Muscleman's Path To All Things DJ

[muscleman]

Hello. My name is Muscleman, and I'm an RAFC.

For as long as I can remember, I've been a pushover and a chump. I landed my first girlfiend, who also happened to be my first kiss and first love, my senior year of high school. She was a freshman. Outside of school, we had 1 real date. I fell for her, hard. We broke up and got back together what seemed like a million times. After graduation, I went the summer only thinking of her. I improved myself, but couldn't get her out of my mind. I would cry repeatedly. I saw her once after the summer and she wanted nothing to do with me.

About 6 months later I landed my second girl who took my virginity at the most unexpected time and in the most unexpected way. I fell for her too. It lasted 2 months. Then came a nutcase that went on for 3 weeks. Had a couple dates here and there. I was so desperate I even drove 5 hours once to meet a girl.

Half a year goes by and I get into a 1 year relationship which turns out to be the biggest financial mistake of my life. We move in together. She can't hold a job and I sympathize, paying her part of the rent and other things, losing close to 10k and a big chunk of my savings. Then she cheats on me and actually wants to get back together. It drags on for a couple months. I rebound to another girl. She's hot as hell and I go WBAFC on her. She cheats on me after only 2 months.

Six more months elapse and I find myself in yet another dead end relationship. This was the worst. I can't believe I put up with the stuff coming out of this girl's mouth. We fooled around, but never even had sex. At one point she literally told me I was a bad person for having slept with several girls, but she was a good girl for remaining a virgin. This was the last straw. One day I snapped, told her "I'm done with your sh!t" and walked out. I never looked back.

I was fed up with the way my life was going. For the next year I searched for answers. I found the DJ community, took up bodybuilding, guitar, gave up video games (for a while at least) and read everything I could find on self improvement. I slowly became more social. I actually got compliments on being outgoing. I landed several dates and a couple ONS's.

At the beginning of this year things were looking good. In just my first month I went on dates with 4 different girls and ended up dating two of them simultaneously, a first for me. The sex was bomb and I felt great. Then "the talk" came with one and without a second thought I jumped the gun, went AFC, and agreed to exclusivity. I threw out my other options. I stopped lifting, started playing video games again, and sulked back into a mild depression. Complacency at its worst.

It was only recently that I realized what was going on. So I'm taking things down to casual and getting back into the game. I'm starting to lift again, I quite video games for the nth time, and I'm soaking up knowledge once more. I graduate in a month, I'll be going out into the real world, and I need to work on becoming the person I want to be. This serious monogamous relationship business is bad news, at least when you're 23. It's draining.

I refrain from calling this an approach journal or pressuring myself for X dates in Y days. Rather, I'd like to share my progress of becoming a better person, one that men respect and women go wild for. I'll need help from the wiser ones. From time to time I'll need motivation. Hopefully, I can help others as well.

The path to all things DJ starts here.

 

[muscleman]

Here's my current situation. I've been exclusively dating 1 girl for a little over a month now, after roughly 2 months of casual dating. Recently I started picking up on things and noticed she's not the person I thought she was. I should have known better. I should have screened better. Live & learn. It's a long long story and if you want drama and red flag entertainment, look no further: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=122823.

She's out of town right now. Me and another couple are going up to see her this weekend. We're all gonna drink, party, whatever. She's a party girl, so it's all good. But I'm done with this exclusive thing. I have girls very literally asking me to hang out, just shy of saying "come fvck me". And despite what she says, her actions dictate that she's not ready for a serious relationship. Read the above thread for more specifics.

Right now I have a grand total of 5 prospects, one of which I may follow up with next week. A lot of them are actually follow-ups.

1) Girl I've known online for almost 2 years now. I just never gave her the time of day. I guess you could call this super extended foreplay. When we do talk randomly, she invites me places and the convo always goes sexual. Invited me again for drinks this Friday; too bad I'll be out of town. Should be an easy lay.

2) Girl I've known for almost 4 years. We hung out once way back then, fooled around, then I more or less ignored her, but stayed in touch from time to time. The internet is a wonderful thing. We got together again a couple months ago and she was all over me, but by God her breath was bad. Total mood killer. I just can't bring myself to fvck something that stinks. She wanted to meet up this past cinco de mayo but I called it off. I'll follow up. This time I'll give her gum if she needs it.

3) Girl I've gone on a few dates with at the beginning of this year. I had a perfect opportunity to seal the deal but I was tryhard and AFC about the whole thing. She lost interest, but now it's back. She's leaving me messages and wants to go out for drinks to "catch up". It's on. This is the one I may follow up on next week.

4) Engaged milf in all of my classes. I've known her for over a year, though we only started talking this year. I initiated it when we had to choose partners for a quarter-long project and I asked her to work with me. She's been wanting to hang out for a while now, literally asking me to do so. I've called it off more than once, the most recent being going out for drinks on cinco de mayo. Although I want to lay her BAD, it's a delicate situation. She's in all of my classes, we sit next to each other, and I don't want my last month of college to be awkward because of something that happened one night. I told her we'll definitely go out after it's all over to celebreate. Ideally, a hit & split.

5) New girl I met off the net a few days ago. Actually she sent me a message almost a month prior but I missed it. I finally followed up and she went wild. Half an hour after the email she had me on IM, later texting and even calling that night. She comes off as a party girl and a little psychotic (texts at 5am and trying to make me jealous in the most obvious ways, before we've even met). I'm gonna string her along for a while until I'm ready for some psycho sex.

So far no other leads, but I'll start working on them soon. Gonna hit the gym tonight.

 

[comic_relief]

best of luck,

unfortuanately I won't be around to see you progress on your way to DJ-ism, but I expect good things.

Remember a few things, don't close doors to anything. Remember if one door closes another one is bound to open

Don't hate women because of what they are. Accept what they are and treat them accordingly.

Your happiness should be dependent upon you and ONLY you. No one else. Internalize it and live life.

Become very social.

And most importantly of all, have fun and don't take anything too seriously. Best of luck.

comic_relief

 

[muscleman]

Thanks for the tips, I'm definitely taking them into account. Where are you going?

 

[comic_relief]

Thanks for the tips, I'm definitely taking them into account. Where are you going?

leaving for summer break and losing internet connection as well. I might do short bursts of internet connection. That would be it though.

best of luck

comic_relief

 

[CRDJit]

Hey muscleman good work! Seems you're on the right path to becoming a true DJ. I discovered this site a couple of months ago after ending a relationship where I was completely AFC, and feel lucky because it only took one botched relationship to discover the wise words of Pook and all the others, and at a relatively young age (21)! Anyway, just wishing you the best of luck on your path to DJ, and thx for posting and being an example of what attitude RAFC should have!!

 

[muscleman]

Thanks! Interesting developments lately. For one thing, I notice when I drive, girls straight up stare me down. Of course I stare right back if she's cute. It's kinda ridiculous. I also find myself still passing up some opportunities, no matter how silly they seem at the time. For example, I just got drove my sister home from her friend's house. On the way back we stopped to get some fast food. The girl at the window was staring at me and wouldn't stop. I should have tried for a number right then and there. That's my biggest barrier right now - real life approaches even when I'm getting pretty obvious IOIs. It's something I really need to get past ...

 

[Interceptor]

I found it strangely amusing, and assuring to see women stare at me in my car in traffic. Normally people just create a self contained bubble around them, but somehow they break it to stare at me.
LOL, it's true, man.
It just goes to show you that there's something going on, fellas.
Mind, body, soul.
And intuitive women want to know what I've (and eventually, YOU, my friends) got.

Older women, young girls, MILFs, you name it. It's reassuring, I'll tell you that much. When they stare you down, you look right back at them, and smile. Say hello. Make it worth their investment.
It just keeps motivating me, and let's me know I'm on the right track.

Just add my two cents on this topic...

Keep on, keeping on.

 

[Microphone Fiend]

read a couple of your posts... Good stuff. I'm interested to see where it is going

 

[Aenigma]

Don't hate women because of what they are. Accept what they are and treat them accordingly.

I'm curious to know, what do you think women are?

 

[muscleman]

I'm curious to know, what do you think women are?

Different. Certainly not what the majority of guys believe. All the "hors, slvts" whatever labels are often used by AFCs as I'm coming to realize who just don't understand the mechanics of sexual relations. Anyway, I'm heading up with my buddy to see our gfs tomorrow. Should be a fun time. We'll see how it goes.

I'm really curious to see what (if anything) happens since all 4 of us will be sh!tfaced and sharing 1 hotel room

 

[muscleman]

Soo here's the update. I wanted to wait a while before posting anything new just to see how things went. Our trip together went extremely well. After our return, I helped her move to a new apartment the past couple days and have stayed over as well. We've been having some crazy ass sex, the I miss you's/texts are back, she's taking me out this coming week to "pay" for me helping her move, etc.

Honestly I think we just went through one of those rough patches, and it was at this point that I could either decide to next or solve the problem. I chose the latter. I do think we got a bit more serious, and the sex has been less about fvcking and more passionate once in a while. Though no worries, there's still plenty of hot "I need to get my anger out" fvcking :yes:

I don't feel like I've given anything up or compromised on anything in the process. If nothing else, I feel I've become more "man" out of this whole thing. I'm much more open about speaking my mind now and not really giving a sh!t if it upsets her. Most of the time, it doesn't and she's glad I brought it up, whatever it may be.

And for some reason, I think ever since that one time I nearly walked out on her she got a bit AFC (I love it when girls do that) and I definitely got my power back. I know some of you will be like "it's not a power struggle men and women aren't equal they're different, blah blah" and I understand, but this makes more sense to me. Now she'll ask me "are you ok/whats wrong" whenever I'm not 100% (usually nothing wrong I'm just thinking about stuff) gets worried/worked up if I don't return her texts right away (usually just busy at the time), and is happy to see me. It's a good place to be in.

So as of right now things are going well. She satisfies me sexually, she's definitely a giver, and we have a lot in common. I realize that I'm giving up a lot of pvssy to stay with this girl and I may be stupid for doing it from a more mature perspective, but at the same time I don't want to give up a good thing that could turn out great. I also have a lot of other things going on in my life right now and I don't have much time to spend taking out a bunch of girls. Pvssy on call is doing it for me right now.

I'm really interested in seeing where this goes. Although I don't have as much casual dating experience as some of the guys here, I definitely have my share of LTR experience, and I kinda know what works/what doesn't, a bit about keeping it interesting (even if it means stirring up some sh!t from time to time), and what I believe to be a decent understanding of long term seduction. This is gonna get interesting ...

 

[muscleman]

)(@*_!()**(#)@!*#

This girl reads my fvcking mind I swear. Just today I was thinking to myself about her true interest level and questioning things. I met her on myspace and for the longest time she kept herself single and didn't take any pictures of us/didn't put any up. I didn't say anything cause that sh!t is stupid I don't really care, but other girls I've met off there before who I've been involved with have done it. Recently we took some pics together/with group at her request. So I come home from the gym and waddayaknow - she changed it to "in a relationship" and put a pic of us as her default. Yea ....

 

[Zerix]

This is great stuff muscleman, I'll be reading this for sure.

One question though...

"I was fed up with the way my life was going. For the next year I searched for answers. I found the DJ community, took up bodybuilding, guitar, gave up video games (for a while at least) and read everything I could find on self improvement. I slowly became more social. I actually got compliments on being outgoing. I landed several dates and a couple ONS's."

How exactly did you start out and what steps did you take, any reading material you'd personally recommend or tips overall?

 

[muscleman]

Actually I read some articles on "how to get girls" on another site, then found sosuave. I read a few articles here, then found the message board and did some posting here and there under a different alias. It was recommended that I read a few books. I'm still finishing up the last 3, but here they are:

The Game by Neil Strauss
The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene
The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene
The Red Queen by I forgot
How to Win Friends and Influence Peope by I forgot

For lifting I just went to bodybuilding.com, joined the forums there and it kinda took off by itself.

I read a bunch on tips and did a few cold approaches. One landed me a date, the others bombed but it was still fun now that I think about it. I met a crap ton of girls off the internet.

 

[muscleman]

We're going out to dinner tonight, then probably gettin drunk, but before I go shower I got a quick thought. Something that struck me on the drive home from the gym.

It seems that in general people "lose themselves" when they get into a relationship. That is, a lot of guys stop working out (why should they?), girls get fat/don't dress as sexy anymore, etc etc. It's basically the thought process "well I'm getting steady sex now, so why bother with all this other crap". I know I know, "a man does those things to have an interesting life". But come on, there's gotta be a point where everyone loosens up a bit, and often a lot.

Which got me thinking, especially after getting 1/3 of the way through The Red Queen (evolution of human nature), that basically all we do is a means to an end - reproduction. For men it's imperative to spread their genes over as wide a field as possible, for women it's imperative to secure a single caretaker of her offspring (wherever that offspring came from). I'm sure Rollo will agree with me on that one. Sometimes it's sad though. It's like .. all we do we do just to spread some genes and beat out the others, that all of this social mumbo jumbo and hobbies and what not is, in the end, still mechanical. Like human beings are still machines like other species .. only much more complex. I can't think of a single thing that a person would take interest in that wouldn't in some way, directly or indirectly, increase his chances of spreading his genes.

And another thought, why the FVCK does this happen!? I have more pvssy available to me now than ever before. It's like, when you're single, it's all "meh", but the second you commit to 1 girl EVERYONE wants your c0ck. WTF?! This is kinda driving me nuts.

 

[Interceptor]

I have more pvssy available to me now than ever before. It's like, when you're single, it's all "meh", but the second you commit to 1 girl EVERYONE wants your c0ck. WTF?! This is kinda driving me nuts.

Happens to all of us.
It's called Social Proof or Social Validation. Add a little Demonstratign High Value, and you've got your Mack Supreme on.
Sigh.
It is what it is.
Just today I was talking to an attractive older MILF, and this one girl who doesn't obviously (I get scoped by chicks everywhere, so this girl is scoping me, but is more discreet about it) pay me attention saw me talking to MILF. Right away she was all smiles and nice and saying "Hi! How are you?" All nice to me now.
Later on as I walked away from the MILF, Girl no.2 approached me for convo.
Funny, huh?
During convo with No.2. MILF walks by and nonchalantly starts competing for MY attention. And girl No.2 starts to get jealous.
F*cked up, bros. Truly f*cked up.
But that's life. That's the Reality Factor. And we have to deal with it somehow.

 

[muscleman]

Well FVCK. I just broke up with my gf. Last night we went out to dinner. I come to pick her up and the entire night I don't even get 1 solid kiss or even a hi. Afterwards we go back to her place. This is a straight up repeat of a couple weeks prior to that. Some of her roomy's friends are over and she got sick so she went to bed while we all stayed up and drank. I ended up sort of passing out later. Woke up this morning still pissed off at the whole thing (not her getting sick but just the general lack of appreciation I've been experiencing lately). Told her about it, and of course she went and turned the whole thing around on me again, aknowledging only the "yea you can be mad at me for not kissing you" part, but once again justying it by saying something to the effect of "well I didn't want to be late and I was really focused". K. Cause a warm hello, hug n kiss takes SOOO much time, effort, and concentration. I couldn't really think of anything to say at this point and I didn't feel like laying in bed all pissed off and hungry any longer so I just got up and left. Thought about it on the way home and called her.

I basically told her that I'm not emotionally prepared for a serious relationship, but that I think she's a cool ass chick (she is), I have strong feelings for her (I do), and I'd like to see her and see where things go with us. She counters with her having trust issues and worrying about what I'm doing and with who isn't something she can deal with. This is the abridged version. About 10 minutes later I basically say that I would like to see you again, but this is my decision and I respect yours and if you can't see me because of this I'll understand. I then told her to get a hold of me if she still wants to see me and she said ok.

The thing that slightly floored me was how well she took it. I was expecting some crying on the phone or something. Nope. Maybe she is crying now, I dunno. Fvck it. I guess she wasn't really as serious as she said she was. Either that or she was right about her trust issues. Well whatever, I'm not gonna put my heart into someone who won't open up in return. At least I had the balls this time to end it before it got worse. Go me.

So I guess we'll see how it goes. If she contacts me, great. If not, well that sucks but such is life. I don't care how afc this sounds but I swear sometimes I just feel like crying. It's fvcking hard breaking up with someone. This is the second girl I've ever broken up with myself, and the first one I broke up with without her doing anything really wrong, which makes it even harder. So I guess that's a "good thing" that I'm evaluating more of what I want and qualifying THEM for a change.

I dunno guys, what do you think I should do? What about the convo? Anything I should have said differently? I've learned a lot the past few months and hope to continue doing so, but I'm still confused to all hell about a lot of things.

Fvck this is hard.

On the other hand, this is all a bit melodramatic and I do feel slightly relieved.

 

[muscleman]

Annnd we're back together, not more than 10 hours later. I'm gonna get off sosuave for a while. I need to focus on other sh!t. See ya guys in a while.