Met HB from MYSPACE, says she has NO SELF ESTEEM - WOW!

[skip2mylou781]

Wow I never thought id need advice on this site, but I actually do here...


2 nights ago I messaged a girl on myspace and she gave me her sn saying she couldnt believe a guy as hot as me would talk to her aka she sounded desperate and easy. She looked like an HB6 on her pics but oh well. We talked online for an hour, i got her # and we agreed to meet up the next day.

So last nite, i went over her house at 9:30, she had messaged me on myspace again saying that im a dream guy for her and shes amazed by me (just from talkin online), and she wanted to make sure we are still on for tonite.

ANYWAY i get to her house, she opens the door and i freakin see an HB9, much better than her pics, cute face, sexy dancer's body (shes been dancing all her life), and shes deff happy to see me (smiling, eye contact ect.)


I meet her parents, we go to her basement where she has satellite tv, and we start watchin a movie......we start cuddling right away while we watch the movie and talk, she deff is into me, otherwise she wouldnt have leaned in to cuddle in the first place!....then i kiss her on the hand and she looks at me and gives me a quick kiss (she initiated) so obv INTEREST LEVEl is high on her part.

Now here is where I go WRONG.

I start to apply sosauve stuff on her aka ****y+funny, neg hits, ect (cuz i assumed shes hot and itd b ok to do that)....needless to say, the 1st neg hit i gave her, she looked at me at disbelief that i would ever say that (so much for that sweet dream guy she thought she was meeting lol)....i tried ****y and funny but she didnt laugh at that ****, she instead laughed at AFC type jokes.................................
..........................THEN
..............she tells me she has ZERO selfesteem cuz all her bfs treated her with no rspect and always told her bad things, which explains when i told her shes beautiful, she said "no wayyyyy, nope im not"



I continued with some more C+F tho and she seemed to get more distant as time went on, almost as if she assumed I dont like her.

We ended with a hug and she said she'll call me tomorrow


All in all, it was totally WEIRD cuz that hot girl has no confidence and I feel like the only way I can get her is to put on a total AFC act and anythin alpha will not WORK....is this even possible? I never seen anything like this b4

 

[DJDamage]

I start to apply sosauve stuff on her aka ****y+funny, neg hits, ect (cuz i assumed shes hot and itd b ok to do that)....needless to say, the 1st neg hit i gave her, she looked at me at disbelief that i would ever say that (so much for that sweet dream guy she thought she was meeting lol)....i tried ****y and funny but she didnt laugh at that ****, she instead laughed at AFC type jokes.................................
..........................THEN
..............she tells me she has ZERO selfesteem cuz all her bfs treated her with no rspect and always told her bad things, which explains when i told her shes beautiful, she said "no wayyyyy, nope im not"

Let me get this stright. Everything was going great right?! so why would you start with c0cky and funny and negs??!! You don't all of the sudden show a different side of you in such a short period of time when the girl has already indicated to you that she has a high interest in you.

Another minor thing or two: Don't meet her parents if you barley know her and the first kiss you give her should be on the lips not on any other part of her body. Beside any girl that invites a guy to her house before even meeting him face to face is sounds strange to me. This chick has issues no doubts.

Don't do routines if what you are doing is working for you.

 

[flippinfreak]

lol, I KNEW you had problems.

Alpha is not all about showing people you are better than them. Alpha is about BEING better than betas. Not showing off and "one upping" betas, basically being of better character.

C+F is just to show people that you can be stuck up and funny. Neg hits are to tell people to stop being so stuck up.

An alpha male only gets defensive when a beta tries to "kick his ass" at whatever he is doing. An alpha just shows the beta that he can succeed, and he will do something about it if he is put on the spot, backed into a corner.

Like a dog, or a pack of wolves, and alpha male will be playful, he will show the pups how to hunt, and he will comfort all of the females and betas, BECAUSE it is part of reminding everybody how good of an animal he is. He does rip at all the other dogs, bark at the women, and throw the kids around.

This girl had low self esteem, the best thing to do in that situation is to boost her self esteem. SHow her that she deserves to have you around...

That's where push/pull comes into play. Push her to be great, give her ego boosts, break the ice about as many different things as possible to get her believing in herself. Like the girl who will have sex with you, but won't enjoy her body, you have to make her feel good about opening up to you. A girl who has a boyfriend who constantly negged her is going to be defensive about whatever she does, because she thinks she is going to be judged harshly, and will react to everything as though it's not good enough. "If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all" means something else to most people, if you have nothing GOOD to say, don't say anything at all.

Push her to stand up for herself and her body, her mind, and to dirty and playful jokes. If she gets too c0cky about herself, push her away, give her a little slap on the wrist, just show her your masuclinity, place your hand on her shoulder but don't squeeze. If she is beating up on herself as she was with you, tell her to cheer up, tell her to take the joke less seriously, tell her to stop thinking that way. Than invite her to open up more, tug on her heart strings...

You don't always have to work the "I am good, I am great, I am THE prize" routine on a girl, because a lot of girls will think of you as pompous and arrogant.

 

[DJDamage]

This girl had low self esteem, the best thing to do in that situation is to boost her self esteem. SHow her that she deserves to have you around...

Alot of pretty girls have low self esteem. He shouldn't try to boost nothing, if she is really was attracted to him,he would reciprecate with his actions that would boost her self esteem by itself. It is unsual for a girl to tell a guy she just met and wants to attract that "she has low self esteem". Something tells me she ain't all right after all.

she tells me she has ZERO selfesteem cuz all her bfs treated her with no rspect and always told her bad things, which explains when i told her shes beautiful, she said "no wayyyyy, nope im not"

This chick is twisted. Blames all her problems on previous Ex-boyfriends whom didn't know each other yet the outcome has always been the same. The reality is that this chick probably loves jerks and drama and blames all her problems on them. But you are different right??! you are a "nice guy" and when you show her how nice you are she will drop you like a sack of potato and run back to her "abusing ex".

Odd behaviour on a first date usually means she is damaged goods and you are better off not wasting your time on her but rather go and date other girls and find those who still have positive and high self esteem.

 

[skip2mylou781]

good advice good advice....i wanna make some more things clear about this:

1)we met off of myspace the very next nite after first talking on AIM
2)she told me online that she cant believe someone so hot like me (shes deff puttin me on a pedestal there) would ever talk to her (shes hot too tho so i was like wtffffffff?)
3)I met her parents cuz i had no choice, she invited me over and they were home...i couldnt just ignore them lol
4I dont wanna just NEXT her cuz i deff wanna f#ck her b4 i do that, so wats the best thing i can do to hit that? shed DEFF BE BAD TO DATE, and i kno that 100%....shes quite hot tho to pass up when it comes to sex

 

[Desdinova]

I start to apply sosauve stuff on her aka ****y+funny, neg hits

Here is when you should use neg-hits:

- On initial contact with a woman
- If she thinks she's the hottest thing in the world
- If the woman thinks she's too good for you

Now, I'm wondering if what you said was a neg-hit, or an insult. Most newbies don't know the difference. Using them on a woman who has low self-esteem won't make her more attracted to you.

Now, knowing that she has low self-esteem, she's going to be high maintenance. She's already displayed this:

- when i told her shes beautiful, she said "no wayyyyy, nope im not"

- she couldnt believe a guy as hot as me would talk to her

This woman is going to be fishing for constant ego boosts. She'll call herself fat, stupid, clumsy, ugly, and everything else under the sun just to get an ego boost from you. Sex with her is going to be lousy, since she probably won't want you to see her naked.

She'll eventually end up being a huge pain in the ass. Don't get emotionally involved with this woman. If you do, she'll drag your self-esteem and confidence down to her level, and you'll end up very unhappy and miserable.

 

[skip2mylou781]

yea, the neg hitting and C+F that i did on her, it was because i THOUGHT she'd be full of herself ccuz she was hot and it was before she told me she has zero confidence.....hmm you are right about the sex being awkward cuz she wont want me to see her naked.....but in a fun kinda way, i want to really bang the hell out of some AFC girl whos an HB9 who has me on a pedestal....itd be a new experience lol


fyi im not a newbie

 

[skip2mylou781]

desdinova, online this girl thought of me as god and couldnt believe I even IMed her...so she deff didnt think shes too good for me, but I dont kno wat she thought in person....she initiated all cuddling, I simply was trying to be a challendge kinda but I just feel like if im a total AFC who kisses her ass, THEN i'll get somewhere real good with her, wat do u think?

 

[flippinfreak]

Desdinova

Can you read over what I wrote, and tell me if it makes any sense to you?

 

[mistermarc]

that is funny....dude if being normal was working for you and you were getting plays, why the hell did u switch to c+f...all girls aren't the same and there is always the 1 in a 100 who will be totally different...too bad u picked that one...if she calls, apologize for busting on her and go back 2 normal...yu'll get thru faster!

 

[flippinfreak]

lol, and apologize the right way. Don't just apologize for ragging on her, her boyfriend said that to her all the time. He pulled the quick release chord and said ,I'm sorry for hurting you, let me make it up to you.

Ask her if she felt bad when you were talking to her. Just connect with her. Understand that you were wrong, and talk to her in a way that proves you understand. Don't just say that you are going to change, you literally HAVE to be doing what you say your going to do.

She's going to fish for compliments, because she doesn't know if she deserves them yet. If she asks if she thinks she's beautiful, don't just say yes, say it in a way that she KNOWS she's beautiful. As an AFC would tell a girl she is beautiful, a DJ/PUA/charmer would comment on the way what she is wearing compliments her eyes, or her dress compliments her body, or the words she says just shows that she is sexy. Don't directly bring up the fact, say it in a way that you notice it, and it just gets that much better when she acts in a certain way.

Everything you make comments about, should accent the way she should act around you.

*******s do it, but AFC's simply say it and hope she believes him. It's like petting a dog, and expecting him to perform a trick for you. It doesn't work that way. You have to constantly show the dog the right way to perform the trick, you have to reenforce the trick in the dog.

With a woman, she won't simply bend to your will if she doesn't believe you are strong. If you have a strong mindset, are alpha around everybody, and you approach her. I know youdon't suddenly turn into a pile of emotions that she can mess with, you are strong, and whatever she says to you should conform with your mindset so that she is accepted by YOU. So whenever you talk to a girl who is all uptight, you can neg-hit her, to tell her that she is being too high maintenance and she should cool her jets and talk straight with you. When she is feeling sad, you do the opposite, you make her know that you know she is sad, and you won't wait around to hear it, you make her know she's sad for the wrong reason, by telling her she is wrong.

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

wow you were winning until you tried to be someone that you are not...

 

[Q-Pid]

You can say she scared you off because she was moving too fast and that you wanted to get to know her better. Haha talk about reverse roles!

This girl sounds very immature. How old is she if you don't mind me asking?