Hello. My name is Muscleman, and I'm an RAFC.
For as long as I can remember, I've been a pushover and a chump. I landed my first girlfiend, who also happened to be my first kiss and first love, my senior year of high school. She was a freshman. Outside of school, we had 1 real date. I fell for her, hard. We broke up and got back together what seemed like a million times. After graduation, I went the summer only thinking of her. I improved myself, but couldn't get her out of my mind. I would cry repeatedly. I saw her once after the summer and she wanted nothing to do with me.
About 6 months later I landed my second girl who took my virginity at the most unexpected time and in the most unexpected way. I fell for her too. It lasted 2 months. Then came a nutcase that went on for 3 weeks. Had a couple dates here and there. I was so desperate I even drove 5 hours once to meet a girl.
Half a year goes by and I get into a 1 year relationship which turns out to be the biggest financial mistake of my life. We move in together. She can't hold a job and I sympathize, paying her part of the rent and other things, losing close to 10k and a big chunk of my savings. Then she cheats on me and actually wants to get back together. It drags on for a couple months. I rebound to another girl. She's hot as hell and I go WBAFC on her. She cheats on me after only 2 months.
Six more months elapse and I find myself in yet another dead end relationship. This was the worst. I can't believe I put up with the stuff coming out of this girl's mouth. We fooled around, but never even had sex. At one point she literally told me I was a bad person for having slept with several girls, but she was a good girl for remaining a virgin. This was the last straw. One day I snapped, told her "I'm done with your sh!t" and walked out. I never looked back.
I was fed up with the way my life was going. For the next year I searched for answers. I found the DJ community, took up bodybuilding, guitar, gave up video games (for a while at least) and read everything I could find on self improvement. I slowly became more social. I actually got compliments on being outgoing. I landed several dates and a couple ONS's.
At the beginning of this year things were looking good. In just my first month I went on dates with 4 different girls and ended up dating two of them simultaneously, a first for me. The sex was bomb and I felt great. Then "the talk" came with one and without a second thought I jumped the gun, went AFC, and agreed to exclusivity. I threw out my other options. I stopped lifting, started playing video games again, and sulked back into a mild depression. Complacency at its worst.
It was only recently that I realized what was going on. So I'm taking things down to casual and getting back into the game. I'm starting to lift again, I quite video games for the nth time, and I'm soaking up knowledge once more. I graduate in a month, I'll be going out into the real world, and I need to work on becoming the person I want to be. This serious monogamous relationship business is bad news, at least when you're 23. It's draining.
I refrain from calling this an approach journal or pressuring myself for X dates in Y days. Rather, I'd like to share my progress of becoming a better person, one that men respect and women go wild for. I'll need help from the wiser ones. From time to time I'll need motivation. Hopefully, I can help others as well.
The path to all things DJ starts here.
For as long as I can remember, I've been a pushover and a chump. I landed my first girlfiend, who also happened to be my first kiss and first love, my senior year of high school. She was a freshman. Outside of school, we had 1 real date. I fell for her, hard. We broke up and got back together what seemed like a million times. After graduation, I went the summer only thinking of her. I improved myself, but couldn't get her out of my mind. I would cry repeatedly. I saw her once after the summer and she wanted nothing to do with me.
About 6 months later I landed my second girl who took my virginity at the most unexpected time and in the most unexpected way. I fell for her too. It lasted 2 months. Then came a nutcase that went on for 3 weeks. Had a couple dates here and there. I was so desperate I even drove 5 hours once to meet a girl.
Half a year goes by and I get into a 1 year relationship which turns out to be the biggest financial mistake of my life. We move in together. She can't hold a job and I sympathize, paying her part of the rent and other things, losing close to 10k and a big chunk of my savings. Then she cheats on me and actually wants to get back together. It drags on for a couple months. I rebound to another girl. She's hot as hell and I go WBAFC on her. She cheats on me after only 2 months.
Six more months elapse and I find myself in yet another dead end relationship. This was the worst. I can't believe I put up with the stuff coming out of this girl's mouth. We fooled around, but never even had sex. At one point she literally told me I was a bad person for having slept with several girls, but she was a good girl for remaining a virgin. This was the last straw. One day I snapped, told her "I'm done with your sh!t" and walked out. I never looked back.
I was fed up with the way my life was going. For the next year I searched for answers. I found the DJ community, took up bodybuilding, guitar, gave up video games (for a while at least) and read everything I could find on self improvement. I slowly became more social. I actually got compliments on being outgoing. I landed several dates and a couple ONS's.
At the beginning of this year things were looking good. In just my first month I went on dates with 4 different girls and ended up dating two of them simultaneously, a first for me. The sex was bomb and I felt great. Then "the talk" came with one and without a second thought I jumped the gun, went AFC, and agreed to exclusivity. I threw out my other options. I stopped lifting, started playing video games again, and sulked back into a mild depression. Complacency at its worst.
It was only recently that I realized what was going on. So I'm taking things down to casual and getting back into the game. I'm starting to lift again, I quite video games for the nth time, and I'm soaking up knowledge once more. I graduate in a month, I'll be going out into the real world, and I need to work on becoming the person I want to be. This serious monogamous relationship business is bad news, at least when you're 23. It's draining.
I refrain from calling this an approach journal or pressuring myself for X dates in Y days. Rather, I'd like to share my progress of becoming a better person, one that men respect and women go wild for. I'll need help from the wiser ones. From time to time I'll need motivation. Hopefully, I can help others as well.
The path to all things DJ starts here.
