mini FR- was at the pub friday night.

[Packers2010]

ok. so. i was at the pub on Friday night and there was this cute blond there. i needed a pool partner to play with. so i started talking to her and told her i needed a player to play with. \

so i grabbed her hand and dragged her over to the table and we started to talk a little me. she told me she plays soccer for a local team and stuff. the hole time we was having the convo. I could see her eyes darting between me and her friend back at the table i took her from. ( thanks to Tyler for teaching me that one) so i knew it was " on " or anything like that. plus at this stage i was pretty drunk.

the table wasn't open at the time. so she said made the excuse, " come back and get me when the table opens up" then went back to sit down with her friends.

at this point i knew i blew it, though my care factor was " time for another beer" man i was so drunk. ( yes i know it's bad, though i went out with friends and there was like 6 girls in a packed pub the whole night)

so a little time goes past and she came up to me and told me she was leaving. we said goodbye and she left.

I SO WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT!

after my friend said i should have got her number, but at the time i just wasn't thinking. it was really weird to see this. when she said back down i was like, " well that was that" but she came back to say goodbye,.

this is something small, but, i guess i haven't experience much in the game yet.

have any of you felt like this before? or had something happen that blew you mind. i mean. i though this girl didn't even like me. though she liked me enough to say goodbye. maybe she was being polite. but hey, no too many girls have ever been polite to me. so it was something weird for me to see.

 

[Fly By Night]

All she did was check back at her friend's table and said to get her when the table opens up. She could be looking back at her friends because a complete stranger has dragged her away from them and the table thing was not the big of a "rejection" more like resistance.

Honestly, that happens to me a lot, where I think that she doesn't like me just because she showed a little bit of resistance. But you have to keep going confidently until you can tell yourself with up most certainty that she does not want anything to do with you.

Not every girl is going to throw themselves on top of a random stranger.

 

[Packers2010]

i know there not going to throw themselves at me. I was just saying she was " uncomfortable" at that point. i was pretty drunk.

i really didn't expect anything from here. so.

 

[Fly By Night]

Yeah, drunkeness can be a turnoff.

I'm still looking for ways around the drunk situation. I think being more romantic rather than sexual works if she is uncomfortable when you are drunk, but I have yet to try this out. I think one way to get her out of the just-playing-a-game-of-pool mindset is to continue talking to her even if the table wasn't ready. Subtly shows her that you're talking to her for more than just playing pool.

 

[flashpoint]

unless she is a complete idiot she ll get it that you werent just lookin for a pool partner. the looks she exchanged with her friends confirm that. of course she felt a lil uncomfy but she wasnt mad at you. there was definitely potential. that she would say goodbye could mean she didnt want to be unpolite, could mean she would give you an opportunity to do somethin. either way it is not negative. next time you see her, chat her up, if nothing else she ows you that pool game (and make her play for something). basically good job, just tone it down with the alcohol, it clouds your judgement.

 

[Packers2010]

Yeah, drunkeness can be a turnoff.

I'm still looking for ways around the drunk situation. I think being more romantic rather than sexual works if she is uncomfortable when you are drunk, but I have yet to try this out. I think one way to get her out of the just-playing-a-game-of-pool mindset is to continue talking to her even if the table wasn't ready. Subtly shows her that you're talking to her for more than just playing pool.

I did talk to her once we realised the table wasn't open.

i think it's more to the fact that. " i always though girls was out to get me" i mean, in my mind. she wasn't going to come over to my table and tell me she was leaving, she would have just left.

so to see this, it means:

A) i'm did SOMETHING right.
B) i'm not as **** as i thought I was

sure i know every girl won't be like this but i know now that I can talk to a girl. i just need to work more the approach. most of the time it goes:

1) I see girl
2) I think of something to say
3) she comes closer to me
4) I chicken out
5) she walks on by.

this is evident when a girl say next to me on the train the other day. i had my headphones on. then saw she was cute. so after awhile I turned them off. i kept looking at her for awhile but chickened out. then she changed seats. once i arrived at my stop i saw she was there as well so obviously i freaked her out.

I really need to fix this. even if i just say "Hi" and she says " hello" and that's it.

@ flashpoint

yeah If I see her again I will totally talk to her again.

 

[flashpoint]

"so i grabbed her hand and dragged her over to the table" - dont forget about your best move in this situation! congratz to that.


"chicken out corresponds" with "Fight-or-flight". that is only natural. good thing is there is a second option and you want to keep that in mind. so instead just say something (nice) = fight ;-). all you need to do is to go beyond that line. this moment of awkwardness. that's why there is the 3-seconds rule, the more time you have to think about things the more it messes with your head and you forget about what comes natural to you.

so one thing you could do is playing back these situation in your head until the point where you chicken out and try to figure out when the feeling is taking over. then come up with something that you could do instead to get past it. rewind, play back, adjust. until it feels right. you can train your mind like that. after all it is a simple matter of stimulus–response. once you ll v get used to responding differently u dont even need to think about it anymore. and purposefully try and try and try. make it a task, or rather a game and keep score. you even can reward yourself with something once you get beyond a certain number of attempts within a week or so.

gl.