Moany post (i need help)

[EvenYouBrutus?]

Bit of help needed.

Iv pretty much hit the rock bottom at the moment. Been on a slippery slope for a while now and not really realised it. And think its about time I took a bit of action and actually did somthing about it.

Im not living the life i should be. To be honest actually living a pretty hollow pathetic existance at the moment. Had a very messed up childhood that sort of turned me into a bit of a introvert. Classic case of the shy, awkward, nice guy.

People have always tended too pick up on my lack of self esteem and I tend too be the butt off all jokes. I have no idea why but iv tended too act up my role and its sort of becomming me. Also I tend too take to heart when people make fun of me and my confidence issues and that has a snowball effect. More im ripped a new one the worse I get its sort of a vicious circle. Its not like the people im around are bad people. This issue if deffinetly down too me i live out the victim role and people act on it.


As you can imagine my sex life is vertually none existant now. And I know this is my major issue. Had a real bad experiance which is really put me off sex. I get all nervous :nono: Become the master of destraction at not facing my issues. Iv got more hobbies than a 10 year old . My soical circle is getting smaller and smaller and im tending to stay in more and more.not cool!

Guys help me find my path so i can get some ****ing mojo
Im on the road too becoming the 40 year old virgin at the moment lol

Where's a good place to start and builidng my self up from the ground up. Im sick of this and what too be the guy i should be!

Personaly I think i need to work of self esteem/confidence and communication skills. As mine are seriously lacking!
Then I need too go out and get some lol. I just sort of need to be pointed in the right direction a good place to start.

 

[DanelMadr]

Hi,

sorry to hear about your troubles.

Anyway, you can take two paths to heal yourself one is easier but ends up exactly where you started :]

Easier path is to take a mask and train yourself to be a professional actor. Assuming a role of Alpha male, being ****y and funny, know answer to every shyt test women throw at you, consantly reminding yourself that you are the prize and seeing every rejection as no big deal.

It is not a bad path, for it shows you, there is more to you than you thought and that world can sometimes spin differently. And it is more of the fun.

Better path is to continue in what you are doing here. Going down. It takes balls to admit that you are failure. Don't stop at that, go deeper.
BUT it doesn't mean you will ravish in bad mood, pessimism, sorrow, blaming and being a victim.

Just admit all your complexes. Learn who you are and work from that. Instead of making false identity of a player, changed man from nice to whatever, make yourself fearless and egoless self.

How?
Some guys can make it in one meditation.
Some guys need more help than that. Read "No More Mr. Nice Guy", DJ Bible, Power of Now etc.
Everyone need to go out there, meet people and FACE their FEARS.

Nothing is lost. There is reason for everything. Even you being miserable all of your life (if you woldn't have it that bad...you wouldn't come here for example).

Just remember to have realistic expectations. Always be honest to yourself and take responsibility for whatever happens without drowning in guilt. Face your fears, don't cry about past and don't worry about future. Live every moment. Sounds corny but take it litterally.

Eventually you become balanced cool individual, you come to realize that you can say No to anyone even a king of earth and that and that jokes on you does not bother you anymore to a point when you can serve unemotional funny reply....and the jokes stop eventually.

No FEAR.

 

[EvenYouBrutus?]

Mate thats golden. Exactly what I needed looked at the "No More Mr Nice Guy" and that pretty my describes me. So going to work through that for now I think owe it to myself to take the deep dark path as I have a lifetime of bad programming to put right. Im not even sure if i know who i am now. If you get me.

To be honest im actually quite exited. Many thanks you may have just changed my life for the better. My mission for now is me , its maddness how iv been living. Caring what other people thought of me and using them for approval . Sort of looking through their eyes for my identy and self worth, iv been so blind! Iv got a ton of things to get straight and put right so I assume it will be a long hard road. Going to find who the real me is and roll with that. Any more advice would be appriciated.

 

[Aaron B]

I've been there bro, I know how it feels.

if you feel bad about yourself, the last you should be doing is trying to bring a woman into that situation

its only going to make it worse in the long run

seems to me that you are depressed and your lack of women is one more thing to feel bad about

logically, what kind of woman do you think a depressed guy is going to attract? if you don't feel good about yourself, how is she going to feel about you? how is that type of woman likely to feel about herself? that's right - bad. instead of one depressed person you will be two depressed people

you are focused on things that are external. outside of you. you don't have direct control over any of those things.

yeah, i know it sucks to focus on yourself right now. i've been there. the only power you have is that you can direct your focus inward and begin the process of changing yourself into someone you can feel good about

take an honest look at what you are doing to yourself. you are beating yourself up. why are you doing this? do you think you can post a thread here and something will magically click and your life will become great? its not possible. you've got to start facing those things about yourself that you've been avoiding.

you want to know where to start? start with an honest unbiased assessment of where you are now, how you feel about yourself and life in general, and what brought you to this point.