Mixed Signals-need advice

[WrEcKLeSS2000]

Hey guys, it's been a long time since I've been on--I've finally gotten back into the game...Here is the situation--

I finally got a date a few weeks ago

I met this girl at a bar....She gave me major IOI---she was touching my shoulder a few times---good eye contact---we talked for a while and I told her that I liked to play mini-golf and she said she likes to play as well and then she said that she would like to play with me...We exchanged numbers--
Shes about a 6(not hot at all) and personality is shaky at best--

I called her up and arranged the date...Anyway, we played some mini golf--had an okay time---Her personality is kind of weird---she doesn't really have a good sense of humor----she doesn't laugh that much which is annoying because I like to tell jokes lol.. She was actually kind of annoying...
At of the date---we just hugged.. that was it...


I called her up in a few days to arrange a dinner date---we met up--she was dressed up pretty nicely--we had a few beers and some food--She grabbed my hand a couple times and brushed up against my leg--good eye contact--intimate space...I actually liked her personality better this time...

She was in a rush at the end of the night, and I didn't know if I should go in for a kiss close---(it would be a first time for me period)---but she was in a rush and just gave me a hug and left---not really great timing at the end of the date--... but it seemed like we both had a good time..


So anyway--in between these days---I wanted to take her bowling---she actually said that she doesn't like to bowl for whatever reason--so she kinda bailed but everytime she bailed she was sincere--(she got caught up hanging with her friends, a little shady)--she arranged something else with me later on anyway--


Anyway, a few days ago we scheduled a meet up for mini golf again-thats tentatively for next week after we get off work---
I saw her yesterday at this young networking event---
This is when it got weird

I sat down before she arrived and when she showed up 10 min later--there was a seat right next to me and she did not sit next to me when she could have--she sat like a few seats away from me---I acted like it didn't bother me..
So when the event was over, I got up, went to say hello--she was kinda standoffish---only said a few words to me, and I was like "so we still on for mini golf next week and she said yeah---she did say she was having a bad day and was out of it--something like that----then she kinda walked away and didn't even say goodbye lol--no hug or anything--just walked away--

So I left without saying goodbye to her (i said bye to everyoneelse)

Anyway, I'm getting too hung up on this girl--she is nothing great--looks wise and personality---Plus she has an incredibly busy schedule and hardly has time to hang out and she lives far away..

After last night--I'm feeling that I should LJBF her and not put up with her BS.
I just want to continue getting experience dating---I'm holding on too much because these were my first real dates and I have so much trouble meeting girls in general...if I had other options--I would definitely drop her at this point...

I don't know what her deal is---she either lost interest or just weird or playing hard to get I dunno... We still have a tentative plan for next week but I don't think I should call her---if she wants to get in touch with me to confirm then ok but if not then next her

What do you guys think I should do?

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Lots of younger guys are big believers in the "mixed signals theory." Coming to the conclusion that the girl is a game player, is hot & cold etc etc. Do you want to know the truth?

Girls don't give mixed signals when they have high interest. When your the #1 option, the MVP, the closer, she will never give you mixed signals.

When she's having a bad day, your mere presence will turn her bad day into a good day.

----------------------------------------------

This girl had interest in you in the beginning, but most likely the flame fizzled somewhere between the first and second date.

What did you guys talk about on both dates?

Were you escalating? Touching? Flirting, teasing?

In either case at this point is very easy to see that her interest in you is low at best. She will either flake for your date next week or go still, but just enjoy the free ride without giving you anything.

If this girl doesn't initiate any contact with you (text, IM's phone calls), doesn't seem geninuely exicted when she hears from you and doesn't make it easy to set up dates, then you should drop her.

Answer the questions above, give her the benefit of the doubt on the bad day for now, go ahead and go on the date as planned for next week. If she's acting lame or is in a rush to get out of there, then delete her number after and don't contact her in any way again.


The one thing your right about is finding more options... when you do this, you don't even bother with girls who are boring or so so, this increases attraction on their part and they will chase you when you show them you don't need them.





PIMP

 

[ARrocket]

Pimp-sicle is 100% correct.

The problem I see her is that she seemed into you physically, but YOU are coming off as interested in "getting to know her" a bit too much IMO. That is, YOU'RE NOT MOVING FAST ENOUGH!!!!!!!

Minigolf. Ok, fair enough. But did you escalate? Probably not. At the end, did you try to extend the date? "Hey come over and watch (insert movie here) with me!" Something like that. Try to kiss her! Don't be scared.

Even if it ended the way it did...next date...dinner? Come on, do something less serious, meet up for drinks and go back to your place! Or just invite her over. You could even have cooked dinner for her, that way she's already in your house. See where I'm going with this?

NEXT....you wanna go bowling with her??? Dude...just bone her already. You can't fvck her in a bowling alley. Stop taking her out places, bring her to your domain.

And yes, you're putting way too much effort into this girl...

 

[loveshogun]

Agreed

Girls don't give mixed signals when they have high interest. When your the #1 option, the MVP, the closer, she will never give you mixed signals.

This is truth.

Don't even LJBF with her unless you actually find her helpful in some way - you don't exactly sound swept off your feet by her personality.

 

[f283000]

She grabbed my hand a couple times and brushed up against my leg--good eye contact--intimate space...I actually liked her personality better this time...

From reading your post it seems she was the only one doing kino when you guys went out! Where's the part about you touching her? When you start touching them and they start touching you back as a reaction to your kino you know it's game on. Next time you be the initiator of the kino.

In fact your whole post shows nothing about you creating attraction. I don't see nothing about you teasing her, neggin her, doing kino on her, talking about subjects related to kissing/sex. Seriously did you do anything to create attraction with her or did you just hangout with her? (which is what it sounds like you did just hanged out with a female)

If this wasn't the dj forums I would have thought you went out with a friend! Nothing in your post shows you went on a romantic date or tried to seduce a female.

Next time you have a date when you step out of your house go out with the mentality of trying to seduce this woman! Rather than what it looks like you did here which is "hangout" with this girl.

 

[WrEcKLeSS2000]

Excellent advice everyone!! I really appreciate it!!

Update on the situation...She didn't bother calling me about the tentative plan (a flake)

I'm nexting her...I deleted her number and I'm done talking to her...I actually saw her last night at this after hours event...She was sitting down talking to some guy and I said wassup to this guy that I knew that was near her..She looked at me and didn't say anything...I didn't say anything to her--just snubbed her...She isn't worth anything---I will probably see her from time to time b/c we go to similar events but I'm not gonna bother saying anything to her it's pointless...

She's ugly and has a horrible personality....For the future, I will definitely escalate more but with a girl that I'm attracted to and interested in..This girl was total crap---Just experience going out---so I'm just trying to meet other girls..

I approached several sets of girls at this after hours event by myself---unlike the other guys that were standing there talking to their friends...Anyway, one of them said she had a b/f without me asking her out or anything---but she was an airhead...

Another girl was engaged and a little too old for me...Not much of a good selection but I'm proud of myself for approaching 2 and 3 sets by myself unlike those other guys--

I'm always on the lookout for hot girls to approach so I'm keeping a positive outlook and when I get an opportunity, I'll take advantage of it..