Mistakes with this one girl...I need some help

[Aldo]

Background:
I've been talking to this girl for a while. She usually initiates kino for no reason, and sometimes I kino her. We tease each other a lot, talk to each other, the likes. I recently got her number.

Situation:
I texted her and we had a short little flirty conversation. I ended it because I was tired. The next day, we flirted in class. She said something and my friends made it overtly sexual. I added in one comment ("We need to go to dinner before we do that"), she responded with a joke of her own, and that was it. My friends kept the innuendo going, but I didn't.

So later that day, I end up asking her to Prom. She says yes.

THEN...the next day, she texts me telling me she was really waiting for someone else to ask her, that she only said "yes" because she didn't want to hurt my feelings, and that she feels really awful about the whole thing. I respond with something along the lines of "Oh well, I'll have to find another girl".

Mistakes:
I think I wasn't aggressive enough with her.

#1: It took me a WHILE to finally ask for her number
#2: She initiated most of the kino and I didn't reciprocate most of it
#3: The whole sexual innuendo thing from the other day...I didn't take advantage of it to create sexual tension
#4: I developed a sort of half-assed one-itus for her

So I may be in the friend-zone with her, but I'm not sure. I've read ways to get out of the friend-zone (don't communicate as much for a little while, increase kino when you do communicate), so I may be OK there. But what do you guys think? Is she still interested, did I blow it completely, or am I partially in the friend-zone?

Also, should I still text her and should I ask her to hang out sometime? Obviously not now, but sometime soon? Should I still try to game her even though she's going with someone else to Prom?

 

[Park]

Ask her out and if the date goes okay go for the prom, that was a mistake for you to answer that message she sent you (about the prom).. Maybe she was just testing you, It would've been better if you didn't text her back.

 

[Park]

and, don't sms her. Ask her out in real life, make it fun, nothing serious.. Just two of you hanging out. Then go for the kino more and if she likes it then she's into you ofc.. but why did you answer to her sms about prom? "I respond with something along the lines of "Oh well, I'll have to find another girl".. That's not very manly stuff. "I'll have to find" ? I am sorry? There are LOT OF GIRLS THAT WANNA GO TO PROM WITH YOU, YES, YOU and only YOU because YOU act like MAN, YOU ARE THE MAN..

NOW go out and ask her out. Have couple of days w/o contact. no sms, no facebook, no msn, nothing.

 

[Aldo]

So I should just not contact her for a couple of days, then maybe talk to her a little, then ask her to hang out (like go to the movies or something)?

Also, reading exactly what I sent in response, I said that I'll have to see if I could go with my original date. I had someone else I was going to go with before her.

 

[Park]

movies is bad in my opinion, just go for a walk or something, maybe have a tea or something.. So if you have someone else, why are you worrying this much? You can next her if you want to, but I'd give a try.

 

[freshprince]

hmm i am sorry park but i have a different view on this

it seems to me that your not in the friend-zone yet, your too worried on whether or not this chick likes you or not, i read a article about this, don't be too obsessed it will only push her away, just be calm and assume that she likes you, try to build sexual tension so that it will keep you out of the friend zone
you can keep pursuing if you like, see if you can push that other guy out of the way that she is interested in or it could have just been a test to see how you would have responded to that but still hang out with her by asking on dates like park said and read the article on dating to make you score some points

To me you did the right thing when you said ''oh well i'll have to find another girl shows that your not desperate or that you don't really care, you can find another and is she going with someone else or is she still waiting for the answer or your not sure? either way going to prom with another guy would probably induce jealously.

O yea and like parker said don't sms her dude, i never really approved of that you have to watch on what you are texting because their is visual proof of what you said, i don't know how old your are so i will just assume your are around my age 17/18, i see lots of guys get messed up cruel because of that when them and the girl gets wrong but this does not apply to you, i just thought i should point it out for future reference.

anyways if it don't work out you can dump the chick so don't worry too much.

 

[Park]

i agree with you, and actually we have similar points. a) he is not in a friend zone yet, he gotta give it a shot, but i think that it is easier not to sms/text at ALL than text something, because you can easily get in a mood where you want to tell about your feelings and so on.., which is always kindah bad .. and b) Maybe it was ok to tell her that I'll have to find another girl, but we should stop over-analyzing and let this guy do what he feels is the best, which is GOING FOR HER!!! DO IT!

 

[freshprince]

True i get ya but feelings get in the way of thinking rationally and logically so its not always best to let your feelings influence how you act.

 

[garruk]

to the OP,

to be honest man, high school is really different than the real world. in high school, girls will crush on guys for lengthy periods of time which is somehting that just doesnt happen anymore.


from the sounds of it, she was already crushing on another guy when you entered the picture. while you may have successfully piqued her interest, its more than likely that she's still really interested in the other guy. Also, status is soo important in high school as well, where just having good game can do very little in terms of getting girls. i remember watching these girls who were friends with my gf at the time essentially mapping out the entire school and ranking every group on a ladder of "coolness". these girls would have said "yes" to nayone from a higher level regardless of how terrrible their game was.