MusicMan450's Journal of Growth

[MusicMan450]

MusicMan450's journal of personal growth

I know, I know, I'm basically stealing this title and format from NorwegianDJ, but hey, it works well for him, maybe it'll work well for me.

I'm doing this for three reasons:
1. So that the community can give feedback
2. So that I stay motivated throughout the process
3. To keep a journal for myself to reflect upon

I hope that some of you will offer feedback and support. If I do something stupid, I expect to be chastised. If I seem to be heading in the right direction, let me know that as well.

Background information​

Physique
I'm 16, I weigh 140lb, and I'm approximately 5'8''. I'm slightly built, as I've been working on health and fitness since the turn of the new year, but no really strenuous programs.

Style
I have a more "forward" sense of style for my age. Instead of ripped jeans and band tees, I prefer a button down with a pair of nice levis. I enjoy formal wear, and on some days I'll find myself being very dressy-casual. Still trying to find the right hairstyle to offset the fact that I have a rounder jaw-line than some men. I'd say I'm fairly attractive though.

Interests
Nothing in my life comes before music. I play euphonium and trumpet, and I'm always working to better myself. Everyone knows me as the guy that's really into music. Now, I can't woo a girl with a trumpet like I could a piano and my voice (which isn't that great), but it definitely gets people talking. When with friends, which is often, I'm constantly joking and making people laugh. My friends are close, and I even have one that I could call my brother with no problem.

Relationships
I've had 2 girlfriends in the past. The first was a UG3, maybe 4 at best, and it sometimes even turns girls off knowing that I settled for that. The 2nd was a slvt that I totally AFC'ed on when she broke up with me, but when I went back to her I made sure to be the one to break it off the second, and last, time. I'm currently spinning 2 plates, one that goes to my school, and another that lives about 30 minutes away.

Goals​

• Focus more on my music.

• Get back into my regular exercise regime.

• Quit drinking soda. I did for 2 weeks, but started again. With Lent coming up, it's perfect.

• Don't AFC anymore. I've built a lot of confidence and I've partially found myself with help from SS over the past month. It's time to push myself harder.

• Become a leader. I'm in JROTC, which gives me chances to climb leadership ladders, and brass captain auditions for next year's marching band season aren't too far away.

How I'll do it​

I'll keep this journal posted, which should help me stay motivated.

• Practice 1-2 hours a day at home on my primary instrument (euphonium)

• Run a mile at least once a week, if not more.

• See if I can get a pass into the school weight room. Go there twice a week or more.

• Drink more water, drink lemonade only at restaurants.

• Keep my confidence up. My friends are great at helping with this.

Now it begins...​

Well, there's no turning back now. If you guys want to know anything more, just ask. I'll be making my first post tomorrow after school.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Approved!
I find that what I tell people the most at the moment, is that if there is something that scares you, then ask yourself why you're scared. If the answer makes sense to you, then dont do it. Too many people think that "being scared" is a legitimate reason NOT to do something.
Good luck.

 

[Amo]

Hey dude, welcome to the forums. You sound like you could become a DJ with no sweat. Don't be afraid to say anything out here, most of us our good guys, save the occasional troll.

This'll sound awkward, but where do you live? I live in Bahrain, and Norway lives in South Africa, and BPH lives in Delaware - DJ tips are pretty much universal, but a lot changes between the environmens. SA is a lot crazier than quiet ol' Delaware, and Bahrain is somewhere in between. I think it'd just give us a better idea in the future if we knew roughly where you were (even the state would be enough).

Physique
You sound okay. As long as you're at least average, you'll be fine. But being healthier never hurt.

Style
I think I read this in Conquer Your Campus, but the general rule is don't overdress. A little better is good, great even, but anything than a little better will screw you over, I think. What you say you wear sounds okay, but don't confuse close-mindedness for fashion-forwardness. Wear those t-shirts from time to time - personally, I hate ripped jeans, so I won't say anything about those. But in high school, anything too dressy isn't too good, I think.

As for your rounded jawline, get some stubble or facial hair, if you can. Short sides and a taller top to you hair will also take focus away from the jawline. It works for my not-as-round-but-still-kinda-round jawline.

Interests
I like that you have such a passion - I'm still floating around looking for my passion. Maybe it's my near-ADHD, but I have trouble sticking to things these days. Being passionate about something is great. I do admit though, I had to look up what a euphonium was...

Jokes aside, sports would probably be a good thing to take up. Anything you like, take up. I'm looking to take up dance (hip-hop, not that wimpy ballet stuff) once my physical fitness has gotten up a bit.

Don't be worried if you can't strum a guitar and sing - it's really not that important. Just play to your strengths. You have them, you just have to find them. (I'm still looking for them. )

Relationships
The fact that you're even spinning plates puts you light years ahead of most of the guys in this forum, including me. That's great! How hot are the chicks?

Goals
Fruit juice (with pulp or pure, not that wimpy Sunny D) stuff, is a good alternative to soda. If you really can't get rid of an addiction, carbonated water is alright.

Do you already have a solid idea of what you're gonna do in the gym?

Music is a great confidence booster. I usually have "Magic" by B.O.B., or really any pop song, blaring on my speakers first thing in the morning while I dress. Some days I even wake up to music. It really does wonders to your happiness/confidence (to me they're mostly the same thing).

Conclusion

Yes, I'm almost done!

I've said most of what's on my mind. What Norway said is right too. Listen to him, he gives good advice, and he can do it in a lot fewer words than me.

Good luck dude, I'll be checking this thread often.

 

[MusicMan450]

Thanks for the tips guys! I've been living by a slightly similar philosophy, and it's basically "why not?". When I'm about to do something that gets me anxious, I just think of why I wouldn't do this thing, and that helps decide whether it's a good idea or not.

Amohield, I live in South Carolina. I forgot that this isn't just an American board...
As for overdressing, I rarely do that. Admittedly, on days that I have a concert I'll wear a tux, which is our concert attire. Although, I usually have my bro doing wearing one along with me, and it usually gives off the whole "these guys are musicians, and they know what they're doing" vibe to people.
When I try something new, it's usually welcomed with compliments, and I've even noticed some people taking up some of my style choices. I do wear tees every so often, they just don't make up my entire wardrobe like some people.

As for the girls, the one that lives farther away is definitely HB9.5, and the other is about an 8.5.

I do not know what I'll be doing in the gym. I'm going to see if I can get a friend to start going with me, and we'll figure it out as we go along.

Now, for the actual "journal" part of this FR.

One thing that you should know, and I'm not sure whether this is detrimental, is that I text a lot when I'm at home. I'll usually talk to a girl on the phone at night just to chat, but not during the day since I'm always busy or the house is full of noise. As I write this, I'm texting the 9.5 (Let's call her HB Moon) and the 8.5 (Let's call her HB Sun. I say this because they're very different, you'll see later).

The last time I hung out with HB Moon was last Saturday. She's extremely shy, and wouldn't even let me put my arm around her in front of her aunt (her aunt is 17 and is dating my bro, that's how I know her. It's a weird age thing, since Moon is 15). Although, when we got some time alone, she did loosen up. The issue of dating has come up, and we agreed that it's a little soon to do that. In fact, I quite enjoy spinning plates. I just might hold off dating for a while longer.

I've never actually hung out with HB Sun outside of school, but we chill after school around the campus and stuff. She's very outgoing and hugs all of her guy friends when she sees them, but when she sees me she nearly tackles me and I've even had my arm around her waist a couple of times, very nonchalant. Her friend kissed her BF in front of us today, and I noticed her getting a little closer to me and biting her lip. I know that I could have kissed her then, but it was in a crowded hallway. We can't have rumors being spread like that :nono:

Today starts my 1st day of not drinking soda. I've noticed that when I drink a lot of water, I never crave soda..

Me and my bro (we're best friends, so you'll just see me calling him my bro) are thinking of giving up masturbating for Lent, which starts this Wednesday. We'll see how that goes.

 

[MusicMan450]

I'm currently watching the first episode of RSD Blueprint: Decoded. It seems like I'm going to get a lot out of this program.

 

[MusicMan450]

Dang, double post

 

[MusicMan450]

You'll find out in the Blueprint that experience in the field > anything. "In the field" just means talking to girls but it sounds cooler.

I'm looking at this journal and only one thought pops into my head : "This guy doesn't need any help." You're taking control man, it's fcking great! (no homo). Did you read the Book of Pook? It's in my sig there.

VVV​

It's good stuff. Really promotes the natural style of game. That's the way you wanna go. No need for all that fancy Mystery method mumbo jumbo or crappy PUA techniques, just plain old "Hey, I am me. Let us commence in fucking!".

If you have any problems, post them here and we'll all be glad to help (except NorwegianDJ, he's gay). Don't be afraid to PM me if you have any specific problems or you just wanna chat (once again, no homo).

Wow, thanks, that means a lot.

I think my main problem is, I've had the change, I'm more confident, but many people still see me as the wimpy AFC from years past. It's high school, that's just the way it is.

I actually haven't read the Book of Pook, but I'll definitely read it when I have time, no doubt! My main goal that I forgot to mention is to not use any techniques. I don't want to become a PUA, I'm not even sure if I want to have sex right now. I just want to have a successful social life, and like everyone says, be the prize!

 

[NorwegianDJ]

I hope this song sets the tone for my post:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTN6Du3MCgI
Yeeees. I like them people taking control
And start closing them chicks! JUST CLOSE! (Ozzy voice)
And I can strongly recommend starting strength by Rippetoe
http://startingstrength.wikia.com/wiki/Starting_Strength_Wiki
Awesome that you're watching the blueprint. You are really taking control.

And read this twice, its exactly what you need right now:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=180552

JAKES ON YOU, IM AN OCTOPUS

 

[MusicMan450]

I've read that post before, but I'm going to read it again before leaving for school. Thanks!

 

[MusicMan450]

There's nothing much to post about today... It was a really slow day socially. Although, I will have a chance to meet some new people at the All-State band clinic (first chair, hell yeah) this weekend. It's going to be just me, my bro, and our band director. She's really chill, so me and him may be able to sneak off and meet some people. SC has some sexy band girls for some reason

I'm not sure whether I'll be taking my laptop or not, depending on the hotel situation. So I might be able to update daily, I might not, we'll see.

I found a gallon water canteen today in my closet, so I'll start keeping that around, as well as having a water bottle at school to curb my thirst for soda.

Although today was slow socially, I think it was just due to the weather. Every day it seems I'm feeling better about myself. There's this really cute, hipster/nerdy looking girl that approached me last week saying that I remind her of her guy best friend that moved away recently, so I might strike up a conversation with her in the near future, see if we have any common ground, all that jazz.

 

[MusicMan450]

Just realized that my biggest problem is going to be one that I mentioned earlier: Getting past my previous image as an AFC guy who dressed and acted like a fag.

I have a few guys that rag on me and try to spread stuff about me being gay, and they, unlike most other people, haven't caught drift of my "change". How do you think I should go about dealing with these guys?

 

[Marvin Gaye]

Music is the sh!t dude. Nice journal its making me want to start one myself, although you and I are pretty similar, kind of eerie!

I'll keep track of this thread.

 

[Amo]

Jeez, you guys' schools always seem more drama filled than mine. I have hardly anyone spreading rumors about anyone.

But just make a joke out of the gay thing. Take it lightly - it's just a bunch of jealous bastards, so make a joke out of it.

 

[MusicMan450]

Hell yeah, awesome day. I'm pumped for the weekend, had a night out on the town with my bro and some friends, had some girls checking me out in my Class A (JROTC) uniform. Of course, I was out having a good time, I wasn't going to bother myself with some tourist chick that would take anything she could get.

There's a lot of that down here. Either they're A. With their boyfriends and hanging over them ALL THE TIME, or they're B. Here looking for a one night stand before they leave. Most of them aren't even that good looking. HB 6-7s at the most, and why lower my standards if I know I could do better?

Although, I need to go back out soon, just me and my bro, no other girls hanging around. I've never done a full-on cold approach in a public setting. The time is soon. Very soon.

I got to thinking today about masculinity. I was talking to a few friends (who are very AFC) today, and asked them what they think it means to be masculine. The answer I mostly got was something to the effect of "ripped, facial hair, serious face, and will knock you out if you mess with him"

I walked away..

The reason being, I realized a few days ago what masculinity really means to me. You can be the most hairless, most un-ripped guy ever and still be masculine. Sure, you'd have to work harder, because the big jocks have the advantage of extreme testosterone, but it's all about being comfortable with yourself, not taking **** from anybody, and JUST HAVING FUN DOING IT. The guys that I see as most masculine aren't the big-headed jocks that walk around with a serious face all the time.

In fact, my bro has got to be one of the most masculine guys at our school. He's big, in a chubby way, but he walks around the school like he fvcking owns the place. He's constantly making people smile, and because he's so fun to be around, he's a bridge between many social groups, and he's dating an HB9.5 senior (we're sophomores), HB Moons aunt. Hell, he's the one that inspired me to self improvement. If I hadn't met him, I'd probably be down the path of my previous "friends", getting high everyday and wishing I was surrounded by women.

Jazz band always gets me in this mood. I just break out the trumpet and I have fun with the music. Everyone gets pissed because they're struggling with it and it's "hard", and yes it is hard, if you let it be. So is everything else in life. But with music, if you just let yourself roll with it and let the melodies flow, your body rock, and your mind rest easy, you get this amazing sound that is uniquely yours, and that nobody can imitate. This is true success..

^^That's my new philosophy. Just replace all the musical stuff with life. JUST HAVE FUN AND ROLL WITH IT^^

 

[MusicMan450]

Approached 2 girls today.. There are some gorgeous girls in this band, haha.

I didn't get a chance to close, since I will be seeing them tomorrow, and the conductor was getting mad about everyone talking. But tomorrow should go even better.

 

[MusicMan450]

This past weekend was pretty great. I got a few numbers, but they aren't anything that I'll be pursuing. I look at them as practice for when I approach girls that are actually in my area (these girls lived 3-4 hours away).

HB Sun is definitely into me. I'm going to talk her up some more and see where things lead us, nothing too rash right now, I want to keep my options open.

HB Moon has told me that she likes me, but the long distance thing kind of puts her off, since we'd only see each other once every couple of weeks. I'm not going to bring it up again with her until the next time we hang out.

I need to get into a legit sleeping and dieting pattern. I've lost so much sleep, and we ate out for breakfast, lunch, and dinner all weekend. I feel so unhealthy right now.

Goals for this week:

Approach, approach, approach.
Eat better, healthier.
Exercise more. Even if it's not at a gym, at least get in some push-ups and crunches.

 

[MusicMan450]

Things have been going... odd.

I dropped HB Sun, since she's really touchy-feely and all over a lot of other guys, it kind of puts me off. There's a new girl that I met, we'll call her HB SM.

The SM stands for Selective Mutism. It's basically a non-permanent disorder that affects their speech, and in certain situations they shut down and can't really talk. She talks on the phone and texts fine, but escalation on this girl has to be really slow, or else I could freak her out. (Btw, she's about a 9 compared to the rest of the girls at school. Amazing body, electric blue eyes, about 4-5 inches shorter than me.)

HB Moon... Things have gotten a little weird. Her ex (Who goes to my school and is in band with me) still flirts with her through Facebook by posting crap on her wall, even though she tells him to stop. She keeps insisting to him that she wants to just be friends, but he won't get the hint, but she doesn't want to block him in fear of "being a jerk".

"HB MOON IS SOOO PRETTY!! And AHHHHHH!!! I wanted to see her in those BOOTY SHORTS! NO FAIR!! lol" -example of something he posted on one of her profile pictures

Last night she told me she wanted to date me exclusively, which is something I'd be happy to do, but she admitted that she needs a little more time to handle what's going on with her ex and to get her schoolwork back on track. I'll keep spinning plates until it comes up again.

I've only been drinking water or tea, so that's a go.

I've been working out more, and I've ran a few times. I have to try harder.


Question for you guys: In a high school environment where making out or kissing is seen as something that only couples do, how do you get a girl comfortable enough to kiss you before you're actually "dating"?

 

[dhizzyballuh]

Isolation, and a slow build of sexual tension
Just keep usin that kino to make her comfortable around you

 

[MusicMan450]

Hell yeah

I'm feelin' good guys. I've been talking to HB Moon a lot (we're dating now, in fact. She asked me today) and it turns out she isn't as shy (or innocent) as I thought.

Here's the story about her:

She lives about 30-45 minutes away, and she's pretty sexy, so she has a lot of "prospects" going for her, one of the reasons it was kind of hard to get with her. She's the quiet type, and she never even made out with the guy that she last dated, whom she dated for 6 months.

She jokes with me about how she can make me do whatever she wants or listen to her on anything because that's how every guy always has been with her, basically putting her on a pedestal.
I straight up told her that I wouldn't roll this way. I said that I don't let women have power over me in relationships. That day, I decided to test her "innocence" and kino escalated the fuvk out of her and made out with her, to which she later said "turned [her] on more than any guy that just falls over [her](;"

So yeah, I learned my lesson. This was a girl that had previously LJBF me before I came to this site, wouldn't even hold my hand. Be sexual

 

[MusicMan450]

So, turns out that this girl was a huge game player. She did all this, then dumps me because she wasn't "feeling the spark". Oh well, more fish in the sea, right?

Every day is feeling better. Today I found what the guys on leadership in JROTC call their "command voice", which is basically just the most masculine, dominant, booming sound that you can make, and after using it for commands, it kinda starts becoming a part of your normal talk. People respond when you have dominance JUST WITH THE SOUND OF YOUR VOICE.

I've been working out, doing some pull-ups and such, it feels good. I'm gaining muscle.

I've made a decision. I'm not going to chase girls for a while. Sure, I'll flirt like hell, but spring break is coming up, and I live 5 minutes from the beach. You better believe I'm gonna hook up with a few HB's next week.

So yeah, that's basically it for my recent endeavors.

Brotip: Why are you waiting for someone to validate you? The first person that should tell you you're awesome is YOURSELF