More passive aggressive behavior from plate, thinking about dumping her

[BackInTheGame78]

Previously posted about this chick regarding passive-aggressive behavior she has been doing, mostly via text trying to almost guilt trip me into sh!t. Personally I feel like there is some cooling off on her parts towards me...she doesn't initiate texting with me as much, not much content when we do text, etc. It's completely different from when we first started dating.

Went out Saturday and had fun, didn't bang her but she gave me a handj0b/blowj0b in her car before leaving...So anyways, hadn't heard from her since Monday, she texts me this morning letting me know she passed her final test for her class she was taking, then a few hours later texts me "So, I get it. You only text when it's convenient for you. Nice lol"

If this was the first time, I wouldn't think anything of it, but as these little digs have been going on now for a few weeks, I'm getting annoyed by them to be honest. So I text her back about 6 hours later that she was freaking out about her test and she did fine. She responds "No lol" then right after "Hope you have a nice holiday and get what you want from Santa Ha!"

I just texted back "K"

Not going to play these stupid games. You tell me 8 days before a holiday to have a nice holiday then I'll assume you either don't plan on seeing or hearing from me before then. No worries, I'll just focus on plates that aren't going to try and guilt trip me into chasing them. Not going to happen. I will not chase.

I'm sure she will be texting me again in a day or two with some other BS, is there something I can say to her to let her know that it's not cool to be doing this sh!t without sounding like I'm pissed or being butt hurt about it, because I'm not, I just don't feel like having to deal with it.

 

[kenpiffyjr]

Yes...u text her nothing. If u don't like what a broad is doing, don't deal with her. Find a chick who isn't playing games

 

[FCB]

Have you laid it out to her? Just confront her passive aggressive behavior head on. Something along the lines of "look I'm busy, I can't always text back immediately and I can't always provide you with instant validation". Don't show her you are getting butt hurt but she's reacting because you aren't showing her attention, so show her you are not about games but at the same time limit her insecurity. I'd rather do most of it in person but I'd tell her, look I don't know what you're used to with other guys but I'm not going to be your teddy bear, always there at the drop of the hat when you need validation/comfort and something you can toss around or beat up when you feel like it. You bridge that into, look I'll be there when you really need me and I'll encourage and support you but you can't have everything at the drop of the hat and if you behave you'll get that which you desire, and if you don't might get a spanking.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Well, things appear to be done with her. Asked what her schedule was so we could get together before I left out, it's be 24+ hours and no response, but I noticed she put up a new profile on OKC. Can't say I am shocked, I noticed signs...

Oh well, full NC at this point. Let's see if she reaches out with some BS at some point.

 

[SAYNO]

Yep, she's done and she has also accomplished her goals, which were to start a petty argument to breakup with you, so that she could line up some new "D" just in time for Christmas. However, in her case it appears that Christmas might have "cuum" earlier for her if you get my drift.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Yep, she's done and she has also accomplished her goals, which were to start a petty argument to breakup with you, so that she could line up some new "D" just in time for Christmas. However, in her case it appears that Christmas might have "cuum" earlier for her if you get my drift.

Hmm...this still might be the case, but not so fast.

She texts me later this morning she had a rough day yesterday, blah blah blah then asked when I was free...

Texted her back several hours later and told her I made plans for Monday but I am free Tuesday...she texts back "I am sure you did"(in regards to me making other plans---this seems to be the point of friction...she expects me to treat her like she is my GF, and not see other women, but without even bringing that whole relationship thing up).

So I text her "Well, obviously you are feeling a certain way about me right now, so I will just make other plans. I don't deserve the sh!tty attitude you've been giving me and I don't need it. Get back to me if that changes."

Then she texts back that she goes days without hearing from me, that I only see her when it's convenient for me, etc..and says she only is treating me the way I'm treating her.

I let her know if I didn't want to see her and spend time with her then I wouldn't have asked. Then she asks when I'm free...I said Tuesday night and she said OK...

I know she won't flake, so I'm just going to focus on having some awesome makeup sex and seeing what happens. I'm going to let her know in the future if she has a problem to just talk to me about it instead of going all passive-aggressive with me about it.

Either way, I don't care, I'm just focusing on banging her Tuesday night

 

[YawataNoKami]

Have you laid it out to her? Just confront her passive aggressive behavior head on. Something along the lines of "look I'm busy, I can't always text back immediately and I can't always provide you with instant validation". Don't show her you are getting butt hurt but she's reacting because you aren't showing her attention, so show her you are not about games but at the same time limit her insecurity. I'd rather do most of it in person but I'd tell her, look I don't know what you're used to with other guys but I'm not going to be your teddy bear, always there at the drop of the hat when you need validation/comfort and something you can toss around or beat up when you feel like it. You bridge that into, look I'll be there when you really need me and I'll encourage and support you but you can't have everything at the drop of the hat and if you behave you'll get that which you desire, and if you don't might get a spanking.

Confronting a woman is always a waste of time. Maybe I am getting old but I do not tolerate that BS. For me one strike and she is out.

 

[stevo]

Is no one else seeing that the girl is in love with OP?

Dude, to this broad she's qualified you as her boyfriend but her hamster is spinning out of control because she's not understanding why you do not act like you also qualify her as your girlfriend.

In simple english, the broad likes you alot. She's trying to hold back and holding back is driving her nuts. Her attitude from holding back is making you upset which in turn is making her more nuts.

In simpler english, you are about to get the relationship talk soon (if she brings herself to talk about it) or sheet is about to end very soon (if she keeps waiting for you to bring it up and you don't).

FYI, do not bring up the relationship talk and do not spill your feelings about her attitude.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Is no one else seeing that the girl is in love with OP?

Dude, to this broad she's qualified you as her boyfriend but her hamster is spinning out of control because she's not understanding why you do not act like you also qualify her as your girlfriend.

In simple english, the broad likes you alot. She's trying to hold back and holding back is driving her nuts. Her attitude from holding back is making you upset which in turn is making her more nuts.

In simpler english, you are about to get the relationship talk soon (if she brings herself to talk about it) or sheet is about to end very soon (if she keeps waiting for you to bring it up and you don't).

FYI, do not bring up the relationship talk and do not spill your feelings about her attitude.

I think you are right. She has been crazy about me from the first minute we met.

I'm not going to bring up relationship talk but I am going to let her know that I don't want things to be like that between us and if she has a problem that she needs to communicate with me instead of shutting down and brooding over it, then becoming passive-aggressive about it.

I honestly do really like her and we click really well together, but I'm not going to just let her pin me into a corner over it.

In some ways, I think part of this is my fault. I have kind of taken her for granted...she always texts first, she asks to see me, she has always displayed high IL towards me from the beginning and perhaps I was too laid back and aloof with her...if she didn't text I wouldn't initiate, etc...so I think in some ways she feels I might be rejecting her by not showing the same level of interest...I probably need to do a better job...being too available and talkative is no good but neither is being too unavailable and untalkative...gotta find the right balance.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Confronting a woman is always a waste of time. Maybe I am getting old but I do not tolerate that BS. For me one strike and she is out.

I'm not totally innocent in this I'll admit. I could do a better job giving her little bites...

 

[stevo]

I am going to let her know that I don't want things to be like that between us.

I do not really believe "talking" about an attitude would resolve the attitude.

If she's acting a particular way it is because you are acting a particular way, triggering how she's acting. Talking about it only make her conscious mind recognize what she can do to push your buttons, which means indirectly you are giving her armors to use whenever she feels like it.

What I would recommend or what I would do if it were me is change some of my actions and watch her actions change too.

You can initiate 20% of the time, still act aloof but try to gauge how much. Still let her chase you but give her a recent memory of you chasing her (once a week initiation from you or 3-1 ratio works good).

Getting her more secure (her knowing you actually like her too) would reduce a lot of the BS you're getting, leaving you with just the regular BS of her being a female.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I do not really believe "talking" about an attitude would resolve the attitude.

If she's acting a particular way it is because you are acting a particular way, triggering how she's acting. Talking about it only make her conscious mind recognize what she can do to push your buttons, which means indirectly you are giving her armors to use whenever she feels like it.

What I would recommend or what I would do if it were me is change some of my actions and watch her actions change too.

You can initiate 20% of the time, still act aloof but try to gauge how much. Still let her chase you but give her a recent memory of you chasing her (once a week initiation from you or 3-1 ratio works good).

Getting her more secure (her knowing you actually like her too) would reduce a lot of the BS you're getting, leaving you with just the regular BS of her being a female.

Got it...I need to a better job of that I admit. I kind of take it for granted at times, but I know I shouldn't...

She texted me a few hours ago that she is really looking forward to seeing me tomorrow, just need to give her a few bread crumbs from time to time...

 

[stevo]

That would be a good time to validate her feelings.

"Me too, kinda miss watching you laugh"

Dude, you got a girlfriend. Good job.

Don't stop plate spinning till it's official.

FYI, the common mistake at this stage is fellas stop doing what they used to do, dont do that. That's what attracted her, that's what would most likely keep her.

If you took your time responding before, still do that.

If you were corky before, still be corky.

Only difference is, if you did all the time then, now you do it most of the time. So you gradually reduce the amount, it'd make her think she's having an effect on you. Time to time when she misbehaves you go back to full mode. Keep the cycle going.

She'd try to change you, if she succeeds, she'll leave you.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Met up with her last night...things went like normal...she was all over me, had a drink, played some darts then fvcked for the better part of 3 hours...

She was really into it and my d!ck is pretty sore this morning...pissing isn't feeling too good, lol...

She actually apologized for being b!tchy towards me the last week...said she was really stressed out over sh!t and didn't mean to take it out on me. I just told her if it happens again I'm going to stick it in her ass without telling her(sadly she isn't into anal...), and then laughed and told her I prefer communication over passive aggressive behavior. She agreed and said she will do a better job communicating with me if something is bothering her.

So not looking forward to work today...I'm freaking tired.

 

[beforeimgone]

Op,

If this is only a plate then drop her. if it's a ltr then she needs to be continually put in check. Ignoring her for prolonged periods does more harm than good. How do you keep her in check? If you don't then I strongly recommend it.

-Jaimee

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Op,

If this is only a plate then drop her. if it's a ltr then she needs to be continually put in check. Ignoring her for prolonged periods does more harm than good. How do you keep her in check? If you don't then I strongly recommend it.

-Jaimee

Right now she is only a plate but she has some long term potential. She is a cool chick, has her act together---great job and just graduated from nursing school on top of that, we always have fun together and we have really good chemistry...

She doesn't really need to be put in check much. It's only when I'm not talking to her enough or making time for her that she gets a little snarky...but I'd prefer a woman who gets upset because she wants to talk/see me rather than one who doesn't care...I'm causing a lot of my own problems with her so I'm going to focus on not doing that anymore...

 

[beforeimgone]

Right now she is only a plate but she has some long term potential. She is a cool chick, has her act together---great job and just graduated from nursing school on top of that, we always have fun together and we have really good chemistry...

She doesn't really need to be put in check much. It's only when I'm not talking to her enough or making time for her that she gets a little snarky...but I'd prefer a woman who gets upset because she wants to talk/see me rather than one who doesn't care...I'm causing a lot of my own problems with her so I'm going to focus on not doing that anymore...

Ohhh..

Sounds like she's starving for affection. Are you affectionate at all?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Update:

Stevo, you were on the money with your analysis. Met up again Friday night, banged her out several more times but it got interesting. She said she didn't feel comfortable giving me bl0wjobs because she only does that when she is exclusive with someone.

Then as we were laying there after round 1 she started talking about a few people from the site she had gone out with but was complaining about them. One was a doctor who acted like a complete AFC, texting her all day, calling her, trying to see her constantly, asking her to go on vacation with him that he would pay for---all after 1 date, lmao!! I started laughing and was like "Wow...looks like it's getting pretty serious!! Just make sure to invite me to your wedding!" And she was like whatever...and told me she felt overwhelmed by him and that she didn't want to see him again, blah blah blah...then another guy kept telling her how beautiful she was and she got kissed about it and was like "I hate when guys tell me that sh!t...it sounds so fake, like all you are trying to do is get in my pants"

So I whispered in her ear "so you don't like me telling you how fvcking sexy you are?" And she laughed and was like "that's different" and then started kissing me passionately and we fvcked again...

So the next day she texts me a freaking novel...saying she is tired of going on dates and is deleting her profile again off the site and that she doesn't care if I'm sleeping with other women but if I am going to continue to that she would feel more comfortable if we used condoms from now on(yeah I know...),because she isn't worried about me but she can't control who I sleep with and doesn't want to know...then apologized for talking about her other dates so much last night and that she was just frustrated with the whole situation and wanted to see if I was having similar experiences...

So this made 2 direct exclusivity type statements and 1 indirect in the last 2 days, so I asked her if this was her way of saying she didn't want me seeing other people.

She said that she isn't saying anything and that I can do what I want but she isn't sleeping with anyone else and doesn't want to so that decision was totally up to me.

I told her I am open to talking about it and that we can discuss it next time we meet...She seemed really happy about that...

I'm guessing I forced her to show her hand once she tried to make me jealous with other dudes and I laughed it off and told her to invite me to the wedding, lmao!

 

[RacerEx]

Mauser just sliced right through it. Good heavens, man. She can **** you, but not blow you? Kind of scary to me...

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Tell me about it. I had a GF once that said if I bought a certain kind of cologne she liked........I could fvck her in the azzzz. I didn't buy the cologne, just dropped the whole thing.


A couple weeks later, she ASKED me to FVCK her in the AZZZ...see, it wasn't about the cologne at all. The azz fvck was something SHE thought I wanted really badly.....in actual fact, SHE wanted it....but wanted to test me for compliance



Expect a lot more tests with this one. Best way to get that BJ is to never bring it up again.

She has already given them to me the first few times...I'm not really a big BJ guy so it doesn't matter that much to me