So I've been lurking on this forum for the past few months since I ended my LTR. So far I've picked up some great advise and closed many deals 
, but recently I started seeing this one girl that is really messing my head. It started about 6 weeks ago, I went out with mates and we met up with the extended friends group at some bar near to where we all live. Due to the covid curfew we all ended up at a house party, at this point I was pretty drunk as this was meant to be a lads night out but still managed to secure some numbers from the girls in the extended group. Later in the early morning I started talking to this girl (HB8). Immediately even in my drunk state was interested, and more interested then I've been in any of the girls I've hooked up with recently. Seemed the like feeling was mutual so we exchanged numbers as we were leaving.
Through the next week I tried to get her to come out with me twice I cant remember her response to the first but got the "I'm really busy sorry, maybe next week" for the second so I deleted the number thinking she wasn't interested and carried on with my life. A week later on the Friday I was about to catch an uber to another bar when I get a message from her asking if I want to have dinner with her. I responded by saying I wasn't hungry but if she wanted she could come join me at the bar I'm about to go to. She then responded with the first of many alternative arrangements first asking if I wanted to do another day, which I responded with "sure lets do Tuesday @MyChoiceOfResturant" she then responded with "lets do Thursday(Friday was public holiday) @FancyResturant". Thinking this was a weird power play I had a laugh about it with the lads but told her "sure we can".
On the following Monday she messaged me asking how many people I had invited, this confused me so much because I had thought it was a date. I'm a very strait forward guy so I basically told her "non I thought it was a date" (I'm not sure I made the right move here but w/e). She then apologized for coming across in the wrong way. At this point I was completely done with this and was about to call it quits when she said she was bringing HB9 with her and two other friends. So instead of calling it I called the restaurant and increased the booking to a larger number of people and invited my friends as well. Thinking to myself hey some new talent I didn't get to close HB9 the last time we met so lets go round 2 (I already had her number but she was about as interesting as cardboard when we met so didn't bother speaking to her).
So come Thursday night I have some of the lads over for some drinks at my place then head off to the restaurant. The girls all arrive late but non of us really cared as we were having a pretty decent time at the restaurant's bar. The alcohol starts flowing and we end dinner and decide to go to the mutual friends house as he lives down the road. At this point im trying to escalate with HB9 but its not going so well, I find out she just broke up with the guy she was seeing and wasnt in the right mindset for anything. She laid out quite a funny line "you just got out of a LTR you obviously are not ready for a relationship, speak to me in 3 months". I laughed at this and replied "who said anything about a relationship" (probably the wrong thing to say as this triggered her). I quickly pulled out of the convo and started chatting to some of the other girls at which point HB8 showed up next to me and began chatting. We chatted for a bit then everyone decided to go home as it was 4am. I said cheers to my friends, called my uber and went outside to wait for it. At which point I saw another uber waiting, then after about 5 min, leave. As my uber showed up HB8 walked out and explained she had missed her ride. Since she lived close to me I said she could catch a ride with me but I'm going to my place first, to which she agreed and we set off. We chatted a bit in the uber I cant remember what about I was pretty drunk at this stage, anyway we got to my place and I tried my luck asking if she wanted to come for a drink. She said thanks for the offer but she wanted to get home, I said goodbye cutting my losses and got in the elevator.
When I got to my floor I got a phone call from her saying she was actually coming up, I told her my floor # and waited in the lobby. I proceeded to take her to my apartment and we had some wine. We ended up drunkenly hooking up and she slept over (no sex as we were to drunk but other stuff). The next day she spent the day with me in the apartment watching netflix and making out/hooking up (again everything else but no sex she had some weird rule that she would only have sex with people she knew for a while). I took her home around 6pm, had a real weird convo in the car, she was asking if I wanted children, about my LTR and she told me about how she was supposed to go on a date that evening bla bla something. I just said oh sounds cool or some generic response not paying much attention to it.
The next day I get this message from her all stressed saying how she doesn't normally do this type of thing and a bunch of stuff implying I'm a player (just general upset chick stuff). I ended up sending her some flowers and that fixed that situation(meh maybe bad move but I didn't really feel like dealing with the drama). At this point I was still kind of interested in her as the other conversations we had were pretty good so I decided to give it another go.
We messaged back and forth and she ended up inviting me to her birthday. so for timeframe purposes this birthday was about 2 weeks after we hooked up. I ended up going but nothing really happened besides I found out why she freaked out and why she was so hesitant to go on a date with me before. Anyway as it was HB9 and some of her other friends that were there the 1st night were telling her how I was a "player" and hooked up with a bunch of their friends in the months leading up to when we first met. At least if anything that night provided some clarity on why she was so hesitant.
We continued messaging back and forth a bit until she agreed to go on a date with me, but in somewhat typical fashion refused my time and place and provided her own. However I made the actual booking. So I picked her up, it was this wine tasting dinner thing again somewhere fancy. We both had a good time, I ended up at her apartment again and we hooked up (but again everything else just no sex). So after this I was thinking everything seemed to be going well I was enjoying myself, but when later on that week I tried to make plans to see her, she gave me some weird plan to have lunch with me but she wasnt sure because she was spending the day with HB9(who at this point hates me XD) and doesn't want it to be to awkward. She ended up canceling plans saying we could do something the next week. Anyway that Saturday night was winding down I was out with friends and was going to call it an early one but decided to messaged her "What do I need to do to get you to have a drink with me tonight". She responded with "pick me up from @place and we can have a drink at my place".
Picked her up and we went to her place, had some drinks and watched a movie. Again I ended up spending the night this time there was more intimacy when we made out and everything seemed more intense so tried escalating to sex but she told me she wants to take it slow. Anyway had some fun then went to sleep. The next day we chatted a bit and she explained to me she has had some disappointing relationships and doesn't know what she wants I told her that's fine with me I'm not looking for anything in particular just want to see where the connection goes.
A week later and thus last weekend we end up meeting for early dinner and drinks since we were going to a bar opening afterwards. Here is where stuff gets weird and I'm slightly lost as to what's happening. We agree to meet at a restaurant at around 4pm, at 2:45 pm she messages me saying she is running late and will only be there at 4:15. I was already getting ready so I told her "ok cool, im gona have a drink @barNearby so take your time" at like 4:30 she calls me saying she is still not ready and do we want to just go to a place closer to her. I told her no and I'm waiting for you at the restaurant, she then agreed and said she was coming there now. so anyway she arrives 20 min later and I explain to her I don't like lateness and she apologizes. We chat and I make her have some shots for being late and we decide to call HB9 and tell her to come to the restaurant so I can win her over. long story short HB9 comes over I make amends for the sake of peace and everything is good so we have a few more drinks then head to a bar.
Again that evening we end up at her place and we hookup and again the same she tells me she wants to take things slow. The next morning she basically tells me that she is scared to have sex with me because I might ghost her afterwards. So I explain I'm not looking for a hookup, which at this stage I'm not, I would like to see where this takes me.
I head off home and when I get there she messages me saying "I know its frustrating having to take it slow, but its only because I don't want to jump in before I'm ready. I've done that in the past and it can get messed up. If i didn't see this going anywhere then i wouldn't be this careful."
TLDR
Firstly she takes an somewhat exactly an hour to replay to all my messages even when I reply instantly and she is online
she always changes the plans (example today we were meant to meet for a quick dinner which I had to ask if it was still on which she replied "sorry I cant do today" but is keen to do Saturday)
I'm always the one to initiate plans
this weird take things slow thing
she is seeing another guy (this doesn't bother me but might be relevant)
she keeps wanting to go to fancy restaurants for dates
Lads am I getting played here?
, but recently I started seeing this one girl that is really messing my head. It started about 6 weeks ago, I went out with mates and we met up with the extended friends group at some bar near to where we all live. Due to the covid curfew we all ended up at a house party, at this point I was pretty drunk as this was meant to be a lads night out but still managed to secure some numbers from the girls in the extended group. Later in the early morning I started talking to this girl (HB8). Immediately even in my drunk state was interested, and more interested then I've been in any of the girls I've hooked up with recently. Seemed the like feeling was mutual so we exchanged numbers as we were leaving.Through the next week I tried to get her to come out with me twice I cant remember her response to the first but got the "I'm really busy sorry, maybe next week" for the second so I deleted the number thinking she wasn't interested and carried on with my life. A week later on the Friday I was about to catch an uber to another bar when I get a message from her asking if I want to have dinner with her. I responded by saying I wasn't hungry but if she wanted she could come join me at the bar I'm about to go to. She then responded with the first of many alternative arrangements first asking if I wanted to do another day, which I responded with "sure lets do Tuesday @MyChoiceOfResturant" she then responded with "lets do Thursday(Friday was public holiday) @FancyResturant". Thinking this was a weird power play I had a laugh about it with the lads but told her "sure we can".
On the following Monday she messaged me asking how many people I had invited, this confused me so much because I had thought it was a date. I'm a very strait forward guy so I basically told her "non I thought it was a date" (I'm not sure I made the right move here but w/e). She then apologized for coming across in the wrong way. At this point I was completely done with this and was about to call it quits when she said she was bringing HB9 with her and two other friends. So instead of calling it I called the restaurant and increased the booking to a larger number of people and invited my friends as well. Thinking to myself hey some new talent I didn't get to close HB9 the last time we met so lets go round 2 (I already had her number but she was about as interesting as cardboard when we met so didn't bother speaking to her).
So come Thursday night I have some of the lads over for some drinks at my place then head off to the restaurant. The girls all arrive late but non of us really cared as we were having a pretty decent time at the restaurant's bar. The alcohol starts flowing and we end dinner and decide to go to the mutual friends house as he lives down the road. At this point im trying to escalate with HB9 but its not going so well, I find out she just broke up with the guy she was seeing and wasnt in the right mindset for anything. She laid out quite a funny line "you just got out of a LTR you obviously are not ready for a relationship, speak to me in 3 months". I laughed at this and replied "who said anything about a relationship" (probably the wrong thing to say as this triggered her). I quickly pulled out of the convo and started chatting to some of the other girls at which point HB8 showed up next to me and began chatting. We chatted for a bit then everyone decided to go home as it was 4am. I said cheers to my friends, called my uber and went outside to wait for it. At which point I saw another uber waiting, then after about 5 min, leave. As my uber showed up HB8 walked out and explained she had missed her ride. Since she lived close to me I said she could catch a ride with me but I'm going to my place first, to which she agreed and we set off. We chatted a bit in the uber I cant remember what about I was pretty drunk at this stage, anyway we got to my place and I tried my luck asking if she wanted to come for a drink. She said thanks for the offer but she wanted to get home, I said goodbye cutting my losses and got in the elevator.
When I got to my floor I got a phone call from her saying she was actually coming up, I told her my floor # and waited in the lobby. I proceeded to take her to my apartment and we had some wine. We ended up drunkenly hooking up and she slept over (no sex as we were to drunk but other stuff). The next day she spent the day with me in the apartment watching netflix and making out/hooking up (again everything else but no sex she had some weird rule that she would only have sex with people she knew for a while). I took her home around 6pm, had a real weird convo in the car, she was asking if I wanted children, about my LTR and she told me about how she was supposed to go on a date that evening bla bla something. I just said oh sounds cool or some generic response not paying much attention to it.
The next day I get this message from her all stressed saying how she doesn't normally do this type of thing and a bunch of stuff implying I'm a player (just general upset chick stuff). I ended up sending her some flowers and that fixed that situation(meh maybe bad move but I didn't really feel like dealing with the drama). At this point I was still kind of interested in her as the other conversations we had were pretty good so I decided to give it another go.
We messaged back and forth and she ended up inviting me to her birthday. so for timeframe purposes this birthday was about 2 weeks after we hooked up. I ended up going but nothing really happened besides I found out why she freaked out and why she was so hesitant to go on a date with me before. Anyway as it was HB9 and some of her other friends that were there the 1st night were telling her how I was a "player" and hooked up with a bunch of their friends in the months leading up to when we first met. At least if anything that night provided some clarity on why she was so hesitant.
We continued messaging back and forth a bit until she agreed to go on a date with me, but in somewhat typical fashion refused my time and place and provided her own. However I made the actual booking. So I picked her up, it was this wine tasting dinner thing again somewhere fancy. We both had a good time, I ended up at her apartment again and we hooked up (but again everything else just no sex). So after this I was thinking everything seemed to be going well I was enjoying myself, but when later on that week I tried to make plans to see her, she gave me some weird plan to have lunch with me but she wasnt sure because she was spending the day with HB9(who at this point hates me XD) and doesn't want it to be to awkward. She ended up canceling plans saying we could do something the next week. Anyway that Saturday night was winding down I was out with friends and was going to call it an early one but decided to messaged her "What do I need to do to get you to have a drink with me tonight". She responded with "pick me up from @place and we can have a drink at my place".
Picked her up and we went to her place, had some drinks and watched a movie. Again I ended up spending the night this time there was more intimacy when we made out and everything seemed more intense so tried escalating to sex but she told me she wants to take it slow. Anyway had some fun then went to sleep. The next day we chatted a bit and she explained to me she has had some disappointing relationships and doesn't know what she wants I told her that's fine with me I'm not looking for anything in particular just want to see where the connection goes.
A week later and thus last weekend we end up meeting for early dinner and drinks since we were going to a bar opening afterwards. Here is where stuff gets weird and I'm slightly lost as to what's happening. We agree to meet at a restaurant at around 4pm, at 2:45 pm she messages me saying she is running late and will only be there at 4:15. I was already getting ready so I told her "ok cool, im gona have a drink @barNearby so take your time" at like 4:30 she calls me saying she is still not ready and do we want to just go to a place closer to her. I told her no and I'm waiting for you at the restaurant, she then agreed and said she was coming there now. so anyway she arrives 20 min later and I explain to her I don't like lateness and she apologizes. We chat and I make her have some shots for being late and we decide to call HB9 and tell her to come to the restaurant so I can win her over. long story short HB9 comes over I make amends for the sake of peace and everything is good so we have a few more drinks then head to a bar.
Again that evening we end up at her place and we hookup and again the same she tells me she wants to take things slow. The next morning she basically tells me that she is scared to have sex with me because I might ghost her afterwards. So I explain I'm not looking for a hookup, which at this stage I'm not, I would like to see where this takes me.
I head off home and when I get there she messages me saying "I know its frustrating having to take it slow, but its only because I don't want to jump in before I'm ready. I've done that in the past and it can get messed up. If i didn't see this going anywhere then i wouldn't be this careful."
TLDR
Firstly she takes an somewhat exactly an hour to replay to all my messages even when I reply instantly and she is online
she always changes the plans (example today we were meant to meet for a quick dinner which I had to ask if it was still on which she replied "sorry I cant do today" but is keen to do Saturday)
I'm always the one to initiate plans
this weird take things slow thing
she is seeing another guy (this doesn't bother me but might be relevant)
she keeps wanting to go to fancy restaurants for dates
Lads am I getting played here?
