Mistake? Or Was I Batting Out Of My League?

[calisurfer1984]

Friday night of Labor Day weekend, friend and I have plans to hang out but he had a family emergency at the last minute and bails. I already got ready so I go to one of my favorite pickup spots alone and post up.

Two hours into the night, there are two open seats next to me at the bar. A blonde and her friend sit in the open seats, the blonde right next to me. I sense a proximity IOI and indirect open, asking her if she likes college football.

We chat for the next two and a half hours until the lights go on and the bar closes. I'm seeing all the signs that indicate strong interest: her friend bails to leave her alone with me so we can keep talking, she keeps the conversation going at every point of silence, every time I break eye contact she flips her hair or touches my arm, strong eye contact the whole conversation. Then comes the strong kino, our legs touching under the table where nobody can see us, etc. Didn't kiss close, didn't try. The right moment didn't present itself. I'm sure if I lunged at it, I could have made something happen, but I'm of a contrarian view around here - I don't make a move unless I'm feeling it. And sometimes that takes an hour and others it takes two or three dates. Depends on the girl and our connection.

At the end of the night, she apologized for hogging the conversation and talking the whole time, worried that she bored me. I told her not to sweat it and went to another part of the bar to see a friend and she left with her friend.

FWIW, I pulled the number in the middle of the conversation, she stayed and kept talking. Told her I'd reach out to her so we could meet up later this week. Sent a trial text his afternoon. No response.

Background on the girl: television reporter for local news station, hard 9.5, flirty, very confident and sure of herself, got a strong sense she knows what she wants and doesn't beat around the bush. Also of note, her contract with the TV station is up at the end of the month. Though she's been offered another deal, she's not sure about staying in the city I live in.

My theory: This girl is so in demand that she has at least 100 options at all times. I'm just a random guy she met in the bar whom she had a pleasant conversation with, but I didn't stand out enough to be the #1 pick in a draft with 100 prospects.

 

[marmel75]

Friday night of Labor Day weekend, friend and I have plans to hang out but he had a family emergency at the last minute and bails. I already got ready so I go to one of my favorite pickup spots alone and post up.

Two hours into the night, there are two open seats next to me at the bar. A blonde and her friend sit in the open seats, the blonde right next to me. I sense a proximity IOI and indirect open, asking her if she likes college football.

We chat for the next two and a half hours until the lights go on and the bar closes. I'm seeing all the signs that indicate strong interest: her friend bails to leave her alone with me so we can keep talking, she keeps the conversation going at every point of silence, every time I break eye contact she flips her hair or touches my arm, strong eye contact the whole conversation. Then comes the strong kino, our legs touching under the table where nobody can see us, etc. Didn't kiss close, didn't try. The right moment didn't present itself. I'm sure if I lunged at it, I could have made something happen, but I'm of a contrarian view around here - I don't make a move unless I'm feeling it. And sometimes that takes an hour and others it takes two or three dates. Depends on the girl and our connection.

At the end of the night, she apologized for hogging the conversation and talking the whole time, worried that she bored me. I told her not to sweat it and went to another part of the bar to see a friend and she left with her friend.

FWIW, I pulled the number in the middle of the conversation, she stayed and kept talking. Told her I'd reach out to her so we could meet up later this week. Sent a trial text his afternoon. No response.

Background on the girl: television reporter for local news station, hard 9.5, flirty, very confident and sure of herself, got a strong sense she knows what she wants and doesn't beat around the bush. Also of note, her contract with the TV station is up at the end of the month. Though she's been offered another deal, she's not sure about staying in the city I live in.

My theory: This girl is so in demand that she has at least 100 options at all times. I'm just a random guy she met in the bar whom she had a pleasant conversation with, but I didn't stand out enough to be the #1 pick in a draft with 100 prospects.

You didn't make a move, she was giving you the green light, you failed. Be contrarian all you like, she thinks you are a b!tch with no balls to go for what you wanted. Do you not think she knew why you spent 2.5 hours talking to her? Was it because you were sooooooooo interested in finding out everything about her, or was it because you wanted to fvck her?? Cmon bro, let's not be silly here.

There IS no right time to make a move, you just do it. Like Nike.

And yes, you are right. You didn't stand out, because you are like 99 of the 100 other guys who are too afraid to make a move on her. Instead of posting how you took this 9.5 HB chick home and railed her for 3 hours you are posting how you wish you did something else or if she was out of your league. Next time, don't give yourself the chance to have a regret. MAKE A MOVE.

 

[Tictac]

You're in the game.

Do you want to drop back to the minors every time you make an error or swing and miss?

 

[Infern0]

you text this afternoon, havent heard back yet and are already worried?

 

[calisurfer1984]

Worried's a bit of a stretch. I've long stopped losing sleep over lost prospects.

I believe her interest level, combined with her personality, means that she would text a guy she was interested in immediately. Her job likely requires her phone to be on her at all times, so the whole it-was-in-my-purse excuse doesn't fly. Thus, the fact that she hasn't texted indicates to me that she lost interest somewhere.

Maybe the earlier post about not railing this broad for hours that night kept me out of the game. I can live with that. I stopped just going for the bang a long time ago. I'm only interested in dating a woman I have a real connection with. So, if the fact that I didn't boff her that night caused her interest level to drop, then it was for the best. She's not my type if that's her screening process.

 

[marmel75]

Worried's a bit of a stretch. I've long stopped losing sleep over lost prospects.

I believe her interest level, combined with her personality, means that she would text a guy she was interested in immediately. Her job likely requires her phone to be on her at all times, so the whole it-was-in-my-purse excuse doesn't fly. Thus, the fact that she hasn't texted indicates to me that she lost interest somewhere.

Maybe the earlier post about not railing this broad for hours that night kept me out of the game. I can live with that. I stopped just going for the bang a long time ago. I'm only interested in dating a woman I have a real connection with. So, if the fact that I didn't boff her that night caused her interest level to drop, then it was for the best. She's not my type if that's her screening process.

Most women's screening process includes a guy who they know is sexually interested in them actually showing it in some way. If they wanted a gay friend, they wouldn't be out at a straight bar. Just saying.

Its not necessarily that you didn't fvck her. You didn't even do ANYTHING to show you wanted to be more than just a random dude who wants to talk to her. Why would she think otherwise based on your behavior?

 

[Trump]

Friday night of Labor Day weekend, friend and I have plans to hang out but he had a family emergency at the last minute and bails. I already got ready so I go to one of my favorite pickup spots alone and post up.

Two hours into the night, there are two open seats next to me at the bar. A blonde and her friend sit in the open seats, the blonde right next to me. I sense a proximity IOI and indirect open, asking her if she likes college football.

We chat for the next two and a half hours until the lights go on and the bar closes.

You "chat" with a girl you want to have sex with for 2.5 hours? Do you know what she is thinking? "This guy has nothing to do but entertain me, what a loser."

I'm seeing all the signs that indicate strong interest: her friend bails to leave her alone with me so we can keep talking, she keeps the conversation going at every point of silence, every time I break eye contact she flips her hair or touches my arm, strong eye contact the whole conversation. Then comes the strong kino, our legs touching under the table where nobody can see us, etc. Didn't kiss close, didn't try. The right moment didn't present itself. I'm sure if I lunged at it, I could have made something happen, but I'm of a contrarian view around here - I don't make a move unless I'm feeling it. And sometimes that takes an hour and others it takes two or three dates. Depends on the girl and our connection.

3 dates before you make a move? Bro she's already married and pregnant with twins by the time you decide to "make a move".

At the end of the night, she apologized for hogging the conversation and talking the whole time, worried that she bored me. I told her not to sweat it and went to another part of the bar to see a friend and she left with her friend.

FWIW, I pulled the number in the middle of the conversation, she stayed and kept talking. Told her I'd reach out to her so we could meet up later this week. Sent a trial text his afternoon. No response.

Background on the girl: television reporter for local news station, hard 9.5, flirty, very confident and sure of herself, got a strong sense she knows what she wants and doesn't beat around the bush. Also of note, her contract with the TV station is up at the end of the month. Though she's been offered another deal, she's not sure about staying in the city I live in.

My theory: This girl is so in demand that she has at least 100 options at all times. I'm just a random guy she met in the bar whom she had a pleasant conversation with, but I didn't stand out enough to be the #1 pick in a draft with 100 prospects.

My theory: girl needed an ego stoke because her 6'2 boyfriend dumped her for another model and provided that stroke perfectly.

Come on bro, you got to make the move right there. Can't wait with women, they will disregard you within 5 min and forget you in the next 10. :trouble:

 

[Harry Wilmington]

(sigh) Good grief, people - I'm sorry, but I just can't stand when people automatically lean towards all these negative reasons for a girl not hitting a guy up. "Oh, she probably has tons of other prospects;" "Oh, she just needed an ego stroke;" "Oh, she saw your text and thought you were a loser so she's testing you..." 9 times out of 10, NONE OF THAT STUFF IS TRUE.

Here are the facts that we have thus far:

1. You met a girl at a bar
2. You talked to her for 2.5 hrs, and got the number during that time
3. Her friend leaves at some point, thus leaving you two alone
4. You didn't try to kiss her or take her home because "you weren't feeling it"
5. You told her you'd call so you could meet up later this week
6. You sent a "trial text" (that you didn't tell us the context of), and got no response
7. She works at a TV station
8. She is confident, sure of herself and - according to you - a 9.5. on a 10 scale

That's all we know. Now, although we can't necessarily read what was in her head or what various life situations she has going on that would prevent her from responding back, here's what analysis CAN be made from what's been typed here from the OP:

1. You had a good convo going with her, but you moved too slow. After the first hour, you should have either (a) gotten the number and bolted, or (b) tried to get her to a more intimate location. Not necessarily your/her apartment, but somewhere you two could be alone to talk further and push for a make-out session at the very least.

2. Her friend is, by far, the BEST wing-woman ever. She left because she could read what was going on and didn't want to be a blocker.

3. If you weren't "feeling" like making more intimate moves on her, fine - you should have gotten the number and left, thus leaving her wanting more. You get the number at the height of the convo - if you stay after that, things can start going downhill feelings-wise for her

4. You never tell a girl you're going to call her to set something up. You either set it up in the moment when you're talking to her, or you get the number and call her 4 days later (without telling her you're going to call her) to set up a date. Please take this part out of your pick-up game, and you will get a higher rate of women picking up when you call.

5. I still don't know what the text you sent was... but texting KILLS relationships, especially in the beginning. Take the phone, dial the number, wait for her to pick up and TALK to her. You said she's confident, right? If she wants a CONFIDENT guy, CONFIDENT guys have the guts to actually have a vocal convo with her on the phone.

6. Her job - and any girl you hit on from now on's job - doesn't matter. Nor does the impression she gives you of being "confident," 'cause most girls are great at portraying themselves as one thing, when on the inside they feel another (i.e. unattractive, not confident, worried, etc.).

Now, with all that said... your biggest obstacle in all this, and what I'm guessing is the main reason she didn't hit you back... is because it's a FRIGGIN' HOLIDAY. I tell you guys all the time: holidays are NOT the time to be hitting up new girls you just met. They're spending time with people they already know, and are not looking to spend their day in a texting marathon with a guy they've only talked to ONCE in a bar. My suggestion? Wait 'til Wednesday, then CALL her up, ask her how here holiday weekend was, and see if you can set up a date for Thursday. Hope this helps!

 

[RangerMIke]

My guess is that you are doing fine... you texted her (I would have called) now you have to wait for her to get back to you. Whatever you do don't text her again. If you don't hear from her in a week call her.... Don't mention the text and make a date. But if you don't hear back from her after that move on.

 

[guru1000]

There are no leagues, just opinions. Her opinion of you, but more importantly, your opinion of yourself, which CAN shape her opinion.

 

[G_Govan]

Sounds like you overgamed.

Meaning she was attracted even before you spoke and showed numerous IOIs during your interaction.

If she was truly a 9.5, that means you have to be up there in looks yourself. Game is different with women who have a gut level attraction to you. All you have to do is make a move, not stretch it out over a few days. Let's be honest, if you enjoyed the convo and there was touching, no reason you shouldn't have gone for the kiss.

Unless you have some serious status, genuinely hot chicks will bail if you come off as somewhat aloof. They take it as either a lack of interest or not enough. Lower SMV women are able to take the ego hit a lot better (the chicks I ignore who still chase...).

 

[Suspens]

Game is different with women who have a gut level attraction to you. All you have to do is make a move, not stretch it out over a few days.

So what would happen if you came back after say a few months and made a move but this time more confidently? I guess she has completely forgotten about you by then and will show you the mid finger "WTF loser did you just read a self-help book on confidence and came back LMAO?:crackup: "

 

[BrainDamage92]

At times like these, they are like: "Is he gonna fuk me or what", its an offence, always make a move, a make that mistake sometimes too, but only at work couse I still have leftover morals, and the hotel I work at is full of putang, so I flirt professionally to not lose clients, but they get mad, at a club, by the time our legs started touching Id touch her with something else now eject and wait...

 

[G_Govan]

So what would happen if you came back after say a few months and made a move but this time more confidently? I guess she has completely forgotten about you by then and will show you the mid finger "WTF loser did you just read a self-help book on confidence and came back LMAO?:crackup: "

At that point she'd probably consider it insulting, if she was attracted in the first place.

A friend of mine called a girl like 2 months after he got her number (probably out of desperation), she asked him " why now?" and he had no answer. Of course she rejected him, who wants to feel like they've been on the backburner for somebody , especially for 2 months?

You'd have to have some huge status that would motivate her to overlook this kind of thing.