MLTR--How to date multiple women

[Jake Steed]

MLTR = "Multiple LTR" or dating more than one woman. Think of MLTR in terms of baseball. You have your MVP, your primary girl, Girl A, and you have your bullpen of secondary women you keep warmed up. From here on, I will refer to your girls as Girl A, Girl B, Girl C, etc.--Girl A being your MVP girl that you might settle into monogamy with.

Is MLTR Right For You?

You really have to base your decision on whether you feel you and Girl A have agreed to be monogamous. You also have to weigh how much you want puzzy from other girls. Would you be happy being completely monogamous with Girl A--or would you have regrets? Which would be a worse regret, being with only her and missing out on other girls, or seeing other girls on the side and possibly getting busted and lose Girl A forever? Those are decisions YOU have to make.

Setting a Good Foundation

Personally, in the beginning of the "relationship" of an MLTR girl, I will try to do my best to set the foundation that I AM dating other girls and am NOT looking for anything serious right then. Then I allude to a possibility sometime in the future that I might be ready for an LTR, and hope she bites. This is to lesson the feelings of guilt I may feel when multiple girls start catching feelings. I don't consider myself a cheater. I have never cheated on a girl who I'd agreed to monogamy with.

Keep in mind IF she bites, it is only a temporary thing--she will eventually give you an ultimatum or stop seeing you altogether.

Should you choose to fvck other girls, here are the rules:

1. Rule #1 is BE PARANOID. Cover your tracks. Get a day planner and be aware of your schedule. You must really keep track of who you're seeing when and what your alibis are. Always have an alibi. Again, I must stress I have never cheated on a monogamous relationship, but you must STILL do this with MLTR and girls who know you are "dating". You must still keep the details on the lo-low cause most girls like to trick themselves on the outside into thinking you may not be seeing other girls--Even though deep inside they know good and well what's going on. It's all about the deniability factor.

2. Train her--Only see Girl A once a week at most. You have to train her to be comfortable not seeing you all the time. Always project the aura that you're busy and always socializing with friends. Do NOT break from this no matter what. If you start seeing her more often, then find another girl on the side and start seeing girl A less, she will know something's up because the pattern changed.

3. Friends are important--Always make it clear that you are going out with your friends often--without her. You going out without her should be something normal to her and something she doesn't get jealous or suspicious over. Having a couple separate groups of friends you hang out with regularly that SHE doesn't hang out with is priceless. They will provide you with 99% of your alibis.

4. Plan Everything-- Always keep in mind where each girl lives and where she socializes/hangs out. Know the clubs she frequents and know the nights she frequents them. Know her schedule. Plan your dates accordingly so you avoid the chance bumping into Girl A when you're out with Girl B. Review your planner so you can refresh your memory where you took each girl on each date. Even jot down notes on convos you had and what you wore when you were out with them.

I suggest not taking your B and C squad girls out and focus on getting them to their or your place for fvcking--that way you minimize the chance that Girl A will bump into you on an outing. Save the fun "going out" dates for Girl A. If I do go out with a girl from the B or C squad, I will make sure I'm not anywhere NEAR the neighborhood of any other girl I'm seeing, especially Girl A.

True story on "keeping your facts straight"--On one occasion I had just had wild sex with my Girl A. I had blindfolded and tied her up to my bedposts with my neckties and eaten her out, then fvcked her. Needless to say she loved it. Keep in mind I had just done this same stunt to another girl a couple weeks before.

I being a dumbass, accidentally said something along the lines of, "Wow. I've been thinking about doing that again to you for a long time." She said, "Uh...we've never done that before." At first I thought she was fvcking with me, and I actually began to ARGUE with her that I HAD tied her up, and of course she was adament that I hadn't. I realized I had blindfolded her before, but not tied her up, and that the girl I'd tied up, was another girl from a couple weeks prior. I recovered by saying something like, "Oh. I guess I forgot that the last time I just blindfolded you and I had INTENDED to tie you up, but I forgot we didn't actually get to that. My bad." She had this funny look on her face--I don't think she bought it--but she being the coolest girl on the planet, let it slide. I guess if the sex is good enough, they will let a LOT of stuff slide.

5. Eliminate all evidence. After a while, your girls will start to leave shyt at your place. We all know the ways of battling this, but I must say that women are incredibly resourceful at finding new ways to "forget" shyt at your place. They are like little rats. They squeeze in through a dime-size hole in the wall and next thing you know, their little droppings are all over your carpet.

Buy yourself a fire safe/lockbox to keep valuables in. If, even after you TELL her straight up to take all her shyt home and she doesn't, you have the option of throwing it in the garbage or hiding it. I usually lock it in the lockbox.

Keep your room clean and make sure ANY female article is locked in the lockbox before a new girl comes over. The same goes for your car. Girls snoop. It's their fvcking curious nature. My ex taught me this lesson. If you have everything in the lockbox, you can relax knowing your bytch won't "stumble" across anything that will piss her off--preventing you from getting laid.

6. Do NOT share credit cards or have joint accounts. Do not let her know your computer passwords. --This is really a no-brainer, but a lot of idiots still get busted on this. Your personal stuff like accounts should remain personal. You control all information coming in and out of your life.

7. Don't answer the phone when you're with a girl-- Keep your cell off. Pretend you're doing it for courtesy's sake. The real reason is you don't want girls calling when you're out with someone. It's a pain in the ass trying to get a suspicious, jealous bytch off the phone when you're trying to work your game on your target. It can be a game killer. I unhook my home phone from the wall so I don't hear calls when I have a girl over. If she hears my roommate's phone ringing and she asks if I should get it, I tell her it's probably for him and I don't want me and her to be interrupted.

Also, don't check voicemail or answering machines in her presence. You don't want her hearing, "Jake, I'm horny and waiting for you. I can't wait for you to stop by my place and fvck me crosseyed later tonight."

8. It's all temporary. -- You can only do MLTR for so long until your girls want to have THE LTR with you. Girls want the relationship. Don't be shocked or heartbroken when it ends. Also, keep in mind there is risk involved. I've learned firsthand that strange coincidences happen. You have to be prepared to run into Girl A when you're out with Girl B. You could lose both. That's all part of the risk.

9. Be careful fvcking girls who are regulars at your venues -- They can CB you and kill your game completely. Also, don't date girls who are regulars at places you like to take your Girl A to. For instance, I met this cute girl at Club X. I really like this club--I go there solo to PU and have taken my Girl A and my brother there. This girl turned out to be a regular--she's there every week. So I have LJBF'd her and will instead use her as social proof when I sarge there solo.

I'll post more if anything else occurs to me.

Jake

 

[whatsupwiddat]

Sounds like a Navy S.E.A.L.S mission.

Lol, very nicely done. Can anyone say bible?

 

[De La Soul]

I would give this two thumbs up if I could!

Right on the spot, as always, Jake.

De La Soul

 

[Barbillus]

Great post.

 

[wheelin&dealin]

I think you're getting a bit too paranoid over the whole thing. It isn't that hard to date more than one woman at the same time. You don't have to have a day planner and mark down your every move and make an excuse for every place that you go. If one of the women ask where you were, just say you were out with another chick. What is she gonna do? Break up with you? Obviously not, because you are "The Man" that all the ladies want. If she's gonna do anything, she's gonna want to be with you more because you are now in demand.

 

[jakethasnake]

I see your point W&D, but what if you're stuck on a college campus in a TINY, isolated town? Like, if you were going to college in NYC or LA, it would be no problem to remain relatively hidden from sight. But I don't want to be seen in public with girl B by girl A when I'm trying to jock both of them, know what I'm sayin'?


- Jake

Originally posted by wheelin&dealin:
I think you're getting a bit too paranoid over the whole thing. It isn't that hard to date more than one woman at the same time. You don't have to have a day planner and mark down your every move and make an excuse for every place that you go. If one of the women ask where you were, just say you were out with another chick. What is she gonna do? Break up with you? Obviously not, because you are "The Man" that all the ladies want. If she's gonna do anything, she's gonna want to be with you more because you are now in demand.

 

[De La Soul]

^^^^^

Hehe, depends on how much you value your relationship and how jealous your girl gets!

Granted, some of the stuff in here might be a bit excessive, but I really think this post covers it well. At the end of the day, it's not a permanent arrangement, so it doesn't take all that hassle for the rest of your life.

 

[Donbond]

good post

 

[Jake Steed]

Originally posted by wheelin&dealin:
It isn't that hard to date more than one woman at the same time...If one of the women ask where you were, just say you were out with another chick. What is she gonna do? Break up with you? Obviously not, because you are "The Man" that all the ladies want. If she's gonna do anything, she's gonna want to be with you more because you are now in demand.

Do you speak from experience? Perhaps you could give some examples where you were dating and fvcking one girl, and told her straight up you were with another girl the night before--and she stayed with you, W&D. Give me some of your personal stories. Explain in detail what their reactions were and how you kept her fvcking you when she knew you were fvcking someone else.

In my experience, once it's verballized, the shields go up instantly. Yes, if you have game, you CAN get past those shields. I have done it before. But it's only temporary and it only works with a certain kind of very insecure girl.

My tips are given to minimalize confrontations and drama, and maximize the time you can date the girls you like. I have been dating one of my girls for over a year. I challenge you to show me ONE girl with high self-esteem who would stick with you after a year and you verbally told her, "I was fvcking another girl last night." Would she want you more? Maybe. Would she actually stick with you? No fvcking way.

I await you to back up your statement, wheelin&dealin.

Jake

 

[ttbadboy]

Right on the money, Jake.

Explicit statements to girls that you are ****ing someone else are hardly ever going to get you laid by the former. I DO know that from experience.

------------------
"Displacement is no replacment... for boost."

"Let me fly, or give me death."

 

[wheelin&dealin]

Originally posted by Jake Steed:
Do you speak from experience? Perhaps you could give some examples where you were dating and fvcking one girl, and told her straight up you were with another girl the night before--and she stayed with you, W&D. Give me some of your personal stories. Explain in detail what their reactions were and how you kept her fvcking you when she knew you were fvcking someone else.

In my experience, once it's verballized, the shields go up instantly. Yes, if you have game, you CAN get past those shields. I have done it before. But it's only temporary and it only works with a certain kind of very insecure girl.

My tips are given to minimalize confrontations and drama, and maximize the time you can date the girls you like. I have been dating one of my girls for over a year. I challenge you to show me ONE girl with high self-esteem who would stick with you after a year and you verbally told her, "I was fvcking another girl last night." Would she want you more? Maybe. Would she actually stick with you? No fvcking way.

I await you to back up your statement, wheelin&dealin.

Jake

Alright,

I was fukking/dating this one girl and she would ask me where I was on a certain night of the week. I would tell her that I was out with another girl. She asked me this on a few occasions and I told her this answer, so she stopped asking me where I was all the time.

It's not like I went up to her and told her "I'm fukking this other chick". She pryed for an answer so I told her it. I just told her I was "going out" with another chick too, not "fukking" her.

You won't be able to do this with chicks who have high self-esteem because they will just leave you. But most women, as we know, have low self-esteem. So you might as well fukk with their minds.

If you can get tonnes of chicks, then why not tell them you're dating other chicks. It makes you look like you're in demand, and that will make them want you more. You have to know the girls personality before you do it though or else you could fukk yourself over. But for the most part, it works.

 

[Jake Steed]

W&D, if you'll re-read my tip, you'll see I devote a large part of the MLTR in setting a foundation so she KNOWS I'm dating other women. I never said to hide that.

With my current Girl A, after we fvcked the second time, she said, "Wow....Now how many girls are you doing that to?" I responded with, "I told you what I was looking for right now and what I wasn't looking for right now (committed relationship)." and left it at that.

What I AM saying is you should avoid verballizing it over and over. Especially later--if you want continue to still date her. It seems we are on agreement that if she brings it up, you should carefully but clearly tell her you are "not ready for a committed relationship," or something to that effect. I've done that plenty of times.

Jake

 

[jay2]

To relate to this:

If the girl does confront you and ***** to you about you being with others, just say something to the effect of:
"(Thank you [may not even be necessary to thank]) for showing me your jelous insecure side. Now I can focus my affection on the more qualified girls.

see how she responds to that.

 

[prosemont]

Great post Jake.

I wrote a ditty on a similar or transferrable topic myself which has some overlap and other ideas that may be of use:
http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/019634-2.html

I think the best policy, even where there is no exclusivity agreement, is to simply make her feel like she's the only one even if she isn't. I don't mean mislead her, I simply mean avoid any unnecessary issues.

[This message has been edited by prosemont (edited 11-13-2002).]

 

[crowes22]

haha....yea that girl you tied up and banged must be cool not to grill you on that little slip up...pretty funny stuff.

Valuable post man.

 

[DeepBlue]

Interesting post. I can appreciate the fact that you put a lot of thought into it. I have one quibble though, regarding the use of the term MLTR.

As a matter of definition, the term MLTR (which was originated by Svengali on the old usenet version of ASF) stands for Multiple Long Term Relationships, and it refers to a situation where you have several women as LTR's and each of them KNOWS you are seeing other women.

They are OK with it either because the situation caters to some vicarious bisexuality on the part of the women, or because they see you as enough of a prize that they are willing to go along with the arrangement just to be with you.

Personally, I believe that women who most easily go along with this arrangement tend to have self-esteem problems or they want to sleep around a lot themselves---or they are attracted to the idea of being part of a polyamorous relationship where they will be sleeping not only with you but with the other women.

If you have a girlfriend and secretly see other girls on the side, no special acronyms are needed for that. That is something many, many guys have been doing since time immemorial. Regardless of the ethics of lying to one's partner, it isn't an uncommon occurance so there is no need to describe it with special terminology like "MLTR".

An arrangement where the women DO know about each other and still go along with it IS unusual, and that is why it was given a special term known as MLTR

Since the term MLTR was originated, it has gained a certain status because it implies that the guy is so extraordinary that he can keep several women interested in him, even in spite of them knowing about each other.

For this reason, everyone has been wanting to use the term MLTR even to describe the more common situation where you have a girlfriend but secretly see other girls on the side.

As a result of misuse, the term has ultimately been broadened, but only slightly---to include a situation where *some* women know about the others, and some don't. In that situation, only those girls who know about the others should be referred to as "MLTR's".

Why? Because if you have multiple LTR's then any LTR girl who doesn't know about the others is perceiving herself as an LTR not as an MLTR. In otherwords, for a woman to be an MLTR (rather than an LTR who is getting "cheated" on) she has to see herself as an MLTR--it can't be a classification that exists only in the guy's mind. If would be just as meaningless for a guy to classify a female stranger as his "girlfriend" or his "wife" even though she doesn't see herself as such.

DeepBlue

 

[Bile]

WoW, You really put some thought into this....but:

why dont you just tell her that you are polyamouryous, and that she will have to respect that if she wants to be with you?

honesty is actually a good thing, especially in a relationship you know??