[MUST READ] SMASHED MY PERSONAL BEST – 7 days, 5 dates, 4 lays. Here’s what I learned

[3agle 3yes]

-You do realize that when a girl flakes on you at the last minute that you were about #3 or #4 in the line up right? She doesn't perceive you as high enough value. You are simply a back up plan.

Even though you went on to say it's not always other guys, I'm lead to believe it's statements like these that make me agree with @BeTheChange that deep down in the recesses of one's mind "nexting" girls might be ego driven.

I will first say that the number 1 reason why most women flake is because they don't really know the person they're meeting up with (anecdotal evidence and I'm pretty sure statistics can back me up that flakes occur MOSTLY with cold approaches).

Not many women with high smv are willing to put aside several hours with someone that they just met (and can potentially end up disliking).

Setting up a "date" puts her on the spot and many times she'll agree only because she's afraid to say no and is more comfortable pulling out at the last minute.

When I set up "dates" in the past it made many women think I was courting them and this immediately made them back off. Not to mention if they don't back off, many expect second and third dates.

All round, setting up "dates" is wrong, wrong wrong!

This is why I don't prearrange dates and sometimes I will tell them we should only hang out for an hour or less to see how it goes (counter-intuitive, I know, but it works).

I don't expect every woman to see me as high value IMMEDIATELY, most of us live in cities with populations of millions. Visually most guys look like the next, unlike women where looks are much more valued. So what if I'm a back up plan initially? What facts does anyone have that relationships end up bad when a woman shows low interest from the beginning anway?

Sometimes there isn't any other guys, and she just doesn't have enough interest to go out with you at the present time. It all indicates lack of interest. Girls that are totally into you like they need to be don't blow you off or play games.

Elaborate what you mean by "at the present time"? So do you agree that low interest doesn't always stay low?

Now that I've mentioned it what does "interest" mean anyway?

Internet search:

interest
Verb
1. the feeling of wanting to know or learn about something or someone.
Noun
1. excite the curiosity or attention of (someone).

Without littering this post with definitions, interest by it's very definition is SUPERFICIAL. Interest can COME and GO very quickly.

So to put more eloquently.

A woman who has HIGH interest in a man can become a woman with low interest with the same man within an INSTANT.

But, equally.

A woman who has LOW interest in a man can become a woman with HIGH interest with the same man within an INSTANT.

Bear in mind WE (as men) shouldn't be putting high interest in women until it is earned either.

Conclusion:

Don't pay too much attention to interest, the more important question is whether she is attracted to you or not.

If you are in sales, do you keep meeting with potential customers that aren't sure if they want to buy what you are selling and cancel meetings you have arranged, or do you go after the ones that show more promise and less flakey behavior? I know what the hell I do. I have too much self respect to tolerate b.s. Only weak people put up with crap.

Sales is different, in sales all customers are the same. Not all women are the same...if ONLY low quality women were interested would you be satisfied?

Besides your argument is FLAWED because I (or we) already mentioned that I (we) don't invest a lot of time in the women, if you read my earlier post I commit very little. I don't arrange anything, I simply invite them to where ever I am and if they don't like me they can continue with the rest of their day (I pretty much communicate this)...who has time to spend several hours with every woman anyway?

The benefits of low commitment is it releases their inhibitions and puts them at ease. They know they can leave at anytime and that I don't expect anything from them (they don't think I want to date them).

After all, this is the number 1 reason for flakes.

 

[Shootin4Dreams]

Where did you meet those guys

 

[The Duke]

QUOTE="3agle 3yes, post: 2389231, member: 118176"]Even though you went on to say it's not always other guys, I'm lead to believe it's statements like these that make me agree with @BeTheChange that deep down in the recesses of one's mind "nexting" girls might be ego driven.

I will first say that the number 1 reason why most women flake is because they don't really know the person they're meeting up with (anecdotal evidence and I'm pretty sure statistics can back me up that flakes occur MOSTLY with cold approaches).
Then how does one expect to get to know someone if they never meet up?

Not many women with high smv are willing to put aside several hours with someone that they just met (and can potentially end up disliking).
I've never had this problem, perhaps they see my SMV equal or greater than theirs. I have some female friends/relatives with high SMV that have shed a lot of light as to what its really like. Perhaps something similar could benefit you.

Setting up a "date" puts her on the spot and many times she'll agree only because she's afraid to say no and is more comfortable pulling out at the last minute.

When I set up "dates" in the past it made many women think I was courting them and this immediately made them back off. Not to mention if they don't back off, many expect second and third dates.

All round, setting up "dates" is wrong, wrong wrong!

This is why I don't prearrange dates and sometimes I will tell them we should only hang out for an hour or less to see how it goes (counter-intuitive, I know, but it works).
I don't see a difference, all you are using is a "play on words". Twist it up however you want, the end result is the same. You meet, eat, drink, talk, do some activity, etc. Call it a date, a meet up, a hang out. Its all the same. I had a friend try and convince a girl that they were on a meet up, not a first date....she wasn't impressed and didn't understand the difference either.

I don't expect every woman to see me as high value IMMEDIATELY, most of us live in cities with populations of millions. I don't either, but I do expect them to be attracted enough that they take me seriously. If they don't like me afterwards, that's fine. But if they make plans with me and cancel before we have met, that is simply rude behavior that I don't tolerate. I don't give females too many chances, and don't give a free pass on flakey behavior. Nor do I give men chances like that. Just not in my DNA. Would you flake out on a job interview an hour before you were supposed to be there if you were interested in that job? I sure as hell wouldn't. It conveys low interest when you do.

Visually most guys look like the next, <--Really, you should ask some female friends if they agree. unlike women where looks are much more valued. So what if I'm a back up plan initially? What facts does anyone have that relationships end up bad when a woman shows low interest from the beginning anway?
I've had a lot of women to draw my conclusions from. I've had women with slight interest, low interest. And every single time those relationships were far more work, and resulted in far more flakey behavior. I had to run way more game on those girls and put up with more bs.

The best relationships I had were all with girls that were very interested in me from the start. There were no games, no flaking. They always agreed to whatever date plans. Never told me no. They didn't try and steer things in their direction for their benefit. They left me with no doubt that they wanted to continue getting to know me. They returned texts/calls promptly. It made dating very easy.

Elaborate what you mean by "at the present time"? So do you agree that low interest doesn't always stay low? Low interest doesn't always stay low, but it always results in more difficulty/uncertainty. I've had girls that were super attracted to me and thought I walked on water. They treated me like a King. Never experienced that from those with low interest that was always up and down.

Now that I've mentioned it what does "interest" mean anyway?

Internet search:

interest
Verb
1. the feeling of wanting to know or learn about something or someone.
Noun
1. excite the curiosity or attention of (someone).

Without littering this post with definitions, interest by it's very definition is SUPERFICIAL. Interest can COME and GO very quickly.

So to put more eloquently.

A woman who has HIGH interest in a man can become a woman with low interest with the same man within an INSTANT.

But, equally.

A woman who has LOW interest in a man can become a woman with HIGH interest with the same man within an INSTANT.

Bear in mind WE (as men) shouldn't be putting high interest in women until it is earned either.

Conclusion:

Don't pay too much attention to interest, the more important question is whether she is attracted to you or not. I guess you keep talking to girls that don't return texts/calls? lol, I sure don't .
Sales is different, in sales all customers are the same. Not all women are the same...if ONLY low quality women were interested would you be satisfied? Low interest women are flakes. Flakes = Low Quality.

Besides your argument is FLAWED because I (or we) already mentioned that I (we) don't invest a lot of time in the women, Not sure how you arrived at this, never said anything about investing a lot of time. if you read my earlier post I commit very little. I don't arrange anything, I simply invite them to where ever I am and if they don't like me they can continue with the rest of their day (I pretty much communicate this)...who has time to spend several hours with every woman anyway?

The benefits of low commitment is it releases their inhibitions and puts them at ease. Agreed, but we are talking about "interest", not commitment here. They know they can leave at anytime and that I don't expect anything from them (they don't think I want to date them).

After all, this is the number 1 reason for flakes.[/QUOTE] Not at all. The majority of women expect some form of commitment sooner or later. They flake because their perception of your looks, personality, etc wasn't high enough to agree to whatever was planned.