Most obvious come-on that was missed

[PortugueseMeatball]

This thread is soo cool... hehehe, here's mine, happened about a year ago.

I was casually talking to a college girl friend and she tells me (jokingly?) that every time she sees me she thinks of sex. My reply? "Well, as long as it is good sex..." To this day she keeps inviting me every three or four weeks to go to the beach, to the theatre, whatever. I'm not really into her, but that was really obvious... gngngnnnnrrrrrr!!!

Just remembered another one...

I was in high-school at a gym class and I lay down on one of those mattresses. I close my eyes (we were all waiting for the teacher) and I feel another mattress being thrown over me and I hear some girl giggles. It's not too unconfortable and I really don't feel like moving much right now (I've been laying down for some 5 mins, so I'm getting kinda sleepy). Suddenly I feed some pressure over my head. Someone had sat down on my face. OK, that's it, I decided to do something. But because of the mattress and because I had my hands parallel to my body, I was basically impotent to have some effective reaction. Suddenly the force over my face relieves and I'm able to get free of the mattress; a cute girl from my class had sit on my face!

OMG... how much obvious can it get?!

[This message has been edited by PortugueseMeatball (edited 10-02-2001).]

 

[PortugueseMeatball]

Originally posted by DonJoey:
Another time when my eye was bleeding (nothing serious) she asked if she could "suck on my ball...eye ball" then she blushed.

LOL

HILARIOUS!!! These Freudian quotes really can get the best of your, right?!

 

[Don the Legend]

Here's mine,

I was out on a date and then I went back to my buddies house. I didn't have my own place at the time. After watching a movie and drinking, I can't believe I didn't try anything, she gets down to her panties and bra. Being the nice guy I was, I didn't do anything. She was pissed I didn't do anything with her. That is how clueless I was back then. I never lived that down with my friends. DOH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then another time, same girl. She went on another date with me and we went to a casino. It was me, her and a couple of my friends. On the way to the casino she was hinting of taking me to her office. I really didn't think anything of it at the time. She wanted to leave so I walked her to her car. She opens the passenger door for me and I unwittingly closed it shut. I really wasn't thinking at the time.

Legend

 

[Greasy Monkey]

Here are a couple of classics!

I was 19 and snogging an older woman in her car late at night. She said "You're really passionate, do you want to come back to mine?" I said I couldn't as I had to do a presentation at college the next day. I hadn't even prepared for the presentation and to add insult to injury I left the course about a month later.

Another time was when I stayed at this girl's flat. We were talking about sex and then she said "Do you want to do it?". As I was so out of it I said "Do what?". As you can guess nothing happened.

What a cok!

 

[gettingthere]

hehe

in high school there was this really hot girl in my french class, one of the 2-3 hottest girls in school by the time she graduated by everyone's opinion.

once in class she approached me, took my hand, and sort of sang 'i want to hold your hand' I just kind ignored her and was like what's going on? same girl, another day, wanted to show me her belly button ring after class. there were other incidents too over the course of the year. I was just clueless/ thought she was playing. only later, like a year later, did i think back and realize she was for real.

last year at a club i was in a circle dancing with some friends of friends and this girl started telling me i was a good dancer. then she started telling me i was cute. she repeated those lines no less than 3 times each as the night went on but i didn't get it.

a month later i was a a different club with different friends (my 3rd time to a club) and at one point this girl approaches me and we start grinding. a few minutes later we are making out. a few minutes later she's grabbing my package. we danced for a long time like that; I didn't even ask for her number, I was too afraid she'd reject me, i was just innocent and confused. girls really can't be too direct, she could have told me 'i want to f*ck you right now' and I'd have gotten confused.


oh, i know it said 'most obvious' but here are a few more:

girl on the metro asks about the book i'm reading - i start telling her about it (i really liked the book and started talking enthusiastiacally about it) - she becomes instantly uninterested because she can tell i missed her pick up line; to think i thought she actually cared about my book

other girls have stuck with me and listened to me and asked questions about my boring stories about me rearranging my room, etc. i just never realized they were interested - not in what i was talking about - but in -me-.

 

[MrE]

Take your pick

All different girls, all hot.

"why don't you stay in my tent tonight"

"I feel like I'm in heat tonight"

a girl telling me about how sexual frustrated she is and I'm...."oh....I see"

a girl going on about my muscles

a girl telling me that she was asking people about me and then she asked if I wanted to join this club she was in....I chickened out (I really really fanced this girl too)


Well nothing came of any of them


damn I'm smooth, LOL

 

[DonJoey]

Here's another one I remembered last night.

I was working at my sister's beachside restaurant in summer when I was 21 and I was serving ice-cream to a bunch of girls who came into the restaurant.

Girl: "Hi, i'd like something cool thanks"
me: "Well heaps of flavours here"
Girl: (pointing to a flavour) "Baci...what does that mean?"
Me: "Its Italian for kisses"
Girl: "Oohhh..I like the sound of that...how about you give me some baci then?"
Me: "Single scoop or double?"

And that was when I should have realised how pathetic I had become. I laugh now about it though...

 

[Don Dimaggio]

This one's not that bad, but I was a little thick headed. It was the second time I was hooking up with this girl who I worked with, and we really had some good sexual chemistry going on. So, we are making out on my couch, and 10 minutes into it, she says, "I want you." I took it as a compliment, since I didn't expect to get her into the sack so soon. Obligingly, I replied, "I want you too." Well, thank the lord I had my wits about me and took her upstairs after the third, "I want you."

 

[SC]

oh damn i can hang with all you goobers who were once retarded like I was

case #1
Im 16 on spring break at a party down in florida some hot chick(a friend of my buddies sister) comes up to me and whispers in my ear take me to bed or lose me forever--uh i laughed and she looked at me and walked away Uhhhh OMG im retarded

Case #2
High school Im a senior captian of my lacrosse team kicken it feeling good. I havet his crush on this junior who I totally did not know I would always Eye her and she noticed one day after school she walks rihgt up to me and smiles nobody is near and what do i do uhh retarded I kinda studder and waturn my back to her and walk away OMG im retarded LOL

Case #3 the worst retardedness of all time

Im in college and this neighbor of mine calls me up at 10 at night and
she says hey what you doin
I say nada just shillin watchin Tv
she says come over and watch TV with me.

So i go over ther and never make a move on her man I coulda been bonin that hot body for a long time but I totally chickend out--Damn UBER RETARDED she never gave me the time of day again

learn your lessons my friends and dont ever make our mistakes LOL

 

[Mount Everest]

So my family is having a get together and she came with a friend. So she tells me when first looking at me"Wow where have you been all night".At the end of the night she says lets go back to my place. She is staying with her parents and she was just visiting from D.C. so I assumed nothing would happen and I decline.
We exchanged no. and when I call her she makes pretend its not her.She visits again and is all over me. I couldn't figure it out. I even accidentally (honestly) felt her but and breast while we took a few pictures and she said nothing just looked at me and smiled.She eventually leaves and its now I see she didn't want a relationship or to be friends she just wanted the nookie.Stupid me I didn't even see it then but its clear to me now.But I learned an important lesson though when a girl approaches you move in for the kill and don't hesitate.

 

[Dink]

Originally posted by SC:

oh damn i can hang with all you goobers who were once retarded like I was

case #1
Im 16 on spring break at a party down in florida some hot chick(a friend of my buddies sister) comes up to me and whispers in my ear take me to bed or lose me forever--uh i laughed and she looked at me and walked away Uhhhh OMG im retarded

Damn dude. i probaly would've replied "seriously?" o well, i remember a few more now.

I'm 17 years old and this 19yr old hot ass chick comes up and starts telling me how cute i am and etc etc. and keeps kissing me. by the end of the night i was getting kisses on the lips. now i realize how stupid i am.

Just this summer went to a party in a town 30 minutes away my friend moved to. he invited up to this girls house for a small party. I get there and of course i'm drunk.(I swear this night was like the easy shot i had of getting laid) and this girl and i were talking and i'm telling her how pretty she is and shes like "i'm not that pretty but your not that bad yourself." i replied "you really find me that attractive?" shes goes o yeah, but hold a minute i gotta go to the bathroom. she comes back bra and panties sits on my lap and is like "wanna go?" I replied "seriously? cause i dont got a condom." She simply walked away and ****ed this other guy that night.(its was like sex night at this girls house) Now if i made a extra 5 minute stop at krogers like i was going to. i wouldnt be pounding my head againist the wall no more. =)

Let's see. about a week ago. a girl at school comes up to me and said "lets get laid after school." I said "with who?"

I'm so fricking retarded. i swear i should catch on by now.

 

[Caveman]

You know what? To this very day I realize I'm still fukkin clueless!

Thinking back on last weekend I see the opportunities I had with various girls.

Does any of this still happen to you guys?

Having opportunities but not knowing what to do with it until you think back on it, wishing you had said or done something to make it work?

Man! I can't believe this! I probably need some guardian angel giving me some serious kicking in the a$$ everytime I screw up by not following up these come-ons!

------------------
Believe in yourself so everyone else will too.

 

[Don the Legend]

Originally posted by Caveman:
You know what? To this very day I realize I'm still fukkin clueless!

Thinking back on last weekend I see the opportunities I had with various girls.

Does any of this still happen to you guys?

Having opportunities but not knowing what to do with it until you think back on it, wishing you had said or done something to make it work?

Man! I can't believe this! I probably need some guardian angel giving me some serious kicking in the a$$ everytime I screw up by not following up these come-ons!

Hey Caveman,

Yeah, it still happens to me. I still miss some. But not as many as before. In fact, I realized a comeon 2 weeks ago but the girl was really big and I didn't want to do anything with her. Since coming to this site, I am more aware than I was before. You will too.

Good Luck,

Legend

------------------
"Do not fear failure." George S. Patton

"Do not make excuses, whether it s your fault or not."....George S. Patton

"Anyone in any walk of life who is content with mediocrity is untrue to himself and the American way." ... George S. Patton

 

[john]

how do you guys miss this stuff? this is the so obvious stuff that i WISH would happen to me. if anything like that happened to me, i wouldnt be mad for missing an opportunity, instead my ego would be bigger then williesacks maybe.

 

[Turbobird]

Originally posted by john:
how do you guys miss this stuff? this is the so obvious stuff that i WISH would happen to me. if anything like that happened to me, i wouldnt be mad for missing an opportunity, instead my ego would be bigger then williesacks maybe.

Have you never missed a opportunity, John? I find that hard to believe.

[This message has been edited by Turbobird (edited 10-03-2001).]

 

[T-dog]

DonJoey actually has a great come-on-line when your with a chick at a bar. Instead of talking about the flavor of a snowcone, ask her if she wants a shot, if she says what kind say,


me: "A Baci shot"
Girl: (pointing to a flavour) "Baci...what does that mean?"
Me: "Its Italian for kisses"
If she says...
Girl: "Oohhh..I like the sound of that...how about you give me some baci then?"
....then your in!

But then that violates my "no buying chicks drinks" rule

 

[maranathaman]

"In fact, I realized a comeon 2 weeks ago but the girl was really big and I didn't want to do anything with her"

Just close your eyes, imagine she's Gillian Anderson, then put your pee-pee in her mouth!
I'm sure that a ******* from a FatChick is better than Masturbating, am I right?

------------------
"Before you sign a new act, find out if they are wack!"

 

[Whoever]

I just had another one yesterday. Luckily it was a women I'm not the least bit interested in but it's still funny when you realize what's being said later.

The company tramp was walking by me her mouth open, appying some lipstick(she wears a ton of the stuff). She looked and me and said "I'll share it with you" All I could think to say was "Why would I want lipstick?"

When I thought about it later it was like, Duh, it was her mouth she was offering to share.

 

[MrSassyPants]

I must've been like 17... almost ten years ago... a girl was driving me somewhere and we were talking about sex... she said, "I love giving head"

I didn't say, "Really... wow. I love getting head"

such a dumbass...

 

[Don the Legend]

Originally posted by maranathaman:
"In fact, I realized a comeon 2 weeks ago but the girl was really big and I didn't want to do anything with her"

Just close your eyes, imagine she's Gillian Anderson, then put your pee-pee in her mouth!
I'm sure that a ******* from a FatChick is better than Masturbating, am I right?

Hey Andy,

1) That chick weighed a duece in a half.
2) I wasn't drunk enough.
3) See point number 2 again.
4) She hooked up with a buddy of mine a couple of times. I didn't want sloppy 2nd's.
5) You're right, she is better than rubbing one out yourself. But I am trying not to settle any more. But you do have a valid point.

Good Luck,

Legend

------------------
"Do not fear failure." George S. Patton

"Do not make excuses, whether it s your fault or not."....George S. Patton

"Anyone in any walk of life who is content with mediocrity is untrue to himself and the American way." ... George S. Patton

[This message has been edited by Don the Legend (edited 10-03-2001).]