Most confusing way to call it quits?

[Madvillain]

Hey guys, was hoping to get some input on this situation;

I met this girl on vacation and it so happened we lived in the same city, we got along great and even had sex on the last night of the trip. We kept in touch after we got back and 'dated' each other for about a month before she called it quits yesterday. Here's the back story;

She's a 2nd year med student so pretty much all her focus is in school and I got that, we would hang out about twice a week on average (dinners, walks, just chill) but we would talk every day via text. Things are going great, I made her laugh alot, did small romantic gestures, she was really affectionate with me and we would even talk about future plans for us (like owning pets together).

The last week before she broke it off she had gone to a wedding and we were texting each other quite a bit while she was there but didn't text me at all the day after the wedding, I texted her a day later it seems we were back on track for communication but I felt the answers were not as elaborate as they were before, short and to the point. I suggested dinner during the week and she agreed, we had a great time at dinner, again she was super affectionate with me so I just brushed off all the other stuff.

I text her a funny story that happened to me on Friday morning and get no reply. So Saturday morning rolls around still with no reply I just decide I dont care I'll text her what she was up to today hoping to spend the day with her. She texts back and tells me how she was in a car accident last night and it got her to re-evalutate things in her life and that she can't see me anymore because she just wants to see her family and friends.

I'm not really buying that that's the reason she doesn't want to see me anymore. In any case, I didn't argue, I just told her I think she's an amazing person, I enjoyed the time we spent together and wished her all the best. She did the same and that was it.

Normally, I would just let it go but I really felt something with this girl and and it hurts me more than when my ex of 4 years broke up. She's the first girl I genuinely liked in a long time. Should I just let her go or wait 4-5 days and follow up with how she's doing? I wrote a letter expressing some feelings I had which I didn't share with her before and am wondering if its a good idea to send it or not. Either way any input would be much appreciated. Thanks in advance guys.

 

[Cremasta]

She texts back and tells me how she was in a car accident last night and it got her to re-evalutate things in her life and that she can't see me anymore because she just wants to see her family and friends.

Do NOT send that letter! Burn it right now and don't give the contents another thought.
This girl doesn't deserve another moment of your time.
She's drawn a circle around all of the people she knows and likes in her life... and you weren't in it.

 

[Madvillain]

I agree, but things were going so well, I don't know why the sudden drop in interest. Any ideas why?

 

[MaddXMan]

Maybe you don't want to know. I was in the same situation, same feelings, etc, she told me she seeing someone else and thus couldn't see me anymore. I would rather have got the runaround (but at least I knew where I stood)

Your girl just isn't feeling it anymore and there is nothing you can do to force it. No contact is best.

 

[iamnobody]

Most likely your ex is seeing somebody else and has done that behind your back (the wedding thing) hence the sudden drop of interest.
Do not send her that letter, don't text, don't call, hell, don't bother contacting her.

 

[Renegade357]

Yeah, I've had this happen to me before. She only dated you after the vacation so she didn't feel like a sl&&t and you weren't a +1 for her. You best forget about her on the double.

 

[dasein]

When a woman you have recently started dating goes to an event like a wedding and then goes cold, it's likely she met someone(s) at the wedding or even got laid. Those dudes are now blowing up her phone, or not if it was a ONS, and either way you are pushed down the ladder. Happens all the time. Good news is that things that start at weddings tend to burn out fast due to lots of factors. When they seem distant after, you keep up your routine, asking them out, little contact in between, no heavy topics, making physical moves on them up to and including sex, as if nothing is different. Make them come out and say what's up if things are different, and after a couple of less than enthusiastic dealings, rejections physical or otherwise, tell them things seem to have changed (the more vague and ambiguous the better here, they certainly didn't do you the courtesy of disclosing whatever changed on their end) and go entirely NC. It sucks, but those are the only options that keep your desires in the forefront and your self-respect. You can't control what a new woman is doing with her time, and if you get knocked out of the pole position, nothing you can do other than to keep working your plan will change that. Once they are infatuated and wanting exclusivity, then you have some leverage to work with, but not before.

 

[Iceberg]

I agree, but things were going so well, I don't know why the sudden drop in interest. Any ideas why?

Well, the main reason is - because she's a woman.

I love them, but they're finicky creatures. So just because a girl is attracted to you in July, doesn't mean that she'll be attracted to you in August.

And it doesn't necessarily mean that you did anything wrong. Sometimes attraction fades very quickly.

Point is - there's no good that will come from sending a letter, and more importantly, there's no good that will come from wondering why she left.

I disagree with the people saying that there's someone else. Sometimes, it's just a matter of realizing "Hey, i dont really like this guy THAT much. Might as well just end it now."

 

[dasein]

I disagree with the people saying that there's someone else.

Sure, it's not always true that women meet men at weddings or renew old acquaintances, get laid at weddings, just a high % bet I will always take in scenarios like OP's. Have been on both sides of that equation, gotten laid at many weddings by women just like OP's girl, and dumped inexplicably after ones I wasn't attending, too many times to think otherwise.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

Hey guys, was hoping to get some input on this situation;

I met this girl on vacation and it so happened we lived in the same city, we got along great and even had sex on the last night of the trip. We kept in touch after we got back and 'dated' each other for about a month before she called it quits yesterday. Here's the back story;

She's a 2nd year med student so pretty much all her focus is in school and I got that, we would hang out about twice a week on average (dinners, walks, just chill) but we would talk every day via text. Things are going great, I made her laugh alot, did small romantic gestures, she was really affectionate with me and we would even talk about future plans for us (like owning pets together).

The last week before she broke it off she had gone to a wedding and we were texting each other quite a bit while she was there but didn't text me at all the day after the wedding, I texted her a day later it seems we were back on track for communication but I felt the answers were not as elaborate as they were before, short and to the point. I suggested dinner during the week and she agreed, we had a great time at dinner, again she was super affectionate with me so I just brushed off all the other stuff.

I text her a funny story that happened to me on Friday morning and get no reply. So Saturday morning rolls around still with no reply I just decide I dont care I'll text her what she was up to today hoping to spend the day with her. She texts back and tells me how she was in a car accident last night and it got her to re-evalutate things in her life and that she can't see me anymore because she just wants to see her family and friends.

I'm not really buying that that's the reason she doesn't want to see me anymore. In any case, I didn't argue, I just told her I think she's an amazing person, I enjoyed the time we spent together and wished her all the best. She did the same and that was it.

Normally, I would just let it go but I really felt something with this girl and and it hurts me more than when my ex of 4 years broke up. She's the first girl I genuinely liked in a long time. Should I just let her go or wait 4-5 days and follow up with how she's doing? I wrote a letter expressing some feelings I had which I didn't share with her before and am wondering if its a good idea to send it or not. Either way any input would be much appreciated. Thanks in advance guys.

Burn the letter.....Yeah man sounds like an end of summer fling.

First month of dating and you are talking to her everyday? Just sounds like you gave her to much of yourself to quickly. Fleeting relationships happen man, it sucks but you just have to move on.

 

[Zarky]

No idea whether some other dude is involved (though I'd put money on the fact that there is)... BUT.. doesn't really matter to you at this point. She's dumped you. Get over it. Find other b*tches to date. Stop getting hung up on any one of 'em.

 

[nismo-4]

Your princess is in another castle and you STILL have her on a pedestal? She finished with the power. Boo hoo. Get over it. Drop her ass and go for new women.

Case closed. Exit the courtroom.