Most pathetic attempt at kinesthetics

[comic_relief]

bump

I have three pretty bad ones that I used on the girls in the friendszone a.k.a. hell. This was right after I found this site and learned the power of kino.

First, I was with this punk chick that was about a 5 or 6. I look at her coat and it has pins on it. I say to her "Nice Pins" and then go and move them around to get a better look at the pins. She says "Now, don't get any ideas down there" When I found this site I stopped giving a sh!t and said whatever the hell I wantted. I said "Don't worry. I am a man that can control my desires to want to fvck you" I said it in such a confident way that it made her laugh.

Second was on a previous oneitis. I was sitting in her seat because she just got into school. I was chatting with previous girl (might have been at the same day as this ) She tells me to get out of her seat and I look at her and I say "I will not leave a seat I have been sitting at for over 25 minutes" (dammit I am an alpha male). She then gives me those puppy dog eyes. I look at her in the eyes and say "those eyes might work on wimpy males, parents, and females but they mean jack to me but I will offer you a proposition of sharing the seat. You can either sit on my lap or you may take up half of the seat while I sit on the other side of the seat (once again I am in the friendszone hell and I ain't a total aszhole to anyone). She just looks at me and says that I want to have the entire seat. "Well fvck you then. I gave you the offer to sit down." I then touched her upper arm to punctuate what I just said. She flips out because I just said that to her and something like a month ago I would have just got up, apologized, and moved to a different seat. This girl even went as far to threaten sexual herassment charges on me for some of the things I said to her. I just would look at her and tease her about not being able to take a joke.

Lastly (these are the types of memories I almost cry over), same girl before finding this site I tried this when I asked her out. I touched her leg and she gave me all sort of red flags. It was like flag day in China. I thought she said yes when in fact she said no (Something I did not plan on. Wishful thinking I guess. Ego? Most likely "Lust") I was in a euphoric state for that entire weekend. "Happiest time in my life" Was what I was saying to myself. Hell I had an LTR planned out in my head. On a monday, I went and talked to her and she was surrounded by her possy of friends. She got her b!tchiest friend to tell me "where do you think Tina is going out with you"
"She told me on Friday"
Well your lying because she would never go out with you and that she was not going out with me. Think you got that"
This is where I should have saved some face by saying "yeah I got that your a fat b!tch. Try and lose some fvcken weight, drugbag."
I walked away from there and went to my table. Put my head down and started crying (last time I did cry), thinking of suicide, pushing my friends away, etc.
Tuesday, I apologized for asking her out I then just tried to touch her again. And she backs away, turns around, and walks away. then that night I wrote a poem for her that night but never gave it to her. Thank God.

That about does my experiences if I think of anymore I will write them down.

 

[ted]

Most pathetic attempts at kino

I was at a bar by myself and I was talking to these three girls. I asked if they were going to dance and they didn't want to at the moment. I went to the dance floor for a while. When I came back I asked again. It was almost like I was begging, so I backed off that subject. This one girl didn't like me but her friend did. She was sticking out her tongue piercing at me while she was dancing in her seat. This worked for me before so I said to her, "You can't dance". This totally turned her off, it was like I hurt her feelings or something. I then put my hand on her shoulder and said I was just kidding or something like that. This totally creeped them out for some reason so they left the table we were at and sat across some guy in a booth. They told him to say to me that they didn't want to talk to me anymore. He said in a way that he didn't want to embarrass me (he actually said that). I also looked as if he said it in any other way, I would have gotten pi**ed off at him. I acted like it didn't effect me, but it felt pretty crappy.

 

[DJBen]

Hows this for funny

Last week I was being slightly flirty. She said something about her back and right shoulder being really sensitive, so I grinned, leaned over, and ran a finger from the top of her back, down her shoulder and to the back of her wrist. Near the end I said "what, you mean just the...!" and fell off the side of my seat.

It got a great laugh, I felt like a total prick. I acted AMAZINGLY casual, picked up the chair, grabbed my coat, and left the pub. Well, actually, I left town and went right back home at about 9:30.

....dumbass :\

 

[comic_relief]

another funny one

ok I got another one for you.
I became rather good friends with this one chick and I wanted to become more then friends with her but I found out that she had a boyfriend so I stopped everything that I was "planning" to do and became friends with her. I then found this site in January (met her in September). So I was trying Kino on her too. I made to much kino on her and it freaked her out and she told me to stop touching her(God I hate double standards (you can't touch me but i can touch you as much as I want type things) and she did it in front of other people. But I was an RAFC with a part of DJ humor. So I used this to my advantage and started teasing her about it. I then cut off all contact of touch with her. I started noticing that she was touching me more and more though. I was then the one telling her that "I dislike you touching me like that. I would like you to stop touching me right now." and stuff like that. It would always get a laugh out of her and everyone else. I then started touching her but I also finally understood kino to some extent. I was becoming quite good at it too. then this one chick a total c0ckblock sat there and the one time I started touching her she told her and Laura (Girl A's name) started to get defensive again and told me not to touch her. I just thought for a quick second and snapped back to her something funny. I told girl 2 that "You know what. Next time I am doing something keep your mouth shut." She just decided to keep her mouth closed after that. I then invented a thing that I called "laura space". Whenever anyone was about to touch her I would warn them about a thing called 'laura space". It was when I would just put my hands about a foot away from her and start waving around her body and she would just start cringing. Everyone would laugh at how I did this even her.

 

[Marius_Novus]

Few years ago my ex broke up with me through an email just few weeks before she was supposed to come back from a 10 month long student exchange. Few days after she came back we met to 'discuss' things, initiated by me of course. I was still hoping to fire up any feelings she might have left in her heart.
Anyhow, we went to see a movie. The whole 'date' was very formal. No kino, cold convos, etc. Towards the end of the movie I made a move and went for kino. She was sitting on my right, so I leaned my head to my right having an intention of resting it on her shoulder. Right when I was middle way she moves the the far right and I end up with my head in between seats leaned extremely to the right like an idiot. She noticed that and had this "poor dude" look on her face.
Outcome of the 'discussion' was negative. LOL, later on I cried in her presence, wtf. I didn't talk to her for months, until for some stupid reason she came back into my life and we dated again for 3 weeks before I f00ked it up totally. It was years before I found this website and grew up.

 

[AFK Protector]

Girl said she could beat me up. I said show me your guns. So we compared guns and I was like, "ooo nice muscles." and tried to touch them, but she was like, "eyes only."

heh i tried.

 

[willtmail]

Posted by baseballDJ
Lastly (these are the types of memories I almost cry over), same girl before finding this site I tried this when I asked her out. I touched her leg and she gave me all sort of red flags. It was like flag day in China.

HAHAHAAHAHAHAH. Also, wow, to the last story (the crying one).

 

[Interpol]

My stories of kino-gone-bad aren't nearly as entertaining as my stories of before I found this site and was deathly afraid of initiating any physical contact with a girl.

Beginning of my senior year of high school, I'm on my second date with this girl who told some mutual friends that she really liked me. Our first date was her school's homecoming dance, now we're at the movies watching The Ring. It's a scary movie, so about halfway through she starts to lean closer to me, an obvious signal for me to put the arm around her. So what do I do? I decide to "play it safe" like the WBAFC I was and...shift over in my seat so I'm closer to her. Yes, that's as good as it gets. I didn't even try to go any further.

Later that same night, we're hanging out at one of her friend's houses. She's leaning on me, and I do...nothing. A little later on she invites me to sit in a chair with her (one person chair). I oblige, but without making any attempt whatsoever to do anything vaguely sexual. The worst part is, this girl was seriously hot. She must've been convinced I was gay.

Not surprsingly, she dumped me the next week. I was devastated of course, and convinced myself it was because I wasn't good-looking enough...When ironically, looks was all she was ever attracted to.

Thank god I found this site.

 

[Life-Trainee]

I think I have a pathetic one for you. I was having a Tequila drinking marathon with my friend on a sofa. Why? I wanted to impress a girl that was with us. Reflecting back I did that subconsiously. I was well into my 9th shot as I was sitting right next to that chick I attempted to kind of sit leaning towards her direction so that our bodies would touch. She would tolerate that for a moment then uncomfortably move away. I've gone through 14 shots, threw up in the bathroom and tried sitting next to her AGAIN with the same results. That's actually the night I quit drinking Tequila, lol

 

[diplomatic_lies]

I was playing around with a girl and I punched her lightly. Unfortunately I punched her in the stomach, and it wasn't so light, and she ended up doubled over for a while.

 

[jdr120]

I was seeing this girl for 6 months, I finished school and moved, blah blah... so we went about 8 months with out talking and she sends me an email... so we plan to go out for a casual night... Stupidly I take the advice of a married AFC co-worker and send her a stupid invitation for an "enchanting night with a gentleman"... IT WAS SUPER CHEESEY!! her reply.. "wow, you must have alot of time on your hands at work..." WE go out for a drink, and back to my place for a movie.. I try to put my arm around her, and she just chuckled and backed off.. then after the movie we go up to my room, and I try some more kino, and nothing.. so I take her home... I go to hug her, and she just stood there... I got back into my car and burst out in laughter!!!

I've come along way since then! And besides she was a boring conversationist anyway

 

[Skweints]

What's pathetic about my attempts if the fact that I never really made any. You all have one up on me.

 

[white_hype]

this is the funniest thread ive ever read on here, i was laughing hard on a few of those

mine- one of my girl friends brought some of her friends from out of town for the weekend. we all go party together and i start liking one of them. I wasnt really talking to her and we were in a big circle (bout 6 of us) and OUT OF NO WHERE i position myself next to the target... and without saying much i OUT OF NO WHERE put my arm around her waist.. like 3 seconds later she power walks off... i felt like the biggest dipsh1t and the whole group knew it but tired to keep from laughing

i laugh at it today but felt like sh1t then... i ended up hooking up with her the next time she came back in town though heh

 

[Kourt]

This was just last night. At the bar earlier I had talked to this chic I have known for about a month. Then one of her friends stole her away and she said she'd talk to me later. So i'm standin with my friends and i'm like, hey i'm gonna go flirt with that girl (points to the chic) I'll be back in a bit. She was standing alone so I figured hey, good timing. She didnt notice me and I came up from behind her, and put my arm around her. I swear she jumped a foot high. I scared the shyt out of her lol. After that she was noticibly less friendly, and she all but said ljbf. It was kinda funny looking back on it. Thats mine.

 

[DJUofS]

Originally posted by diplomatic_lies
I was playing around with a girl and I punched her lightly. Unfortunately I punched her in the stomach, and it wasn't so light, and she ended up doubled over for a while.

HAHA, this is hysterical. Wow, you must have felt like a prick...

 

[OddTech]

Bump, these posts are pretty good.

Surprise not many people are responding... in comparison, the "most obvious come-ons that you missed" thread has over 10 pages.

Anyway, I remember one back in my senior prom. Oh, that was a painful one. I actually asked the wrong girl out. I should've asked the girl who kept saying... "ask me, ask me, ask me." DAMN!

Anyway, while dancing with the "wrong girl," I tried to get closer, but she kept moving back and back. Near the end of the dance, I asked her to follow me to meet some friends, and so I grab her wrist. She just looked at me all annoyed and took her other hand to brush my hand off. She got so freak out that she didn't even dance with me on the last song. Like baseballDJ, I sat there and cried while my so-call date was hanging out with her friends during the last song.

A more recent failed kino was this girl that I wanted to bone. After some drinks at the local pub, I act all buzzed. In reality I was pretty sober. I faked getting drunk and lean on her as I attempted to look like I was losing balance. She looked at me and pointed to some cops sitting nearby and said, "back off or I'll call the cops." Sh!t, I'll tell ya.

Anyone else want to share their stories?

 

[comic_relief]

I know how it will get more replies

Originally posted by OddTech

Surprise not many people are responding... in comparison, the "most obvious come-ons that you missed" thread has over 10 pages.

I think the reason that the post you are talking about is so widely used is because it is in the archieve(sp.) That is where everyone looks first basically. I know I did.

 

[akindofblue]

Heh. I was back in high school and had a major crush on a girl on my swim team. We were taking the van back from a swimmeet, and I, not really sure how to initiate things, pretend to fall asleep. Of course, when I fall asleep, I (oops!) fall on her shoulder (first). Second, onto her lap. She wakes me up. I do it again, and this time she lets me lie on her lap.

You would think that I would clue in that she likes me, right? But no. My buddy grabs my hand and plants it onto her breast, sending the whole bus laughing. I wake up and act like I had no idea what happened.

It turns out this girl was nuts about me.

*sigh* Youth is wasted on the young, huh? Not that I'm old, but you know what I'm saying.

 

[VictorK]

Originally posted by jdr120
... Stupidly I take the advice of a married AFC co-worker and send her a stupid invitation for an "enchanting night with a gentleman"...

TOOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nobody ever do this again!! lol

 

[improvingdonjuan]

i started kino after i found this site and i do it often, boy do i get away with so much stuff after i kino a girl for a while.
like with this chick i started by touching her shoulder when i said something, or calling her name or saying hi with my hand gently squeesing her arm, then i said something C+F and put my hand on her leg, i joked with her about her liking me and how attracted she was to me while rubing her leg really close to her p*ssy and and if i saw signs of her being a little uncofortable i just take my hand away and keep talking with a confident smile, (reading body language is great) well i do this with basically every chick i meet and i flirt with. kinoing little by little i have touched and squeesed her breasts several times, spanked her too, grabed her butt, once i even touched her p*ssy, i have huged her and even kissed her on the cheek, ive smelled her neck, wow ive done lots of stuff i guess and not only with her but with other chicks too.
i guess the secret is start by doing harmless inocent kino, then little by little work your way to a arm around her for 5 seconds, tickling works wonders, touching legs and they get so confortable with your touch that you can do anything.


anyway the most funny one was when a girl sat on my seat and i joked with her that i would take my seat back and she said my name wasnt written on it etc.. so i started tickling to get her off of it so she hit me on my hands (like when your grandma does when youre trying to steal a cookie) and said "dont touch me"
wow i felt reall awkward.