Mixed Signals?

[Bronxtal112]

Quick situation that I need some insight on. I’ve been dating this girl for over a month now. She already told me she didn’t want an exclusive relationship because she did not want to be hurt again. I agreed and actually liked the idea. Anyway, her interest level goes from high to low back to high and so on. I’ve had sex with her once and hang out with her all the time. I do not know what to think about her feelings toward me. How do I find out if she’s in to me or just playin mind games with me? I may cut all contact with her soon.

 

[Vulpine]

Sex more - hang out less.

If she's uncommitted, it's an FB relationship, and you should treat it as such. If not, the hanging out without sex means you are her girlfriend and you should definitely cut that off without delay. She's probably has a jerk on the side fuxing her, and she's hanging out with you to make up the rest. Can you see that? When did you fux her? Early on in this month, or later in the month? If it was earlier in the month without sexin' later, then you are in the friend zone. If it was later on and more recently, she may just be "taking it slow" and there is actually hope.

 

[Bronxtal112]

Sex more - hang out less.

If she's uncommitted, it's an FB relationship, and you should treat it as such. If not, the hanging out without sex means you are her girlfriend and you should definitely cut that off without delay. She's probably has a jerk on the side fuxing her, and she's hanging out with you to make up the rest. Can you see that? When did you fux her? Early on in this month, or later in the month? If it was earlier in the month without sexin' later, then you are in the friend zone. If it was later on and more recently, she may just be "taking it slow" and there is actually hope.

Thanks for the insight. Yes, it was very recently and later on in the month.

 

[Vulpine]

Good for you then. Keep up whatever you are doing: it must be working. She is actively dating, but if you knocked her booties recently, then you are doing someting right.

Try not to overanalyze, relax, and stay fun and a challenge. Try to sex her at least 3 out of 5 times you hang out and she'll continue to prioritize you over her other dates.

But don't go 5 for 5, she'll get the idea that she's getting used for sex, and the quality will drop off. You know, mix it up. Maybe cut a date short when you obviously should be fuxing - it will drive her bonkers!

Good luck, man!

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Mixed Signals

I hate the term 'Mixed Signals'. More often than not there's nothing 'Mixed' being communicated and rather it's a failure to read what a woman is communicating. The average guy tends to 'get' exactly what a woman has implied with her words, but it takes practice to read her behavior and then apply it to his own. When a girl goes from hot to cold and back again, THIS IS the message - she's got buyers regret, you're not her first priority, she's deliberating between you and what she perceives is a better prospect, you were better looking when she was drunk, etc. - the message isn't the 'what ifs', the message IS her own hesitation and how her behavior manifests it.

Women with high IL wont confuse you. When a woman wants to fukk she'll find a way to fukk. If she's fluctuating between being into you and then not, put her away for a while and spin other plates. If she sorts it out for herself and pursues you, then you are still playing in your frame and you maintain the value of your attention to her. It's when you patiently while away your time wondering wht the magic formula is that'll bring her around that you lean over into her frame.

 

[Crowes]

I hate the term 'Mixed Signals'. More often than not there's nothing 'Mixed' being communicated and rather it's a failure to read what a woman is communicating. The average guy tends to 'get' exactly what a woman has implied with her words, but it takes practice to read her behavior and then apply it to his own. When a girl goes from hot to cold and back again, THIS IS the message - she's got buyers regret, you're not her first priority, she's deliberating between you and what she perceives is a better prospect, you were better looking when she was drunk, etc. - the message isn't the 'what ifs', the message IS her own hesitation and how her behavior manifests it.

Women with high IL wont confuse you. When a woman wants to fukk she'll find a way to fukk. If she's fluctuating between being into you and then not, put her away for a while and spin other plates. If she sorts it out for herself and pursues you, then you are still playing in your frame and you maintain the value of your attention to her. It's when you patiently while away your time wondering wht the magic formula is that'll bring her around that you lean over into her frame.[/QUOTE

True, for the most part. "Women that want to fvck you won't confuse you."

Rollo, I respect your posts and opinions, but you know this is not true! They may not do it at first, but it is certainly COMING, like a freight train! The 'timing' is key, situations differ.

So I disagree, women w/ high interest CAN fool you! But it IS your fault gentleman! Sharpen your skills.

 

[mountain]

True, for the most part. "Women that want to fvck you won't confuse you."

Rollo, I respect your posts and opinions, but you know this is not true! They may not do it at first, but it is certainly COMING, like a freight train! The 'timing' is key, situations differ.

So I disagree, women w/ high interest CAN fool you! But it IS your fault gentleman! Sharpen your skills.

I have to second Crowes' opinion. It sounds nice in theory that a women with high interest will never try to play with you head, but it's not the case. Women aren't that cut and dry. You may also think that a DJ always triumph over lesser men. The fact is DJs scare some women. A woman will leave a DJ for an AFC because she's at a point where she wants security over excitement. And I'm not talking about just older women.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

CROWES, 90% of what most guys think are 'mixed signals' or confusing behavior coming from a woman is simply due to their inability (for whatever reason) to make an accurate interpretation of why she's behaving in such a manner. Usually this boils down to a guy getting so wrapped up in a girl (i.e. ONEitis) that he'd rather make concessions for this behavior than see it for what it really is. In other words, it's far easier to call it 'mixed messages' or fall back on the old chestnut of how fickle women are, when in fact it's simply a rationale to keep themselves on the hook, so to speak, because they lack any real, viable, options with other women in their lives.

 

[Crowes]

CROWES, 90% of what most guys think are 'mixed signals' or confusing behavior coming from a woman is simply due to their inability (for whatever reason) to make an accurate interpretation of why she's behaving in such a manner. Usually this boils down to a guy getting so wrapped up in a girl (i.e. ONEitis) that he'd rather make concessions for this behavior than see it for what it really is. In other words, it's far easier to call it 'mixed messages' or fall back on the old chestnut of how fickle women are, when in fact it's simply a rationale to keep themselves on the hook, so to speak, because they lack any real, viable, options with other women in their lives.

I must have pissed you off in the past. It's OK, I can take it. I'm not going to argue w/ you on this at this moment Pook, I'm tired and going to bed. Your reply is splendid, IMHO. However, I'll return.

 

[Bonhomme]

~~~~ And sometime's a very high-interest gal is batsh1t crazy. I've dealt with that one a few times, Fortunately just a few.

 

[Crowes]

CROWES, 90% of what most guys think are 'mixed signals' or confusing behavior coming from a woman is simply due to their inability (for whatever reason) to make an accurate interpretation of why she's behaving in such a manner. Usually this boils down to a guy getting so wrapped up in a girl (i.e. ONEitis) that he'd rather make concessions for this behavior than see it for what it really is. In other words, it's far easier to call it 'mixed messages' or fall back on the old chestnut of how fickle women are, when in fact it's simply a rationale to keep themselves on the hook, so to speak, because they lack any real, viable, options with other women in their lives.

Great reply, but you want me to believe interested women don't test/confuse you, on purpose? We must live on seperate planets.

Your position is a bit, IMO, too strict to apply as a blanket statement. You admitted they are 'fickle'. And I totally agree. Plus there are tons of other criteria they consider. So, why again do you loathe the 'mixed message' topic?

 

[d9930380]

Rollo Tomassi - I agree. There is no such thing as mixed signals. Alot of the times girls will try to be nice and simply slowly put the guy in the friendzone before she hits him with the "I think we're better of as friends" at the early stages. She then expects him to **** off out of her life or get the message that they ARE just friends. That's the reason why they are confused as "mixed", because she's pulling the plaster off slowly.

Why do girls do this? A number of reasons:

1. They fear confrontation with a guy who might be twice the size of her and she wants him to get the message before it happens.
2. She doesn't want to appear a *****.
3. She also might be keeping him around because he's useful, has good friends, funny, buys her drinks, shoulder to cry on blah blah blah.
4. Alot of girls don't get on with girls, they prefer male company. Men are generally more fun to go out with, she might want you as a friend.

Don't give a girl friendship in my oppion unless YOU get something out of it (i.e. a shot at her friends) because the truth is girls generally aren't the best company to be around and the only fun WE have is when we're trying to pull them.

If she was to reject him straight away then she would loose all that.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

CROWES, go back and re-read what I posted. I stated that women who are 'into you' don't confuse you. If her IL is on the fence that's when guys get 'confused' and fall back on the mixed signals rationalization for her behaviors. But it's exactly this behavior that IS the message being communicated and men would rather believe they're solving a problem than see it for what the behavior implies.

When I brought up the "fickleness" of women it was in the context of how men are so apt to apply this cop out for their own inability to recognize why a woman is behaving in a manner that's confusing them - and in particular, it's men with few or no other options than to put up with the behavior because they have default ONEitis.

A woman that has a high IL in a guy has no need (and less motivation) to engage in behaviors that would compromise her status with him. Women of all ILs will sh!t test and men will pass or fail accordingly, but a test is more easily recognizable.

 

[mountain]

A woman that has a high IL in a guy has no need (and less motivation) to engage in behaviors that would compromise her status with him. Women of all ILs will sh!t test and men will pass or fail accordingly, but a test is more easily recognizable.

I agree with everything else you wrote. but temporarily pretending to have lost interest in a man is one of the most popular **** tests women use to gain power. it could potentially be indistinguishable from actual disinterest.

 

[drZaius09]

The great Dr has returned for another exciting edition of ******** 101:

SHE SAYS:

She already told me she didn’t want an exclusive relationship because she did not want to be hurt again.

TRANSLATION: "I don't want an exclusive relationship with YOU because you're only a seat-warmer for the BBD. I'm hoping that if I use some lame, overplayed BS excuse for keeping my distance, you'll go easier on me when I finally drop your ass."

I may cut all contact with her

At least try to have sex with her a few more times. I mean, sh*t

 

[cordoncordon]

Dr. Zauis, Dr. Zauis, oh Dr. Zauis
Dr. Zauis, Dr. Zauis, oh Dr. Zauis
Dr. Zauis, Dr. Zauis, oh oh oh Dr. Zauis!

 

[Crowes]

I hate the term 'Mixed Signals'. More often than not there's nothing 'Mixed' being communicated and rather it's a failure to read what a woman is communicating. The average guy tends to 'get' exactly what a woman has implied with her words, but it takes practice to read her behavior and then apply it to his own. When a girl goes from hot to cold and back again, THIS IS the message - she's got buyers regret, you're not her first priority, she's deliberating between you and what she perceives is a better prospect, you were better looking when she was drunk, etc. - the message isn't the 'what ifs', the message IS her own hesitation and how her behavior manifests it.

Women with high IL wont confuse you. When a woman wants to fukk she'll find a way to fukk. If she's fluctuating between being into you and then not, put her away for a while and spin other plates. If she sorts it out for herself and pursues you, then you are still playing in your frame and you maintain the value of your attention to her. It's when you patiently while away your time wondering wht the magic formula is that'll bring her around that you lean over into her frame.

Rollo, not all guys have YOUR experience. Look, they don't 'really' give a shyt what you think.They care what their friends and other socialites think.
What they think of you, that is. Do her friends want to fvck you? If yes, very good, this is what she wants. This will drive her like no other force, to obtain you. If not, well......you know the answer.

They will do astonshingly absurd thinds to portray an 'image', the one they want perceived by their social circle. Their interest in you, however strong, will be a victim to this. As LIT said, and I agree, "a woman's mind against popular vote, she is a sheep".

And they will sacrifice, what you and I as men, cannot fathom, to portray this silly image. So I don't care where you are w/ her, she WILL confuse you.

She will let you slip away, if you do not succumb to the parameters of her current social circle. These parameters usually, in my experience, consist of .....hell w/ it, we all should know.