Missed opportunity?...not yet?

[crotchrocket]

Just want some opinions on a situation; if I should just go for it, or if it is better to just chalk it up as a missed opportunity, and move on.

The scenario; I went motorbiking a week ago with a buddy to the lake, he wanted to look up a girl he is friends with, we found her (and 2 other girls), I hadn't met her before, I did the c&f thing, teased her, got all the 'signs' from her (she was 'interested'), she gave us a ride in her boat, she was an awesome hostess, she practically begged us to stay for supper, she thanked us for coming over and over again, walked us out to our bikes, waved at us as we left (and she's cute)... I am usually good at number closing but this time I had a brain fart and I didn't mention we should get together again or even get her number!!

I got her number now (a week later) from my buddy, has it been too long to call her up now? Is it 'against the rules' to get her number from a friend (and not the girl herself)?

If I call her how does this sound? "...hey you gave me a ride in your boat and gave me supper, now I think we need to go for a ride on my motorbike and go for desert!" Any ideas on this whole thing, let me have it!

 

[Doppler4000]

Your best opportunity has already passed. If you call her out of the blue without her giving permission for you to have her number, it will probably come off as creepy. Even if it doesn't, doing things this way will show her a lack of confidence and inability to take change of a situation because you didn't get her number in person. It may still be possible to make something of this, but I wouldn't do it the way you suggest. It all depends on her level of interest at this point.

 

[cbratton]

It really wouldn't hurt to try, now would it? Its just a phone call...and it'd be easier for her to tell you a truthful answer. A few girls might just say yes because you are standing there in front of them, which could be awkward.

I'd just call and say hi I'm blah blah and I was at blah blah with you and blah blah and was wondering if blah blah?

 

[Bungo Pony]

I'm with Doppler4000. Don't wanna be creepy. If you want a second chance, get your buddy to hook up with them again. You shouldn't have a problem the second time around. Just don't let your buddy tell her that you like her over the phone.

 

[crotchrocket]

I asked about a dozen girls this same question, no what all of them answered? Go for it! they all mentioned how impressed they would be with a guy who had enough balls to solve his own screw-up. I agree with Doppler4000 in that the best opportunity has already passed, but I was aware of that 5 minutes down the road, it was more of an unprepared-ness, it had nothing to do with a lack of confidence (like I said it was a brain fart-hey it happens).

This also points out a couple of other errors in thinking;
#1 by getting my buddy to 'set us up again' that is essentially getting someone else to solve my problems and does that not sound like getting your big-brother to beat the crap out of the bully that was picking on you when you were 6?
#2 does a true DJ/Alpha male give a crap what others think? Does he 'ask' a woman permission? No!

An Alpha male makes his own opportunities, he doesn't wait for them to just 'happen' and certainly doesn't rely on others to get it done.

I have been inspired by these answers to do what I already knew I should, GO FOR IT ! If she thinks I am a creep then I guess she is just another paranoid drama queen, which needs to be NEXTed! I am making that phone call in about 3 hours-I'll update you soon.

Thanks for enlightening me!

 

[Bungo Pony]

#1 by getting my buddy to 'set us up again' that is essentially getting someone else to solve my problems and does that not sound like getting your big-brother to beat the crap out of the bully that was picking on you when you were 6?

Your buddy is just a connection to this chick. It's like hanging out with a group of friends and seeing the same chick. Why can't you and your buddy hang out with these chicks again? If it was fun, do it again! There's nothing wrong with taking advantage of opportunities and connections. If you and him hang out with these chicks again, there will be a better possibility of you ending up with this chick than calling her out of the blue.

 

[crotchrocket]

My buddy is a major **** BLOCKER and an AFC, I was actually surprised he got her number for me. He also doesn't know her that well, last time he saw her was last fall (at this same lake) he might run into her a couple times a year, he certainly doesn't hang out with her. The day we found these chics at the lake, my buddy didn't even remember where her cabin was for sure (and had actually forgotten her name).

Assuming the issue of calling a chic out of the blue is sort of an invasion of privacy (I didn't get her permission) wouldn't you say that stopping by someone's private lake cabin is worse, yet she certainly didn't mind that, she thanked us over and over again, she did her best to keep us there as long as she could.

So in order to hook up with her again my buddy would have to either set it up somehow with people he knows who know her, or he would have to call her out of the blue, it just isn't feasable.

I totally agree if this was someone that I would likely 'run into again' (planned or not) I would definitely do it that way but it will never happen.

 

[Doppler4000]

Originally posted by crotchrocket
I asked about a dozen girls this same question, no what all of them answered? Go for it! they all mentioned how impressed they would be with a guy who had enough balls to solve his own screw-up.

When women answer a question like this, they're assuming / fantasizing in their mind that the girl had really high interest in this guy and was thinking about him ever since that night wishing he'd have asked her out then. That's how their minds work. Under these circumstances, sure- it would probably work. Anything less than that- it's most likely gonna be awkward. I'm not promising you failure, just trying to guide you to something that's definitely got better chance of success.

An Alpha male makes his own opportunities, he doesn't wait for them to just 'happen' and certainly doesn't rely on others to get it done.

Not exactly here. An alpha male is always prepared and would have gotten the number the first time. Now that you've missed, you should do what has the best odds of success, rather that calling this girl names like paranoid drama queen if she balks when you do something creepy. It wouldn't be her fault you didn't ask for the number when you had the chance.

Good luck... if it doesn't work, it will be a lesson to take advantage of the situation at hand in the future.

 

[crotchrocket]

I think three of the most useless words in the english language are could've, would've and should've. Doppler4000- it's a waste of time and energy to keep stating the obvious. Should I have gotten her number from her that day, absolutely! nobody including me would deny that for a second. The whole issue here is how does one rectify THIS situation, not the next one, not one six months ago... I am well aware that I need to be prepared and get the digits in the moment, I usually do, just missed this one, hey nobody is perfect!

I'm glad I asked this question and debated it, because it has made me realize how far I have come. Just a year ago, while I was still a master AFC, what would I have done in a similar situation? NOTHING, except hoping I'd run into her again, or maybe asked a buddy the next time he's going partying with her circle to let me know so I can tag along. God it makes me sick to think how pathetic that is!

Know what I did? I phoned her, got her machine, tried again 3 hours later, got her machine again, this time I left a message. Yah I know, next somebody's gonna tell me how wrong that is, (I'll explain why it isn't next). Anyway I leave her a message "hey Carrie, if you don't know who this is, that's too bad, cuz all I'm gonna give you is a couple clues... and don't worry I'll try again sometime!" Well about a half-hour later she phones me back (she must have call display), she knew who it was, she was happy to here from me, she thanked me for calling, and we are going out on Thursday!

Ever watch a guy that was really good with women, (before you improved your game) and wonder "how does he get away with saying/doing that ? If I tried that it would never work!" That's because there's an important thing to remember; ITS NOT WHAT YOU DO (that makes your actions afc or dj), ITS HOW YOU DO IT!