Mind Screwed

[LeonSK]

Met this girl at the gym in my company (big company, we work in different buildings). Sent her an e-mail yesterday after workout just briefly said hi. No response (not expecting a response anyway).

However, today, I said "hey" on a company internal chatting software, and she didn't respond.

I am only a little interested in this girl, I could care less if she is not interested, but I am a bit mad at no response. This is so unprofessional because we are at least colleagues, and especially knowing we will meet again at the gym, probably every week.

 

[Mr Wright]

What's more unprofessional? Her not replying or you using company resources to get your d!ck wet?

How did your original conversation go?

 

[sylvester the cat]

Met this girl at the gym in my company (big company, we work in different buildings). Sent her an e-mail yesterday after workout just briefly said hi. No response (not expecting a response anyway).

However, today, I said "hey" on a company internal chatting software, and she didn't respond.

I am only a little interested in this girl, I could care less if she is not interested, but I am a bit mad at no response. This is so unprofessional because we are at least colleagues, and especially knowing we will meet again at the gym, probably every week.

you're not expecting a response and you couldn't care less and yet you are a bit mad.

you might save yourself a whole lot of time if you started being honest with yourself. admit it, you're in love with this chick and you can't live without her.

 

[LeonSK]

What's more unprofessional? Her not replying or you using company resources to get your d!ck wet?

How did your original conversation go?

Well, the chatting software is for communication. She works at a different department. I'd like to know her. I don't see anything unprofessional in this. I just want to say hi and ask her what her background is, what she does at work. It's like networking...

Are you saying if I talk to any female colleague I'm a little interested using company resources, I'm unprofessional?

 

[LeonSK]

you're not expecting a response and you couldn't care less and yet you are a bit mad.

you might save yourself a whole lot of time if you started being honest with yourself. admit it, you're in love with this chick and you can't live without her.

I'm mad because we will meet again and this makes it awkward. I'll probably take bradd80's advice and just pretend I didn't send her the message.

 

[sylvester the cat]

I'm mad because we will meet again and this makes it awkward. I'll probably take bradd80's advice and just pretend I didn't send her the message.

what do you mean 'probably'? you mean there's a chance you might confront her about it? what would you say? 'Why didn't you reply to my two messages saying hi'? because that totally wouldn't make things awkward for you in the work place.

 

[GS750]

Yeah...you're a little butthurt because if she was some fatty you could care less about then it would make no difference. Use the advice in your signature and approach her in person and chat her up. Or don't. But don't mention the two messages you sent that she didn't reply to.

 

[Mr Wright]

Still curious to find out what happened initially at the gym? Did you talk to her and she'd seem like she'd reply? Or did you quickly get a glance at her ID badge and look her up?

 

[LeonSK]

Still curious to find out what happened initially at the gym? Did you talk to her and she'd seem like she'd reply? Or did you quickly get a glance at her ID badge and look her up?

We are in the same fitness class. Met her at last class a week ago. Before yesterday's class, she initiated conversation, "so you made it again..." Chatted a little bit before class stated. Then after class, I asked her what did she think of the class. Ended the conversation with "R u on xxxx (company online chat software?" She said "Yes." Overall, conversation went well I would say.

I pretty much knew (although not 100% sure) she wasn't really interested when she didn't reply my e-mail. I was trying to use online chat to ease the tension and at least make a friend as we will see each other a lot at the gym.

Never expected one not to reply "hey", so my original purpose of easing the tension went the opposite direction. I used "hey" because I wanted make it very casual. I don't know how you guys see it. I was trying to make it so chill that I didn't even have "!" after "hey", usually I do when I initiate conversation.

 

[pdx1138]

just pretend it never happened, don't be looking for her in the next gym session.

maybe she'll come back to you. maybe not.

but like Bradd said it just isn't a good idea to put your wick in the company ink.

 

[DarkDetective50]

Why are you using office emails to flirt with a coworker? Tread lightly.

 

[abe0]

Lord...you ask for advice and then get a little defensive. Do not use company stuff to communicate with the intentions of a romance. Do not wet your winny where you work. If you met her at the gym...keep the communications there or you phone...but it probably felt weird for her to be approached through the company.
Listen...these guys are trying to help you!!! She was not interested...if you keep it up you might be harassing her and that is not good. You say you really do not care....well....why are you so upset about it?
Abe

 

[LeonSK]

Why are you using office emails to flirt with a coworker? Tread lightly.

Do you really think that's flirtation? I was just saying hi to introduce myself so she will have my contact, I can presumably do this to everybody I just met. The whole e-mail is like "Hi, this is xxx from xxx. It was nice meeting you." I have done this to other colleagues (male and female) before.

Detective, I wasn't trying to defend. That's a serious question. I didn't grow up here in the US. Some concept is still blurry/confusing to me.

 

[LeonSK]

Lord...you ask for advice and then get a little defensive. Do not use company stuff to communicate with the intentions of a romance. Do not wet your winny where you work. If you met her at the gym...keep the communications there or you phone...but it probably felt weird for her to be approached through the company.
Listen...these guys are trying to help you!!! She was not interested...if you keep it up you might be harassing her and that is not good. You say you really do not care....well....why are you so upset about it?
Abe

man, understood, it may seem a bit defensive but I was honestly just confused.

As I said, I was upset because I will see her in the gym every week. Her being not responding makes this a bit awkward. I thought "hey" was very very casual. I didn't try to give her an impression that I was into her or what. I really just wanted to make a new friend. I won't do anything with her unless she shows big interest. I have read "let girls approach you at work place."

Of course I'm not gonna keep it up...

 

[mikey2012]

She NC you. Playing hard to get.

 

[papawapa]

Just because a woman initiates a conversation doesnt mean she is interested. She was probably anxious or bored. You needed to build some rapport with her face to face, tease her a little, spark some emotion. Since you did none of those things messaging her a "hey" was a total creeper move.