Need help. I have a mild case of oneitis for this girl. It is weird how you can go from thinking a girl is 'just ok' to being really hot for her. Luckily, I have learned to recognize when I am starting to get oneitis for a girl - and I am able to stop myself from doing anything (late night phone call, interrogating her 'where we stand', stupid crap like that) that would totally ruin it. So far, I have been playing it relatively cool. I keep reminding myself that she is not all that anyway, and that as a DJ I have the ability to manifest someone just like her if I want to, possibly someone better, whenever I go out sarging.
Met this girl at a club 1.5 months ago. We have gone out a few times, we were together over NYE. On our first date we went out to eat and had a drink at a bar. On our date I found out that it was actually her birthday, so I was 'her birthday present' in her words. We didn't kiss except on the cheek.
I asked her out the next week. I told her to come over to my house and I'd make her dinner. She flaked out on me at the last minute. I decided I was through with her and didn't contact her for more than a week. Then she started emailing and texting me again. We went out on our second date, we saw a movie together and it was a really fun night. We finally kissed on the lips and snuggled on the couch a little bit.
Over X-mas she was texting me and calling me all day.
The next night I went over to her house and we hung out. I met her mom and her daughter - she's a single mom, she is 30. I'm 33. Last night when we were alone I tried to kiss her a number of times but she seemed cold. She didn't want to do any making out or anything. I think it was because her mom and her daughter were in the house at the same time.
So I ask her to hang out with me on New Years. We go out to a fancy club with friends from my work. She looked really good and a lot of guys at the club were hitting on her, especially as it got closer to midnight. I would turn around when I look back she'd be surrounded by like 4 guys trying to talk to her. One guy bought her a rose and I got jealous and kind of got in his face. She gave me a disapproving look when I got into it with this guy - so for the rest of the night I had to sit back and play it cool when guys would try to hit on her. She would always tell them - 'I'm with him' and point to me - it was weird having to deal with this though.
We make out that night at the club and she asks me if she can sleep over at my place. Laying in bed that night she told me I was overprotective and controlling because of what she perceived as my jealous nature - despite the fact that I played it cool for the great majority of the night while guys hit on her. People have a very selective memory and only remember what they want to remember once they think they know you. This is very ironic that she called me 'controlling' and 'that I try to tell her what to do' - when earlier in the day she told me that 'the best relationships are when the woman is in control. I responded that my parents had been together for close to 40 years and my dad is in control. She told me that a lot of times it looks like the man is in charge when actually the woman is controlling the relationship behind closed doors. So she is accusing me of being controlling and yet she tells me that it is her desire to be the one in control of the relationship. She was joking when she told me this, but still she believes it.
On our second date she told me she dated this guy last year but broke up with him because he was 'too sweet' - she described it like 'you know when you eat too much chocolate, you don't want to eat it after a while'. Well, that night when we were laying in bed she said I was 'too sweet'. Great. So now I feel like I need to lay off and not call her for a while. I am very frustrated because I know what it is like when people are clingy in relationships and I honestly do not feel like I am being clingy around this girl - but she sees me this way. I don't know what I did to give off this impression.
But then we started grinding and going at it in bed, I didn't full close but I did everything else. When we woke up in the morning we were both hung over as hell, and she was back to being sort of cold to me. So I've been dating this girl for more than a month and have gone almost all the way - but most of the time she is cold to me. When I dropped her off at her place I tried to make out with her again, but she stopped me and told me to 'relax'. Then she told me she'd call me, it has been a week and she hasn't called.
I am waiting to see how long it will take her to call. I don't plan to call her. I have been going out with my friends and working a lot. I don't know if I did anything to spoil it, or if she is testing me to see if I will crack and do something stupid like call and interrogate her about 'where we stand'. I'm not going to do that. Or maybe she is seeing someone else, I know she works with her ex boyfriend and that he texted her on New Years Day. He was an ******* to her from what I hear, which means she probably still likes him.
I need to detach myself from what is going to happen with this girl. I am a little annoyed that she labelled me as 'too nice' and 'controlling/jealous'. That is not me. I may have handled one situation that night badly but then the rest of the night when guys hit on her I was cool about it. But there's no way I can call her up and explain it to her. I have to show her by appearing not to care. I don't care that much, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't care at all. I'd like to get your opinions on what's going on with this girl, and why she is so hot/cold with me. I feel like I am doing the right thing by not calling her but it is a little difficult.
Met this girl at a club 1.5 months ago. We have gone out a few times, we were together over NYE. On our first date we went out to eat and had a drink at a bar. On our date I found out that it was actually her birthday, so I was 'her birthday present' in her words. We didn't kiss except on the cheek.
I asked her out the next week. I told her to come over to my house and I'd make her dinner. She flaked out on me at the last minute. I decided I was through with her and didn't contact her for more than a week. Then she started emailing and texting me again. We went out on our second date, we saw a movie together and it was a really fun night. We finally kissed on the lips and snuggled on the couch a little bit.
Over X-mas she was texting me and calling me all day.
The next night I went over to her house and we hung out. I met her mom and her daughter - she's a single mom, she is 30. I'm 33. Last night when we were alone I tried to kiss her a number of times but she seemed cold. She didn't want to do any making out or anything. I think it was because her mom and her daughter were in the house at the same time.
So I ask her to hang out with me on New Years. We go out to a fancy club with friends from my work. She looked really good and a lot of guys at the club were hitting on her, especially as it got closer to midnight. I would turn around when I look back she'd be surrounded by like 4 guys trying to talk to her. One guy bought her a rose and I got jealous and kind of got in his face. She gave me a disapproving look when I got into it with this guy - so for the rest of the night I had to sit back and play it cool when guys would try to hit on her. She would always tell them - 'I'm with him' and point to me - it was weird having to deal with this though.
We make out that night at the club and she asks me if she can sleep over at my place. Laying in bed that night she told me I was overprotective and controlling because of what she perceived as my jealous nature - despite the fact that I played it cool for the great majority of the night while guys hit on her. People have a very selective memory and only remember what they want to remember once they think they know you. This is very ironic that she called me 'controlling' and 'that I try to tell her what to do' - when earlier in the day she told me that 'the best relationships are when the woman is in control. I responded that my parents had been together for close to 40 years and my dad is in control. She told me that a lot of times it looks like the man is in charge when actually the woman is controlling the relationship behind closed doors. So she is accusing me of being controlling and yet she tells me that it is her desire to be the one in control of the relationship. She was joking when she told me this, but still she believes it.
On our second date she told me she dated this guy last year but broke up with him because he was 'too sweet' - she described it like 'you know when you eat too much chocolate, you don't want to eat it after a while'. Well, that night when we were laying in bed she said I was 'too sweet'. Great. So now I feel like I need to lay off and not call her for a while. I am very frustrated because I know what it is like when people are clingy in relationships and I honestly do not feel like I am being clingy around this girl - but she sees me this way. I don't know what I did to give off this impression.
But then we started grinding and going at it in bed, I didn't full close but I did everything else. When we woke up in the morning we were both hung over as hell, and she was back to being sort of cold to me. So I've been dating this girl for more than a month and have gone almost all the way - but most of the time she is cold to me. When I dropped her off at her place I tried to make out with her again, but she stopped me and told me to 'relax'. Then she told me she'd call me, it has been a week and she hasn't called.
I am waiting to see how long it will take her to call. I don't plan to call her. I have been going out with my friends and working a lot. I don't know if I did anything to spoil it, or if she is testing me to see if I will crack and do something stupid like call and interrogate her about 'where we stand'. I'm not going to do that. Or maybe she is seeing someone else, I know she works with her ex boyfriend and that he texted her on New Years Day. He was an ******* to her from what I hear, which means she probably still likes him.
I need to detach myself from what is going to happen with this girl. I am a little annoyed that she labelled me as 'too nice' and 'controlling/jealous'. That is not me. I may have handled one situation that night badly but then the rest of the night when guys hit on her I was cool about it. But there's no way I can call her up and explain it to her. I have to show her by appearing not to care. I don't care that much, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't care at all. I'd like to get your opinions on what's going on with this girl, and why she is so hot/cold with me. I feel like I am doing the right thing by not calling her but it is a little difficult.
