Most Random ****block Ever

[RamboCS]

I gotta pretty funny rant I'd like to share. Note that this narration is meant to come off as angry, I'm actually amused by the situation.

I went to a concert a week or two back and went early enough to get front row. The girl to my right was a fatty, completely undesireable but the girl next to the quagmire troll was slammin'. She was a metalhead chick with a lip piercing, favorite band was Sonata Artica. My kind of woman, seeing as how I'm in rockstar training. :rockon:

Anyways, so the first band comes out, Echoes of Eternity, they are pretty gnarly. They actually had a female vocalist and she looked GOOD. I couldn't help but eye**** her the entire set, and being in the front row and only being a foot or two away she saw me checking her out. She was smiling back, she even pointed at me as she sang some of her words, she knew what was going on. So that band finishes their set, and I start making small talk before the second band with the girl next to me and eventually her friend joins in. Next up is this band Sanctity. They come and go, and the fat girl has been moved.

So now I'm finally next to the hot, blonde, metal girl with huge tits. We make more small talk, discuss some metal, I even offer to fix her bra for her at one point since she was struggling to get it comfortable, she just laughs, relaxing against me. Basically, jackpot. Jack-****in'-pot with a capital J and a ****in' thrown in for emphasis.

Why would I even consider such an occurance so solid, you might be asking, but let me remind you what a metal show is usually like. At most metal shows, you get sandwhiched between two fat guys that are 5 feet taller than you with teased hair that extends a half foot on either side of their heads and some nasty goblin broad trying to rub against you. Theres that shirtless guy covered in sweat that gets everyone soaked, the crowd surfers that boot you in the back of the head, and the worst of all, the famed "I'm GOING TO GET IN FRONT OF YOU" dude you gotta elbow fifty times in the head. Anyone thats been to a heavy metal show knows these various characters I've just described and have dealt with them as well. All except one. Hot blonde girl! How many hot metal girls do you see at shows? All right, 2 dozen you say, narrow the list down to the ones without boyfriends. Right, zero. ****in' nadda, zip. I lucked out and got a smokin' hot, single metal girl, there for the sole enjoyment of the music and not dragged into it by her bf. Let me give you a visual friends...

She's getting into Symphony-X and shes going wild, jumping to the music, rubbing right up against my c0ck 'n' balls, it was ****in' glorious! This was some concert. I slapped Russel Allens hand, actually made him drop the microphone (singer of Symphony-X) and got a guitar pick. They played The Odyssey, I saw The ****in' Odyssey front row. And all the while, a hot blonde was pushing firmly into my junk. So I'm just waiting for the quiet following the encore, when I'll finally get this girls number and maybe proposition her for some aftershow festivities. Not gonna happen though. Halfway through Symphony-X's set a roadie comes up and gives her and her friend backstage passes. :cuss:

I got **** blocked by a roadie! WTF is that ****? A song after she dissapeared I saw her waving to me from the left side of the stage, flashing me the horns and whatnot. I looked for her after the show but I couldn't find her. Oh how that upset me, I woulda been railing her to this day hadn't it been for the roadie. :cuss:

Anyone else got a random ****block? I bet no ones got one more random than that.

 

[backbreaker]

I remember one day.. I don't know if I would call this a random one, but definatly the most unexpected I ever had.. I took my old oneitis, who was my wingwoman, out to a bar.. it was usual. we had our routine.. we left each other alone when someone of interest came and talked to the other

this is a woman I ad tried to date for 5-6 freakin years with no luck. Sex in the past.... was not only not going to date me, she had a man at this present time.


There was a very cute redhead sitting 2 women down from me and her. She sat down. So I order my food, and get up and go sit next to her. We hit it off. She's REALLY cool. I'm already thinkin how it would be to fvck this woman..

My old oneitis comes and sites next to ME on the opposite side, puts her hand around me... I'm like...uh..okay... odd but oh well.. I try to introduce her as my buddy.. thinking I can make it into a social proof situtation. Nope. she intoruces herself..

as my girlfriend..

Then to make matters worse, after I was already pissed at her for fvcking up that, about 10 mintues later, I caught the girl looking at me again... I think she thought something didn't add up. So, for good measure, my oneitis, or old one, comes to me while I was coming back from the bathroom, and just slides her tounge so far down my throat I almost wanted to throw up. I was lik WTF is that!!!!

her response:"because I don't want you talking to her"

... but of course.. we weren't fvcking... it's like the blueball situtation from hell. I think she overestimated how i felt for her at that time, becaus eas soon as we got back I called for a check and took her ass home.

 

[ValleyDJing]

See here's what you do. You quickly grab her by the wrist and tell her to give you her number. Too loud? Just make the thumb and pinky finger sign for telephone and she'd have gotten the picture. That was no ****block. A ****block is when somebody tries to make the chick not want you. That was you expecting to have the rest of the concert to make your move, and not being bold enough to grab her number when you weren't ready.

 

[zerocelcius]

I got one...

My wingman/roommate got the 411 that the Girl's Swedish Softball Team was going to be at the club we were going to. He had talked to one of them and we were supposed to meet up with them there... GO WINGMAN!!!

On the way to the club...2 blocks away... we got hit head on by a drunk driver going the wrong way on a one way street. This guy was so drunk he got back in his car once the cops showed up and tried to drive away. His front end was touching his windshield. Not only did we not make it to the club (police reports & tow truck took forever), but my car was totaled.

Who knows what would have happened but I'll be damned if we wouldn't have tried our damndist!

Damn Drunken Sushi Chefs!

 

[RamboCS]

See here's what you do. You quickly grab her by the wrist and tell her to give you her number. Too loud? Just make the thumb and pinky finger sign for telephone and she'd have gotten the picture. That was no ****block. A ****block is when somebody tries to make the chick not want you. That was you expecting to have the rest of the concert to make your move, and not being bold enough to grab her number when you weren't ready.

I wasn't asking for advice, I already knew what I did wrong in this scenario, I thought I'd tell the story in a Maddox-styled rant though because I found the irony of the situation funny. Obviously the roadie didn't intend that to happen, thats not what I'm saying. I'm saying it was an unintentional ****block. I would've been "bold enough" to get the number and acted far sooner had I known she was going to dissapear halfway through the Symphony-X set. See usually when you get stuck next to someone in the front row of a crowded venue, they aren't moving until the last band is bowing. Neither are you. Otherwise, why would you wait in line hours before the show? Exactly. Plus, I was enjoying the music and grinding a bit too much to pay any attention to that matter, not until my ears stopped ringing at least. And not to mention getting pushed into the front barrier two feet away from a loud heavy metal band leaves you no room at all to grab your phone from your pocket, not until between sets at least.