"pun intended." I don't give a **** if your pun was intended.
"In my opinion," Thanks for pointing out whose opinion it was, because I wasn't sure.
"Ehh" as in...
"How are you?"
"Ehh..."
Go die.
"Be sure to pack extra pairs of dry socks..." as opposed to extra pairs of wet socks?
"That may or may not be the case." Thanks for pointing out the only two possibilities for any scenario in existence.
"Get a mac. They're way better." Anytime someone has computer issues.
"Get a life" is what I want to say back to them.
"No offense, but..." but you're going to say something offensive?
Any quote from Monty Python, Half Baked, Harold and Kumar, or any other stupid movie that everyone's seen a million times will force me to kill you.