Monogamy is the way forward

[zekko]

I have always wanted a family… with the right person. Divorce simple isn’t an option in my view when you have kids, so finding the right partner is key.

Divorce may not be an option to you, but you never know if it will be an option for your wife. There's an old saying: "The woman you divorce is never the girl you married". Or more likely, divorces you. Anyway, you're right, having a family is a good reason for monogamy, just know the risks and be sure you can afford what you might lose. I think it is perfectly valid for a man to want to have kids, and to raise that child in a nuclear family. Despite the nonsense the culture throws around today, there is no other environment better for raising children.

For me, I know I am a strong introvert. For that reason, I prefer having a few close friends to numerous casual acquaintances. I will value one solid friend more than a group, I prefer one to one relationships. I find that also holds true with my relationships with women. I've been through the dating around/plate spinning approach, but the truth is I find a deeper relationship with one woman more satisfying. Others may feel differently.

 

[patb]

Roosh didn't bang tons of women, Roosh didn't find god.
Roosh is an incel, Roosh is a fraud.

Then he's in fine company on this site.

 

[patb]

In which parallel universe do you live? how did you manage to get there?

In my reality 80% of women are only interested in the top 20% of men which becomes 90-10 if we talk about online dating.

It's gotten so easy to attract high quality women? first I dont see that many quality women around, second even left overs are so demanding that majority of men are cut out.

Notch count in the triple digits? the average men from what I recall is stuck at 9 for his whole life.

Again, did you get into those stargate portals or the man in the high castle helps you?

He's a ridiculous troll. Watching posters fall over themselves pretending to agree so they don't look like "losers" has been a masterclass in larping and emperor-has-no-clothes syndrome.

 

[patb]

Most members here don't spin plates/LTR. They sit here and complain about how life is not fair and all girls are superficial b*tches and that OLD sucks, etc. Very few are willing to do what it takes to change their situation.

That's because you actually have very little control over your situation. In as much as you do, it amounts to checking your self-respect at the door. "Self-respect" of course being largely an alien concept around here.

 

[patb]

I have a problem with your ego considering all you do is whine and complain. I can tell you what your problem and most incel's problem is right away.

Ooh wait don't tell me: "entitlement!" What do I win??

 

[corrector]

He's a ridiculous troll. Watching posters fall over themselves pretending to agree so they don't look like "losers" has been a masterclass in larping and emperor-has-no-clothes syndrome.

I dont think he is a troll. A bit tone deaf maybe, but not a troll.

 

[Bible_Belt]

There is such a thing as monogamous by choice. I know I can get laid all I want, but my girlfriend is better than what I'm going to find elsewhere.

 

[European-DJ]

That really depends on how much your lifestyle involves meeting new people. Many people dont continue to do that and were only meeting new people initially to find a mate.

Interesting observation I hadn’t thought about. I guess I mostly hang around people with similar career paths to mine, which includes a lot of socializing and traveling so you end up spending a lot of time with new people who share similar interests and with whom you more likely than not get along with

 

[European-DJ]

In which parallel universe do you live? how did you manage to get there?

In my reality 80% of women are only interested in the top 20% of men which becomes 90-10 if we talk about online dating.

It's gotten so easy to attract high quality women? first I dont see that many quality women around, second even left overs are so demanding that majority of men are cut out.

Notch count in the triple digits? the average men from what I recall is stuck at 9 for his whole life.

Again, did you get into those stargate portals or the man in the high castle helps you?

We obviously have very different perceptions of the dating market, but I don’t understand the need to ridicule. As I stated in my original post, I am happy and keen to have my stance / perception challenged, but this is my experience of being on the apps. Did all hot women that I took on dates fall for me after the first date? Obviously not; with some there wasn’t even a second date, but with the vast majority there was.

To provide some perspective: I spent ~12 years on and off this forum, mostly as a lurker. I was lucky enough to find the old posts by Pook, Adonis, Jariel and Anti-dump at an early age and I truly internalized their advise (focus was on developing oneself, as opposed to learning techniques). The self development mantra and the notion of “investing” rather than “spending” your time always stuck with me, and made me realize that an bit of suffering today could pay a lot of dividend in the future. As a result, I accelerated academically back in high school and university, and continued to apply the ideas in my career thereafter. Sure, I have had my set-backs and weak moments during the years - and I would usually come to this forum to seek out advice / read - but it made for a solid foundation.

I still think that I am ‘average’ overall: sure, in some aspects I am in the top bucket (top 1% of earners in London, but <35Y), but I also work 60-80 hour weeks and I am <6 feet (and admitted to this on my OLD while I had it) and following the general consensus of this forum it should be game over on the apps for me on that factor alone. However, I had an absolute amazing experience on there. @Dr.Suave would probably remember that I sought out advice early on, as I was somewhat self conscious about joining OLD for the first time since its release, as everyone was complaining about it on here. The advice was solid and I had a great time on all of my dates as I did whatever I wanted to do anyway.

@corrector keeps calling me a chad-lite after I posted my dating profile on here some time ago, but I disagree. I honestly just think that the competition on apps is seriously sub-par, and that the vast majority of guys on there have lost touch with their masculinity. They reek of laziness, are poorly groomed and out of shape (and don’t give me the spiel about how girls have it easier and could get away with this. It defeats the point).
If you doubt me, borrower the phone of any one of your single female friends and swipe for 5-10 min. It’ll change your perspective completely on the competition out there. Don’t focus on the amount of matches she attracts, but focus on the poor selection.

I would like to challenge anyone who complains about OLD to take 12 months off dating and during that time truly commit and focus on developing yourself, your health, your workout, your social skills and your career. Don’t slack, but commit to the cause. At the end of it, get some good photos taken and rejoin the apps. If your success rate doesn’t triple (which it will if you have put in the effort), at least you’ll be in a much better place than 12 months ago.

 

[corrector]

We obviously have very different perceptions of the dating market, but I don’t understand the need to ridicule. As I stated in my original post, I am happy and keen to have my stance / perception challenged, but this is my experience of being on the apps. Did all hot women that I took on dates fall for me after the first date? Obviously not; with some there wasn’t even a second date, but with the vast majority there was.

To provide some perspective: I spent ~12 years on and off this forum, mostly as a lurker. I was lucky enough to find the old posts by Pook, Adonis, Jariel and Anti-dump at an early age and I truly internalized their advise (focus was on developing oneself, as opposed to learning techniques). The self development mantra and the notion of “investing” rather than “spending” your time always stuck with me, and made me realize that an bit of suffering today could pay a lot of dividend in the future. As a result, I accelerated academically back in high school and university, and continued to apply the ideas in my career thereafter. Sure, I have had my set-backs and weak moments during the years - and I would usually come to this forum to seek out advice / read - but it made for a solid foundation.

I still think that I am ‘average’ overall: sure, in some aspects I am in the top bucket (top 1% of earners in London, but <35Y), but I also work 60-80 hour weeks and I am <6 feet (and admitted to this on my OLD while I had it) and following the general consensus of this forum it should be game over on the apps for me on that factor alone. However, I had an absolute amazing experience on there. @Dr.Suave would probably remember that I sought out advice early on, as I was somewhat self conscious about joining OLD for the first time since its release, as everyone was complaining about it on here. The advice was solid and I had a great time on all of my dates as I did whatever I wanted to do anyway.

@corrector keeps calling me a chad-lite after I posted my dating profile on here some time ago, but I disagree. I honestly just think that the competition on apps is seriously sub-par, and that the vast majority of guys on there have lost touch with their masculinity. They reek of laziness, are poorly groomed and out of shape (and don’t give me the spiel about how girls have it easier and could get away with this. It defeats the point).
If you doubt me, borrower the phone of any one of your single female friends and swipe for 5-10 min. It’ll change your perspective completely on the competition out there. Don’t focus on the amount of matches she attracts, but focus on the poor selection.

I would like to challenge anyone who complains about OLD to take 12 months off dating and during that time truly commit and focus on developing yourself, your health, your workout, your social skills and your career. Don’t slack, but commit to the cause. At the end of it, get some good photos taken and rejoin the apps. If your success rate doesn’t triple (which it will if you have put in the effort), at least you’ll be in a much better place than 12 months ago.

You can be under 6 feet and still be a chadlite. The fact of being chadlite just means you have an easier time attracting women then the average looking guy.

Wheat Waffles posted results of decently groomed ambitious guys getting lackluster results on tinder vs other chad like guys.

Unable to accept challenge as I have no female friends or family on tinder. I am a gen Xer so all that is a bit alien to me. But I heard enough about it on here and youtube vids.

 

[The Duke]

Monogamy will cause a mans game to become weak and then a few years down the line he can be dumped and will be in a tough spot. Its important to always be in the Game, even if just talking and socialising ie building attraction doesnt have to get to plate status.

His inner game was never strong enough to begin with.

 

[The Duke]

it’s true that they don’t exist, but there are many quality women out there and there are many happy couples too out there. It’s not always as bitter as this forum portrays it

Many quality women.....I don't believe that. Nor do I believe there are many quality men. I've been with 73 different women...from all backgrounds. I wouldn't consider more than 5 for marriage. And I'd only trust 2 of them with my money. Guess I'm doing something wrong.

 

[The Duke]

What are the characteristics of a quality man?

1. Lives by his own moral code.
2. Not a beta.
3. Not afraid to cut ties.
4. Supportive.
5. Rational.
6. In control of his emotions.
7. Confident.
8. Integrity.
9. Respected and respectful.
10. Red pilled.

 

[Reincarnated]

We obviously have very different perceptions of the dating market, but I don’t understand the need to ridicule. As I stated in my original post, I am happy and keen to have my stance / perception challenged, but this is my experience of being on the apps. Did all hot women that I took on dates fall for me after the first date? Obviously not; with some there wasn’t even a second date, but with the vast majority there was.

To provide some perspective: I spent ~12 years on and off this forum, mostly as a lurker. I was lucky enough to find the old posts by Pook, Adonis, Jariel and Anti-dump at an early age and I truly internalized their advise (focus was on developing oneself, as opposed to learning techniques). The self development mantra and the notion of “investing” rather than “spending” your time always stuck with me, and made me realize that an bit of suffering today could pay a lot of dividend in the future. As a result, I accelerated academically back in high school and university, and continued to apply the ideas in my career thereafter. Sure, I have had my set-backs and weak moments during the years - and I would usually come to this forum to seek out advice / read - but it made for a solid foundation.

I still think that I am ‘average’ overall: sure, in some aspects I am in the top bucket (top 1% of earners in London, but <35Y), but I also work 60-80 hour weeks and I am <6 feet (and admitted to this on my OLD while I had it) and following the general consensus of this forum it should be game over on the apps for me on that factor alone. However, I had an absolute amazing experience on there. @Dr.Suave would probably remember that I sought out advice early on, as I was somewhat self conscious about joining OLD for the first time since its release, as everyone was complaining about it on here. The advice was solid and I had a great time on all of my dates as I did whatever I wanted to do anyway.

@corrector keeps calling me a chad-lite after I posted my dating profile on here some time ago, but I disagree. I honestly just think that the competition on apps is seriously sub-par, and that the vast majority of guys on there have lost touch with their masculinity. They reek of laziness, are poorly groomed and out of shape (and don’t give me the spiel about how girls have it easier and could get away with this. It defeats the point).
If you doubt me, borrower the phone of any one of your single female friends and swipe for 5-10 min. It’ll change your perspective completely on the competition out there. Don’t focus on the amount of matches she attracts, but focus on the poor selection.

I would like to challenge anyone who complains about OLD to take 12 months off dating and during that time truly commit and focus on developing yourself, your health, your workout, your social skills and your career. Don’t slack, but commit to the cause. At the end of it, get some good photos taken and rejoin the apps. If your success rate doesn’t triple (which it will if you have put in the effort), at least you’ll be in a much better place than 12 months ago.

I think this whole post is probably the most rational opinion on this thread, but the last paragraph is particularly key.

I echo the one year moratorium on OLD to REALLY focus on self improvement. I'd highlight the fitness potential being the most critical. People are surprised with how much of a positive spillover effect that getting into a great and highly disciplined fitness routine can have on the other aspects of life. It forces accountability, something that many lack.

I myself am actually on an intentional long term hiatus from OLD (partially because this is the busiest time of the year at work/partially because I wanted to elevate physical appearance). It's only been about 3 months so far, but I do plan on going a full year before throwing my hat back into the ring.

OLD will never be a fair fight...good, then become the guy who it's unfairly stacked in favor of. There's more to it than height and natural genetics, there's a lot you can do to get yourself into that 10-20% the gals flock to. I'd even go as far as saying as guys who are well-versed in this community have an advantage in OLD after they've expressed interest because the early stages are so text-centric, and if you're smart you can apply the same concepts as you would in the real world... But you have the added advantage of additional response time.

Build good habits. Choose one specific thing today that you can make an effort towards improving, then do it tomorrow, do it for a week, do it for a month, a year, and then do it for life. Jordan Peterson (I don't care what you're opinion is on him personally, he has great psychological advice) has some very good points in this realm.

 

[HaleyBaron]

And no man truely supports you either.

Men support more than women ever will. There are droves of men who pay for women trips, children, food, and rent than there will ever be of women doing vice versa.

 

[parabellum]

There are other options than pure monogamy and 'chasing tail'. All of them have their own problems.

I tried to make some discussion about self-aware serial monogamy and the importance of always having an exit plan no matter what you do here:

Thrill of the hunt or LTR? There is an option C

Test drive a couple of girls, choose the one you think will be best for having a family, have one or two kids (biological purpose check), if you care then invest on raising them and giving them a chance to be better people than you are, and that’s it. Move on from your partner (plan...

www.sosuave.net

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Having gone back “into the game” after a breakup about a year ago, which saw me out of the game for quite some time, I have realized how pointless and distracting it is to “chase” tail. Why the quotation marks around ‘chase’ and not ‘tail’? Because there’s no chasing involved, it’s gotten so easy these days to attract high quality women on dating apps… it’s a bundle of women desperate for an average guy (I’ve seen the dating apps from the POV of a female, and man the quality of men is low)…

I saw focus on one women who gives you enough sex and availability (has to be high quality) and then spend the balance of your time on career, friends and family.

it’s absolutely pointless.. once your notch count hits triple digits you’ll look back and realize how much time you’ve wasted on people you barely remember and how you could have invested all that time in yourself instead..

… keen to hear the opposite view and be convinced otherwise!

Pray for the Lord to put the right woman in your life, and you will undoubtedly get her.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Time to grow up brother. This is foolish advice fit only for women and children.

"Christianity is only for women and children, not men".

Sound like a damn fool.

 

[zekko]

Wheat Waffles posted results of decently groomed ambitious guys getting lackluster results on tinder vs other chad like guys.

What's considered lackluster results, I wonder? PUAs consider being rejected 1,000 times a huge success, remember. I don't know anything about OLD, and I don't think I want to find out...

 

[corrector]

What's considered lackluster results, I wonder? PUAs consider being rejected 1,000 times a huge success, remember. I don't know anything about OLD, and I don't think I want to find out...

You never tried OLD when they were websites in the 00s / early 00s? I think most gen Xers have had at least that exposure and curiosity although dating apps would probably be more mixed territory for the Gen-Xers (ie depending on the experience of using the websites) and would be popular for younger Milllennials/Gen-Z territory by the looks of it, who are digital natives rather than digital migrants. If the websites did not work for you, then perhas you never gave the dating apps a go either right?

A PUA getting rejected in person is different than being left-swiped on tinder and being buried under algorithm to total invisiblity where even a paid plan can't even save you. Also remember that's all game-pep talk (1000s rejection is a success) that belongs in the 00s. Totally different climate today. Just look at how popular black-pill youtube sites are. 1000s of rejection is not seen as a success anymore in these days. It means you are a sub-5. In fact, people who are smart, know how to put make money by monestizing their backpill youtube content as more people get their dopamine hit by playing the blackpill youtube content to feel better about themselves. Stats show about over 40-50% guys are addicted to this stuff, compared to say 3% Netflix or even 5% video games. It's where the money is now. (This is according to stats from Wheat Waffles recent video on the subject).