Moment That Proved It

[BigSmooth]

I've got a little story for y'all.

Recently I just came back home from college for winter break, and I went to a small get together with about 8 friends from high school who also came back from college who I haven't seen in a while. As we were all talking and catching up, I started a small conversation with two of my lady friends. As we were just discussing how everyone from our high school was doing, one guy was brought up. This guy went to Cornell, and was a very nice guy. He was a total AFC, but was geniunely a nice guy, and very smart. My two friends were talking about him, and stating how he still hasn't had a girlfriend yet (from facebook), and that it was very surprising since they thought that he would make a "great boyfriend because he is such a sweet and nice guy" and that all the girls in Cornell should be flocking to him.

Naturally, I took this with a grain of salt, and proceeded to ask them, "so, would y'all ever date him?"

Guess what their answer was. That's right.


"Noo, he's not my type.../I'm not interested in him that way..."

Uh huh. Let me clarify first and say that these two girls are not skanks at all. They are both very intelligent girls who know their limits. So what is it? They don't want a perfect boyfriend?

No, it's just that most girls are not attracted to guys like these. They say they would "love to meet a guy like this", but in reality they friendzone these guys immediately. It's because usually these guys have no spine, are "too sweet", don't provide a challenge, and are just plain boring and put women on a pedestal.


One of the two ladies has a boyfriend who I am very good friends with, and he is a real man. He's tall, muscular, confident, funny, but also very smart and laid-back. He is by no means an *******, but he will tease his girlfriend in public and in front of their friends. This is the kind of guy that will attract almost any girl.




There is no reason to be an *******. *******s only get the low-self esteem girls. However, the very sweet, total-AFC guys also get only the low-self esteem girls.

Whether you are looking for a relationship or a fling, be a man. Don't take $hit from women, but also treat them with respect during the right times.

For example, on a dinner date tease and make fun of the woman the whole way there, but when you arrive, open the door for her. This shows her that despite your jerk appearance, you have that natural manly chivalry and girls love this.



So to recap, be a man.

Man: Confident, funny, teaser, intelligent, cares about appearance, adventurous, exciting, sexual, takes initiative, good talker, strong, secret-sensitive side.


~B-Smooth

 

[FairShake]

Naturally, I took this with a grain of salt, and proceeded to ask them, "so, would y'all ever date him?"

Guess what their answer was. That's right.


"Noo, he's not my type.../I'm not interested in him that way..."

9 times out of 10 when a girl says a guy isn't her type it means he's not good looking enough for her. Sometimes it means not rich enough and sometimes is means not fun enough but usually it means he doesn't wet her whistle. And I have this from dozens of women who have concurred.

 

[Packers2010]

when girls say, " oh i would never date him he's not my type"

what they mean is he is good for OTHER girls to date. not them. they are perfect for OTHER girls but not me. they always pass them on.

when i was with the " girl of my dreams" (oneitis girls. man i shudder at this now) said to me . " your going to make a girl really happy one day"

i didn't know what she was talking about, but i sure as S#!& do now

 

[metoo]

Unless you can have it YOUR way, and I mean all the way and all the time, WHY give them a minute or a dime? You will reget it to the end of your days, and you can't get it back, especially the time. I've never regretted a minute or a penny spent on my hobbies, but I surely do regret (and vehemently RESENT) the time and money spent on US *****es. I knew better, too, having been in Korea for a year, during my time as a soldier. However, there was no Net, no Cherryblossoms.com. today, it's VERY easy to take your picks of 1000's of beautiful, smart, English speaking girls who have no kids and will do nearly ANYTHING to come to US. Don't figure on it lasting after she becomes a US citizen and remember you can get more where she came from, very easily.

 

[backbreaker]

"Noo, he's not my type.../I'm not interested in him that way..."

she forgot the rest of the thought


"no he's not my type/i'm not interested in him that way right now, but when i get older and my breast start to sagg a little, this guy will be at the top of my list and he will be dating women that are my age now and I will shame himby telling him that he's not a real man"

lol, my wife and i were talking about this a few days ago at dinner with some friends, one of which was *****ing about not being able to find a "real man"

sn't it funny how the "real man" tag is like thous little fvcking ducks in duck hunt on Nintendo? you can't hit it. it just keeps moving around and flying away.

lol You are NEVER a real man to a woman who you aren't dating. When you are 19 years old you don't "play" enough for her, you don't have big enougn muscles fo her, you spend too much time studying, you might not have the biggest **** on earth, your do all these little silly trivial things wrong that don't make you a real man

as you get older, you still aren't a real man, even though you now have hit the gym, you have more free time now they you are out of school and have a real and good paying job, and you have a busy enough life to keep busy from her. No, now you aren't a "real man" because you won't stop chasing the young gilrls or you won't settle down and dat her gravity challenged behind. Now she chases after the things you spent your youth building, and probably negleteed some of your s;ocial progress doing so, and she feels she's entitled to that, even though the same woman wouldn't give you the time of day 7-10 years ago

This is why it's so silly to even consider what a woman thinks, beucase the thoguht will always change in correspondance to what best fits her needs at that particualr time in her life.A "eal man" at 19 is not the same as a "real man" at 29, and it won't be the same at 39.


Part of me, knows just how big of a chumjp I ws when I was 19. But part of me, wasn't a chump. Some of my lack of success with women was just beucase even at a young age, I was a pretyty determined dude. I didn't party all the time, I knew what I wanted to do. women wanted to play, go to parties all the time, have "fun". Now I get older and I see those same women, doing the same **** they did when we were in highs chool, going over people's houses, having some drinks, maybe sucking a dude off in the bathroom or going home with him, lamenting on why she can't find a man that will stup up to the plate and take care of her. I'm not nor should I or anyone make any execues for wanting to have a future,and if that means I don't get laid, fvck it. As pook said in the15 lessons, getting the girl isn't the prize.

some women, just need to grow the F up and understand that to become someone, to spend alot of time focusing on one thing, something else is going to suffer. yeah I might not be the biggest in shape smoothest talker on earth beucas ei'm neglectful that part of my life right now to work on something else. this is a concept that flys over the avg woman's head like chinese writing does to me.


In short, just because these 19 year old girls don't approve of the guy, doesn't mean the guy isn't right.


let me clarify my point/thoughts b efore some guy goes on a tangent. I'm not saying the OP is wrong, or stupid or antyhing of the sort. I'm not saying the guy in question is 100% correct and that the only way to have any success with women is not not get laid when you are young.

I'm simply saying, calling a 19 year old man, who obviously studies so mjuch that he got into Carnell, and obviously has not had the progress in his social life that the avg male has had, a "loser" is about the stupidest thing i have ever heard. Just because he isn't getting laid right now doesn't mean ****. I'm quite sure he wouldn't mind getting laid. But there are more imoprtant issues at play here in this young man's life.
I know from personal experience all too well, woman say they want a man, but few if any are willing to seriously grow with one. they all want a finished product.

come talk to me when this guy gets out of school, has a good job and has had a year out to focus on his social aspects of his life more that he has neglected for the vast majority of his life. Maybe he figures it out like I did once he can dedicate the time to that part of his life. Maybe he goes chumpo and marries the first thing that looks at him. But judging now based off the response of a few 19 year old broads is pretty dumb and childish.

 

[floydb25]

So, 2 lady friends is supposed to prove what, exactly? That they speak for the majority of women? Everyone has different tastes and standards. Some girls like nice guys; some don't. Those that don't usually aren't that nice themselves.

The main problem with nice guys is that they don't have anything else. Nice isn't bad... It's just not enough. They need a personality to go with it. They also don't try enough, and spend most of their time sulking in self-pity, and weirding everyone out. Also: looks are more important than women would like you to believe.

 

[Mike32ct]

9 times out of 10 when a girl says a guy isn't her type it means he's not good looking enough for her. Sometimes it means not rich enough and sometimes is means not fun enough but usually it means he doesn't wet her whistle. And I have this from dozens of women who have concurred.

I can't agree more.

 

[floydb25]

Backbreaker: I don't disagree, but the way you put it is exaggerated. When people are young, they just want to have fun, fit in with the cool crowd, and date the hottest guys or girls. Everyone does this. Once you get older, and your mindset changes, you start to look for different things.

When I was young, I went after the hot dumb girls. But now that I'm older, they mean nothing. Friends are the same way. It's not just women who do this. A lot changes as you age. All that stupid **** isn't cool or exciting anymore.

The whole nice guys get the leftovers is also the dumbest statement I've ever heard. Everyone gets the leftovers from the time a person hits age 14 or so. You aren't going to date anyone in their 20s, and not get "leftovers".

 

[backbreaker]

Backbreaker: I don't disagree, but the way you put it is exaggerated. When people are young, they just want to have fun, fit in with the cool crowd, and date the hottest guys or girls. Everyone does this. Once you get older, and your mindset changes, you start to look for different things.

When I was young, I went after the hot dumb girls. But now that I'm older, they mean nothing. Friends are the same way. It's not just women who do this. A lot changes as you age. All that stupid **** isn't cool or exciting anymore.

The whole nice guys get the leftovers is also the dumbest statement I've ever heard. Everyone gets the leftovers from the time a person hits age 14 or so. You aren't going to date anyone in their 20s, and not get "leftovers".

you missed my point. the point isn't that this guy gets leftovers or anything of the sort, or that it's not unusual for a woman to go after one thing and then want another when she gets older, my point is simply that the OP is basing his opinions off of what 2 19 year old girls are stating, when in 10 years, their opinions on what a man is, is going to change drastically.

The whole nice guys get the leftovers is also the dumbest statement I've ever heard. Everyone gets the leftovers from the time a person hits age 14 or so. You aren't going to date anyone in their 20s, and not get "leftovers".

where did I say this? that never was apart of my point.

And when I am speaking I am speaking because I was that guy at one poitn in my life. anyone who puts alot of emphasis on one aspect of their lives at a young age, it's going to be at the detriment of another part of their life. The guy who studies his ass off to get into an ivy league school on a scholly, more times than not, is not going to have the social skills of the guy who goes to football games and after parities every week and weekend. On the other hand, the guy who goes to football games and parties and when he leaves school everyday, all he wants to do is hang out with women,might be getting laid out the wazhoo, but isn't going to have the work tools/education that the other guy will have. I was the guy who put my life on hold basically to start a business, 3 years, no kiss, no date, no nothing.

Neither of those are necessairly wrong or right, ti's the path you chose. If you chose a path of hard work when you are young, to the point where you have no life,k you have to understand that your social life is going ot suffer. That's something that everyone has to ask themselves and accept. Some are willing some aren't. But we live in this world, were the amount of women you sleep with, the amount of ass you get, it seems to be the sole critria of how "manly" you are these days. lol you are judging a guy that is going to more than likely be in the top 3-5% of income in America as a 19 YO simply becuase he's not fvcking girls left and right is pretty silly. These are the same guys who 10 years will lament on how the only way you can "keep a HB9 or above is to have a boatload of money",when the women they now look at and fawn over, probably wouldn't have very mjuch to do with them becuaase they don't have a bright enough future or aren't well rounded enough. YOu have to own up to your decisions you make in your life.

But once I started doing something and business took off, and I could devote an equal amount of time to my social life, I caught up and surprised my friends in the quality of women I was dating, and my understandin BASg of women in general, very quickly. to the point where not long after I turned 21 years old they started talking **** behind mjy back and trying to sleep with my woman, wheras 2-3-4 years earlier, i was the butt of jokes because I "couldn't get a girl". On my 21st birthday they both went with me out (I was the youngest and last to turn 21 by 3 weeks) to have drinks and go mac women or try to. By my 22nd birthday I had stopped talking to both of them their hating had gotten so out of control.

Yeah I got frustrated, it's fvcking hard to go 3 years with any female attention. You adjust but it doesn't make it any easier. But I knew I had iMHO, something that was more important that had to be done. Just like this guy, and I knew there would come a time when I could devote my attention to that part of my life, as of that time when I was pissy because I wasn't getting any, me going out and trying to game women or to read books on women, was not a viable option for me giving my schedule.


There are times in your life, for no reasons of your own, you simply aren't going to be an attractive option to the opposite sex. There is no mandate that you must always have a GF, you must always get pvssy, you must always have dates. It doesn't make you any less or more of a man. It's just a period of time you have to go through.

My point is simply stating, let the cards play out before you are quick to judge. It's not like this guy is at home playing Skyrim 10 hours a day or some ****. He's out carving a life for himself. You are saying what this guy is, and what he isn't, and he hasn't fully developed yet. Come back to me in 3-5 years.

If I sound "exaggerated" it's because i was that guy for a few years. Got told how lazy i was because I was out of shape, got told how I couldn't dress, got told how I had no game, got told I didn't have a nice enough car, or a nice enough wardrobe, and alot of other things, only for 3 years later, the same girls lining up outside to date me, and trying to tell me how great I was of a person, when I was the exact same person I was back then. It kinda stings when you see just how shallow the avg person is I remember when I was what, 19 years old ,yeah 19, me and my partner had saved up 5 grand to use it to fly to LA to raise some venture capital, and around that same time, one of my 2 best friends, had 2 grand and used the money to buy (I bul**** you not) some 22's for his crown vic. Which one of us think got the instant gratification from the opposite sex? didn't make him any more or less of a man than it made me. Yes he was getting laid, and I wasn't, and by these women's definition, he was much more of a catch than I was.. and at the time, pretty much all the women out there were thinking the same. "And even then, I understood the principles at play, I didn't take it personally, i understood that it just wasn't my time yet and I had **** to do. I wasn't mad at him or even jealous, that was my boy. For 3 years I lived vicariously though his conquests lol. They would take me out to go bowling and **** with dates and I would be by myself and girls making small talk would ask me what I would do and I would try to tell them but no one gave a **** lol. They were just being nice to me because of who my friends were. But I remember my two friends trying to "explain to me" how I 'needed to change" becuase "women don't like guys who don't go out and do ****" and "know how to have fun". 2 19 year olds basing their opinions/self worth off what other girls their age think of them. By the time I was 21 years old, one time I saw one of their plates and when I realized who it was, I backed up and she told me "i was kinda hoping you would talk to me anyway" and slid me her phone number, and asked me to call her, whereas 2 years ago we would go bowling and they would laugh at mjy shoes and ****. You learn alot.

Now at 28 and a half I'm basically for all intents and purposes retired from everyday "regular work" as you would call it. I haven't had to get up and go to "work" since I was 22 years old. I have everything I want, I own my house outright, and it's a pretty nice house in the Suburbs of LA, i have a son who never has to worry about how he is going to pay for college, and a sister who never has to worry about how she is going to pay for college. I've done quite well for myself, without bosting too much. My two best friends, from what I hear, as I don't talk to them anymore, they live with each other renting an apartment in Atlanta one I know for a fact still ows about 50k in school loans, while working at a gym front desk and the other is a debt collector. Those same girls that wouldn't give me the time of day at 19, I wouldn't look twice at at 28. Their definition of a "real man" has gone from my friend to someone like me, and while my friends were more than manly enough for them then, now the girls get pissy because they never have any extra money, they can't never go anywhere, they don't own their own house, they don't have a new car or a newer car. These same girls that wanted to marry one of my best friends, one of them did get married to a girl he dated forever back then, that was his "soul mate", eventually started going fvcking random guys in clubs when he's at work at night.

I'm not saying they are suckers (one of them is lol but that's' not the point). the point is they were taking what these women were saying at face value, women who IMHO were low quality in the first place, just good looking. Once their defination of quality changed, so did the men. bye. just like that. The last tiem I saw the one that at the time was engaged, she went out with my then GF to a bar and my GF told me that she had her tongue down any guy's throat she could find. I never had the heart to tell him. That girl was his baby.

It's a cold blooded world.

i always had a sense of style, I just couldn't afford good clothes because all my money went to my business. I was always a gym rat, I just couldn't afford to go to the gym. Once I got the time to devote to rounding out my life, all my other non business traits started to take hold and I blossomed into the person I am now.

I'm not saying you shouldn't fvck 19 year old women or not date them, I'm saying don't base any decisions as far as what women should want off anything they say, lol that really goes for AnY woman but espeically for young women like that. They have no clue.

 

[floydb25]

Ok... When you put it that way, I agree. The bit about leftovers wasn't directed towards you specifically... I know you didn't say that. It's just a very common theme in nice guy threads, and it had to be mentioned.

For the most part, though, too many guys are determining their worth by what women think, and changing their entire being to attract them. It's like, come on... Who cares? You're really going to destroy your dignity and self-respect by becoming a douche bag to attract women? You really need them THAT bad? They're not that important, and getting them isn't that hard. If girl X doesn't like you because you're nice - who gives a ****? Is her approval that important to you? Is she really that special? Hell no... She's probably dumb as hell, and a ***** anyway. You just sacrificed your soul for a **** who probably isn't worth anything... Congrats.

Note: this isn't directed towards you, specifically. Generally speaking, for all guys who do this kind of thing.