mixed signals from colleague

[morto]

This girls mixed messages are driving me crazy. She knows I like her because I asked her out last year and she said no but I still can't stop thinking about her so when I see her and her colleagues at work I say hi.

One time they had their back to me, I said hi, she turned around and looked me in the eyes but gave a squinty type look with narrow eyes and a smile that almost looked forced. Her colleague, we'll call her colleague X, also turned and looked at me. This happened twice.

Then I saw her alone so I said hi and she looked at me really surprised like a deer in the headlights with really wide eyes and she held this look for about 5 seconds while I asked some small talk questions, which she answered, then I walked away because she just looked too surprised.

I thought maybe I could get some info out of her friend colleague X, so I said hi a couple of times at a work social function when my crush wasn't around and both times she replied by asking if I'm ok, as if I looked really upset, and I'm pretty sure I didn't.

I don't know what's going on. Do you?

 

[user name]

This girls mixed messages are driving me crazy. She knows I like her because I asked her out last year and she said no but I still can't stop thinking about her so when I see her and her colleagues at work I say hi.

One time they had their back to me, I said hi, she turned around and looked me in the eyes but gave a squinty type look with narrow eyes and a smile that almost looked forced. Her colleague, we'll call her colleague X, also turned and looked at me. This happened twice.

Then I saw her alone so I said hi and she looked at me really surprised like a deer in the headlights with really wide eyes and she held this look for about 5 seconds while I asked some small talk questions, which she answered, then I walked away because she just looked too surprised.

I thought maybe I could get some info out of her friend colleague X, so I said hi a couple of times at a work social function when my crush wasn't around and both times she replied by asking if I'm ok, as if I looked really upset, and I'm pretty sure I didn't.

I don't know what's going on. Do you?

what 'mixed' signals are you referring to?

 

[morto]

That wide eyed look, is it definitely bad?

 

[user name]

That wide eyed look, is it definitely bad?

hard to say. but juxtaposed with a rejection and a forced smile, i'm leaning towards 'not good'....

 

[morto]

Yeah I guess you're right. But she doesn't seem to avoid me. Maybe I should avoid her.

 

[user name]

Yeah I guess you're right. But she doesn't seem to avoid me. Maybe I should avoid her.

Just be normal. Like you would with a colleague. She knows you like her. If she wanted you, you'd know about it.

In the meantime focus your attention on other things and other women. Obsession is a sure-fire killer of anything.


I suppose you wouldn't listen if i told you not to mess with people you work with? Same thing happened to me once. Never again.

 

[morto]

Yes I was naive and I definitely won't get caught up in any crap like this again!

 

[morto]

why would she not simply ignore me?

 

[morto]

it's just in the 2 weeks before this happened as we passed eachother in the corridor she raised her eyebrows at me cheekily and gave me a real smile. this happened 3 times but her attitude suddenly changed.

 

[nismo-4]

OP, mixed signals means low to no interest! Women who are interested in you won't confuse you! Let that marinate.

Case closed.

 

[HyperAnalyze]

MIXED SIGNALS ARE BAD SIGNALS...

No woman will flake or toy with you if they are interested.

 

[VladPatton]

I know what you're going through, the confusion of it all. Listen to the guys, mixed signals are NOT GOOD. Girls play games and fück with you all the time out of sheer boredom and perverse pleasure. Stop giving a shıt when you're around her. She is not interested, the deal went south, and nothing you can do now will change that. So, why not act cool about it and spare yourself the silliness? Just forget her stupid shıt and dumb ass surprised eyes and barely give her a hello next time.

 

[NewJack]

So here's the painful truth of it as I see it.

She probably likes you, on some level. She feels it. Thats why the 'forced smile' and 'deer in the headlights' - people who are indifferent do not act that way. She is carrying the burden of a small to medium amount of sexual tension around you, or at least awkwardness. That's a good thing. Attraction is always two ways, according to my beliefs and experience.

But each girl only has 1 vag1na. Is there a likelihood that there is no one else in her life? Probably not. She probably already has a commitment.

The funny thing about all this is - here we are on a seduction board, where the world is understood (by some) as being a push-button universe. Can you look at this situation and begin to understand how it can't happen just by your own desiring it? It can't even happen just by her desiring it, although that sure would help!

People talk about recognizing a woman's signals. The universe also gives signals. (OK, stop reading now, I'm obviously crazy, lol!). If you ever feel like you are swimming upstream, fighting unbeatable odds, and trying a last-ditch effort to make something work, look up and take note. That is the universe's way of saying: Dear Friend, This Isn't Happening! That's the universe NOT giving you an IOI!!

The thing that prompted me to write that was recognizing how tenuous your workplace contact was - you're talking about walking by her, seeing her in the corridor, trying to talk with her friend. I know all about that sh1t. Trying to make something happen when even the situation isn't in place for casual contact.

There is a deep musical score that runs beneath the outer fabric of our lives. It pushes us all forward toward Meaning, and into Meaning. This musical score brings together people in the only way that allows them to form lasting bonds. We are not the conductors of this score, even though I've seen about a million posts indicating otherwise. You can, if you try, change an eight-note to a quarter-note, or flatten a note here or there, but when it comes to playing a sustained melody or bringing things to a crescendo -- that is simply beyond the powers of man. We are not the conductor.

If a romance was in the music, you would find this woman suddenly given roles where she had to be around you more often. Suddenly, you'd be assigned a project together, suddenly, she'd be getting to know you. She wouldn't be in a relationship if thats what was intended. Your romance isn't written in the music, at least for the next few movements. Learn to recognize that now, and learn to listen patiently until the time does come for you to play that sweet melody. Because the time will inevitably come.

 

[ArcBound]

One of Rollo's oldest posts on his blog "The Rational Male"

http://therationalmale.com/2011/09/06/the-medium-is-the-message/

The Medium Is The Message.