Missing some of my mojo

[Bingo-Player]

About 6 months ago I got heavily involved with a long distance chick, the first girl in 25 years that had ever been able to make me stop and question if it was worth it anymore

I dropped plates, friends and worst of all my suaveness I went in head first

About a month ago sh1t started going south ……nothing big at first just minor details I would notice her barely ever posting anything about us on social media , she would change her WhatsApp picture every other week , she wanted to be out drinking all the time , the sh1t tests slowly began as did actions not matching words

I slammed the breaks on and completely withdrew from her …..it fell to bits as quickly as it fell together and for the first time in a long time I got hurt

The point scoring aftermath ensued and she started chasing again we agreed we would take the summer to think about what we wanted , Still having sex regularly ( sex is VERY good )

That brings us up to this point I have picked a few plates back up and started going out more but I know im just nowhere near the level I was at before all this began

I find myself on nights out wondering what do I say , and fiddling with my phone which isn’t me at all

I went out last night and did push myself to speak to a couple of chicks , one cute blonde was highly receptive although she was very young 17/18 stupidly I forgot to get her number lost her and had to leave the bar as I was up early for work

The old me would have ramped up the buying temperature kiss closed, got the number and possibly the ride


Im assuming I just need to keep plodding along and chatting to new chicks and ride out the sh1t storm

Anyone been in this sort of situation before after a break up ? , what did you do to get back to your old self ?

 

[lizardking82]

One simple question: if you're experienced, why bother with the LDR? LDR-s are like sexting online with a chick. It;s beautiful, it can feel real sometimes, but it's not. Common, man. You can find a chick that lives in your city.

 

[Bingo-Player]

hmm to be honest im not sure the distance was the biggest issue she only lived around 40 miles away so i could see her when i wanted

the issue's are more commonplace with the modern generation of women i.e branch swinging , victim syndromes , impossible attention yields and emotional meltdowns

it doesn't matter where you get the chick from , im pretty sure could travel to outer Mongolia and still find these issues its systemic

anyway im not bothered about "finding a chick" to replace her

i just want to get back to my previous state of mind so i can go back to banging chicks without attaching emotions to them which makes life so much more simpler

easier said than done though

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

It's a good time for a major change in another area of your life. Look at your job/income, living situation, hobbies, gym life, education and see what you can improve for yourself. This works as a good distraction from the recent past and the angst that resulted. You only broke up a few weeks ago, and you'll still have negativity floating about your mind. Important not to force things before you're mentally ready.

Go out with the lads and have a few beers, talk sh!t and shoot some darts or pool. It's miraculous what a few evenings like these do for reviving your masculinity.

Recently, I've started 'preparing' properly for going out as well. Your mojo isn't (only) about how you behave with birds, but the energy you're giving off in general, how you are reacting to everyone. What vibe are you bringing to the party? Are you going through the motions, or happy go lucky and there to have fun?

I adapted from the G Manifesto website: http://www.thegmanifesto.com/2013/02/ten-stepnightlife-preparation-routine.html

Personally, taking a nap in early evening is the worst possible thing I could do for my energy. But a routine is good to get in you in to the right mood.

My early Saturday evening will usually go something along these lines:

-Gym session. Not a full workout, maybe half of the normal. Enough to stimulate the endophines and get the muscles swole, but not so much that I can't move afterward.
-Light meal: no carbs to avoid heaviness/sleepiness. Again, maybe half of what I'd normally eat for a meal.
-Sh!t, shower, shave.
-Quick lie down/sit down with some tunes on while I dry off. See who's out and what nights are on at my regular haunts. I'm pretty relaxed by this stage after gym, food and warm shower.
-Get dressed, re-hydrate.
-Dance round room as I get ready, maybe a bit of light shadow-boxing, get in positive mood, think happy thoughts. Plan where to go if going out solo.
-Might have one drink and a smoke, though trying to cut down drinking so pre-drinks are a no go atm.

-Head out an hour early and maybe take a scenic route and get chatting with people along the way. Might visit one or two bars before my planned destination. Might change plans altogether depending what the vibe is like outside or who I meet along the way.

 

[Mr Wright]

I say it's totally normal. Picking up chicks is like a muscle, if you don't use it, you lose it. But muscle memory will kick in once you force yourself to just do what you have to do. I basically had a 14-16 month period where I was consistently banging on average 2 new girls a month, sometimes 3, sometimes 1 and it was easy. Then I've had a 2 month break where I've been involved with a girl, hadn't hit on any other girls and even after 2 months, getting back into it was hard. But last yet night I ended my 3 week long dry spell and that was after a week of just crap. I completely screwed up with a strong maybe girl, which should have been a standard lay and got flake after flake. So one night I literally just thought about some of my favourite shags over the last couple of years, the build ups to them and just reminded myself what I can do and smashed it last night.

It's like if you don't go to the gym for a while, it'll take some time to get back to where you were before but put in the time and it'll come. God knows what it would be like to get jolted out of a marriage and having to get back out there...don't fancy that.

 

[AlphaNate]

Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.

The fact that you knew to come here is a good sign.

Learn from this. Hit the gym. Get your frame back. I would lay off chicks until you're sure these goals are complete.

 

[Bingo-Player]

I say it's totally normal. Picking up chicks is like a muscle, if you don't use it, you lose it. But muscle memory will kick in once you force yourself to just do what you have to do. I basically had a 14-16 month period where I was consistently banging on average 2 new girls a month, sometimes 3, sometimes 1 and it was easy. Then I've had a 2 month break where I've been involved with a girl, hadn't hit on any other girls and even after 2 months, getting back into it was hard. But last yet night I ended my 3 week long dry spell and that was after a week of just crap. I completely screwed up with a strong maybe girl, which should have been a standard lay and got flake after flake. So one night I literally just thought about some of my favourite shags over the last couple of years, the build ups to them and just reminded myself what I can do and smashed it last night.

It's like if you don't go to the gym for a while, it'll take some time to get back to where you were before but put in the time and it'll come. God knows what it would be like to get jolted out of a marriage and having to get back out there...don't fancy that.

Yea I think you’re right (no pun) I mean I’m only 25 ive banged about 40 chicks pulled countless others and yet 6 months off the scene and I feel like a lost puppy


Wonder if it’s the same for women


Luckily I took evasive action a couple of weeks ago when all this kicked off and booked a few days in Ibiza for the end of June I’m hoping that will help to kick me back into touch


As with everything in life I guess when something goes wrong it feels like everything is going wrong I just need to ride it out


Like you say coming out of a 15 – 20 yr marriage and having to get back on the scene must be an absolute nightmare