Mixed Signs

[loverboy2003]

ok all you DJ's out there i need your help on this one, i have been working with this girl for a while about 4 months or so, we are i guess you would say friends. I tend to go out to the bar at least 2 times a week with her close friends who i also work with BUT she usually never comes cuz she prefers to go home and sleep, lately on her 19 birth day she invited me along with a few of her other friends ( including other coworkers guys and girls) to celebrate her b day , while we were out we kinda disscussed how she tends to fall for jerks she says b/c she likes the challange BUT she also doesn't like being hurt BUT i am NO jerk cuz this girls is way to nice to be like that with, also i get a lot of mixed signs from her we kinda Neg hit on each other and KINO and **** like that, she is always giving me intense eye contact and looking in my direction and bugging/ripping me about certain misc stuff, i try to take the cool approach and i am always C&F which i think she tends to like, NORMALLY I WOULD GO FOR THIS ONE B/C IT SEEMS SHE DIGS ME HOWEVER, SHE HAS BEEN LIKE THIS TOWARDS ME FOR A WHILE AND WHEN I WAS ABOUT TO MAKE MY MOVE I WAS QUICK TO LEARN SHE ALREADY HAD A B/F WHO, BUT NOW THEY ARE BROKEN UP. I ALSO JUST FOUND OUT THAT SHE WAS SUPPOSELY GOING OUT WITH THIS ******* AT WORK BUT I DONT THINK THAT IS THE CASE CUZ JUST 2 DAYS ASO SHE CAME TO ME AND ASK A FAVOR, FOR ME TO FIX HER CAR WHICH I DID , so!!!!!!! my question is is this girl really into me or just playing me , i see her with other guys and she doesn't act the same with them as she does with me, are these just mixed messages that she is trowing at me to approach her or just her way to fuk with me???????????? need all your expert help????????????????????

 

[The Scorpion King]

she is playing.

 

[DJmonster]

My guess is she's playing with you. It's probably way too late to make a move. You fixed her car for her?

Next time you see her, try to retrieve your balls from her collection by either making a move, to really find out her interest level, or showing her you're not interested in her one bit. Why waste your time doing favors and giving attention to a girl that's not giving you anything but false hopes in return.

Don't waste time, make a move, or next!

good luck

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

if she wanted you she would not b with others dudes - plain and simple - by being with other guys this is obvious - however she may want to b with u but u dont have the cajones to ask her out so she doesnt wait and moves on - u know better than we do - u should sense this.

 

[loverboy2003]

she has not really been with other guys since i have known her, she was going out with this another guy before i even knew her shortly after they broke up, even though the way she acted towards me you would have NEVER KNOWN THAT SHE WAS TAKEN, she would walk with me and like hold my hand and shyt but when i was about to ask her out thats when i found out she HAD a b/f about a week later they broke up and i didn't want to take advantage of her emotional state, but now since then she hasn't been with anyother guy , she talks a lot of shyt about guys but i think it is just to make me jelous and i try to keep cool like it dont matter, ( just another girl)(no emotional attachment) but i am not sure if that is a good thing to do or a bad thing, BUT I DO GET AT ONE YOU GUYS ARE SAYING GET SOME BALLS AND TAKE A CHANCE RIGHT??????? THE ONLY THING PISSING ME OFF ISA ALL THE MIXED MESSAGES DAMN WOMEN!!! THANKS GUYS WOULD LOVE TO HEAR MORE INSIGHT ON THIS PROBLEM

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

why is she telling u shyt about other guys like your her girlfriend?

a girl that was interested in a guy would not b talking to him about other men --- HUH??? except of course if she sees him as a friend only or she just doesnt respect him - next time she holds your hand you should rap her in your arms and kiss her -- y the heck is a woman holding your hand that didnt even kiss u yet - seems like the kiss should come first then the hand attachment and what in sam-hill is a man holding a girls hand if not for the reason to persue her romantically? Huh?

dont b her emotional tampon - as they say here!

 

[DJmonster]

i try to keep cool like it dont matter, ( just another girl)(no emotional attachment)

playing it cool isn't always the way to go. Take charge of yourself, the conversation, and the action. Pretending to be emotionally unattached isn't the same as actually not giving a **** whether or not this girl rejects you. I know this is very hard to do. You are clearly emotionally attached to this girl otherwise you wouldn't be holding hands, being her emotional tampon, and posting on this board with this:

THE ONLY THING PISSING ME OFF ISA ALL THE MIXED MESSAGES DAMN WOMEN!!!

My advice: Avoid contact with this girl for a while. I'd say a long while. This will increase whatever interest level she has of you, and you can use the time to focus on other women, your life, and forgeting about this chick. If thoughts of this girl pop into your head, slap yourself very very hard!!! I wouldn't talk to this girl again until I at least had other promising prospects, because I think that is the only way you can really become emotionally unattached.

If you can't avoid contact with this girl because of school/work or whatever, then I guess you've got to keep faking your emotional unattachment, and just demand that she give you your testicles back. You better do it. You've got to do it. If you don't do it, you're just going to get more and more frustrated.

 

[DJmonster]

oops, you work with this girl. I missed that part. Well then, nevermind about the avoid contact advice

Figure out how to completely detach yourself emotionally. I think this is key. If you have a care free attitude when you make a move, then she will be less likely to reject you. And if she does reject you, then things won't be weird between the two of you, because you will show her that you are unfazed and unaffected.

other stuff: Don't give her any attention unless she earns it. Make her do favors for you. When you do give her attention, make sure its playful and teasing. No more heavy conversations period. You said she always falls for jerks? Be a little bit of a jerk! More neg-hits.

that's all i got,

detach yourself and have fun

 

[loverboy2003]

WOW... THANK EVERYONE, i have enjoyed and respected all your guy's advise.... so the key is to show no emotional attachment and neg hit on her and tease her, almost like i just dont care huh.... MORE IMPORTANTLY IS TO MAKE A MOVE ask her out right??????? ahhhhhh that is a pretty simple concept why the hell didn't i think of all this sooner, i guess this chick just clouds my mind, i couldn't think clearly but hey thanks guys NOW I SEE THE LIGHT, only problem is i work with her so and hang out with her and other coworkers so if i ask her out and she rejects me (i may be a little shaken up but i will get over it) BUT it would be really wierd at work, ANY IDEAS ON HOW TO APPOACH WITH OUT ANY NEGITIVE RESPONSES?????????? AGAIN ANY ADVISE WOULD BE GREAT

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Originally posted by loverboy2003
while we were out we kinda disscussed how she tends to fall for jerks she says b/c she likes the challange BUT she also doesn't like being hurt BUT i am NO jerk cuz this girls is way to nice to be like that with[/B]

Dood!!! No offense but this girl has basically given you a instruction manual to getting her!!! Play the role of the ****y bad boy!!! Remember the essence of being a DJ is being able to "adjust" to each and every girl. DJ's usually leave a lasting impression on a girl, with her thinking "wow he's so different."

Secondly, you work with this girl!!! That kills 90% of the mystery that is ESSENTIAL in my opinion to playing the game correctly. You have to give a girl a chance to miss your company, and wonder what you are doing!!!

Don't take this the wrong way, I'm being critical to teach you what your doing wrong. But its OBIVIOUS you want this girl and she knows that. She's a complete attention ***** because she's fukin' with your head because she knows you want her too. She loves the attention you give her, just like she loves the attention ANY GUY gives her. That's why she's always dating new guys and why nothing ever comes of it. She's a little bit of a female DJ. She knows how to push your buttons and she's definitely got you by the ballz!!


Lastly, its been 4 months!!!! If you guys were going to hook up, believe me it would have happened by now!! You are in the friend zone bro!! I'd cut off all ties with this girl, be cordial (say "hi" etc) but don't hang out with her and be her emotional doormat. You need to NEXT this girl because I can ASSURE you that nothing good can come outta this. Sure you can grab your ballz and ask her out and she might even say "yes" but she only see's you as a friend. Trust me on this, if you want to save face, ignore her for a little while, then treat her like the guy's that she falls for.



PIMP

 

[loverboy2003]

THANKS guys.... i do take all your advise into mind BUT i just dont wanna believe that there is no chance between me and this girl. " You need to NEXT this girl because I can ASSURE you that nothing good can come outta this." i as i do respect all your DJ expierence and advise you cant tell me that there is NO CHANCE WITH THIS GIRL other wise she wouldn't be giving me all these signs right?????????? i dunno maybe i am wrong i am fairly new to this shyt, maybe i should take your guys's advise and LEAVE THIS ONE ALONE,,,, either way i get the underlining idea if i want any hope in hell with this chick then i gotta act now right ?????? i get ya.... ok thanks for all the advise everyone, DJ's have balls i gotta find mine and use them!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[loverboy2003]

anyone have anymore advise the could share with me

 

[Walden]

Paragraph.



Dude it's been 4 months , what are you waiting for?

 

[DJmonster]

dude. I agree with Pimp-sycle. You've got to get out of the friend zone. Do whatever it takes. If you make a move right now, you'll probably get hurt, but if you want to take that chance, at least you'll find out for sure what this girl's interest level really is.

However, based on what you have said, I'm very confident that this girl's romantic interest level in you is low. So, the best thing for you to do is, like I said, forget about this girl! Perhaps in order to do this, you'll have to say NEXT to yourself, and then kick your own ass everytime you catch yourself thinking about this girl.

Now, if you can change your state of mind about this girl and act accordingly (no more extra attention, focusing on other women, basically not doing anything that indicates she's anything special, BECAUSE SHE'S NOT!), then she is going to miss your attention, and try to draw you back in. Don't fall for it! Always be too busy to spend time with her. Never do any favors. Never try to please her, because if you do, she won't respect you. Once she starts really really missing your attention, then, if you're ready (emotionally unattached), you can start practicing your DJ skills on her, but always keep in mind that this girl is nothing special until she shows you she's special. This means you don't reward her with extra attention until she's doing favors for you, and you don't spend time with her until you're absolutely sure her interest level is so high that she wants you to fvck her.

 

[Befuddled]

1. shes a player.
2. her excuse for going out with 'jerks' is bogus. (you dont know someone is a 'jerk' until you get to know them)
3. your in the unfortunate 'friendzone', but not in a good way.
4. shes rather spend time with other guys. (And rather sleep for that matter than spend time w/ you... what does that tell you ?)
5. Shes using you to do her choores. fix her car ? wtf is that ? your a colleague not a friggon buddy.
6. Be the friend, dont expect more. move on.

Cheers.

 

[loverboy2003]

well thanks for all your guys input and advise, i think i will just LET THIS ONE GO, i will fade away and cut all or most of my contact with her, as it i fairly clear that she may be with another guy and in that case i dont wanna be the guy who hits on other guys women, YEP i am gonna forget about her UNLESS she gives me any more signs or oppertunities then in that case i have made up my mind that i will GET SOME BALLS AND ASK HER OUT, my thinking NOW after talking to a few people( guys and girls) and asking all your guys's ideas IS that what do I HAVE TO LOSE she says YES then GREAT if she says NO oh well NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!1