Met with a girl I used to have a crush on...

thadder

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Long story short, was at a bar a few years back with a friend, he leaves, this girl sits right next to me, we chat and get to know each other. Give fake names, I leave because of work in the AM. We proceed to bump into each other 3 separate times, we stay in contact and see each other every so often, she eventually gets a boyfriend, I end up getting busier with work.

Still keep in touch every so often.

Fast forward to last night she snapchatted me, then eventually texts me, I ask her to meet for a beer the next night, she agrees.

She informs me that her friend (female) is gonna swing by later, she writes "XXX is going meet us at 10"

Her friend shows up, we all sit, hang, have a few beers and I get invited out this weekend to hang out with them.

The girl I have the crush on doesn't mention her boyfriend, takes a few jabs at me during conversation, her friend asks how we met, so she then brings up the story of how we met a few years ago to her friend. She says "I sat a seat away from him" -- and I even began to argue that she sat next me, she says she didn't -- a playful argue. She also said that we gave each other fake names.

I end up tabbing out, she pays in cash and leaves, no hug or anything. I had no real expectations going into this.

A few things that stand out to me are;

1. She agrees to get a beer
2. She informs me her female friend will swing by, but "She will be meeting us at 10" -- "Us" -- interesting word selection
3. She remembers how we met and brought it up, but wondering if it's not some kind of way to see what I remember.
4. No mention of boyfriend, even when we used to hang out in the past.

I really like her, but a lot of it's really hard to read. Any input?
 

teddy

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Personally, I don't think it's anything. Also depends how serious she is with bf.
 

Harry Wilmington

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There's nothing hard to read here - no interest signs were shown. Just because a girl is being friendly with you doesn't mean she's interested in you - it just means she has good manners. Meeting up with you at a bar and inviting a friend to join you isn't a date, thus not a sign of interest. If anything, her bringing in a 3rd party is more of a signal that she didn't want to meet up with you by herself and give you the impression that it was a date. Nothing else on your list is an indicator of any high interest on her part. Sorry dude, I think you're just trying to read into her signals more than what's actually there.
 

Don_Dom

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One way to find out...hang out with them this weekend as planned. Casually talk to some other girls and see how she/they react.

Just don't overdo it and don't make it obvious...You are there with them so don't abandon them, just some mild flirting with a girl on the way back from the can or something. You aren't trying to cause jealousy, just testing the waters to see if any exists. If she only thinks of you as a friend she really shouldn't care. If it causes weirdness then you know there may be something there.

The most important thing, for your own sake, is don't over think things and let this girl get under your skin before you really know what the deal is. Chances are likely she just thinks of you as a friend.
 

Pardner

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Meet up and see how it goes. If you don't get any good vibes next time then you will know.
 

teddy

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Honestly, she just probably wants to be "friends".

Nearly every girl that's done this to me is because they just wanted to be "friends" while their boyfriend was unavailable/busy.
 

Uncharted

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Meet up one on one. Then kino, escalate, etc. If she stops you, she's not interested. Onto the next.
 

thadder

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So we've been sending snapchats back and forth since Tuesday night.

I woke up earlier today to a text from her and she asked me to go to lunch with her. And it was just her and I, no one else.

Conversation was really casual, I wouldn't say there was anything too significant discussed. But just really enjoyed the one on one time with her...
 

VladPatton

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Harry Wilmington said:
There's nothing hard to read here - no interest signs were shown. Just because a girl is being friendly with you doesn't mean she's interested in you - it just means she has good manners. Meeting up with you at a bar and inviting a friend to join you isn't a date, thus not a sign of interest. If anything, her bringing in a 3rd party is more of a signal that she didn't want to meet up with you by herself and give you the impression that it was a date. Nothing else on your list is an indicator of any high interest on her part. Sorry dude, I think you're just trying to read into her signals more than what's actually there.

I agree with Harry on this one.
 

DragonBlood

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thadder said:
No mention of boyfriend, even when we used to hang out in the past.
Means nothing? This point is so make-up-ish. She also didnt mention she was into girls or had any health problems either I suspect.


If you like her ask her out and accept what comes. Its much easier to read a flake than an IOI.
 

thadder

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I met up with her over the weekend... She was out with female friends, we hung out and danced for a bit, she poked fun at me like always.

Here's where it gets interesting... About 3 weeks ago, I asked if she wanted to check out a new restaurant, she said sure when I get back from being out of town... I asked her later the week when I got back, to which she replied she had a busy schedule and couldn't find time.

When we met up over the weekend I asked her friend if she was still dating that guy... She said yes, but they had broken up for a week and got back together. The girl I like, never gave off any vibe that she was single.

So the rest of the night we hung out, poked fun of each other and had a few beers. When I heard her "bf" was going to pick her up from the bar, I figured best to move on to another bar, to avoid any confrontation...

So not sure where to go from here, I can definitely see that there are cracks in the relationship but yet I don't want to be "that guy"
 

Tomo

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How to stop being obsolete?

I don't really see any interests, you do like me in that you overthink things and think signs here and there mean something of which they don't. WHen a girl likes you, you will know.


*** sorry about the title, got mixed up trying to post a new thread.
 

Syrio

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Unfortunately I don't think she's interested based on what you wrote. It sounds like she just wants to be friends with you. If she wanted anything more she probably wouldn't have invited her other friend to join you guys.

thadder said:
1. She agrees to get a beer
2. She informs me her female friend will swing by, but "She will be meeting us at 10" -- "Us" -- interesting word selection
3. She remembers how we met and brought it up, but wondering if it's not some kind of way to see what I remember.
4. No mention of boyfriend, even when we used to hang out in the past.
None of these seem to indicate any romantic interest. I think you're over-analyzing the word choice "us", and the rest of it just doesn't seem to hold a lot of weight to be honest.

The way I see it you have two options:
1. Forget about her and just move on to the next girl.
2. Make a move like next time you see her.
*I would say there's a third option to actually just be friends with her, but I definitely would not recommend being friends with a girl who you have (or had) a crush on.

There is nothing to be gained by waiting here and building up your friendship more. That definitely won't help as far as trying to become romantically involved.

But this is all just my opinion. Honestly I don't see any downside to just going for it and making a move, even though it probably won't work. That's what I would recommend.

But anyway, whatever you decide to do, good luck!
 
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