MM in Their 30's

[origin138]

What are you all doing to meet new people?

I've found that as I choose to avoid marriage for now, I'm at increasing odds with the majority of my friends (and strangers) who are married and have kids or are in LTRs. There really isn't anything in common anymore.

Turning 35 today, I'm starting to take inventory of my life and noticing friends are slowly starting to go away and that my social life needs maintenance. Family is even going their own ways.

My brother is like me in the sense that he can't imagine being married with kids. We're both realizing that if one of us doesn't start spreading the seed soon, our lineage will eventually come to an end. Something inside me is very uncomfortable with this idea, but that's probably a separate post I'll make at some other time.

For hobbies I play guitar and mountain bike. I also run and lift. I do meet people in these activities, but more often than not, it's the same scenario of married people with kids, or a run of crazies who are single for good reason. I also run into a lot of younger guys who look to me for "wisdom" with their crazy GF's/exes. I want to broaden things up....a lot.

In my 20's I always had friends around. Things are very different now. Something has to change quickly.

Your input/ideas are wanted.

 

[coachD]

39 and going through the same situation.

 

[Albatross953]

In a few years, you'll start seeing people taking the off ramp from marriage and you will feel less like the only one. Plus the tide turns in the dating market.

 

[yyc12]

In a few years, you'll start seeing people taking the off ramp from marriage and you will feel less like the only one. Plus the tide turns in the dating market.

...but by then the baggage from the women will be overwhelming.

 

[yyc12]

I'm almost your age and going through that...not that I'm overly social, but it would be nice to have a situation like I did in college. Only thing I do is still pursue hobbies and socialize with clubmates/teammates/etc. and co-workers. It's just the way things are. From what I see, men typically aren't as good as women at keeping solid friendships well into the 30's.

 

[020204]

I am a few years older still although I don't look it. What a lot of guys do when they hookup is dump their single friends, this is something women, don't necessarily do. This is a sign of insecurity and more often than not a sign the relationship won't work. Marriage and having kids has virtually no appeal to me at all.

 

[VictorK]

For me I'm online dating, joining groups/events in my community, and approaching women that catch my eye.

 

[Mike32ct]

This is very common. Actually it's the women that sabotage these friendships. Wives and LTR gfs HATE to have their man have single friends. You are sadly considered a threat to the relationship.

 

[Albatross953]

...but by then the baggage from the women will be overwhelming.

They do have more baggage. But I find that brings them down a notch. A good woman from a bad marriage has lower market value. I would rather have a used Ferrari that I've checked over carefully than a new mustang with the extra large trunk...

 

[Bokanovsky]

They do have more baggage. But I find that brings them down a notch. A good woman from a bad marriage has lower market value. I would rather have a used Ferrari that I've checked over carefully than a new mustang with the extra large trunk...

And when the Ferrari inevitably breaks down, you'll have to trash it because you can't afford the $50,000 repair bill There is no such thing as a good woman from a bad relationship. Such women are inevitably damaged goods. The quality of a woman is inversely proportional to the number of failed relationships that she goes through.

 

[Albatross953]

I'm not looking to argue but that's what screens are for. Find one who knows what you're worth and ideally took a couple years away from men after marriage.

But I'm also totalling a "Ferrari" every three months so what do I know...lol

 

[typical]

This is very common. Actually it's the women that sabotage these friendships. Wives and LTR gfs HATE to have their man have single friends. You are sadly considered a threat to the relationship.

I agree with this, I was only between 22 and 24 when nearly all my guy mates decided to shack up for life with some random chick they met at some drunken uni party. Guess what I hardly ever see or hear from all 6 of them in nearly 5 years now. They all have semi decent jobs a few kids and their so called "hawt" wife has now let herself go and are all massively overweight. The guys are in semi decent shape and there is no way in hell that their wife's let them go out with me without bombarding them with page long texts about how I'm a bad influence and attract dirty slutty wh0res, or call them every 15 minutes to say they miss them (more like check up on them).

I happened to read one of these texts from my best friends wife a few years ago, it was a very sad text and made me out to be some man wh0re devil luring her man away from her. Yet the bit(h is so nice to me all the time in front of my face LOL. Funny thing is she is always checking me out whenever I'm over chilling at his place its funny .......... can't control the gina tingles can she LOL.

 

[Burroughs]

This is very common. Actually it's the women that sabotage these friendships. Wives and LTR gfs HATE to have their man have single friends. You are sadly considered a threat to the relationship.

this is very true

remember however a husband is considered a resource....a wage slave to be used until he ceases to be useful then *discarded* and forced to pay alimony

women want NO DEVIATION from their parasitic imperatives towards their husbands

a single man friend to her husband represents a life raft.....A WIFE DOES NOT WANT HER HUSBAND HAVING A LIFE RAFT

read this again

....A WIFE DOES NOT WANT HER HUSBAND HAVING A LIFE RAFT

she needs her husband to be dependent on her for ALL ASPECTS of affirmation how to dress, what to eat, where to go, he becomes her mental and financial slave until such time she deems him useless.

a single man friend might make his friend wake up from his delusional marriage sooner than the woman's most financially profitable time for his ejection...a woman will not tolerate this

 

[evan12]

Animal males fight to death to pass their offspring , so I think real man should be able to pass his offspring and face any thing against that .

 

[TonyBaloney]

This is the hardest part of the batchelor life~the wee small hours, sitting mournfully in a gilded cage and the going solo to events when it would be good to have a lady on your arm.....on the other hand......you get to play the field, and whack one off whenever you want, and rotate and plate as many girls as you want

Do not despair: as long as you keep active and always try new events, that require regular attendance for a period of time, new acquaintenceships are formed. You could make them into allies for hunting. Look up your local PUA lair, although I never did.

Good luck bro

 

[PlayHer Man]

this is very true

remember however a husband is considered a resource....a wage slave to be used until he ceases to be useful then *discarded* and forced to pay alimony

women want NO DEVIATION from their parasitic imperatives towards their husbands

a single man friend to her husband represents a life raft.....A WIFE DOES NOT WANT HER HUSBAND HAVING A LIFE RAFT

read this again

....A WIFE DOES NOT WANT HER HUSBAND HAVING A LIFE RAFT

she needs her husband to be dependent on her for ALL ASPECTS of affirmation how to dress, what to eat, where to go, he becomes her mental and financial slave until such time she deems him useless.

a single man friend might make his friend wake up from his delusional marriage sooner than the woman's most financially profitable time for his ejection...a woman will not tolerate this

Yup... this is why you rarely see men trying to break up their girlfriend's or wife's circle of female friends. Women hate the idea of their man getting pleasure from anyone or anything that isn't them.

Women won't just be jealous of male friends, but also TV's, cars, hobbies, gadgets, man caves, sports, etc.

Also why most women hate when you watch porn. To some women its as bad as cheating. How DARE you get pleasure without my assistance!

 

[Colossus]

This is the hardest part of the batchelor life~the wee small hours, sitting mournfully in a gilded cage and the going solo to events when it would be good to have a lady on your arm.....on the other hand......you get to play the field, and whack one off whenever you want, and rotate and plate as many girls as you want

Do not despair: as long as you keep active and always try new events, that require regular attendance for a period of time, new acquaintenceships are formed. You could make them into allies for hunting. Look up your local PUA lair, although I never did.

Good luck bro

Good take and I agree.

Bachelorhood is really what you make of it. I'm starting to see the same things as the OP in my life---friends trickling away, the social scene becoming more limited.

But, you gotta accept it as part of life. Like Tony said, there are some difficult hours when your solitude is magnified, but as long as you have a few good reliable bros and some female companionship available when you want it, bachelorhood is awesome. You dont have to report to anyone, dont have the droll married obligations your friends have, you can spin plates and pick up and go somewhere whenever you want.

 

[DonJuanabe]

Your focus is on the times when you are lonely, thinking how great it would be to have a naked woman (wife) next to you every night, companionship, etc. The idealistic version of marriage. You are not focusing on the bullshyt, the fights, the complications, the responsibilities of rearing children, etc. If you want the good you better also accept the bad.

I don't.

 

[Desdinova]

Turning 35 today, I'm starting to take inventory of my life and noticing friends are slowly starting to go away and that my social life needs maintenance. Family is even going their own ways.

Easy: make friends with people who are younger than you. In the last month, I've increased my social circle quite nicely with guys who are 10+ years younger than me. They're not getting married anytime soon so they'll be around for a while.

 

[Mike32ct]

Your focus is on the times when you are lonely, thinking how great it would be to have a naked woman (wife) next to you every night, companionship, etc. The idealistic version of marriage. You are not focusing on the bullshyt, the fights, the complications, the responsibilities of rearing children, etc. If you want the good you better also accept the bad.

I don't.

So true. I've done that myself. It's tempting for a single guy to think only of sex and companionship in a marriage or LTR, but ignore all the other stuff.

That's like getting excited about a new job ONLY because of a bigger paycheck, while forgetting about the work involved lol.