Mom has put me in a nice pickle

[AFCToDJSlowButSurely]

Hey fellas, been lurking for a couple weeks and reading the material here. Good stuff, just gotta grow enough balls to use it.

Little background on me: Moved back home 2 months ago(was living on my own for the last 8 years) from another state to go to a much cheaper college to get my career all sorted out,(I know about living at home believe me i want to move out asap as well). Mom cheated on Dad earlier this summer(once that he knows about) i found out about it in August.

Anyway here is whats going down:

Last Friday day after Turkey Day my bro and dad went bow hunting about 3 hrs away. I went to see one of my buddies. left @ about 9:15pm, she was on phone with some friend of hers(not the guy she fked b4 if it matters). got back home@ about 2:30 am, her car is gone. Was a bit dense at first and didnt really think about it. Anyway i couldnt sleep so 6 am rolls around and i hear a vehicle coming up the driveway i think "Who the ****?" guess who its Mom!. Next morning i kinda danced around the subject to see if she would allude to it at all, other than saying she had trouble sleeping(ill bet!) she didnt of course, and she went out for lunch @11am with a friend.

So basically my ? to you guys is what would you do in my situation? I have asked a couple of buddies already and i have a good idea but id also like advice from pple who are familiar with these types of situations.

Thanks for reading.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Slow but Sure,
"to you guys is what would you do in my situation?"Well what can you do?NOTHING.....Just try and be Neutral,and be around to pick up the pieces.

 

[DJDamage]

What to do about it? nothing. You have no proof that your mother is out there cheating again, its speculation at best.

Secondly the relationship between your parents are their business not yours.

If your dad hasn't filled for divroce the first time this has happened then he must tolerate it to some degree or is in denial.

If you do get involved, then you could suffer the wrath of your parents who's anger will be misplaced at you for a very long time.

You best find other living arrangment in the near future because if the sh1t will hit the fan, you will be smack down in the middle of it.

 

[Jitterbug]

Do nothing. That's your Dad's business, as he already knew about it.

 

[AFCToDJSlowButSurely]

yeah they went to "counseling" after the 1st time, he still loves her but the trust is gone, he told me so. i think in a twisted way she loves him too, at least in that provider mentality but she is obviously not attracted to him.

yes it is true i have no proof but wtf else would she be doing at that time of night for that long?(especially with the prior history.) shouldnt i just inform him of what i saw and let him figure it out for himself from there? he deserves to know at least? :S if i stay silent then that makes me complicit in her duplicity, no?
not trying to argue with you guys here but its been bothering me all week long already. (frankly im displeased she has put me in this quandry in the 1st place.)

i get along pretty well with both of em now, though that wasnt always the case when i was living here during HS and such.

 

[DJDamage]

yeah they went to "counseling" after the 1st time, he still loves her but the trust is gone, he told me so. i think in a twisted way she loves him too, at least in that provider mentality but she is obviously not attracted to him.

Its amazing that you got a father that is able to hunt and kill his food, yet turns complete white when it comes to the thought of leaving his cuckold marriage.

yes it is true i have no proof but wtf else would she be doing at that time of night for that long?(especially with the prior history.) shouldnt i just inform him of what i saw and let him figure it out for himself from there? he deserves to know at least? :S if i stay silent then that makes me complicit in her duplicity, no?.

Once again you are making your own conclusions on this, so without much farther proof you are just going to stir the pot and make a bad situation worse.

You don't have to be silent but jumping to conclusions and sticking your nose in other people relationships may not yield the result you are looking for.

Do you feel comfortable with the possible repercussions of your involvment in all this?! Think long and hard because you might not like the aftermath.

not trying to argue with you guys here but its been bothering me all week long already. (frankly im displeased she has put me in this quandry in the 1st place.)

Actually this quandry was always there but you put yourself in that place by moving back home.

i get along pretty well with both of em now, though that wasnt always the case when i was living here during HS and such.

They both will need your support when or if it will be over between them, be careful about choosing sides now.

 

[jophil28]

I was gonna suggest that you NEXT your Mom, but that just didn't sound right somehow ...

Hmmm, never mind.

 

[WaterTiger]

I was gonna suggest that you NEXT your Mom, but that just didn't sound right somehow ...

Hmmm, never mind.

I can just see him walking up to some hot "Cougar"...

"Hi! Wanna be my new Mommy?"


:crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

 

[Colossus]

Wow that sucks man.

I could see you wanting to tell your dad; and I wouldn't really blame you if you did....but I don't know if that would make things any better. Probably best to stay out of it unless she keeps blatantly dissing your own father behind his back.

 

[Luthor Rex]

do nothing?

DO NOTHING?

Doing nothing is exactly how the West go into the current nightmare it is living in. Who is winning the Darwinian struggle by making the most babies? It sure as he11 isn't the mainstream Western world.

Turn the heat up. Call your mother out on her bad behaviour. Let her know that by cheating on her father the first time she lost your respect and love as her son. It makes no sense that she's even getting a second chance.

But since she is let her know that if she cannot regulate herself and behave as a civilized woman then the men of her family will force her to do it. If she will not submit to the rightful rule of the men in her family (since obviously she cannot regulate her own behaviour) then you must all form a solid front and throw her out.

Not only do you need to be on your father's side, but you need to be the man he cannot or will not be. Well, that assumes he is your real father.

Either the Men of the West will re-assert our rightful dominance over women, or our culture will grow so weak that Islam will do it for us.

allahu akbar

 

[vitor]

I would mind your business as well. I have been in your shoes before and unless your 100% postive, its not worth it..

 

[poster_guy03]

Regardless of his course of action he has been placed in a tenuous position. Prepare to man up now or eventually, either way he will have to.

 

[Poonani Maker]

Well, I believe it's YOUR fault for your mom cheating on your dad. Your staying at home, at what?, age twenty-six? shows your mom that your dad was not a Man and didn't raise your properly.

I do not say this out of harshness, but out of experience, because MY mom cheated on and then eventually divorced MY dad for the very same reason, I think. I was 20 years OLD and still living with my parents in my sophomore year in college. I had virtually NO social life living off of my parents, using THEIR money, and my mom could see that there was something terribly terribly wrong with my lazy-ass dad not raising me right, as if, he'd abandoned me, so she abandoned Both me and my dad. I moved out, got my own place, but it was little too late to salvage their marriage.

 

[Reyaj]

Well, I believe it's YOUR fault for your mom cheating on your dad. Your staying at home, at what?, age twenty-six? shows your mom that your dad was not a Man and didn't raise your properly.

I do not say this out of harshness, but out of experience, because MY mom cheated on and then eventually divorced MY dad for the very same reason, I think. I was 20 years OLD and still living with my parents in my sophomore year in college. I had virtually NO social life living off of my parents, using THEIR money, and my mom could see that there was something terribly terribly wrong with my lazy-ass dad not raising me right, as if, he'd abandoned me, so she abandoned Both me and my dad. I moved out, got my own place, but it was little too late to salvage their marriage.

Totally disagree. Thats probably the worst thing you can say to somebody in his situation.

 

[Splendidostring]

I'm 25 and still living at my parent's place ...for $ reasons.

If you have a good relationship with your dad (as I have). I'd tell him the truth.
He probably doesn't know himself what to do.

 

[Todd Preston]

Hmmm....seems like someone removed my comments. Maybe sounded a little harsh but...so is this world we live in. Better get tough...or it will take a bite our of your arse.

 

[AFCToDJSlowButSurely]

well i told him tonight, if/when **** hits the fan im prepared to take the consequences like a man. been busy so i havent gotten back to the topic for a while.

addressing the posts:

DJDamage is right in that i am partly at fault for putting myself in the position.

jophil, i actually laughed at your comment, thanks for putting humor on a ****ty situation.

watertiger, nah that wont be happening

poonani, what the hell dude, how is this **** my fault, she cheated on him BEFORE I moved back in the 1st place, only reason i moved back is coming from another state so id have a place to live for the moment. and to save $$$ while going to college as was said by another poster. ive been back for 2 months and dont plan on staying very long, i told my dad not to worry about me or my brother in fact, i can get an apt as needed. It has nothing to do with me being back @ home and everything to do with loss of attraction. apparently u missed the part where i said id been living on my own for the last 8 yrs. not looking for any sympathy here but thats a ****ty thing to say bro.

todd: yes i realize that

everyone else thanks for your advice, ill let ya know how it all shakes out if anyone is interested. peace.

side note: i had this chick at the bank yesterday laughing her ass off with the random crap i kept saying lol, she kept telling me "youre so funny" and playing with her hair a few times, so at least im developing solidly in other areas