the focus on yourself instead.

I know suckers, afcs, and ugly guys who's getting more girls than you ever can imagine. According to the "book" they does everything wrong, but why should I care?

Really. Focus on yourself instead. Me, I don't give a fvck if some idiot or AFC gets more girls than me. People are different, and what's important is what YOU do with your life.

I know people who's getting good grades in school and has good jobs, even tho i would do their job better. It's the same thing there - What matters is what I(read: YOU) manage to do - Not other people in the world.

Of course this doesn't answer your question, but it's something that will help you a lot.

Good luck.

 

[LuisGarcia10]

Who wants a girlfreind that's going to dump you after 6 months?

If your mate is head over heels in love with every girl he meets, who then proceeds to dump him, then he's going to have a very un-fulfilled life.

Sure, he can get girls, but what's the use if he sees them as the answer to all his problems and he gets dumped after half a year?

 

[wolfie]

It's not the little technicalities of AFC behaviour that are unattractive, but the overall impression and frame.
Can you picture James Bond buying girls drinks, telling them they look beautiful and calling 2 nights in a row? Can you imagine women becoming turned off by this behaviour? Of course not, they'd still love him because he's James Bond and his overall impression is attractive despite the little things that might be considered AFC.
Maybe your 'AFC' friend makes an overall great impression (at least at first) with great body language, tonality, confidence, sense of humor, social skills etc, and can get away with his 'afc' tendencies.

 

[comote]

Originally posted by ego
Man - Stop looking at your AFC-friend and put the focus on yourself instead.

I know suckers, afcs, and ugly guys who's getting more girls than you ever can imagine. According to the "book" they does everything wrong, but why should I care?

Really. Focus on yourself instead. Me, I don't give a fvck if some idiot or AFC gets more girls than me. People are different, and what's important is what YOU do with your life.

I know people who's getting good grades in school and has good jobs, even tho i would do their job better. It's the same thing there - What matters is what I(read: YOU) manage to do - Not other people in the world.

Of course this doesn't answer your question, but it's something that will help you a lot.

Good luck.

This is one of the best posts I have ever read. More people on this site need to realize this.

 

[Bonhomme]

Ego and wolfie make some great points

Read those posts again.

Seduction isn't a "one size fits all" thing.

One can talk about themselves if their stories interest the gal, and she would rather listen than talk. Just as a small-talk challenged man like me would rather listen to an interesting gal, some gals are ata a loss for words, and prefer the guys do the talking.

Same thing with flattery. Flattery is not bad in and of itself: when it's a transparently false attempt to get someone to like you, it tends to be a turn-off. It all depends upon the spirit from which it's done.

I've gone a bit overboard with challenge and may be a bit too disinclined to offer sincere compliments when they're called for at times. Overcompensation for prior sins. This post is a good reminder that sometimes gals are not always so cynical.

 

[AFK Protector]

What's your point? It almost seems to me as if you've found an example of an AFC (your friend, and your former self) that ipcks up girls. Is this to serve as an excuse of some sort? You said it yourself. He dates them for 6 months - 1 year. I bet he doesn't even get laid and the girl is f***ing someone on the side. Is he rich? Because then he's being used and I laugh at him.

I don't care how many AFCs get girls. I don't care if all the AFCs in the world get girls and I'm still single. Because in the end, the path I'm taking, that path that we're all taking, will be the more worthy one.

 

[huge_guy_pimpin]

Originally posted by AFK Protector
What's your point? It almost seems to me as if you've found an example of an AFC (your friend, and your former self) that ipcks up girls. Is this to serve as an excuse of some sort? You said it yourself. He dates them for 6 months - 1 year. I bet he doesn't even get laid and the girl is f***ing someone on the side. Is he rich? Because then he's being used and I laugh at him.

I don't care how many AFCs get girls. I don't care if all the AFCs in the world get girls and I'm still single. Because in the end, the path I'm taking, that path that we're all taking, will be the more worthy one.

thats right
if i never get another single women to even come near me, im fine with that, cause all the afcs ****ing those hb9+ are just doing afc things!
and im the true dj

 

[Mr. Delicious]

Ok first of all this guy isnt rich and he ALWAYS bangs the girl. Read my update its like the 4th post. As far as what they see in his overall picture i dont know what they like. Around girls he is usually negative, to me he seems like he has little confidence (he bites his nailsalot, sits with arms folded, if his girl talks to a straner he gets insanely jealous) Also, he has this weird quirk that if he gets nervous in a social situation he will just leave randomly and not tell anyone. Around friends he is more comfortable but will still exhibit the traits mentioned above.

I know I should be thinking about me and I was just waiting for someone to post that, it was inevitable. However, this situation is just so weird I have to get some feedback cause I just really have no clue why these hotties always dig him so much. And yes I am glad he gets girls and I do really want him to find one and be happy.

 

[skeeloo]

i know a couple of afc's that get dates regularly and end up in even a L.T with beautiful women must be something about them that attracts these women, then again some girls want a guy they can walk on. a girl told me one time that im too stuck -up. when in realityIM not. just becos im confident. also i have seen in some situations where the better looking the guy the more women act *****y towards him.

 

[Surfboard]

Your friend is probably good at reading body language of the girls. Instead of wasting his time chasing girls with low interest, he chases the ones that have shown signs of high interest.

You can get away with a lot of mistakes when the girl has higher interest in you than you have in her. Eventually, the girl will snap out of this infatuation mode and see your friend as he really is. Once she gets back to reality, then all the mistakes your friend was making will now turn the girl off.

End of relationship!!

My advice to you is to keep practicing the stuff you learn on this site and spend your energy on interested girls.

 

[water]

I agree with the view that not all AFCs cannot get the girls. Guys, diff. strokes for diff. folks. Simple as that. I have seen it myself too...my best friend is an excellent e.g. A few other friends also got their wives this way (AFC) and happily married for over 10 years. There are some girls who will find C&F unappealing and prefer a cozy teddy bear type treatment; there are others who like to be challenged (for them C&F may work better). If someone is AFC, yet funny and have other appealing qualities, there is no reason why some girls won't feel pampered and fall in love with him.

I think while we are looking for the right one for ourselves, we need to bear in mind one thing: generalization is dangerous and ignorant. Counterexamples do and WILL always emerge. Stop believing that C&F is always going to work; step into the real world and you will know. Nothing will always work. Girls you get via C&F may not even be the one you want to keep! Best is to be an in-between - able to be C&F and WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT, inject in some romantic AFC-typical kind of talk (only if it truly reflects what you feel of course).

 

[SamePendo]

Well then, simply go back to being a AFC, or at least try acting like one again.



Now, do you want that?


Absolutely not!

If the success of your friend continues to bug you, you've got a problem (I have that same problem too, I think). Maybe switch friends, just do something to keep you from being miserable.

 

[m4a1]

He's doing something right, why are you hating?? You mentioned what he did wrong rather than what he's doing right, then why does he get HB's? Everything happens for a reason. Understand that.
Yeah, even afc's get women, that's why they're called "average".